BACK TO YOU

six. my one

▬▬ LENNOX GRINNED AS SHE made her way down the hall, a balloon in one hand and a stuffed monkey in the other, she was trying to be quiet so she didn’t wake everyone up. She slowly pushed Belly’s bedroom door open and stepped into the girl’s room. Belly was sound asleep, that is until Lennox jumped onto the girl’s bed and shouted.

“Happy Birthday!”

“Gahh!” Belly screamed as she sat up, her wide eyes finally landing on Lennox, who still grinned. “Jeez, Len.” She huffed, pushing her hair back and the older girl simply held out the two items she held. “Thank you.” Belly told her as she took them.

“I can’t believe you’re sixteen.” Lennox mumbled, wrapping her arms around the girl and Belly chuckled as she did the same.

“What? What happened?” Jeremiah asked as he, Steven and Conrad rushed into the room all searching for some kind of trouble.

“We heard screaming.” Steven added but they relaxed upon seeing the two girls.

“Aww, were you guys to save us from the stuffed monkey?” Lennox asked as she pulled away from Belly and turned to face them, holding up the stuffed animal she had gotten for Belly.

“In our defense-” Jeremiah started. “-that monkey looks pretty sketchy.”

“Get out.” Lennox waved them off and they backed out of the door, Conrad meeting her eyes before he left, pulling the door closed behind him. “So, how was your date?” Lennox grinned, her hands enveloping Belly’s. It had been a week, but Lennox had been busy with her photography class and Nate.

“It was good.” Belly nodded, her cheeks pink. “We watched Sabrina-”

“Such a good movie.”

“I know.” Belly agreed. “And he kissed me. And it would’ve been perfect if the guys hadn’t shown up.”

“They crashed your date?”

“Yeah. Steven said the book party was boring.”

“I’m gonna kill them.” Lennox mumbled as she stood up. “That is my present to you, three very, annoying, dead boys.”

“How’d you know what I wanted?” Belly asked, jokingly.

“It’s what we all want, trust me.” Lennox leaned forward and kissed the girl’s forehead. “Happy Birthday, Bell.” With that she left the room and knocked on Steven’s door.

The boy sighed when he opened it and there stood the short brunette. “Belly told you, didn’t she?”

“Why would you crash her date?”

“We were bored.” He shrugged. “And after you left, Conrad disappeared and it was the only thing I could think of.”

“You’re all idiots.” She shook her head. “It wasn’t just a date, Steven. It was her first date, with a really nice boy – at least I remember him being super nice. I was drunk when I met him.”

“Look, Len, I’ll apologize.” He put his hand on her shoulder. “Now, get rid of that murderous look in your eyes, there, good job.” He patted the top of her head and she swatted at his hand.

“Lenny.” She turned to Jeremiah, who she hadn’t really talked to since the book party.

“I’m gonna-” Steven pointed into his room then stepped back and shut the door, leaving the two alone in the hallway.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you what?”

“I didn’t even know you were with anyone, much less that you broke up. I didn’t know you were…” He trailed off.

“What? Heartbroken?” She asked, a humorless chuckle behind her words. “Yeah, that was the plan. I didn’t want anyone to know, not even you. I just wanted a great summer.”

“Who was the guy?” He asked, stepping closer to her and she shook her head. She didn’t want to tell him, she didn’t even want to have this conversation. “Lenny, come on, it’s me. You can tell me anything. You know that.” He placed his hand on her cheek and gently tilted her head back to make her look at him.

“Not this, Jere.” She mumbled then she turned and made her way to her room, passing Conrad as he stepped out of his room.

“Lennox-” He called after her but she just slammed her door shut and took a deep breath,  the dread, the sadness, the heartache hit her all at once. It was like it pressed in her chest, forcing the air from her lungs.

She couldn't breathe and she hated it. She hated that even mentioning the fact that she was so messed up sent her into a spiral. All this over a boy… she couldn't believe that she had become that pathetic.

Then again, it wasn't just the boy.

>>>>> • <<<<<

▬▬ AFTER GETTING DRESSED and straightening her hair, Lennox made her way to the kitchen, managing a fake smile as Susannah made her way towards her. “How’s my angel?”

That was all it took for the fake smile to become slightly more real. “I’m okay.” She nodded, but Susannah knew better, she also knew that it was probably best that she didn’t ask with everyone else in the kitchen. “What do you need help with?” She asked, looking around the kitchen, balloons were tied to one of the chairs, Steven and Laurel stood at the stove making pancakes, while Conrad sat at the counter, fixing himself a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, and Jeremiah stood at the end of the counter wrapping the gift he had gotten for Belly.

“I think we got it all covered.” Susannah told her and she nodded before passing Conrad, she didn’t even look at him. But he could peel his eyes away from her as she passed Jeremiah and made her way over to Steven.

“Bacon?” He offered a piece and she smiled as she took it from him.

“Thanks, Stevie.” She hummed and he nodded, patted the top of her head but she didn’t swat at his hands like she normally would.

“You okay?” He asked and everyone looked over at the two.

“Yeah.” She nodded before looking around. “Really, guys, I’m fine.” She told them.
No one really believed her, but before anyone could ask, Belly stepped into the kitchen.

“Morning, everyone.”

“There’s the birthday girl, looking like a vision in floral.” Susannah hugged the newly minted sixteen-year-old. “Happy Birthday.”

Jeremiah stepped towards them as his mom stepped to the side. “Happy sweet sixteen, Bells.” He pulled her in for a hug and the girl simply giggled.

“Happy Birthday, Belly.” Conrad mumbled, still he sat at the counter with his cereal and the girl nodded her head in acknowledgement. He had been even more off since the night of the book party.

“Belly Button’s getting old finally. Happy birthday.” Steven added, taking a bite of the bacon he had cooked and Lennox waved at the girl, having already told the girl her happy birthday.

“Thanks, everyone.” Belly chuckled, it was obvious that she was feeling a little giddy.

“Happy birthday, sweetheart.” Laurel hugged her daughter, getting a thanks in return. “Your Mickey Mouse pancakes are ready.”

“Actually, I’m not really, uh, hungry.”

“Oh.” Laurel mumbled, slightly disappointed.

“Shall we open gifts?” Susannah asked.

“Oh, you’re gonna love mine.” Jeremiah grinned, holding up the little box he had wrapped.

Soon, they had all gathered in the living room, Belly on the loveseat, the moms on the couch, with Steven and Conrad in the air chairs and Lennox and Jeremiah on the floor – the girl sat in front of Steven, her back against his shins. A smile still sat upon her lips but it was small and it didn’t reach her eyes. She was trying her hardest to make sure that Belly had a great day and that it wasn’t ruined but her less than okay mood.

Belly unwrapped the first present and flipped it over in her hands, it was a book. “It’s a first edition.” Laurel told her. “I got it from a rare book dealer.”

“Thanks, mom.” Belly told her, though it was clear she wasn’t exactly excited about the book.

“Turn to the bookmarked page.” She told her then she leaned closer to her best friend. “It’s your favorite poem.”

“Oh, yeah, I remember Susannah teaching us to recite this.” Belly grinned. “For whatever we lose…”

Jeremiah and Lennox jumped in. “-like a you or a me-” everyone else joined in. “-it’s always ourselves we find in the sea.”

“Thank you. I love it.” Belly told her mom, getting a smile in return. Then Susannah handed over her present – it was her pearls. Next was Jeremiah, he had gotten her a key charm for her bracelet – claiming it was a good luck charm to help her pass her driving test. Steven had gotten her a Princeton sweatshirt, claiming he didn’t want her taking his when he got in. Conrad had gotten the girl a few pictures of him, Lennox, and Belly from the photo booth at the boardwalk a few years before. And Lennox had printed up some pictures she had taken of everyone from over the years, all the way back to the year Lennox had gotten her first camera. She had put them all in a photo album, with the picture on the front being of the two girls.

>>>>> • <<<<<

▬▬ "OKAY, WHERE DO you want me?” Lennox asked as she flopped down next to Susannah on the couch, the girl had a wide smile on her face and the blonde just laughed as the teenager put her head on her shoulder.

“Um, by the pool.” She told her, rubbing her arm. “Oh, and can you put on that dress I got you? The pink one with the flowers?”

“Absolutely.” Lennox nodded. “I’ll meet you out there.” She patted the woman’s knee then she pushed herself up and made her way up to her room. She pulled the pink dress from the closet and quickly changed before running a brush through her hair to make sure it looked decent.

Lennox smiled as she sat down on the edge of the hot tube, her hair hanging over her left shoulder and the dress almost puddled around her hips. Susannah smiled at the girl, but the nagging feeling that something was off kept bugging her.

“Is everything okay?” Susannah asked, catching the girl completely off guard.

“What? Oh, yeah. I-I’m good.”

“The truth.”

Lennox sighed, letting her head hand forward for a moment then he looked up at the woman again. Her defenses shattered, she could never keep something from Susannah for long.  “My dad sold our beach house. Says it’s too much for him, especially since he doesn’t get out here much.” 

“I’m sorry.”

“But it’s not just the house that I’m worried about losing.”

“What are you worried about losing?” Susannah asked and the girl started fidgeting with her hands, a nervous habit of hers.

“You guys.” It was so quiet that she was surprised the woman had heard it.

“You’re never gonna lose us, Angel.” Susannah gave her soft smile and Lennox nodded her head, wiping at her nose. “And you and Connie will figure this out.”

The girl looked up, her eyes wide. “How’d you know?”

“Last summer, you two weren’t all that great at sneaking around.” Susannah chuckled and Lennox’s cheek flushed. “I don't think anyone else noticed, but I saw the way you two looked at each other, and don’t for a second think I didn’t notice you two holding hands at dinner or that you snuck into his room.”

“I’m sorry.” Lennox rushed out. “We were planning on telling everyone, but we wanted to wait. I wanted to wait. I didn’t want to hurt Belly and it was just easier to keep it to ourselves. And we were gonna tell everyone this summer, but he broke up with me. And he never told me why. He never actually told me anything.”

“Oh, Angel.” Susannah mumbled, seeing the tears in the girl’s eyes and she opened her arms. Lennox quickly moved towards her and tucked her face into the woman’s neck as she wrapped her arms around her.

“I just don’t know what I did wrong.” She sobbed, squeezing the woman as tight as she could. “And now everything is so messed up. And I can’t get him out of my head. Summer isn’t supposed to be like this.”

“It’s okay to feel like this.” Susannah rubbed her back. “Heartbreak is normal and I’m sorry to say it, but you’re gonna go through so many heartbreaks until you find the one.”

“I thought he was my one.” Lennox mumbled, leaving the woman stunned. She had always assumed that they would end up together, watching them grow up and seeing how they looked at each other was enough for her to believe that they would. “I’m sorry.” Lennox pulled back, wiping her eyes. “Um, let me wash my face then we can get back to the portrait.” With that Lennox made her way into the house and Susannah watched her go. She wished she knew what to say to make her feel better, or to make her son feel better. But she just didn’t. Not yet, at least.