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zachsangshow: Stella Russel opens up about social anxiety, social media, her current and past relationships, mental health and miscarriages. New album on the way, Full interview is up!

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user35885: Miscarriage???????

user36875: Wait what?

user57875: This interview is about to trigger my fight or flight

user25774: She's just playing the victim as always

user25785: Why can't ppl leave her alone??

user25885: I love her sm

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"Hello beautiful human, today we're here with a special guest who is here for the first time Stella Russell and by the way released her debut album in February, you all need to check it" Zach said starting the interview "I'm Zach, this Dan and Stella Russell or Estella is it?"

"Hi! I prefer Stella" Stella appeared on the screen "Thank you for having me"

"The pleasure is ours, how are you doing?"

"I'm great, I will finally get to see my boyfriend and my brother next week and I just finished touring which was amazing" Stella said with a bright smile

"This your first time here with us today" Zach said "Which is incredible"

"Thank you, it's nice to be in a podcast, I mean I've done interviews before but this is actually my first time in an actual podcast" Stella revealed with a chuckle

"That's great, we're honoured. So, Stella I've listened to your album which is great" Zach told her and she placed her hand over her heart

"Aww, that means a lot, really. Thank you for saying that"

"Yeah, so I've seen an interview of you where you said that this album and the date release was so special to you?" Zach questioned and she nodded

"Yeah, this is my debut album, I mean as long as I remember I've been writing songs and... I mean there's also minor but this is what it feels like is an album I wrote based on what I was actually feeling at that time" Stella explained "So it feels like, very personal and you know, just me... and sharing it with people made me feel somehow different, in a good way"

"So please explain to me, Stella your album is quite beautiful but in a sad way, so that's what you were feeling at the time?" Zach asked curiously "Sad?"

"More like helpless" she corrected with a chuckle "You could say that 2020 and 2021 were my darkest times when... I- I was just not me. I struggled a lot, I was going through a tough break up and writing blocks. I was simply incapable of moving on"

"I'm sorry if this is a personal question and you don't have to answer it, did you or did you not date the Chelsea player Mason Mount?" Zach inquired and Stella bit her lower lip briefly

She had discussed the interview before with Mason and asked for his permission to talk about their miscarriage and he was totally okay with it, in fact felt somewhat relieved about it

"Yes, we dated for almost three years" Stella answered with a nod "I think that the people who follows me or him at that time already knew, like even when we never spoke about it or just confirmed the rumours, it was true but also I want people to respect pur privacy, Mason and I both moved on, we're with other people and we're happy"

"You once mentioned that privacy is important to you, yet you post about your current relationship"

"Okay, yeah I was against it at first, actually" Stella said with a small smile "We don't post much, though. Like there's four to five posts max"

"Wait really? You were against dating publicly?"

"Yeah, I really was, like my private life is so important to me and my boyfriend has way more followers than I do which scared me at first... I think I was insecure and scared. At some point, I was aware of what I walked into and when Charles and I spoke about it, he said that he respects my decision" Stella revealed "The paparazzi just like freaks me out and before he and I even dated, the attack began"

"Yeah because I noticed that your boyfriend has always been open about his past relationships but you two like make sure to not post much" Zach observed

"Like I said, even when we made our relationship public, our love is for only us, like no one knows what happens behind closed doors and that exactly how we want it" Stella said with a frown "You know my past relationships- well only real relationship before this one wasn't as hard because we were both trying to write our names in our careers, he wasn't as famous as he is now and I definitely didn't have the two millions followers that I have now"

"Do you look at things differently now, in different perspective after writing your album or during it?" Zach asked and she nodded

"Listen, I have this thing where I get over things by turning the feeling into a song" she chuckled tugging her hair behind her ear "And Aaron Dessner noticed that, so whenever when we're writing a song, he'd be like just write whatever you feel, go ahead. Just do it and when I do that, I feel relaxed and relieved"

"How did the attack you received from dating Charles Leclerc affected your mental health?"

"Okay, it was like really bad, it still is sometimes. I mean, before I dated him and see someone complain about how hard the media is, I'd be like 'But why can't they just ignore it?' But that's not how it works" Stella said shaking her head in denial "It's harder than that, no one is gonna really understand that feeling until they get to actually experience it. First, comments then tweets, edits and then rumors that are turned into articles"

"Sometimes I'd be scrolling through instagram or tiktok and there's edits of me and him, some of them are really cute, some are funny and well some are just mean... like the first one that really got to me was uh- They said that I will cost him the championship, I mean Charles is a talented driver, like he has the potential to win the championship, so instead of focusing on who's he dating, maybe they should focus on the strategy of his team. What do I have to do with that?"

"Exactly" Zach agreed "Tell me do you write the song when you're currently feeling those kind of emotions or after?"

"Depends on what I'm feeling because... actually the only song in the album that I wrote like instantly while dealing with heartbreak was painkillers" Stella said with a small smile

"That song tore me apart. Is that what you really felt?"

"Yes, definitely. By the way I wrote that all by myself which I'm really proud of... You don't know that you and that person were codependent until someday you wake up and he or she isn't there, you know? You feel like your world is somehow ending, everything reminds you of them and your time together" Stella explained "And that messes you up, you don't know who to blame anymore, was it you? Was it them? It's awful"

"What caught my attention is camden, could you please talk about it?" Dan asked her and she nodded with a smile

"Sure, Camden was the first one I've written actually... this is the first time I'll talk about this ever on the internet because like I said privacy means so much to me but I had a miscarriage during the lockdown" she revealed and Zach looked taken back "It was obviously one of the darkest times of my life and Camden just really explains that I was trying to cope with the pain even though it felt impossible... It was hard to even picture a future, you know?"

"Wow, you had a miscarriage, I'm so sorry to hear about that" Zach sincerely said and she nodded with a tight lipped smile "I assume that affected your mental health and relationship"

"Yeah, it did affect my mental health but... at the time my ex and I couldn't handle the distance because he was in England, I was in New York. We were both trying to cope with our loss, so it was better for us to separate and I'm so sorry to everyone who went through that, by the way" she stated "And like I said it was a bit hard to wake up and realize that you and that person who was once your everything are not speaking anymore"

"Especially that you had everything planned out for the future and... you once broke up and got back together, so you just sometimes lie awake waiting for their call" she said with a small smile "But one day you'll realize that it was real this time, that you'll never gonna get that call, so you have to move on... and falling out of love is damn hard, I mean the guilt is crashing and unbearable... There's a voice in your head that keep saying try harder"

"But how did you really deal with the miscarriage at the time?" Dan questioned curiously

"I think for months I was feeling guilty, like I could've done better, I should've told my partner at the time that I wasn't feeling okay and you know, there was a lot of what ifs and he was really amazing with me even when he was struggling too... after like six months I told my best friends but I couldn't tell my family because they didn't even know that I was pregnant, except for my sister Cara" she said with a sad smile "Therapy helped a lot, so did writing my feelings down. I guess that was my way of coping, just writing... and you don't realize how far you've gone until you've gone too far"

"I'm just curious about something you mentioned earlier about being attacked on the internet" Dan began with a frown and she nodded "How was it feel like all of sudden people are just being mean to you even though you didn't do anything?"

"The backlash was awful, as I mentioned before I can take criticism about what I do and my music, not everyone is going to like it and that's totally okay, everyone has their own opinions but being attacked for... I don't know how to put it into words but being attacked for dating someone is pathetic, I mean you don't know me to call me a bad person or slut shame me or call me a home wrecker" Stella stated with a sigh "It's frustrating and I was so tempted to just hand my social media to my manager and fucking disappear but I'm not gonna condemn my fans and people who support me for someone who talks for nothing"

"And especially that I am in a really good place right now, I am in love with my best friend, we're happy and I'm not gonna let the internet ruin that for us" she finished with a smile and they nodded in agreement

"I mean dating an F1 driver is extremely hard when you yourself isn't around much, how do you deal with the distance?" Zach questioned with a frown and she chuckled nervously

"There's like at least five articles about us breaking up" she chuckled softly "The first one I think was in February before Valentines day, the second one in march, I think and the third one maybe before or after the Australian grand prix. Maybe because I spent Easter at my parents and there's one that said I was spotted with my ex boyfriend multiple times which is a lie by the way"

"Damn, that's bad"

"And to answer your question. Our relationship was questioned multiple times, I distance myself when I'm hurt or stressed and same with him so... there's time when I was a hundred percent sure that we'd be over but he we are. It's hard to love someone and and it's even more harder to keep fighting but when you love someone... We just trust each other a lot, we respect each other so that's all we both need. Whenever I have a free time I immediately leave everything to see him and vise versa"

"Is it true that you're working on a new album?" Zach asked and she nodded with a small smile "Is it about love?"

"Okay, I know that many of my fans are expecting love songs and one day Im sure I'll be there, you know comfortable enough to write a whole album dedicated to my love life but for now, I can't promise you anything" she said with a small chuckle "Don't get me wrong, I tried so hard but I just can't force things and yes, my next album is almost done"

"I'm sure your next album will be mind blowing" Zach told her excitedly and she chuckled

"Thank you for saying that"

"I just don't get who will break her heart" Dan joked with a bright smile and she laughed

"I don't know, someone who wants a song written about him?" She asked with a chuckle

"I'm just curious about something, isn't hard that both your brother and boyfriend are rivals in formula one?" Dan asked curiously and she chuckled

"Listen, I'm always gonna be my brother's biggest fan. He is my everything and I've watched him become the man he is today and I'm very proud of him" she stated with a soft smile "I know people expect me to take sides but I won't, I'm proud of both of my boys and I will support them, when they're happy I'm happy. When they're frustrated, I'm frustrated"

"Just between us, who is the best driver you or your boyfriend?" Zach asked jokingly and she laughed

"As in normal driving? Most definitely me, my boyfriend can't even park like a normal person"

"Stella Russell, thank you for doing this even though you have so much going on with your next album" Zach told her gratefully and she smiled

"No, thank you for inviting me to rant" she said making Zach and Dan laugh "It's really great to be here"

"I hope we see each other again" Dan told her and she winked at him

"Oh, really?" She teased with a smirk

"Yeah, just dump the Ferrari guy and we'll be seeing each other a lot"

"Tempting but no" she said with a shrug as they laughed

"Thank you for your time" Zach said with a smile and she smiled back