After London had told his sister he felt a bit of weight lifted off of his shoulders, it felt as if it was a secret that he had been keeping for so long that he really wanted to share but couldn't but now he—could.

The day when the notes were read and given out, he felt a bit eased, he knew that he wasn't alone anymore. Today was a new day, A new week. Monday. He sat in front of his mirror for awhile, staring at himself. He was wearing makeup. Something that he hadn't worn since he was young. God, how was he terrified.

It wasn't like he was caked with makeup on his face it was very natural and light. He even put on a light pink lip tint, he honestly looked beautiful . Yet he still felt nervous and just not good enough. He took a deep breath and got up. He was wearing an oversized sweater and ripped jeans he threw on some classic black vans. He his left hair alone in it's natural curly state.

-

Jaden sighed as he smoked, breathing in the toxic air and exhaling out toxic air into the atmosphere, he stood outaide of the school, leaning against a brick wall, staring into space. The thing that Jaden learned from highschool was that— he could care less. He cared so little about everything, in every relationship he was the one who kept everything to himself while the girl poured her feelings out, giving him affection and "love" he never would see it as love, because he know that once they saw his ugly interior they would leave that once they saw his ugly mind they would want nothing to do with him. So learned to never show affection in a relationship the only "affection" he would show was more inappropriate.

In friendships, he didn't dare show affection either, his friends weren't very affectionate either, all they ever did was smoke and go to parties. There was never a time where they would sit down and talk, there was never one time when they would ask how he was and he wouldn't do the same. They all didn't give a single fuck.

But somedays, he wished cared. He wished that he could actually tell how he feels, he wished that he could show affection in non-sexual ways. But that was a rarity nowadays.

He took a deep sigh before getting rid of the blunt and going inside.

-

a/n:

THANK YOU ALL SO SO SO MUCH FOR 2K ILYSM I APPRECIATE YOU GUYS, I THANK U FOR ALWAYS SUPPORTING ME, AND DEALING WITH MY HORRIBLE UPDATING SKILLS.

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