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━━━━»•» act three. age of anguish

40. this pain demands «•« ━━━━

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ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ third age ━━ year 3019

𓇻 rohan; helm's deep

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THE ROOM THAT WAS NOW BEING ADJUSTED AS THE HEALING QUARTERS, USED TO BE THE PANTRY. Most of the food supplies had been moved into the caverns and whatever was left had been brought to the kitchen. Fridwyn had requested some of the baskets and bowls be left behind, as they could be used by the healers. But there was a lot more to be done.

In the middle of the room, they had started a small and contained fire. The heat was needed to clean their tools or, in the worst case, cauterize wounds. Fridwyn had given one of her healers the job to tear up any piece of cloth she could get her hands on and boil it above the fire. If the cloth they used to clean and bandage the wounds was dirty, they could do more damage than good.

Another healer got to work on filling every bowl and jug they had with clean water from the well in the square of the fortress. Fridwyn had instructed there to be water available within reach of every bed. Both clean water and water laced with honey, to replace any lost fluids and prevent shock. Elgarain was actually surprised at how well learned the healer was. Most human medicine was far less refined than the ways of the Elves, but it seemed that, over time, Fridwyn had learned a lot.

As she directed the women to their tasks, Elgarain found herself once again impressed by her stern guidance. To an outsider it might seem like she didn't have faith in her people, but Elgarain had come to learn that it was because she had faith in their abilities that she was short and direct with them.

Elgarain had busied herself with sorting every medicinal herb they had available. It was far less than she would have liked. They would have to be used sparsely and only in case they truly believed the patient would survive. They couldn't afford to be wasted on the dead.

The dead...

She took a shaky breath and clenched her hands to stop them trembling. Every time her mind threatened to wander towards what had happened, she felt the overwhelming urge to just lie down and let the world go on without her. What kind of future was she fighting for if she did not have her love, her hope, by her side?

His sun, he had called her, but now she realized he had just as much been her light. Even during the time they spent apart she had drawn strength from him. She had lived with the knowledge that he was somewhere out there in the world, living and fulfilling the role meant for him. Even if she couldn't have him, at least his people did. But now...

She cleared her throat and turned her attention towards a jar of dried Feverfew leaves on the table before her. As the name suggested the herb could be used to prevent fever. Though it also had some use in preventing infection. She placed the jar by other herbs like it and moved on to the Lady's Mantle plant. The sap from its stem was helpful in mending torn skin. The plant was actually very common in Rohan and so this was the one herb they had plenty of.

"Lady Elgarain?" Fridwyn came standing at her side. "A word?"

She nodded and gently put the plant she'd been holding down.

The healer crossed her arms across her chest, stern eyes carefully studying her. "I mean no disrespect, considering what you are going through right now, but I do have to ask this."

"Ask your question," she said, knowing deep down what the healer was about to say.

"Are you capable of providing the care these people need?"

Elgarain almost smiled, almost. For a moment it felt like she was standing before Lord Elrond again as a young Elfling. He taught her emotions had no place in the Healing Rooms. Her patients deserved her undivided attention and focus, not her tears and shaky hands. "I understand your question," she said. "In fact, I would have thought it strange had you not asked me at all."

Fridwyn nodded, though her intense gaze did not waver.

"Trust me, I've been a healer for longer than you are alive," Elgarain said softly, not to show she was superior to the other woman, but to show she knew what she was talking about. "I know what I'm doing."

For a moment Fridwyn held her gaze. "Alright," she finally said, "but I will lead. These are my people."

"Of course." She wouldn't have expected anything different.

The woman nodded curtly, then walked off with swift strides.

Elgarain watched her go and for a moment it was as though looking at herself. How she had inspired and instructed the healers back in Mithlond. How she had asked them if they were alright treating patients they knew or how they were doing after losing a patient. Her methods may be different, but she and Fridwyn were more alike than she had initially thought.

"I'm sorry, m'lady," a friendly voice spoke from behind her. "She can be a bit stern sometimes."

Elgarain turned and looked into the friendly eyes of Alys. Though she had at last found the courage to speak with her, she still kept a respectful distance. She nodded at the young woman. "There is no need to be sorry. I know she didn't intend to be rude."

Alys offered her another friendly smile, though it seemed like there was something else on her mind.

"I did not know you were a healer," Elgarain said, trying to make the woman feel more at ease.

Alys shook her head. "I'm not, but my mother was. I wanted to be of use and Lady Éowyn suggested my help might be needed here."

"Lady Éowyn is very wise," Elgarain said as she got back to sorting her herbs.

"Oh, for sure," Alys spoke with her Rohirric accent. "She saw us through the dark times of the King's sickness."

Elgarain looked up from her work and studied the woman. There was clearly something she wished to say, though the way she was pulling at the threads of her skirt suggested she was trying very hard to work up the nerve to do so. Though, instead of pushing her, Elgarain waited patiently for the young woman to gather herself.

"I've-" she began, only to waver before clearing her throat and trying again, "I've heard tales of the magic of Elves. How they can heal someone with just a touch of their hands. A-and I've heard how the wizard Gandalf healed our king."

Elgarain frowned, growing more curious to what she was trying to say.

"There used to be an alliance between men and elves, ya know?" she muttered, looking everywhere but at Elgarain. "And some of us wondered if you being here means such an alliance has come again?"

Oh yes, she did know. It was her very own father who had forged that alliance and marched men, elf and dwarf against the forces of darkness. These people were looking for hope to save them from those evil forces once again. But Elgarain hadn't arrived with an army. The only thing she'd brought were her skills as a healer and her knowledge as queen. She couldn't save these people...

"I-" she began but found she didn't know what to say. How could she shatter this woman's last hope? She had but one thing to give and that was her reason for coming here at all. Maybe all Alys needed to hear was her heritage. Maybe that would be enough. "It was my father who formed the Last Alliance between the three races," she said gently. "He still inspires me."

Alys eyes widened and she bowed her head. "Then I'm glad to have you with us, m'lady."

Elgarain took a step forward and placed her hand on Alys' shoulder. "I promise, I will do all I can to make sure your people survive." She wished she could give more than that, but she refused to give this woman false hope.

Alys smiled and the hope that sparked within her eyes brightened Elgarain's heavy heart, only if for a moment.

"Now," Elgarain said as she stepped back and gestured to the table. "Let me show you how you can help your people as well, Alys."

The woman stepped forward with an eager nod.

The next few hours Elgarain spent explaining everything she could about the use of herbs and the stitching of wounds to the young woman. After a while, it wasn't just Alys listening anymore. The other healers who had finished their work came to join and listened intently to her teachings.

It wasn't until she'd worked her way through every herb and told the woman to go and eat something and rest, that she saw even Fridwyn had been listening. The woman had stood leaning against the doorway and as soon as Elgarain's gaze fell upon her, she retreated from the room. With a small shake of her head, she put away the herbs. Where Alys had seemed to get hope from Elgarain's presence, Fridwyn only seemed determined to show skepticism.

After making sure everything in the healing quarters was ready, Elgarain left the room in search of some food and her friends. She found Gimli first, sitting outside the smithery. He was holding his flask with liquor as he observed the soldiers trying out their weapons in the square below.

She took a seat beside him, and he wordlessly handed her the flask.

For a moment she doubted, remembering the unpleasant way the drink had burned within her. Then, before she could change her mind, she took the flask and drank from it.

This time, Gimli made no comment on Elves and liquor. All he did was nod at her as the words he'd spoken last time they drank together seemed to echo between them. "Is the lad giving you that much grief then?" If only she knew then what she knew now.

"What were you doing in the smithery?" she asked as she took another sip, anything to distract herself.

"Your guard needed a new sword," he muttered, "one worthy of her skill."

The smallest of smiles appeared on her face. "I never thought to see the day a dwarf made a weapon for an elf."

Gimli held out his hand, and she gave him back the flask. "For a friend," he said before taking a sip. "If only they could make swords like they built fortresses."

She raised a brow. "You think Helm's Deep is well built?"

"This country has tough bones. I felt them in my feet as we came up from the bridge. Give me a year and a hundred of my kin and I would make this a place that armies would break upon like water."

"Sadly, we do not have a year," she sighed. "The walls will have to hold as they are."

Gimli eyed her from beneath his bushy brows. "They will hold, lass."

"I feel much better having a dwarf say so."

He chuckled. "Even if they don't hold, we shall fight. Already, my axe feels restless in my hand. We'll make them pay for what they did."

A heart burned at his words, and she closed her eyes for a moment. "He would not want us to fight out of revenge, but to protect. This people, this land, it deserves to be protected."

"Aye," the dwarf mumbled. "That it does."

Footsteps from behind them made her turn around. Alys approached, greeting the two of them with a bow of her head. "Lord Erkenbrand sends me. He wishes to speak with you in the King's Hall."

"Thank you, Alys," Elgarain said, then got to her feet. "I'll see you soon, mellon nin."

Gimli nodded, lifting his flask as a farewell.

She followed Alys through the fortress. The King's Hall was located in the very middle of the Hornburg. The best protected and defendable place in all of Helm's Deep, except maybe the caves. As they walked, she saw most women and children had been moved into the caves already. Though there were some still saying their goodbyes to their family members staying behind to fight. She turned her eyes away, unable to bear their grief when she already carried her own.

The Hall was a large room with a few windows in the thick walls. They didn't let nearly enough light in and so a few torches were hung along the wall as well. In the middle of the room stood King Théoden with his commanders, surrounding a table which held a map of the area. Lord Erkenbrand was standing at the Kings' side.

"My Lord?" Alys questioned softly.

Upon hearing her voice, the men fell silent and turned to look at them. "Ah, thank you Alys," Lord Erkenbrand said. "You may go."

The young woman bowed and retreated from the room, closing the doors behind her.

"You wished to speak with me, my lord?" Elgarain questioned.

He nodded. "I did, my lady. I trust you have everything you need to prepare the healers?"

Elgarain opened her mouth, only to close it again, a frown on her face. "I do, but should you not discuss such matters with Fridwyn? She is in charge of the healers here."

As he searched for words, Elgarain was starting to understand Fridwyn's hostility towards her. Her insistence that she was in charge wasn't out of malice. It was out of fear. Fear that because Elgarain was an elf, her opinion as healer would be seen as more valuable. Even though these were her people, her land to protect, Erkenbrand had called upon Elgarain, not Fridwyn. It turned out she had been correct to think so.

"I know much about healing, Lord Erkenbrand," she said, voice stern. "And Fridwyn is one of the most capable healers I've ever met in my long life. Do not shove her expertise aside simply because you believe someone more capable has arrived."

The man nodded, looking ashamed. "I understand, your majesty."

"Good, then I shall take up your question with Fridwyn." She took a step towards the man. "I speak not out of anger, my Lord. This is a time where you have to trust in your people. If you do not, this battle is already lost."

He bowed and judging by the look on his face, he truly did understand.

A loud bang echoed through the room and Elgarain spun around, watching as the doors to the Hall were opened. She swore, in that moment, her heart stopped. For the man appearing in the doorway, though looking haggard and bruised, was very much alive. It couldn't be...

"Aragorn?" she whispered.

His grey eyes fell upon her and that was all she needed to know it was really him. The warmth in that look was as familiar to her as her own breath. And suddenly she was running. She sprinted across the room, not a care in the world who was watching. He caught her in his arms, stumbling on his weakened legs at the force of her embrace. Tears of happiness rolled down her cheek. Gently, she took his face in her hands, caressing every line, every scar, just like how she'd once drawn him on paper.

"Nalyë coina," she whispered through her tears. "Nanwen nin."

He wiped away her tears with this thumb. "Ní nauva tanomë illumë."

A trembling laugh fell from her lips. Then she kissed him, because what else could she have done? She needed him, needed the light in her heart he'd taken with him when he fell off that cliff. His love belonged to her, and it had come back to her once again. Right then and there, she believed him when he said he would return, always. 

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𝕬𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝕹𝐎𝐓𝐄 . . .

They're reunited! I've been very excited to write this chapter! I hope you guys liked it. I swear I love my Ararain babies so much! Also, can we take a moment to appreciate the beauty that is the gif I made for this chapter lol ;)

Quick disclaimer: the conversation between Gimli and Elgarain is inspired by a conversation between Gimli and Legolas in the books. Gimli's dialogue about "This country has tough bones..." is a direct quote from the book. So I take no credit for that part!

As always, please leave some comments and votes. Hopefully I'll see you again soon.

(And yes, Elgarain and Aragorn's conversation at the end was a total reference to their song: This love by Taylor Swift)

xx Nelly

ELVISH TRANSLATIONS:

Nalyë coina ― You're alive

Nanwen nin ― You came back to me

Ní nauva tanomë illumë ― I will be there always