𝙚𝙧𝙖𝙙𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙩𝙚 || 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙬𝙤

"This is the worst soda I've ever had," I complain, my face scrunching up.

My dad smiles, pulling the glass away from me. "That's champagne, and it's your mom's."

"You think she's almost done yet?"

"I don't know, depends how Freja's feeling today." He shrugs upon mentioning the chestnut mare.

"Aren't we selling her?"

He nods. "Yes. We want to get some show records under her, though."

"Like Zones?" I question.

"No, no. Less recognized shows. Save Zones for our champs, yeah?"

My eyes sparkle in agreement. "I can compete in the 8-11 division this year, right?"

"Maybe," he says. "Yo won't be eight yet, so we'll see."

"Okay. Wonki and I will be bored in the baby division, though."

"Hey, you were in that baby division last year."

"And?" I quip.

"This thing tickles my nose," I complain, sucking in another breath with the nasal cannula.

"That 'thing' is keeping you alive," Nurse Matthas counters. "It stays on." 

I roll my eyes, scrunching my nose again. "Of course, it is, you taped it to my face," I hiss.

 "At least you're talking," I hear her mutter under her breath. "Let's go, Ms. Skyler is waiting." Nurse Matthas grabs the handles on my wheelchair and starts pushing forward. The wheels glide across the tiled floor, speeding through the hospital.

We stop at an elevator. The nurse clicks the button, calling one to take us downstairs. "You have the papers?" She asks as we wait.

I move my fingers to the Manila folder in my lap, swooping it up slightly before letting it drop.

"Good. One copy stays with you, one goes to Ms. Skyler. Okay?"

"Okay," I mumble inaudibly as the elevator dings. The doors inch open slowly, taking their time. A hurried man in a doctor's coat bursts through the doors before they're open all the way. He gives a tight smile, speeding past us, leaving the elevator free for us, and the other four doctor's who have joined us.

I've never been a fan of hospitals. They're too busy. Too crowded, too depressing. Nothing seems to go right at the hospital.

Or, maybe, I just hold a grudge since I sat in the Emergency Room for three hours with a broken and bloody nose before they got to me. Thank you, Wonki, for kicking me in the face.

"Maya, sit up. It looks like I'm taking you down to the morgue." Nurse Matthas' voice snaps me back to the present. I don't respond verbally, but slide a little further into the chair. My nurse grumbles something to herself.

After what seems like hours, the elevator rocks to a stop, and the inchworm doors start to move. When they open, I look up to see a goofy smile, with eyes covered by blonde hair.

"What's up, baby sis?" He asks, crouching down to my height. As his eyes appear, the usual sapphire of his eyes is dull. and diluted by a grey sadness.

I force a tight smile, trying not to show the pain in my eyes. I fail. Even my brother's hair looks damaged in the hospital's lighting. Behind him, Skyler is wearing much more simple clothes than at our last meeting with the director. She seems fairly normal now.

"Hello, Maya." Skyler offers a smile. "Are you ready to go?"

I nod, looking to Nurse Matthas for confirmation. She nods. "You haven't done much walking, you gonna be okay?" I scoff. It's not like I forgot to walk. "All right, all right." The nurse backs off, smiling. 

She reaches out, taking my right hand. Skyler gently takes my left holding onto my upper arm. Carter nods in front of me, in case I fall. I take a deep breath, putting both feet on the ground. In one quick motion, I swing my hips up, flinging myself out of the chair. Standing.

And then I'm falling.

I feel my left foot go numb, needles pricking the skin. I try to jump onto my other foot, but I'm not fast enough and end up falling forward. While I'm busy thinking I'm going to die, I feel arms lock under my own.

We stand for a second, everyone in shock. Carter and I breathe heavily into each other. Finally, he speaks up. "We're not doing that again." As much as I want to agree, I can't go my whole life without walking. The burns snaking across my feet are on fire, begging Mr to take the pressure off.

"She can't leave if she can't walk."

I squeeze my eyes, pushing further into my brother's grasp. "Aya," he whispers softly. "One more time." Without letting me respond, he lets go, grabbing onto my hands instead.

My legs start to shake. Carter nods, shaking his blonde hair all over the place and giving me his goofy smile. I can't spend another day away from him.

Besides, it's just walking, right? I tentatively pick up my left foot before taking a light step across the slick floor. Carter keeps holding on as I take a few more steps.

And then I stop. The useless tube on my face has gone as far as it can and is now jerking on my face. I let out a pained sound, until it releases. "Sorry, Maya, the tube got caught on the chair." A huff escapes my lips while I reach back and yank the tube forward. Without looking back, I can tell the oxygen tank is rolling towards me. The solid tank running into my calf confirms my thoughts.

"Can I leave now?" I grumble impatiently.

Nurse Matthas chuckles. "Your brother can take you out, I need to talk to Ms. Skyler, all right?"

"Whatever."

She rolls her eyes at me before gesturing for Skyler to follow. Carter lets go of my right hand, regaining my attention. "Ready?" I nod in response.

He starts first. Taking careful steps, making sure I'm fine, pulling the oxygen tank, even untangling the tube, which I've yet to figure out how to balance while walking. I follow close behind my brother, favoring my right foot, since it got the least of the burns. "Are you sure you don't want the wheelchair?" Carter asks for what must be the hundredth time. I plant my feet and glare up at him. "Whatever. I'll never understand what goes on in that stubborn mind of yours, Aya." 

Even though the comment is said in a sarcastic manner, I can't help but lift my lips into the tiniest smile. I'm just glad to be back with my favorite person.

. . .

"That was certainly eventful," Skyler mutters, closing the front door to her Jeep. It slams so hard I'm surprised the neon blue door doesn't fall off. "Next time I'll bring backup."

"It wasn't really my fault that kid tripped over Maya's nasal whatever-it's-called," Carter protests.

"Nasal Cannula," Skyler corrects. "And you're right. But you didn't help by letting your sister yell at his mother."

I slump down a little further in the backseat. Skyler's tone makes it seem like this was my fault. Anyone would've yelled if an adult told them not to walk around with "invisible tubes" in the air. If I could breathe by myself, I wouldn't be wearing it.

Skyler and Carter continue to argue in mumbled tones. I stay out of it completely.

I watch them walk towards the building without me. Rolling my eyes, I kick the gravel driveway. "Sorry!" Carter calls back, jogging over to me.

He throws my arm around his shoulder, kissing the side of my head before starting to walk. Walking on gravel is terrible. My feet sink into the ground, causing me to trip and nearly die a few times.

Eventually, we make it through the front doors. The first thing to stand out is the colors. The walls are covered in paintings, drawings, photos of kids, it's all so colorful. Carter drags me, and my oxygen tank, down the hallway. My eyes linger on each piece of art hung on the wall. Some have names, others don't. None of them should be able to draw me in like this, leave me wanting the story behind them.

"Maya," Carter ushers. "I'm at the end of the tube. When I look away from the wall, Carter is a good thirty feet away from me. "C'mon." He's abandoned me to walk on my own, which isn't working out too well.

With a grumble, I put my right hand on the wall and start to limp towards Carter. He takes my arm once I'm close enough and helps me hobble down the hallway. Skyler comes around the corner, scaring the shit out of me, nearly causing me to fall backwards.

"Maya, you're in room 7. Rooms are on the second floor, I'll take you."

She takes my oxygen tank in her hands. I look reluctantly at Carter. He shrugs and drops my arm. I glare at him as Skyler takes my hand and pulls me down the hallway.

In contrast to the main room, everything leading to the upstairs access is bland. It's like the nostalgic joy of the entrance has been sucked out of the rest of the building. They really went for a monotone scheme.

Skyler talks the entire elevator ride to the second floor. We create a system. She talks, I ignore, and the elevator goes up.

But as soon as the doors open, I'm hit with a wave of stimulation. Noise, colors, smells, children, everywhere. Some kids are on the floor, some are painting, some are watching some blinding TV show.

"Do you want to talk to them?" Skyler asks. I quickly shake my head. "All right, your room's this way."

I trudge silently down the hallway, keeping my eyes glued to the ground. Noise is flooding the building, most of it sounds of excitement, others upset. Either way, the building is much louder than I'd like.

"Okay, room seven." Skyler's voice is loud, turning everything else into background noise. "I'm not sure if the girls are in here right now," she explains as she knocks on the white-painted door.

The girls? As in other people? In the same room as me? No, thank you. I want to tell Skyler that I can't share a room, but a voice comes from inside before I can.

"Who is it?"

"Skyler and your new roommate," she answers.

The girl grumbles. "All right, come in."

With a smile, Skyler opens the door and heads inside. Since she has my oxygen tank, I have to follow.

The room is definitely more relaxed than the rest of the building. With soft brown walls, three beds, three desks, and a closet, it's simple but seems to do its job. On the bed to the left, the girl who let us in is sitting with a book in her lap.

"Aven, Maya. Maya, Aven." Aven offers up a tight smile.

"You get that bed." She points towards a bed pressed up against the back wall. A window with curtains drawn tight is positioned in the center of the bed, taking up most of the wall space.

"Aven, you want to give Maya the basics?" Skyler asks, in a less-than-discreet tone.

Aven narrows her eyes at the woman, as if daring her to do something. "Fine, whatever." She sighs, gesturing towards the door.

We watch as Skyler prances out of the room, comparable to a gazelle. Aven is staring straight at me when I turn back around. Her green-flaked eyes seem to follow my every move.

"Now that Sky's gone..." she trails off, muttering the rest. "Aspyn has the other bed, she's my sister, she's in the hospital right now." I blink in response, only half listening. "Anyway, I want to finish this, so let me know when you want to know the basics. Trust me, it'll be better than Sky's spiel."

My head moves in a robotic nodding motion, before I start to move to the bed. The only thing I have on me is my oxygen tank. Carter said we have to clean out our house with things to keep with us. Most of the other stuff will go with Grams and Abba afterwards. A grey backpack is laying on my bed, though. I don't recognize it.

I want to ask, but when I look up, Aven is already smirking at me. "That's your stuff. Sky and the staff make sure to get things to make you feel comfortable." I scrunch my eyebrows, earning a sigh. "It should have hygiene crap, some clothes, snacks, socks, the fluffy ones, and probably whatever you need for that thing on your face."

I shoot her glare. Even in a situation as overwhelming as this, I still can't bring myself to talk. Not only does it hurt, but I don't want anyone to hear me. Hear my thoughts or feelings. So I zip my mouth shut.

"Okay, real quick," Aven starts. "This floor, rooms, playrooms, kids shit. Bathrooms have 4 private stalls with showers and sinks, medication is locked up in the cabinet. Kitchen is downstairs, but there's also a big table on this floor. We usually eat there. Important things are on the whiteboard, and talk to Sky or one of the staff if you need anything." She pauses briefly to breathe. "Got it?" I nod.

"By the way, Aspyn and I are fourteen and we've been here, on and off for about a year. Asp's in the psych ward right now, monitoring for two weeks. She'll be back in three days."

I nod to show I understand. I can't help but wonder if the reason the twins are here has anything to do with Aspyn being in the hospital. Aven continues to stare at me before a cocky smile appears across her face. "Staring for a reason?" She quips

I'm caught so off guard, I hardly acknowledge the girl across from me. In response, I roll my eyes and flop down on the bed.

There's been no time to process all that happened. The hospital is never quiet and nobody has told me the full story. Where are my horses? When can I see them?

"Hey, what's that thing on your face, anyway?" The younger girl asks, flopping onto her stomach. I look in her direction, turning one eyebrow up. What a little bitch, pointing out the nasal cannula after she's known me for ten minutes. Great."The tape on your face," she points. "It's ugly." Oh.

I roll my eyes, not planning to explain. She keeps pushing, though. "Seriously. that tape sucks." Aven pauses, looking deep in thought. "Wait one second." The younger girl slides off her bed and darts out the door. Confused, I wait until she comes back, this time carrying a blue-tinted box.

"These," she tosses them onto my bed before sitting next to me, despite my silent protest. "Are Aspyn's. They were mine at one point, too, we share, but that's not important. I'm gonna fix this tube, okay?" I don't respond, assuming she'll go ahead anyway. "Turn around," Aven instructs. 

With a reluctant sigh, I shift slightly, turning so my back faces the teenager. "I'm going to take the tube off really quick, and attach it in the back." I like being told what's going on, especially because I don't trust Aven whatsoever. "Done." I turn around again as she starts digging through the box. "Its the one fucking thing in this place that isn't locked up. Apparently no one will OD on adhesive." The way she says it, with a smirk, but no hint of humor in her voice sends chills down my spine.

"Alrighty, so you want a sunflower or Winnie the Pooh?"

"The bear," I croak out. Her eyes go wide.

"Woah I thought you were mute." I shake my head. "Cool." She tugs the plastic off of the tape and holds it out to me. I take it and awkwardly stare at it, unsure what to do. "Oh, here," she mutters, taking it back. "Can I...?" She trails off, gesturing towards my cheek. In response, I turn my head to the right. I close my eyes, her warm fingers falling just below my eye, and the adhesive sticking onto my cheekbone. "Mmkay, done." She sits back, admiring her work. "Much less ugly."

Immediately, she stands up and walks to the door. "Gotta go, see ya." And with that, she opens the door and walks out.

           A while after Aven leaves, Carter comes into my room. I continue to lie on my bed, facing the wall, completely frozen. "Hey, Aya." He whispers, thinking I'm asleep. I raise my shoulder, letting him know I'm not sleeping. "Skyler told me not to tell you anything, but... you have questions, right?"

For a second, I don't move. I can't decide if I should speak, or stay silent, or even lie. My decision ends up being a small nod.

Carter sighs in response. "Okay. Okay, what do you want me to tell you?" I shrug, not making any effort to engage. "Mom and dad?"

"Mm," I squeak the noise out.

"I didn't get to see them," he says. "I only found out a few hours before you did. The doctor said they were crushed when the barn collapsed." I blink away a tear as Carter pauses. "I talked to Gem... The horses are up at WEC for now. We have to rehome the ones that survived."

Rehome my horses? First my parents, now my horses? This has been one hell of a birthday week.

"Gem said they're all pretty wound-up. They probably want to know what happened to their friends..." My nose scrunches as I let the words sink in. Who are they missing?

And just like that, my body lets go of the single string of hope holding onto Pheonix. I gather enough courage to whisper, "What about Wonki?" He has to be okay. He has to be away from the flames. Safe from Pheonix's fate. He has to be.

"I'm so sorry, baby," Carter whispers. My ears start to ring so loud that I slam my hands over them, wanting to bring my knees up to my chest. But they won't move.

I choke on the air going into my lungs. As the string breaks I can hear the sounds of the barn collapsing, the walls closing in around me, the smoke stinging my eyes. It all comes rushing over me like a tsunami wave.

I gasp for the air stuck in my throat. My chest tightens itself against my will, twisting and turning into tighter knots until I can't breathe at all. My lungs still beg for air as I start to curl into a ball, tucking my knees up to my chest. Everything aches, and I can't find an escape. While I start to rock back and forth, I catch Carter's eye. He looks terrified for me, watching the panic settle in my body.

Wonki's gone. He's gone and I'll never see him again because he's dead. He's dead and it's my fault. It's my fault he was inside, it's my fau;t everyone was inside. It's all my fault. And now the love of my life, my heart horse, the pony that raised me in the competition world, is gone. Forever.

The thought of my beautiful gelding being dead turns my stomach every possible way. Before I know what's happening, I roll to the side of the bed and retch. Tears begin to stream down my face, angry that I held them in so long. Sobs rack my body as I continue to empty the little contents of my stomach. Finally, all that comes out is air as gag, gasp, and sob.

It feels like the world ended for a second time. Not only my parents and Pheonix, but Wonki... the only thing I loved more than the world itself.

I tuck myself back into a ball, while the voices in my head cry for help. To end this nightmare. There's only one way to do that... And I can't help but hope something can take me out of here.

•    •    •

apparently, we can't load media, ots impossible, it's too hard for wattshit. poor poor.

anywho. uhm there's our chapter! sorry it's honestly pretty short lol. i tried, i promise.

now, i gotta go plan m's parent's funeral for chapter three-

adios.