☾︎✯☽︎

☾︎✯☽︎

I stared at the ceiling with my hand behind my head as I lay in bed naked with Lisa fast asleep beside me. Despite being exhausted from our little session not too long ago, I couldn't get a wink of sleep. My mind was too occupied with processing what had happened.

Once again, I broke and violated one of my rules and crossed a boundary I promised I wouldn't cross.

Was it dumb?

Yes, it was.

Did I regret it?

I honestly didn't have an answer to it because I wasn't sure what to feel about it. I wasn't going to deny that I was attracted to Lisa and from the looks of it, she also felt the same attraction I had towards her, but I knew that there wasn't anything beyond that attraction, at least I think so. It was too early to tell since we both didn't know what we (myself especially) didn't know what we wanted from this relationship and each other or what it was going to mean for the both of us going forward.

But one thing I knew for certain was that my relationship with Lisa was not going back to normal. There was no way I was going to pretend that nothing ever happened between us. I can certainly put on an act to have people believe that nothing was going on between us, but deep down, in my mind, it wasn't going to be easy forgetting let alone erasing our intimacy from my head. It wasn't going to be easy to push the thought at the back of my head because the memories and feelings still felt fresh in my head.

The way her eyes burned with lust and desire, the way her soft and sweet lips felt against my own, the way her body moved and squirmed as she mimicked my strokes.

My God, the way she screamed and moaned my name as I screwed her senseless in her bed. Most of the women I slept with never said let alone moaned my name during sex (mainly because I avoided giving my name to them to keep my distance). I never really saw the appeal of doing so nor cared for it. But something about hearing my name coming from Lisa's lips just felt right. I don't why, it just did.

And if I was going, to be honest with myself, I would do it again with Lisa if I was given the opportunity, just so I could relive the experience and feeling over and over again so I could be sure that it wasn't just a wet dream. And that's what worried me. 

I turned to the girl who lay asleep next to me. She didn't seem like she was waking up anytime soon. Without waking her up, I slowly and carefully got out of bed and started collecting my scattered clothes from the floor so I could take my leave quietly.

"Leaving already?"

My head quickly snapped towards the bed where I found Lisa lying on her side, already awake.

So much for leaving quietly.

"Yeah," I answered as I put on my boxers and my jeans in one go.

She sat up straight and covered her bare chest with her blanket. "You could have waited until morning," she said in a hoarse voice.

"Won't your floormates find it weird seeing a guy leaving their residence block?" I arched an eyebrow.

"Psh! Don't worry about it," she waved her hand. "You're not the first or last guy who has ever entered this building or any female residence building. Plus, the RA doesn't care as long as we don't make noise and play it safe. She's heard and seen a lot worse."

I chuckled at her comment. "Really, it's fine. I wasn't planning on staying long anyway."

"Why?"

"I choose to avoid staying with the women I sleep with it." I blurted out before I could stop myself.

Oliver, you idiot! I quickly looked at Lisa so I could gauge her reaction to my words. Aside from her lips being pressed together, her eyes avoiding mine and the slow nod, she didn't give much of a reaction. I wasn't sure if she was genuinely nonchalant about what I said or was putting on a mask to hide what she really felt about what I said.

But either way, I knew that I fucked up big time.

"What I mean is—"

"You don't have to explain yourself, Ollie," she cut me off with a tight smile. "I get it."

Yep, you darn fucked up big time. I sighed and slumped my shoulders, feeling helpless.

After that, it was just silence. No words were exchanged after. Lisa just watched me put on my clothes and gather the rest of my stuff. I made my way to the door so I could leave but stopped dead in my tracks. I couldn't leave. Not like this.

It was so easy to move on and forget about the women I slept with because I had no reason to care about them since I was going to cut them out of my life completely with no plans of ever meeting them again. But for some reason, I couldn't do that to Lisa. It didn't feel right or fair to do that to her. Just thought of treating her like every other woman I'd fucked just didn't sit right with me and weighed heavy on my conscience.

So, I walked back to her. She watched me with eyebrows furrowed with confusion but eyes twinkling with curiosity. I cupped her face as I leaned down and kissed her left temple, allowing the cocoa smell of her hair to fill up my nostrils. When I pulled away, her eyes widened, and her cheeks were tinted pink.

Cute, I thought with a smile.

I moved away from her and returned to the door. As I opened it, I looked back at her with a small smile tugging my lips.

"I'll see you around," I said before I left.

☾︎<----------------------------->☽︎