Having a particularly negative experience the last time they were in Italy, Tilly was hopeful that this time would be different. For starters, she wasn't sleeping with Kendall; except for that one Molly induced marathon after his birthday. Once she had finally left the next day and ventured home for a several hour long come down nap, she received a call from the youngest Roy brother. Firstly, asking if she would attend his mother's wedding with him and secondly wanting to relieve himself of his erection with phone sex.

That was when she swore to herself that that morning would be the last time she ever slept with Kendall.

Tilly flew to Tuscany with Roman, Greg, Tom and Siobhan three days earlier than the rest of the family, wanting to rid themselves of the inevitable jet lag before the wedding festivities began. Connor and Willa messaged saying that they would have to fly in last minute after being 'caught up with presidential things' and Kendall hadn't yet responded to anyone. None of them knew if he was even attending or not but since it was only a few days out from the big day, they assumed he wasn't. Caroline had kindly arranged for the family to stay together in one of the larger villas on the property too, which they had settled into well.

Lying on her stomach sprawled along a plush sun lounger, Tilly held her hand above her phone to shelter its screen from the suns glare. "God, DeuxMoi already has an Instagram highlight purely dedicated to submissions from Kendall's party..."

"Ooh, did any of us make it on there?" Greg asked eagerly, resting his forearms on the edge of the pool with his lanky body floating along the surface behind him.

"Why would you want to be on there? It's a gossip ridden trash can set on fire," Tom scoffed, barely raising his head from his book as he lounged next to Tilly in his 'new' Camilla swim shorts. They had been gifted to him from Willa and placed in the back of his wardrobe for months; reluctant to wear them due to the bold statement prints. It wasn't until he was recently complimented by a Spanish supermodel in Ibiza that they became his signature 'Euro summer trunks'.

Tilly tapped through the seemingly endless story to find submissions that were worthy of reading aloud, "Eh, it's all pretty standard shit so far... Apparently a 'well known director' had a stain on their pants that looked like they jizzed themselves... Peter Dinklage and Timothee Chalamet were seen smoking what appeared to be a joint together... Alec Baldwin appeared to be rude to staff when asked to take off his jacket on arrival..."

"Fuck that guy is such a piece of work," Connor huffed, seemingly appearing out of nowhere as he walked past them freshly showered. He spat his words out as though his frustration came from a personal grievance against the actor. Matilda chuckled quietly to herself; it was equally as rich coming from the man who also refused to take off his jacket at the party.

"Ooh, ooh, ooh! Here's one, someone messaged saying 'Siobhan Roy was drunk AF whilst tearing it up barefoot on the dance floor and let me tell you sista has a booty' with the word booty in capitals and then the like, two little eyes emoji," She chuckled.

Overhearing their conversation and having her ears prick up at the sound of her name, Shiv scoffed as she splashed orange juice into her champagne glass. "It was a fucking party, who cares if I was drunk and having a bit of fun."

"Exactly. It was a party. Nobody wants to have to see your horrible dancing when they're just trying to have a good night," Roman scoffed from the pool.

"Shiv, Honey? It's 11am," Tom said politely with a chuckle as she sat down next to him and Tilly.

"We're on vacation Tom. Besides, it's a mimo- Oh shit... Did anyone else know about this or are we only just seeing it now?" Shiv asked in shock, pointing towards Willa who had appeared from inside the villa.

Tilly sat up and looked over at her, seeing the floral dress stretched thinly over her substantially larger belly, "Oh my god!"

"Know what?" Roman asked as he climbed out of the pool and pushed his wet hair off of his forehead.

"Willa is obviously fucking pregnant, and they didn't tell any of us," Shiv huffed.

Connor sighed, "Damn it, we were hoping it wouldn't be too obvious..."

"It's pretty fucking obvious Con, it's not like you can pass that off as eating a big lunch," Shiv chortled.

"People say you shouldn't break the news unless you're past the 12 week mark, but we wanted to wait until we were half way into the second trimester," Willa said bashfully.

Roman pulled the rolled up towel from underneath Matilda's legs and threw it around his shoulders to dry off. After he pouted and seemingly waited for her to read his mind, she moved over on the large day bed so he that he could sit next to her.

"I couldn't tell at all until it was pointed it out but yeah, your tits are looking bigger." Roman said slowly tilting his head to the side. Tilly hit his chest as a way to remind him to reel in his remarks around his brother, though he took it one step further, "I should get you pregnant so your tits get bigger Til."

"You'd have to fuck me to do that," she said smugly before Roman elbowed her in the ribs.

"Wait... Are you two...?" Connor trailed, receiving silence from both Matilda and Roman. It was their lack in response that insinuated more than what words could, making Connor smile to himself.

"How could you guys even tell? I mean, is it obvious? Am I supposed to be seeing something obvious?" Greg mumbled from the inflatable pool toy he was floating on, squinting his eyes a little as he focused on staring at her across the property. Tilly was unsure whether he looking at her breasts like Roman or her belly like the rest of the group. Regardless, he was still oblivious.

Feeling insecure and heavily gazed upon, Willa excused herself to go back to her room. Similarly Connor, who had anticipated a more cheerful and congratulatory reaction from his beloved family, stood up to join her.

"Wait Con... I thought you two couldn't have kids," Roman asked cocking his head to the side.

"What? What gave you that impression?"

"I just thought you would be shooting blanks in your old age. Like dust clouds of powdered cum left in your shrivelled up balls."

"Semen isn't even produced there but thanks for that lovely image Rome," His eldest brother sighed before walking off.

"And thank you for the biology lesson," Roman called out sarcastically.

Still lying on the sun bed next to her, he tapped his hand gently against his chest. It wasn't pushy, nor was it aggressive, it was just his way of silently inviting. Tilly smiled softly and moved closer to snuggle against his side, Roman quick to curl his arm around her. It was a relatively public display of affection for the two of them - especially in front of his family members who up until now, had assumed they were just friends with strange sexual tension.

"You all good?" He asked gently, resting his hand on her thigh and stroking it with his thumb whilst looking out at the Tuscan hills. It was delicate, a rare moment of normalcy between them both that neither of them had experienced very often. "Yeah, are you?"

Nodding softly, Roman turned back to face Tilly. He smiled in a moment that stemmed from pure admiration, taking in her beauty and memorising every freckle and every hair. It was so abnormal for Roman to feel like this. But he liked it. He liked it so much that he softly pressed his lips to hers with a restrained smile; trying not to show his true colours.

"You know, I kind of don't hate this," he chuckled.

"Don't hate what?"

"This. The whole like, being in Italy with you. I actually feel relaxed for once. Maybe it's because Kendall and Dad haven't turned up and they're the bane of my existence but mostly because you're here. You're lucky you're hearing me say something disgusting like that but... I dunno it's kind of nice," he said slowly, as if he were searching for the right words to say.

"Was that a rare Roman Roy compliment I just received? I'm honoured," she laughed, looking up at him before kissing him again.

Wading in the pool with his inhumanly long limbs looking even more lanky underwater, Greg almost choked on his own saliva when he saw Tilly kissing Roman. "Woah... What? What am I watching here?"

"God, seeing Roman kiss another human being is like a witnessing a car crash... It's horrific to think about in theory but when it actually happens you're mesmerised and can't look away," Tom muttered.

"For some reason I always pictured him being a sloppy kisser but he looks pretty normal," Greg said quietly.

"Always? You picture that in your head a lot Greg? You just go about your days always imagining your male cousins kiss?"

"W-What? No. I mean- Never mind... I thought she was with Kendall anyway," Greg responded flustered.

"Greg, you really need to start sleeping around more. This is what single people do. Your lacklustre sex life just proves how naive your views are and quite frankly it makes me feel sad for your miserable desolate dick," Tom scoffed.

Greg and Tom eventually got out of the pool and sat in the nearby rose garden to dry off a little before heading inside to get ready. This was after being reprimanded by Shiv to not tread chlorinated water inside their lavish accommodation. Albeit being consumed in their own little world, Roman and Tilly pulled away from each other when they heard the two men call out to a voice belonging to none other than Kendall.

Fuck. He had decided to attend.

He looked worn down and disheveled, sporting a fresh buzzcut with dark sunglasses masquerading his eyes. He was mid way through a cigarette and he had the same limited edition Rashid Johnson necklace on that he bought specifically for his birthday. Tilly quietly thought it was ugly and couldn't imagine spending $5 on it let alone the actual price of $15,000.

"Tilly! I uh, I didn't know you were coming to the- To Mom's wedding... A-Are you, here with Rome?" Kendall asked, directing his gaze ever so slightly towards Roman and clearing his throat.

"You snooze, you lose Kenny boy," Roman grinned from the inflatable pool toy he was once again floating on, this time with his sunglasses perched on the bridge of his nose and a drink in his hand. How he had managed to get there so quickly was beyond her but she was just thankful Kendall was seeing his brother lying on a floatie rather than under her.

"I'm only using him for his money, status and the free trips to Italy," Tilly joked.

"And I'm using you for sex, drugs and rock and roll," he added, blowing her an overly sarcastic and wildly exaggerated kiss.

Money wasn't an allure for Tilly whatsoever. She had never felt attraction towards either Roman or Kendall based on their generational wealth or their notoriety - she just liked them for them. Roman knew that. He knew that she wasn't just hanging around them for superficial reasons. He could feel it.

"We didn't think you were coming..."

"Oh uh yeah, I had to handle some stuff with Rava so I wasn't sure if we would make it. The wedding's not today right?"

Tilly shook her head, confirming that he had arrived in time for Caroline and Peter's bachelor and bachelorette parties that night, not the actual wedding. Kendall had lost all concept of time as of late, his days blinding into one as he sacrificed sleep for work. He knew that the wedding was on the Thursday but he hadn't the slightest idea what day it was currently. The metal clang of the villa gate shutting caught their attention, with a tall brunette woman appearing from around the corner holding two children's suitcases.

"Shit- Those uh, those are my kids... Sophie and Iverson," Kendall interjected.

Tilly had never seen Kendall's kids. Not in person, nor in photos. She had only heard about the two children. In fact, she had heard very little about them at all. Surprising her firstly were their ages, they both appeared younger ham she had always imagined. Secondly was that his daughter looked extremely different to him. Matilda hadn't met Rava though, so perhaps she thought Rava could be a woman of colour too.

"How old are they?" She asked.

"Yeah Ken, how old are they?" Roman repeated smugly, knowing that such a simple question for any other parent, could potentially be more difficult for his brother.

"Iverson just turned five and Soph, she's uh... Seven... Yeah, she's seven now..."

He climbed out of the pool dripping all over the stone pavers surrounding the area. He didn't care much for asking his brother to step aside so that he could retrieve his towel from the lounge Tilly was sitting on, he simply pushed past him creating a damp smear on Kendall's shirt.

"You might want to fact check that with them, I wouldn't trust anything he says," Roman taunted before leaving a nonchalant kiss on the top of her head and announcing to them both that he was going to get ready inside.

Kendall and Tilly remained silent as they watched Roman waltz inside with the towel slung around his shoulders and his body still slick with water. Shiv would kill him if she saw how much water he was about to walk through the villa. But it was Roman. Roman didn't care.

"So... You and little Romulus huh? I mean yeah, he's a fucking moron but if you're into that then sure, go for it... Hope you have fun never having sex again," Kendall prodded, leaning down to pick up Tilly's drink and taking a swig.

"Fuck off, you know he struggles with the whole sex thing," she huffed playfully.

Kendall laughs, "Which is why I find it so weird that you're willing to give it all up for him... I mean, you're kind of a sexual deviant Matilda."

"That's such bullshit, I have sex just as much as anyone else. Besides, who said anything about me having to give up sex completely?"

"So he's fucking you," Kendall asked rhetorically, knowing that Roman wouldn't have been able to keep his mouth shut if he actually had slept with her.

"No, but it's a work in progress. And who cares, we're not dating or anything. We're just friends who fool around sometimes," she shrugged, standing up and adjusting the shoulder strap of her bikini.

"You and I are friends who fool around sometimes," Ken added smugly, not hiding the blatant fact he had looked her body up and down with a sly smirk.

"Your point?"

"I'm just saying Til, if I was going to invest my time and energy into fucking around with someone, I'd actually want to be fucking them."

* * *

Greg had gotten a reputation for himself amongst the family for arriving to things ridiculously early. Whether it was out of the fear and anxiety of being late, they didn't know, but whenever it came to events, Greg was always just there. He'd gotten ready for the night faster than anyone else in the villa so he sat idly on his bed in his suit and dress shoes for almost forty minutes before emerging outside.

"Who are you trying to impress tonight Gregory? You really took your time in there," Tom teased, making fun of the fact Greg was the last of the men to be ready.

He wasn't. He was just hiding in his room.

Roman was sitting next to his nephew watching him play a game on the iPad in his tiny hands. "No- You gotta aim it higher, then you'll- I'll do it, just give me the thing."

Insisting that he would easily be able to complete the level Iverson was stuck on, he leant over and swiped a few times on the iPad. "See? Fucking crushed it."

Roman had an uncanny knack for video games. He didn't own a console nor did he play them very often without the company of children, but he was always skilled in them.

"Roman, bro. Don't swear in front of my son," Kendall threatened from the other side of the pool, walking quickly to find his daughter and hurry her up.

"Swearing should be the least of your concerns with the shit you've exposed them to in their lives," Roman sneered back.

Kendall shot him a menacing glare.

"Sorry, stuff you've exposed them to," he corrected himself, assuming that Kendall's glare was in response to his cuss word and not the ice cold dagger of an insult he had plunged into his brothers chest.

On his way to find his daughter and hurry her along, Kendall was confused to see her and Iversons room completely empty once he got there. It wasn't until he heard a high pitched giggle coming from a room down the hall that he realised where she had snuck off to. The faint bass line to an old Frank Ocean song echoed from Tilly's room and as he reached the door he leant against it quietly watching.

Watching the grin on his daughter's face as Matilda sat behind her on the bed and curled the girls hair. Pure happiness. Watching Sophie swipe random makeup brushes against her face in the mirror and saying that she wanted to be 'matching' with Tilly. Watching Tilly smile back, and offering to give her some "sparkles" after her hair was done.

"Ooh sparkles sound pretty Soph," Kendall said from the doorway, alerting the girls of his presence.

"Fu- Far out Ken, you scared me," Tilly said with a breathy laugh as she held her palm against her chest, her heart having skipped a beat when she heard his voice from nowhere. She was happy she caught herself from saying the word fuck in front of the girl, though she knew she would have heard much worse in this family.

"She's almost ready to go. Soph, wanna give your Dad a twirl?" Tilly said with a chuckle before setting down the hair dryer and gently brushing out Sophie's hair with her fingers.

"Wow, you look beautiful princess. Now come on, we have to make sure you and Iverson get to see Grandma before Grandma gets too drunk and signs away her life rights to this Onion guy..." Kendall said with a grin.

"Wait Daddy, I need sparkles!" Sophie exclaimed dramatically as though she had forgotten something so important that she could have burst into flames right there on the spot.

"Oh, I almost forgot!" Tilly said matching her dramatic tone, taking out a small shimmer compact from her makeup bag and telling Sophie to close her eyes.

"Did you say thank you to Tilly?" Kendall asked.

"Thank you Tilly."

"Good girl. Why don't you go and show Aunty Shivy how pretty you look?" Kendall suggested, planting a quick kiss on the top of his daughter's head before she skipped past him. "Thanks for doing that, she would have fucking, loved all this with you. I'm not that uh, good at the girly stuff, obviously. It's kind of Rava's remit."

"She wandered in here with her hair all wet from the shower and asked me if I could brush it for her. And once I had the hair dryer out I figured we could curl it," Tilly shrugged.

"Well thank you. And you look stunning as always, might I add. Though you could be wearing a trash bag and still I'd want to tear it off you," he said smoothly, watching as Matilda sat on the end of her bed with her heels and began to tighten the small straps around her ankles.

"Kendall..." she said with a warning tone. "I told you after your birthday that that was the last time."

"Oh come on Tilly. You can't deny that both of us have great fucking sex together," he chuckled, leaning against the door frame of the bedroom he was only now realising she was sharing with Roman.

"I'm not denying anything. I just-"

"Weren't you the one telling me that nobody has ever made you cum as many times as I have?" He interrupted.

Tilly sighed. He wasn't wrong. "This isn't about the sex Ken. It's about me juggling two of you and it being fucked up because you're brothers."

"Wanting to be with Roman in the first place is what's really fucked up here. Being fucked up is like, his whole brand. Always has been, always will be. And besides, he knows you fuck people that aren't him. And he's fine with it, isn't he?"

"He probably wouldn't be if it was his own brother," she protested, swiftly sliding past him as he made no effort to step out of the doorway.

Her heels clicked against the stone tile of the large sprawling villa the family were staying in together. She always felt powerful when she heard that sound, like the ultimate femme fatale strutting her way through life. She hated wearing heels, but whenever she did she felt hot. And she was, so who could blame her?

"Oh, so I'm your dirty little secret?" Kendall cooed behind her smugly, obviously finding amusement in the situation.

"Fuck off Ken, I mean it. No more sex," she said without turning around.

"Fine. But we should at least get to fuck each other one more time to say goodbye. For closure, y'know," he chuckled, speaking carelessly as though his family weren't all sitting across the patio. They wouldn't be able to hear but the principle behind speaking about such things in their presence was the questionable part.

"This isn't a negotiation Kendall," she laughed in defeat, fearing that the more he wore her down, the more likely she was to crack.

"If it's not a negotiation then why are we still talking about it huh?"

* * *

"Can we just get one photo like a normal family?" Shiv complained; frustrated that the act of taking a simple family photo was so difficult for the Roy's.

"Normal? You must have us confused for another family... You know, the ones that aren't riddled with torturous years of abuse and neglect," he remarked, not unaware of his mother's presence in the group. She just shook her head and laughed, dismissing all responsibility for her children's trauma.

It was Logan's fault in her eyes.

"Rome," Tilly pleaded, wriggling away from his grasp; latched onto her like a sloth.

"Fine, I'll be fucking normal..." he sighed dramatically before straightening his posture and forcing a smile. "You look fucking hot in this by the way," Roman murmured in her ear, conscious to not let his family hear him before his hand smacked against her ass and grabbed it quickly. Tom did however, turn his head towards them when he heard the slap sound next to him.

"Sorry! Just one more, the gentleman in the back just moved," The photographer called out, receiving a few more groans from the group and accusations as to who ruined the photo being taken this time.

Tom was quick to push the blame onto Greg standing next to him, successfully dodging the insults being hurled in their direction.

"Keep your hands to yourself kids," Tom said through gritted teeth, barely moving his lips as he smiled for the camera again.

"Don't ruin another photo Wambsgans," Tilly muttered quietly under her breath before the photographer gave them the all clear that they got the shot.

You'd have thought the Roy family all hated each other by the speed in which they separated after the photo was taken. Perhaps they really did. Kendall was quick to disappear for a cigarette and pass the responsibility of his kids back over to his nanny. Shiv and Tom darted away to socialise with other guests and Greg found himself with Kendall's assistant Comfrey by no coincidence.

"And then there were two, huh?" Greg says in her general direction, trying to act nonchalant and suave about the fact he had beelined out of the photo to stand near her.

Comfrey glanced up from her phone and snapped out of her daze, "Sorry, did you say something?"

"What? Did I say something? No, no I uh- I was just saying like- It was dumb don't worry," he stuttered.

"Okay," she said with a polite smile before excusing herself to find Kendall on a work related note.

Roman and Tilly had stayed on the marble balcony they had taken photos on. Roman had his back leaning against the edge as he watched the debauchery of his mother's wedding event around him. Tilly was facing the opposite way, looking out at the picturesque vineyards that seemed to go for as long as the eye could see.

"Have you eaten anything today?" She asked turning around and finishing the last sip of her drink.

"I ate before we left," Roman shrugged off, adjusting his sunglasses on the bridge of his nose. It was the late afternoon so the sun was still out and beaming down on the guests, though it was a softer, less intense heat than it was earlier in the day. It was balmy. It was Not too humid, not too sticky. It was warm, with a gentle breeze here and there. Enough to cool you down but not enough to blow anyone's hair out of place.

"The strawberry on the rim of your champagne glass doesn't count."

Roman made a lewd comment in return, asking about the nutritional value of eating pussy causing Tilly to choke on her drink. This made him burst into laughter, which in turn made Tilly laugh (and choke) even more as she saw Caroline approach them from across the gardens.

She called out to her fiancée who was busy chatting with other guests, "Darling? Peter? Come and meet my son Roman and his..."

"Matilda," she coughed out, politely covering her nose and mouth with her hand; conscious that at any moment she could have stray dribbles of champagne escaping from either orifice.

"Roman and his Matilda," Caroline repeated to her fiancée.

Peter was busy mingling with the plethora of other guests that he mouthed 'sorry' and held up his finger apologetically as if to say 'give me a minute'. It wasn't particularly the best impression to Roman.

"Oh, I know you... You were Kendall's date at Siobhan's wedding..."

"Wow you've got a good memory. I was yes, but it was super platonic. We just went together as friends," Tilly shrugged off.

"And now you're here with Roman," she added.

"Great observation Mom. Glad to know you've still got 20/20 vision in your old age. I wonder if I'll inherit that as well as your emotional ineptitude," He taunted.

"Shush you... Well? Is this a platonic wedding date as well?"

"I think we're um... We're-"

"Leaving. Bye Mummy!" Roman said in a fake British accent, quickly pulling Tilly away from Caroline and dragging her along with him.

"Your Mum is just as terrifying as your Dad," she said with a light laugh, trying to decipher whether or not that interaction with Caroline was a positive or negative thing.

"She must like you, normally she makes women turn to stone when she makes eye contact with them for that long," Roman taunted. "Or she's finally met her match and wants to rip you in half... I didn't mind the sound of that though... Roman and his Matilda," he chuckled, outstretching his arm to put around her as they walked towards the large crowd socialising in the garden. His hand rested against her hip as they walked, taking advantage of the slippery satin material to slide it down quickly and sneak in a quick squeeze.

Without thinking, Tilly elbowed him and turned around quickly to see if anyone had seen him. There were photographers everywhere yes, but they were the least of her concerns. The main thing she wanted to avoid was having details of her personal life circulating the rumour mills and gossipers. Second to that, was avoiding the media cycle.

Roman had an uncanny knack for being able to appear sober far longer than majority of people. He'd learnt his poker face from two of the best in the business; his parents. He'd watched Logan's unfaltering glare in business meetings with barely a lift of an eyebrow to express his emotions. And Caroline, well, Roman had grown up watching her time after time elegantly floating around a party looking like the patron saint of sobriety.

It wasn't often that Tilly noticed that Roman was drunk, but she knew that whenever he let a stray compliment slip or a rare moment of affection show, he was feeling the alcohol's effects. It simply created small intoxicated cracks in the wall he guarded himself with.

* * *

Caroline's 'bachelorette party' wasn't particularly the most fun thing to be at tonight. She hadn't planned it herself, nor had she really wanted one in the first place but Peter's daughters had insisted. They were quite possibly the most annoying women Matilda had met, which said a lot because she wasn't unfamiliar with social climbers and leeches being around. After Shiv was convinced one of the sisters had tried to export her contact book whilst 'taking a photo', she clung to Tilly for salvation.

Shiv was desperate to leave early but feared that it would give her mother yet another thing to hang over her head and guilt her with. That's when Tilly came up with her (drunken) master plan. She told Shiv to tell Caroline that she was going to take Tilly back to the villa because of food poisoning and then meet her on the rooftop balcony.

"Mission accomplished?" Tilly asked as she appeared at the base of the stone stairs Shiv was instructed to wait at.

"She sends her love and hopes you get better before the wedding," Shiv said with an overly sarcastic tone and devilish smile.

Tilly was quite drunk, revealing the two wine glasses and whole bottle of red wine she had hidden behind her back whilst shimmying her shoulders at Shiv in a celebratory dance, "Let the real night begin baby!"

"Oh you're a fucking genius!" Shiv laughed, reaching her arm out to take the wine bottle from Tilly's hand and inspect it. It wasn't in a pretentious 'what type of wine is this' way, it was more in a 'is this corked or screw topped' way.

"Nice choice," she said as she glanced at the label.

"I didn't even look to be honest. I just saw it and ran," Tilly admitted, having taken the bottle from behind the bar of the establishment they were in and hidden it underneath the large statement balloon sleeves of her dress.

"You just took it?" Shiv asked with a small smile. Tilly became worried that Shiv was judging her. Of course she wasn't someone who morally believed in stealing, but being drunk in Tuscany and craving a proper girls night, she was more daring and confident.

"It was just sitting there looking lonely," Tilly pouted.

"Same with these," Shiv said deviously, pulling out a semi crushed cigarette box from her bra and holding back a grin.

"You don't even smoke," Tilly laughed, sitting down on the outdoor lounge and curling her legs up beneath her flowing satin dress.

"Oh no, neither does Peter's daughter but she was definitely high as a kite tonight," Shiv giggled, opening the box to reveal what was inside.

Three joints and a lighter.

"Oh fuck yeah, you're the real genius here!"

"She's so out of it she'll probably just assume she dropped it or left it behind somewhere," Shiv said before pulling the wine bottle towards her. "D'you sneak up a bottle opener by chance?"

"Fuck, no I didn't..." Tilly groaned before Shiv shrugged and lifted the bottle to her teeth, clenching them around the cork and pulling it out with only the slightest effort. "That was the coolest thing I've ever seen you do."

"What?" Shiv laughed. "I was in a sorority during college, I've had my fair share of trashy parties." She explained, pouring wine for them both and lifting her glass for a cheers. Tilly clinked it against Shiv's, toasting to 'Caroline's naivety', whereas Shiv toasted to 'a long overdue girls night' which made Tilly smile.

"I have to know something because Tom and I have had a bet since the fucking day I met you... Have you screwed Greg?"

Tilly almost choked on her drink, for the second time today, "What?"

"Tom thinks you haven't but I have this weird sneaking suspicion in my chest that you might have at that corporate daycare thing you met him at."

"I definitely have not fucked Greg."

She whined jokingly, "Shit... Can you? For me?"

"I love Greg, I do, but... He's just too nice... It kind of gives me the ick," Tilly admitted with a shameful but amused laugh.

"Greg gives you the ick but Kendall doesn't?"

"Oh no, I get the ick from him too. It just comes and goes in waves," Tilly said casually.

"That was another one of our bets... How long it would take for you to realise Ken was completely fucking insane," Shiv added.

"Oh no, I know he's a lunatic but he fucks me well enough that it doesn't matter," Tilly said without a second to think about who exactly she was talking to. "Shit, I totally forgot you were related for a second. You don't want to hear me talking about sleeping with your brother."

"Surprisingly my brain kind of checks out and I forget you're talking about Kendall. What's the whole situation with you and him anyway? I don't even know when it all started I just kind of heard you two had fucked one day and that was the new normal."

"We uh, we first slept together the night of your wedding actually... Then it was casual sex once we got back to New York whenever we were free. But I got weirded out a little while ago because it was kind of getting too... Relationship-y? So then I ghosted him and at his party I tried to end things for good, but one thing led to another and I ended up at his place. Now I'm going in waves... Like I'll want to fuck him but then he does something that gives me the ick and I avoid him."

"Tom gives me the ick whenever we have sex."

"Do you still fuck him?"

"Lately, no. It's only ever good about half the time, maybe a third... Sometimes I think of someone else during it, other times I fake it and wait for it to be over," Shiv says candidly, open about her marriage in more ways than one.

"God, you guys need to try and spice things up," she laughed.

"Trust me, you don't need to tell me about spicing things up. I tried to get Tom to have a threesome with me back in Croatia and he totally fucking freaked out,"

"Really? Huh, I always thought Tom seemed like he'd be a kinky little fucker behind closed doors. God, the way him and Greg talk is like I'm stuck inside a jizz soaked bro club," she laughed.

Shiv shook her head with a hearty chuckle. "So it's a no to Greg, and it's a fifty fifty on Kendall... What's the deal with Rome then?"

"Does there have to be 'a deal' with him?"

"No but there's definitely some sort of deal between you two. Which kind of makes me feel relieved since it proves he can actually keep a decent woman around,"

"I- I like him Shiv... God, listen to me, I sound like a fucking teenager debating who to take to prom," Tilly groaned, dropping her head into her hands in shame.

"I think it's sweet. But take it from someone who shared the womb with him for nine months, Rome will throw tantrums and kick and fight but most of the time he just wants to be held and told everything's going to be alright... It's usually at his low points he breaks and finally reaches out but after that he kind of knows it's safe to do it again... You wanna know who I'd choose?"

Matilda nodded.

"I'd stick with Rome... Ken basically needs to be institutionalised right now and Roman... Well, Roman's a slightly better person than Ken is right now but that's still a positive," Shiv confessed.

It had been a long time since Matilda had a proper girl to girl conversation about men. Since moving to New York, she hadn't made a secure group of girl friends. Most women she went out with were very surface level relationships to her, purely people to party with or girlfriends of her male colleagues that were dragged along to whatever work event she was at. But as she grew closer and closer to the Roy's, it felt like her social calendar had changed drastically. She didn't spend her weekends trying to get onto night club guest lists anymore, she was gallivanting around the globe.

It was nice to have this time with Shiv finally.

Shiv wasn't one to open up and wear her heart on her sleeve though. She always thought she wasn't a good listener and that she wasn't someone with great advice to give. She just never felt like a proper 'girl' when it came to all of those things. Her family was a large contributing factor to that, being the only daughter in a family dominated by men. Roman and Kendall often slandered her for not having any girlfriends to get 'litty' with, though Shiv was always quick to fight back that they didn't have friends either.

"And don't just say Stewy or Nate," Shiv would scoff whenever Kendall protested that he did have friends.

Logan and Caroline always forced femininity onto their only daughter Pinky, whether they realised or not. Logan was a little more explicit when it came to his comments, never shying away from throwing slur after slur towards his child. One of the most vivid memories she had of Logan's blatant misogyny was during the winter of ninth grade when she opted to wear pants instead of a skirt for her school uniform. It was a particularly cold Winter, with days rarely reaching temperatures above 20 degrees. Her private school uniform allowed the girls to be sufficiently warm, with students sporting a long sleeve blouse with a thick blazer over the top. The school skirt however, was impractical for cold snaps such as the one they were experiencing so the school introduced pants as an option for the girls to purchase and wear.

Logan called her a dyke that entire Winter. He even refused to call her Pinky until the weather warmed up enough for her to wear the school skirt again. Despite Logan using her nickname mostly as a term of endearment throughout her life, Shiv always seemed to feel like Pinky was an insult.

It belittled her. It made her small.

Caroline was less direct with her toxicity but equally as damaging. She was always quick to comment on certain behaviours that weren't 'ladylike' and encouraged her to alter her appearance to please others on a regular basis. From the hairs on her head down to the nail polish colour on her toes, Caroline drilled the mentality into Shiv that image was everything.

At age nine, Caroline handed her daughter a packet of razors and a pair of tweezers, mentioning that men didn't like hairy women. Shiv found it quite a strange conversation because she had never considered herself a woman, she was just a little girl; a kid. Why would a man ever care if a kid had hair on their legs? Ever the motherly figure, Caroline neglected to advise her daughter on how to shave her legs or shape her eyebrows so that night a teary eyed Shiv left her nightly shower covered in tiny cuts and razor burns.

"Beauty is pain," Caroline stated, handing her daughter a handkerchief and demanding that she stop crying like a baby.

And for years Shiv conformed to the image of women her parents painted in her head. She wore skirts. She removed the hair from every inch of her body and she ensured she woke up an hour earlier than needed purely to do a flawless face of makeup. Though as she got older and Logan focused more of his attention to his sons, she became more confident in expressing her femininity through power suits and short hair.

It was progress and it was growth, but it was still masquerading the emotional scar tissue damaged by misogyny.

"You know, you just rocked up to the New York office out of no where and everyone wanted to know you, be you or fuck you," Shiv chuckled, reaching over to pour more wine into Tilly's glass. "I wonder how that feels."

"That's what everyone thinks of you anyway, you're Shiv fucking Roy," Tilly laughed.

"Seriously? Most men don't fucking look at me. They're too scared because of my last name."

"Everyone already knows you're hot. They just don't try to flirt with you because they know you're out of their league... I remember my very first day in the New York office I heard two guys questioning how Tom had even managed to tie you down," Tilly laughed, giggling with Shiv.

"I ask myself the same thing every day."

* * *

"Mom found out I had new daddy rat fucked and she was not happy about it," Roman huffed, sitting on the end of the bed and running his hands through his hair. The once gelled strands broke apart from his fingers being forced through them, though they mostly remained in place.

"I don't know what that means but I'm kind of scared to ask," Tilly said leaning against the chest of drawers opposite him to stabilise herself and take her heels off.

"You're going to fall over, and I don't want to spend the night in an Italian hospital so lemme do it dumbass," Roman sighed, wiggling his fingers at her to lift her foot for him.

Tilly held onto the wooden drawers and leant against it as she hovered her foot over Roman's knee. He was quick to bring it down to his thigh and hold her calf to make sure she was balanced before fiddling with the strap of her shoe. "What did you say you had done to Peter? Wrap fucked?"

"Rat fucked," he corrected before flicking his hand towards her other foot to swap. She hopped down and lifted the other, her facial expression evident to Roman that she was confused by the term. So he tried to elaborate further, "By Sam?"

"Who's Sam?"

"Rat-fucker Sam. Dad's little spy henchman?"

She shook her head.

"You'd have seen him around for sure. He practically stalks people for a job. Any time we need someone sussed out, he's our guy."

"Is he nice?" She asked as Roman tapped her foot for her to take it off of his knee. She was scared. What if this Sam guy investigated her?

"Is he nice? You're asking me if someone called 'Rat-Fucker Sam is nice? He's- I dunno, he's just a Rat-Fucker... But this new fucking, Peter guy? Three bankruptcies, two marriages, four children, and five shell companies. He's a big investor in shitty nursing homes, tipping applesauce down their gullets and telling them they had a four-course dinner," he rambled, obviously not approving of his mother's husband to be.

Tilly could tell he was stressed. Not entirely by Caroline's marriage to Peter Munion, but with the myriad of issues and challenges he was constantly facing at Waystar. He was balancing his father's rocky relationship with Kendall alongside his own, not sure of when Cyclone Ken would inevitably destroy everything in his path. He knew that Kendall and Stewy were planning another coup against Logan, with Kendall's media presence being the talk of the business town. It felt like a day couldn't go past without seeing his brother in another interview or article regarding his little revolution.

He was deep in thought, still sat on the end of the bed and pulling at his shoelaces to kick his Louboutins off. Tilly gently ran her fingers underneath his collar to loosen his tie, helping him like he had done for her. They were both silent before Roman, like usual, filled his discomfort with words. "Should we get married?"

"It's one in the morning Roman."

"Not now. I mean like, eventually. When we're old and decrepit and shitting our pants," he said whilst rolling his eyes. Obviously he didn't mean now, he meant, whenever. He just thought that maybe he wouldn't mind being married one day and that maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't mind if his wife was her.

"How romantic..." she trailed, the sarcasm thick in her voice. "What makes you think you could stick around for that long?"

"You know me, I hate everyone. But I figured you'd be the type of person I'd hate being with the least. You would help me look normal at these things and let me touch your ass and I'd like, fucking take care of you and keep you safe or whatever the fuck people say in their wedding vows."

Roman knew he was too busy and focused on work to invest time in forming new relationships that didn't come naturally to him. If there was too much effort involved, he abandoned ship. He liked his routine and personal space far too much to add another person into that. He didn't want someone to come in and disturb the peace, who left their clothes everywhere and dumped their bag and shoes at the front door. He safely assumed that Tilly didn't want that either. He knew how focused she was on her own career. How casual and blasé she was about his issues and she had some serious baggage in the whole shitty parents department too. Plus, she laughed at his jokes.

"Aw, you'd take care of me? Like you'd keep my bowl nice and full and make sure to take me for walks?"

"Don't be a cunt about it," he scoffed, taking himself into the ensuite bathroom to start his night time routine. She heard the shower turn on and contemplated whether or not she would join him. One the one hand, she wanted to shower. But on the other, she didn't know whether it would be something Roman would be comfortable. Her mind drifted to Kendall. Kendall was always comfortable showering with her, in fact he was just comfortable around her full stop. As much as it made her guilty to even think about, it was a lot easier to be with Kendall.

In the end, Tilly decided that she was far too drunk and far too tired to perform such miracles like showering, so she got straight into her pajamas. For the trip, she'd specifically bought a new silk slip, conscious that she wouldn't just be seen by Roman in the mornings, but many of the Roy's too. When she heard the shower stop, she called out to him. "How bout this. If you hit 50 and we're both still single, I'll marry you."

Roman's head poked out from around the corner, his wet fringe dripping down his forehead before staring at her and brushing his teeth. Cautious to not let any of the toothpaste saliva hybrid spill from his mouth, he talked with as little movement as possible, "I can wait 12 years."

"Oh, so I googled that Lukas Mattson guy... Turns out he's like, a big deal in Europe," she called out again, looking over and seeing Roman's reflection as he stared at himself in the mirror.

"Who?"

"The Swedish guy Stewy mentioned to you,"

"Oh right, the blowjob business deal one," he said coming back out from the ensuite and crawling into bed next to her.

"He's the CEO of fucking GoJo. He basically coded the whole thing from the ground up and he's kept the business pretty tight since then... I reckon we should buy something like GoJo instead of fucking local news networks like your Dad's always suggesting," Tilly said snuggling into his side.

"I mean, tech is coming to bite us and streaming is tech... But Dad will probably just say we would save money if we just invested half as much into StarGo," he shrugged off, putting his arm around her and wriggling to get comfortable.

Matilda sighed, "Fuck, StarGo needs some sort of love thrown at it. It's so fucking terrible but I just have to deal with the fucking terrible ass interface because it has all the good shit I want to watch."

"Okay calm down, don't get all worked up. I'll find you too hot and get horny if I think you're angry," he whined jokingly.

"GoJo shits all over StarGo... Seriously, in the time it takes to load the fucking home screen I could have started some fucking Swedish IKEA documentary,"

"I reckon I'd be able to bust a nut in that time," Roman laughed.

"That's not saying much Rome, you're not the best at edging yourself," Tilly mocked.

"Oh fuck you... Why would I want to stop myself from cumming anyway? I may as well just jerk off, cum after a normal amount of time and be like 'ah cool, I came and it felt great' and I move on with my fucking day," he explained.

"Want to put it to the test? Open up StarGo, I'll blow you and we'll see which finishes faster. You or the home page," she smirked.

"It's obviously going to be the home page Til."

"Yeah I know, I just needed an excuse to try and give you a blowjob. So shut up and kiss me already."

    
* * *
    

Awoken to the soft chirping of birds and the startlingly loud banging of Shiv's fist against her bedroom door this morning, Matilda's hangover was begging for sleep and pain killers. She yawned as she flicked through her various Monopoly cards, checking if Greg had landed on one of her properties. "Yeah, I own that one," she said softly, waiting for him to count out the several notes of paper money.

Connor had found the board game inside the villa and suggested that the group play a quick game to help take their minds off the news they'd received that morning; that Comfrey found Kendall at the bottom of the pool late last night and they'd spent several hours in the emergency room. Comfrey called Karolina as the first port of call, fearing that Kendall would be angry at her if she called one of his family members to deliver the news. So, the family only found out about his suspected suicide attempt this morning when they returned to the villa.

Tilly pinched the small metal cat figurine between her fingers and tapped it against the Monopoly board, moving six spaces forward. "Oxford Street?" She asked, checking if anyone else at the table owned it.

Her phone vibrated against her thigh which made her glance down quickly at the notification on her Lock Screen:

    
Voicemail
Kendall Roy (1)

"Ah yes, that would be me," Willa said with a smug smile as she sorted through her property cards. "300 please."

"Huh? Oh right, sorry. Rome, can you give Willa some of my cash? I uh, I just need to check something real quick," Tilly said before excusing herself from the group to listen to the audio message.

Her phone hadn't rung at all before receiving the voicemail, and as she listened to the automated message beforehand, the voicemail from Kendall had been received at 4:32am.

Since it had only been delivered now, she suspected it was because his phone would've been set to airplane mode by Comfrey earlier and that he had now woken up from his nap and turned it off.

"Hey Til... I'm uh... I'm in hospital..." Kendall's message started, his voice slurry and dragged out.

With furrowed brows and her bottom lip wedged between her teeth, Roman grew concerned at her expression. Who had called her? Why did she look so focused and, stress-y? She covered her mouth with her hand instinctively, which concerned Roman even more. He ignored Tom's gleeful cheers from landing on a chance space and acquiring a get out of jail free card; a second one he taunted.

When Tilly came back, she had seen her seat was taken by Comfrey, buried in her phone and inevitably trying to fight off any rumours about Kendall's incident. Roman pulled her swiftly onto his lap, giving her a seat at the table where she could continue the board game that they were all surprisingly invested in.

"You okay?" He asked quietly. She nodded, telling him that one of her favourite work colleagues had left her a voicemail saying that she was resigning. It was a lie. But he believed it.

He was quick to change the subject, irritated by the awkward and uncomfortable silence amongst his siblings. "Is fucking someone during Monopoly with your family considered uncouth?"

"Roman..." Tilly warned, elbowing him as he wrapped an arm around her waist to lean forward and roll the dice.

"What? They all bully me for not being a sexual predator like the rest of 'em but when I make one little comment he sticks his nose up," he huffed, especially since he landed on one of Willa's properties.

Everyone was landing on Willa's properties.

"It's just a little early for those type of comments. Don't go ruining a good morning," Connor says furrowing his brows.

Counting out several bills of paper money he begrudgingly hands it to a smug and smiley Willa; who mind you was the one with the most properties on the board and most money. "You're telling me not to ruin the morning but you should really be telling that to wannabe Kurt Cobain in his fucking floaties for trying to off himself last night," he scoffed, not realising that Kendall had emerged from inside and was stood behind him.

"I didn't try to kill myself, I just had one too many limoncellos."