(tw: self-harm)

Asteria Edwards couldn't breathe.

As if her lungs bearing all those shaky breaths, her eyes holding all those tears over the years wasn't enough. As if her skin burning alive with all the wrath she always suppressed wasn't enough. The universe just had to give her something more to mourn about..

Of course, she had heard it just now. Her life was supposed to be cursed.. full of misery..

For the first time, her mind had been completely blank. Silent. Deprived of all the voices that taunted her every day.

And for the first time, she had realised that she would rather have chaos filling every inch of her, than a soundless void that made her choke on her own emptiness. She didn't want that void, it troubled her.

How could something so supposedly vacant cause such unbearable pain?

She went the way her legs carried her without another thought. And Isabella Diggory's world collapsed right in front of her eyes, again.

"No.. No, Ria. Honey.." She begged, following her, but Ria's pace increased with every call of her name. "Ria, please— you— you have to hear me out—"

Not her.. please, not my Ria.

"I will explain everything, I promise!" She pleaded as fresh tears raced down her face. "I won't ever hide anything from you, please, just listen to me—" Her tired, red eyes widened when her daughter slammed the door close behind her.

"No— No! Sweetie, please talk to me.. Just give me one chance to explain.. I'm— I'm sorry!" Isabella fumbled hard with the doorknob, banging on the door while her heart felt like it was about to burst out of her chest.

She couldn't lose her again.

She was trying every unlocking charm she could remember. But none worked. It wouldn't.. She realised. Ria didn't want to see her.

Behind the door, Ria was pacing back and forth in her room. Her entire body was shaking; her mangled emotions were making the things around her tremble against the ground. And although she would give her everything to calm herself any other time, was it really going to work, today?

'What a shame.. Asteria Edwards..'  said the voice in her head, disappointed. 'You were graced with such gifts, and yet.. such a pathetic case you turned out to be..'

Ria closed her ears shut with her hands, hoping that the voice would leave her head. The ache in her body felt like it was seeping down to her bones. She cried for mercy, feeling as though she was literally being split apart.

'You call me the bad guy, huh? Guess why they came to your house, that night?' The voice asked. Her cries died down, and she unwillingly listened to the voice as she hugged her own frame. 'To get you..'

There was a slight pause. 'And guess who paid the price?'

Ria shook her head. No, don't.. please..

'He died.. because of you.'

Asteria's dug her nails into her arms, letting out another shuddering cry.

'And you just.. dishonoured his sacrifice.. just like that? I wish you were never my father? Isn't that what you wrote?' The voice mocked the words from her letter. 'God, he must've been so heartbroken..'

"Stop.." Ria weakly muttered, her voice quivering as if she had been placed in ice cold water.

'Daniel Edwards died trying to protect you..' Ria shut her eyes close, trying to avoid the voice, but she couldn't. 'So did Kora Diggory.. And so did poor Cedric..'

'Don't you get it?' It taunted her again. 'It's been you.. all along. You cursed, filthy, disgraceful little freak!'

"STOP, PLEASE! STOP!"

At her shriek, the panic on Isabella's face heightened. "HONEY, OPEN THE DOOR, PLEASE!" The woman banged on the door harder.

Downstairs, Harry had fled from his seat in panic. Ron and Hermione, and eventually everyone else, followed him despite Molly's shouts.

In between taking huge gulps of air and cracking her knuckles over and over again, Ria's eyes snapped onto the satchel.. where the crumpled letter from her 'father' rested. She walked towards it, scavenging through the books to find it, and once she did, she stared at the letter with burning rage in her eyes.

You wrote that.. didn't you? She asked the voice in her head. Who else would do such a cruel thing?

The door opened with a bang, Ria stood up straight in alert. "Leave me alone." She snarled, eyes red that matched her mother's.

"Ria.." Isabella slowly walked into the room. "Just give me ten minutes. Please. I— I didn't mean to hide it from you.. I'm sorry.."

"I said.. leave.. me.. alone.." Ria's eyes glowed golden with wrath. Her mother's eyes flickered to her hand, which had a glowing mark too. But then she saw the piece of parchment held in it.

"Wha— What is that?" She asked.

"Why should I tell you?" Her daughter retaliated. But Isabella cast a quick, unnoticeable Summoning charm, and the letter flew to her hand. This frustrated Ria even more. "What is your problem?!"

"Ria.." said Remus urgently, appearing behind Isabella along with Sirius. "Dear.. Whatever she did.. It wasn't her fault—"

"You are no one to tell me that!" Asteria yelled at them. "So this time, don't you dare come in between me and her!"

As Isabella's eyes skimmed through the letter, the air in her lungs seemed to vanish. "No.. No, no, no, Ria.." She cried out desperately. "Don— Don't believe whatever this is.. It's not Daniel.. It's not!"

"Of course, it's fucking not, Mum! I know that now!" cried Ria. "He's dead, isn't he?! He— He died because of me!"

Sirius saw a glimpse of raven-hair from the corner of his eye, and he immediately stopped Harry from getting inside the room. "Sirius.. What is going on— I heard— I heard her scream— Is she alright—"

"Harry! Harry, no.." Sirius said, but he cursed under his breath when all the children appeared too. "You need to leave us alone for a while." He said, grabbing his arm as he walked towards the group of children. "You all need to— Molly! Molly, a little help, please!"

"Everyone downstairs, now!" The woman commanded as she hurriedly climbed the stairs.

"I'm not leaving Ria!" Harry fought Sirius back.

He sighed with exasperation. "Harry.. I'm glad you're thinking about what I said— but this is not the time. Trust me."

"No— No! It.. It wasn't your fault—"

"Why should I believe you?" questioned Ria, stepping back, wanting to stay as far as she could from Isabella. "Why should I believe any of the shit you say?"

"Daniel.." Isabella couldn't stop crying. "He.. He loved you with all his heart, honey.. He.. He never.. ever had any doubts about you. You meant so much to him.."

"Then why did you hide it from me?" asked Ria, her voice breaking because of the lump in her throat. "You told me you were separated.. that you tried to contact him.. but couldn't. You've been lying.. all this time.. And I.." she placed a weak hand on her chest. "I hated him.. when.. when he.. because of me.."

Isabella shook her head quickly. "Ria.. it wasn't your fault.." She closed her eyes, regret spilling out. "It was.. It was mine.."

Ria only stared at her. "I— I know.. that somewhere.. somehow, his death was my fault.." Her mother cried. "It was— It was my curse that took him away. And I'll never— ever— forgive myself for that!"

"But I.. I loved him." She whisper, with regret.. as if she would've chosen to stay away if she could. But she had been too weak for that.. for being away from him. "I loved him with every part of my cursed existence.. just as.. just as I love you, honey. You two were some of the only blessings I ever had in my life.."

Ria heaved again, eyes filling up. Liar. Liar. Liar. Liar.

"How do I know you're not lying to me again?!" She bellowed. "How do I know what else you're hiding from me, huh?! Dad's— Dad's dead? We're Azraels? And Lagarde— she's your mother?" she asked in disbelief.

"What next? Did you— Did you even want me in the first place? Or have you just kept me because I remind you of Dad? How do I— How do I even know if you're my real mother?!"

That question broke Isabella's heart. "I.. I am, Ria.. I really am, I swear." she answered desperately. "I— I'm sorry I did this, but I— I just wanted to protect you."

"Protect me from what?!" She laughed humourlessly. "You haven't protected me from one goddamn thing!"

"Sweetheart—"

"Did your lies protect me from any of the shit that happened to me?! No! Did your lies save me from being a target for Voldemort?! No! Did your— Did your pathetic lies prevent Cedric from dying? Hell no!"

"I know I—"

"Just—" Ria gave out an exasperated sigh as her frustration kept on increasing with every passing moment. "Just leave.. Leave, right now."

"Ria, please—"

"Lord, no!" She yelled out in anger. "Can you— Can you respect me and my wishes one damn time?!"

Isabella ran a frustrated hand through her hair and pushed it away from her tear-stained face. "Can you maybe listen to me for one moment?!"

"No, I can't!" Asteria yelled back, and the furniture around them started hovering in the air. "And I don't want to! In fact, I don't ever want to hear any fucking thing from you! I don't even wanna hear your voice! I don't wanna see your face! You've ruined my life! I hate you so fucking much!" She sobbed.

Isabella cowered under her screams, appearing heartbroken. And the wounds from her love's death, that had somewhat healed when she had found her daughter, began to sizzle with burns again.

"Don't.. Don't say that.." She whispered, a look of hurt all over her face. "Please, don't say that.."

Ria tugged at her hair, feeling anger completely take over. "Why?! Honestly! How did you not expect it? After spitting so many lies in my face?!"

"You're— You're telling me that— that the first seven years of my life— the happiest years of my life were fake! Like— What do you want me to say?" She asked in disbelief. "Oh no, anyway! It's all in the past! I forgive you! Goddamn it, woman, that's not how it works and you know it!"

"I— I know! I know!" Isabella cried. "But— But I had reasons, honey—"

"Merlin.." Ria started with a humourless laugh as she looked up at the ceiling. "How are you that dumb? How do you not realise?" Everything that had been floating fell back on the floor with loud thuds.

"Why do you hate Dumbledore so much, Mum?" She asked, and her mother stared at her in confusion. "There was a time you loved Remus and Sirius.. Why— Why do they infuriate you now?"

A look of realisation dawned on Isabella's face, and Ria nodded, her lips quivering as she tried to calm her inner beast from bursting out. All of it made sense, somehow..

The way those seven years of her life had always felt like a blur.. Those turned out to be fake memories.

The way teachers looked down, avoiding her gaze whenever they mentioned her father.. He had left, but not in the way Ria used to think. He had really left.. with no possible way of coming back.

The look of the Hogwarts staff after finding out that she was a Seer.. They had seen Lagarde in her.

The hate she received from her Housemates; especially the word 'freak' that surfaced every now and then. Maybe they had always known that she was an Azrael.. born different from the rest. She was supposed to turn out bad, like every other wizard of her kind.

She was nothing like them.

Ria slowly nodded. "You hid my true self, my true identity, from me. What you did to me.. is the same thing Dumbledore, Remus and Sirius did to you all those years ago.."

Isabella's hand slowly raised to her mouth as her eyes burned with tears again. No.. She never meant to do that..

"And what did that lead to?" She asked, walking up to her. "You losing your loved ones.. And me losing my brother."

Ria wiped a lone tear away angrily. She pointed an accusing finger at her mother. "And I blame you for that.." she said, her voice breathy and tired.

"I hate you, Isabella Diggory. And I don't want to see your face, ever again."

When Ria dropped her hand, it was like a gust of wind had pushed Isabella out of the room and shut the door close. 

She stood aimlessly in her place, thinking that maybe she had finally calmed down. But all the conversation from before, the lies of her mother; all that replayed again and again and again in her head.. so many times that she just gave up.

Her weak frame collapsed on the floor, back against the wall, and she pulled her knees close to her chest. Even words couldn't describe how tired she was of her life.. she felt completely drained.

She gently rested her forehead on her knees, hoping she would somehow fall asleep, and then wake up to all of this being a dream.. to her being back in 2020, stuck at home in a pandemic, attending Muggle school, playing football with Sean and his friends and going to her favourite superhero movies with her mother.

But when she opened her eyes, she was still there.. around all the mess she had caused. And then it hit her.

Then she couldn't stop those tears that ran down her face, or those sobs that hurt her already-sore throat. If there was a way she could confront fate to ask what she had done to deserve this, she would leave everything behind to chase the answers. Because she didn't know if she was potent or willing enough to continue this unfair game.

Isabella tossed and turned restlessly in her bed. It was past midnight, and she hadn't had an ounce of sleep for days. 

People had told her it was normal. Maybe it was, but she didn't know. She knew what had taken her sleep away. It was only one question.

Was this a mistake..?

A harsh cry made her sigh with tiredness, and she prepared herself to get up. But a hand on her arm stopped her.

"I'll take her.." said Daniel's raspy voice as he patted her forearm softly. "Go to sleep." And with a quick kiss on her temple, he left the bed to go to Asteria's cradle.

Isabella rested her head back on the pillow, and only watched as her fiance lifted their daughter in his arms with a fond smile on his face. It made her feel somewhat better again.

She watched them for minutes.. as Daniel rested Ria's tiny frame against his chest while he walked around the room.. as he cradled her, rubbed her back, hummed to her, and repeated all that until she was finally asleep again.

Even though their three-month-old daughter had taken almost thirty minutes off Daniel's sleep, when he put her back in her cradle, his eyes looked at her as though she were the most precious little thing in the entire world.

Lord, did he adore his little Belle.. his mica stea with all his heart..

Isabella's joyous gaze moved away from them, and then tears started to blur her vision. Yes.. she now had a life that she had always dreamt of.. a family of her own.. but at what cost?

"Belle.." Daniel's voice made her quickly dry her tears away. He strolled to her side of the bed, concerned.

Isabella looked up at him with a questioning look. "Hm..?"

He kneeled down on the floor. His blue eyes appeared broody in the dim room, but when he cupped her face and ran his thumb over her wet cheek.. tears gushed out of her eyes, again.

"Please, talk to me.." He whispered, forehead creased in worry while his voice was just as gentle as his touch.

Isabella sat up in bed, while Daniel stayed kneeled on the floor, looking up at her. She intertwined her hands with his and held them close to her body. And when she did that, Daniel immediately moved closer.. as if assuring her that he was here, with her.. that he wouldn't suddenly disappear the way he did in her horrible nightmares.

"We.. We aren't wrong for this, are we?" asked Isabella hesitantly.

Daniel stared at her for a blank second. "For what?"

"You know what I'm talking about, Dan.." She answered.

He pursed his lips. "For Ria?" He asked, and Isabella nodded.

"What if she turns out to be like.. like me?" She asked, nervously biting her lower lip.

He raised an eyebrow. "Like you?" She nodded at his question.

"Well then, I'll assume the heavens must have picked me to be the luckiest man alive.. Because, Merlin.. is it already a privilege to have you be my darling—"

Isabella smacked his shoulder, but that small, cheeky smile on his face made her lips curl for a moment. "Lovely.. but not the moment."

Daniel nodded, his smile disappearing, but the sincerity on his face and the love in his eyes remained unaltered. "Like you, Belle?"

She nodded. "Like me.. An Azrael.." Even though they had talked about this before, she couldn't stop thinking about it.

"Has the Azrael's Curse ever stopped you from accomplishing everything in your life?" He asked. "Has it ever stopped you from truly being you?"

"It has never stopped me.." She answered. "But it did give me many abrupt pauses.. And it will eventually, maybe soon.. stop me.."

"No." he whispered, shaking his head as he pulled her hands to his lips and left gentle kisses on her skin. "It won't if it's broken before the time comes."

"No one's broken an Azrael's Curse before.."

"Then you will." He answered, his voice laced with desperation and confidence. "You will.. If it came to Ria, she will too. And I'll give you two whatever you need.. everything, if it came it."

She rolled her tired eyes in annoyance. "It's— It's easy to say, Dan.."

"I know." He stopped her. "I know.. But that doesn't mean anything will stop me from trying.."

"Maybe.." She said, her voice breaking. "Just maybe.. we shouldn't have done this, Dan." She said in all honesty. "I love you, I do.. and I love Ria.. but maybe we did make a mistake."

"If I had been a little less selfish.. Azrael's bloodline and the Curse would have ended with me.. I was the last of them, after all.." Isabella trailed off, looking down at her hands as tears streamed down her face. "But now Ria.. she'll— she'll have to suffer.. because of me—"

Daniel left the floor and took a seat beside her, letting her cower and hide in his arms for a while. She had always been this fiery little warrior that battled the trouble, the judgement that came with being an Azrael. And he was beyond proud of that.

"What if I fail to keep her safe?" She mumbled, sniffling soon after, while he stroke her hair comfortingly. "She's done nothing wrong, Dan.."

"She hasn't.." He agreed, his heart breaking for his two sweethearts. "And neither have you.."

"And I promise you, my love.." He said, kissing her head reassuringly. "I will protect you two.. with every bit of me. We'll go through this together."

Isabella hid her face in his chest, and Daniel squeezed her into a warm hug. "I will fight for us.. for Ria.. for you.. for the fairytale ending you've always dreamed of.. And I will keep fighting.. until I run out of breath."

She hugged him tighter, her tears now pouring onto his shirt. "Don't say that.."

He kissed her forehead, but his lips lingered on her skin as he said, "But I thought you loved fairy tales." And though tears were still spilling out of her amber eyes, she let out a chuckle. 

Merlin, she really did love this man with all of her.

With all those conversations, all those memories playing on the inside, Isabella Diggory was as still as a statue on the outside.

Then, the image of Daniel's lifeless body invaded her mind.

"The hate.. and then the love.. The Curse and the tragic ending.."

She still remembered Jade Carrow's taunting voice. She still remembered the way she felt when she had said those words.

"Doesn't it all feel like a fairytale for once, Diggory?"

"You know what I learned about those.. Muggles.. while I was showing them their place..? All those fairy tales that you heard of.. They're fake. Yeah.. They always get the lore wrong."

"And the real ones? They never really had a 'happily ever after'."

"Well, lucky you.. At least you got to live your so-called fairy tale with Edwards.."

A hand on her shoulder broke her free from her terrible memories. She breathed out in relief once she saw Sirius and Remus. "Hey.."

She slightly scooted in her place until she was in the middle of her bed. Then she went to her previous position again; back and head against the wall while her knees were hugged close to the chest.

Her two friends exchanged looks before sitting beside her. Their always-cheery aura now seemed depressed, hunched under tremendous burden.

Remus, not knowing what to say, just kept a comforting hand on Isabella's. He wanted to apologise. But he wasn't sure any apology was going to fix the way she was scarred.

Much to his surprise, Isabella accepted the comfort. She gripped his hand as a lone tear escaped her eyes. But she quickly raised her other hand to get rid of it.

Could she really be mad now? Knowing she had done the same to her daughter? She was just as guilty as they were.

"You know I—" She chuckled helplessly. "I was— um— planning on visiting Dan's grave.. on the 28th of this month.."

Remus looked down, not being able to look up at her. 28th of December.. It was the day, in 1981, that Daniel and Isabella were supposed to get married.

Clearly.. that didn't happen.

"Never had the courage before, you know?" She clicked her tongue in disappointment. "To go and see him after we came back.. But this time.. I really thought I could do it."

"Turns out, I'm not brave enough.." She sniffled. "I'm not brave enough to show him my glorious face after I brought Ria back here.. back to this Hellhole.. where she was supposed to, I quote 'fulfil her destiny'.." she chuckled sarcastically.

"But then.." Sirius broke his silence. "You aren't the one to let others suffer. No matter how lost you are.. you'll always return to the right path."

Remus nodded in agreement. "If you could take the world's responsibility on your shoulders, you would. There's no stopping you."

"I wish I could get rid of that urge.." She answered. "Like.. for fuck's sake, I'm not a God. I think I can handle every fucking thing.. but I can't."

"When for once.. I tried to think about myself.." She continued. "I tried to do what makes me happy.. My Azrael fate took it away from me.." she sniffled again. "Took both of them away from me.." she chuckled humourlessly. "First, I lost Daniel.. and now.. now Ria.."

There was a slight pause, where she took a shaky breath in. "Where did I go wrong, man?"

"You weren't the one to go wrong, Bella.." answered Sirius. "We were.."

"And we know.. no amount of apologies is going to fix this.." He continued with a heavy heart. "But we're sorry... We're truly sorry. If we were given another chance, we would've changed it.. No matter what the cost.. we would've.." He trailed away, quietly wiping his tears.

Isabella shook her head. "People of my kind are meant to lose the things we love the most, no matter what. We are meant to be drained until we lose ourselves.. and then.. it all ends." she scoffed, looking down at her hands.

"Your scar.." said Remus, looking at the mark on the side of her neck. Many people called it 'the mark of Azraels'. Every Azrael had the scar etched somewhere on their skin.

That mark on her neck was the most noticeable thing about Isabella Diggory while she was in Hogwarts. In fact, it was what had made Jemima and William Diggory take pity on her and adopt her. It was so easy to notice. So naturally, most of the wizards of her time knew she was an Azrael just by one look.

"It's fading away.." He mumbled, his tone a mixture of worry and fear.

She bit her lower lip and nodded. "I know.."

Harry quietly knocked on Ria's door. It had almost been an hour, and he had absolutely refused to leave the corridor, until he had made sure she was okay.

The moment after Ria had shut Isabella out, a hurricane had seemingly erupted inside. He had heard her screams, and cries, and the loud noises of things being thrown against the wall. And Harry couldn't remember the last time he had felt so panicked.

It all felt so unreal; especially Ray hiding such big secrets from Ria. He hadn't expected it from her. But at the same time, he didn't know how to feel.

Yes, he had heard the entire fight because even after Molly had tried to pry him away; he had stayed. He had stayed for Ria.

And it was shocking to hear; Daniel Edwards's death, Lagarde being Isabella's mother, and them being Azraels?

He was confused about the Azrael part. He didn't know much about them, leaving the fact that they were considered to be some kind of taboo in the Wizarding World; like a black sheep. No one tried to speak much about them, thinking that their Curse might bring them bad luck too.

He had heard how much Ray had suffered. And she wasn't wrong about trying to protect Ria, of course, but that didn't mean her way was right either.

After turning the knob for what seemed like the umpteenth time that hour, his attempt finally worked. He finally breathed out in relief as he entered the room. The atmosphere inside was like a storm-struck place; a dishevelled mess surrounded by the air of silent melancholy.

Most of the stuff in the room was broken, windows and mirrors were shattered, curtains were torn apart, the furniture was all out of place. And in the space between the bed and the windowpane sat Asteria.

She sat with her back leaned to the wall, surrounded by the shards of broken glass and a big stain of blood beside her. She gazed out of the window with her reddened, dull blue eyes and tear-stained face, unaware of the small cut on her cheek, and bleeding knuckles. There was a familiar brown bottle in her hand. And by the way she carelessly held it, anyone could tell it was now empty.

Harry quietly closed the door behind him. Ria did not react. She was too occupied by the snowflakes that floated outside the window. 

She was so angry.

Her Dad had promised her that he would always be watching over her through the stars..

Had he known perhaps when he had said those words to her? That someday he would leave them both behind? Was he already prepared to risk his life just for their sake?

Much to her dismay, the reunion of the father and daughter had been interrupted by the invasion of dark clouds that night. She couldn't find a single glint of hope in that sky. Why do you leave me alone when I need you the most, Dad? She thought.

I'm sorry for those hurtful words. But can you blame me, though? I didn't know.

She leaned her head against the wall and stared at the sky longingly. Could I see you now, please?

She was so deep in her thoughts that she hadn't noticed Harry sitting beside her on the floor until his arm brushed against hers. She stared at him for a quiet while. After a good moment, she realised how much she needed him there. She left her place and climbed onto his lap.

The bottle hit the floor with a loud clunk and cracked, while Ria rested her head on his chest and hid into his arms like a scared child. He snaked his arms around her waist and pulled her closer, hugging her tight as his hand soothingly skimmed up and down her back.

He pulled his handkerchief out of his pocket, and after checking if it was clean, he summoned the water bottle and the first aid kit in the room. Ria watched blankly as he poured some water on the handkerchief.

"Could you look up at me, love?" He asked, and she did as he said. Something inside him churned after seeing her bloodshot eyes. But he just gulped nervously and combed her hair out of her face. "Thank you."

It was a wonder that she didn't feel anything when the wet cloth hit her slashed skin. But then again, feeling numb after having such an amount of Draught of Peace wasn't really a surprise.

Ria kept staring at his concentrated face as he cleaned the wound on her cheek and then moved to her bloody hand. She could see the worry in his green eyes, and she couldn't help but feel horrible for making him feel this way.

"What happened?"

"I thought distracting myself from the pain would help calm my outburst." She mumbled, remembering the way she had furiously punched her knuckles on the ground till they felt numb. "Clearly.. that didn't work."

He caught her uneasy gaze and decided to change the topic. "The last time I saw that bottle of potion, it was full.." said Harry calmly.

"Was it?" Ria asked back, her voice timid.

"Hm.. Maybe I don't remember." He answered, and she nodded, pleased with the answer.

Truth was.. He remembered pretty well. He had lied so he could make her feel slightly better. But now that she had consumed an entire bottle of Draught of Peace, she was as honest as a drunk, heartbroken teenager.

He still didn't know the entire story, except for some points. But he wasn't going to ask that. He was here to aid her, to comfort her, to be there to hold her when she needed. Not to rub salt on her wounds.

Harry gave her waist a small squeeze, as if asking her to get up. "Mind if I help you up on the bed?" He asked.

Ria shook her head frantically with a frown and hid her face in his chest again. "Don't.." It was as if she was holding onto dear life. "Stay here. Please?"

He dropped the handkerchief to a side and wrapped his arms around her. "Okay.. Okay. We'll stay here, yeah?" She nodded, feeling relieved as she left a sigh. "How do you feel, love?" He mumbled into her hair.

"You want an honest answer?" She muttered in a slow, tired manner, and he nodded.

Ria clutched his shirt into fists. "I feel fucking stupid.." Warm tears washed down the cut on her cheek, but again, she felt no burn. "So.. so fucking stupid."

Harry said nothing, he just pressed a kiss against her head. "I trusted her, Harry.. I trusted her blindly for so.. so many years.. She betrayed me."

"It was so damn obvious all the time." She said, tiredly chuckling and shaking her head. "Her ignoring my questions.. interrupting someone when they tried to answer.."

"For fuck's sake.. She said my powers were because of my bloodline.. passed down from generation to generation.. just like how the Azraels were supposed to have.." she shook her head, disappointed with herself. "Wasn't that hard to figure out if I wasn't drowning in my own delusions all the goddamn time.."

"I dreamed.. of a perfect life, you know?" Asteria softly smiled, staring into blank space, as if envisioning her dream. "I would buy a.. a cosy cottage of my own.."

"It would be a lone house.. beside a quiet lake.. with a perfect view so I.. so I could admire the stars. And— And the lake would light up with their reflection too.. It would be so beautiful, wouldn't it?" she chuckled, and for her sake, he nodded.

"I would be a— a professional Quidditch player—" but then she paused. "I just don't know which team though— I mean, I could handle any team if I've handled Slytherin, so no big deal— anyway—"

Harry would have chuckled if the situation was different, but that didn't stop the small smile that appeared on his face. He just couldn't resist her.

"I would play professionally for some years.. And then— then, maybe return to Hogwarts after retirement.. I could teach Astronomy.."

"And it would be me, you, Cassie and Hedwig. Our friends and family could visit every weekend.. We'd have a fun get together, surrounding a bonfire, having some— some posh dinner.. or maybe some pizza and s'mores. But we'd be happy with either, right?"

The smile on her face faded away. "But I'm.. I'm an Azrael.. I can't have it." She whispered with a tinge of fear, and he hugged her tighter, wishing he could somehow take this burden off her chest.

"I'll have to watch my back.. all the time.. because my life's supposed to be full of bad luck, apparently? Just.. watch out twenty-four-seven to make sure I don't fucking die out of nowhere.. Or—" she chuckled in disbelief. "Or spend all my fucking life trying to find a solution to break the Curse.. which apparently no one has done before.."

"So. Fucking. Great." She wore a wide grin. "Wouldn't you say?"

Though her grin faded away with some kind of realisation. She had inherited the Curse from her mother.. That meant.. The air in her lungs had suddenly disappeared.

All those attacks.. where her mother had almost died were.. were just Death's play.. to fulfill the Curse..

Asteria pulled herself together with a sharp intake of breath. No, she lied. I don't care.. I don't believe her anymore.

Harry sighed in desperation. "Ria—"

"Dad lost his life.. trying to protect me.." she sniffled, her head slowly falling on his shoulder. The excessive amount of potion had started to show its effect. Ria was losing herself to her tiredness.

"And— And I just wrote him a damn letter saying I.. I wished he was never my father.. that I hated him." She said slowly, angry at herself. "No loving father would like to hear that, right? He must've been so hurt.."

"And then— then Lagarde?" said Ria, feeling herself succumb to a ginormous cloud of guilt.. and sleep. "She's— She's a part of the reason you.. you lost your parents.." Her vision began to blur. "She's destroyed so many lives.. including my ‌own.."

"I'm like her.. I'm— I'm a Seer.." she said, her voice low and steady, but filled with hatred. Her mind was shutting down due to all the tiredness. "But— But I don't.. want to be like her.. She's.. She's bad.. She's evil.."

She left a shaky breath. "I won't be like her.. Please.. Please don't leave me.. Harry." She breathed out her pleas, tears pouring out of her tired eyes. And his heart ached at the desperation her voice contained.

"Please.. I promise.. I won't be like her.. I'll be good.. I'll prove them wrong.. Just.. please.. don't.." That was all she could mutter before sleep completely took over her.

But before any wave of relief could wash over Harry.. realisation struck him like lightning. He could feel his heart sinking.

"I'll have to watch my back.. all the time.. because my life's supposed to be full of bad luck, apparently? Just.. watch out twenty-four-seven to make sure I don't fucking die out of nowhere.. Or— Or spend all my fucking life trying to find a solution to break the Curse.. which apparently no one has done before.."

"So. Fucking. Great. Wouldn't you say?"

His arms were still around her weak, insecure frame, but he was zoning out because of everything he had heard.

No.. No, no. Maybe.. maybe she doesn't know about Azraels properly yet. They're not talked about that much. Maybe it's just a misunderstanding. She.. She couldn't..

All this time.. there was this one thing he had feared. And that was losing his Ria..

And now..?

He gulped anxiously, feeling a shiver creep down his spine.

Ria's grip on his t-shirt loosened, and she wrapped her arms around his torso instead, just the way she did every time Harry needed her to be there for him. It was as if she had involuntarily programmed herself to comfort him.

He hastily ran a hand through his hair. What are you doing, Harry? He scolded himself. This is not the time to be sad. She needs you. Get yourself together.

His hand involuntarily moved towards the chain around his neck; Ria's Christmas gift. He took another look at the locket, and the words made his face break out into a small, sad smile.

A silver metal pick that said 'I pick you'.. Only Ria could get away with such a gift.

Now that he looked back at all the time they had spent together, he could see a definite pattern. 

Their love language had always been cheesy gifts and corny one-liners. They had started it as a joke in third-year, just to mess with each other.. but now it felt endearing. Harry loved it. He loved all of it.

"I'm sorry, Ria.." He whispered, gently stroking her hair, knowing just how much she loved it and how much it calmed her. She melted into his touch, hiding her face in the crook of his neck. "I'm so sorry.. that I don't know how to stop it.."

"But that doesn't mean I'll stop trying.." he continued. "Doesn't matter where it'll take me.. I will never stop trying."

He loved the way she looked at him. He loved the way she held him. He loved the way she bantered with him. He loved the way she didn't give a damn. He loved the way she was madly in love with the stars. He loved to play Quidditch with her. Hell, he even enjoyed seeing her win.

If only she could see him through his eyes.. she'd fall for herself too.

Harry loved to talk to her. He loved to hear her voice. He loved her touch. He loved to look at her face, her eyes, her lips, her.. her entirety.

She was just so fucking beautiful.

In every damn way.

"I promise you.." said Harry. "I won't let you down."

"I will break your Curse, no matter what the price. Because you are worth it.. You are worth every-damn-thing, Sunshine."

She was his Star, after all.

"I love you, Asteria Edwards. And I'd be damned if I let you lose."

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

[word count: 6347]

a/n: well :) now that we're all caught up
none of you know what's about to come next hehehe