╰┈➤ ❝ [Maybe I've stormed out of every single room in this town] ❞

"FINE, IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE US then I'll prove it to you." It was like an unknown force had taken over her body and before any of them knew it she took Han Seo-jun's cheek in her hand to make him turn to her and going up on her tippy toes she leaned forward pressing her lips against his in a kiss.

Han Seo-jun momentarily froze on the spot but he was quick to shut his eyes. This perhaps wasn't real and it was all just a product of his wild imagination. His mind tricking him into hallucinating that something—that desire he had buried beneath all those layers of confusing feelings was happening. He shut his eyes because this wasn't really happening and sooner or later reality would sink in and prove all of this wasn't real.

Though literally seconds later when reality did sink in and he actually focused on the feeling of Kim Ji-an's lips against his and the way they perfectly molded with each other, he knew it was real.

It had to be.

Hesitantly, he placed his hand on her waist tilting his neck down to deepen the kiss as he started kissing back. In this moment he allowed himself to forget about everything, forget about what had gotten him here in the first place and forget about Lee Su-ho. The only thing he allowed his mind to focus on was Ji-an and how warm her lips and body felt pressed against his. How warm and right everything felt. Like finally being basked in sunlight after not having left your home for over a week. It was overwhelming in the best way.

He had to relish in this feeling for as long as he could because this would never happen again. As much as he could wish for the moment to last forever he knew it wouldn't. This was a one time thing and he should consider himself lucky and thank the stars for this one in a million chance. Ji-an was not kissing him because she loved him, in fact she never would.

He had always known but even now after such moment it was like the universe wanted to again remind him of it. Because when the two pulled away from the kiss, Ji-an's attention wasn't placed on him but in the empty spot where Lee Su-ho was standing moments before. Her face contorted into an expression of disappointment and she looked around but the boy was nowhere in sight.

Seo-jun wasn't stupid. He knew this might've ruined everything by the way Ji-an was avoiding eye contact with him. He watched as she ran a hand through her hair a conflicted look on her face before she uttered something that shouldn't have hurt as much as it did.

"I'm so sorry, that was a mistake."
Not waiting for his response, Ji-an walked through the gates of her house and away from him, leaving him standing underneath the dark night no longer feeling warm.

↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷

Guilt and shame was the only thing Kim Ji-an felt as she laid in her bed licking a lollipop she had taken from what she had personally designated as her candy drawer. Since little it had become her habit to eat candy anytime she felt nervous or sad. Her phone was still in hand after she had ended her call with Soo-ah and Soojin. Right when she entered her room she called them explaining everything that happened. She had to do it if not she might have turned insane with the million thoughts running through her head.

She had kissed Han Seo-jun, her ex best friend, in front of her ex boyfriend just to prove a point. She had kissed Han Seo-jun without his consent, without asking if he was comfortable with it.

Soo-ah and Soo-jin after very much freaking out with the news, had reassured her that Seo-jun wouldn't have returned the kiss if he hadn't been comfortable with the situation, but Ji-an knew better. She knew Seo-jun better just enough to know he could be capable of a lot of stuff if it meant getting under Lee Su-ho's skin. It was proven when he had fought with Su-ho in the cafeteria. Kissing her back would do just the trick on riling up Su-ho, so just because he had returned the kiss it didn't necessarily mean he had been comfortable with it.

The girl let out a groan, the sound getting muffled by the lollipop in her mouth. Everything regarding the situation was not okay. Han Seo-jun probably hated her now if he already didn't before. The boy had never even had a girlfriend and here she had kissed him-

Wait. Han Seo-jun has never had a girlfriend before SO DOES THAT MEAN-

Kim Ji-an immediately sat up from her bed her eyes wider than they had ever been before. "Oh my god! Was that Han Seo-jun's first kiss?!!"

With the closets pillow around, she began beating her face with it. "Stupid. Stupid. Stupid, Kim Ji-an! What did you just do?!"

Grabbing her phone she clicked on the chats before clicking on Seo-Jun's contact. She blankly stared at the screen, her fingers hovering over the keyboard wondering if she should send a text. After minutes of debating, she typed a message.

— Kim Ji-an 9:08pm

Hey, I just want to apologize
for what I did. I know I overstepped your boundaries and I'm very sorry. I understand
if you don't want to talk to me again
but before you make that choice
can we at least settle it in person? It's the weekend so we can meet at the park if you want. Again, I'm so sorry and I hope you can forgive me.

Hitting send, the girl fiddle with her bracelet, swirling the lollipop in her mouth as she not so patiently waited for a response. Seconds, minutes, and then hours passed and still no response from Seo-jun. Throughout this time, Ji-an had taken a shower and had followed her nightly routine before settling back in bed. Her eyes started getting heavy her body exhausted from the day and right before she fell into a slumber her phone vibrated on her nightstand. Taking her phone in hand she saw Seo-jun had responded and she immediately let out a sigh of relief as she read through it.

— Han Seo-jun 12:20am

It's okay, don't beat yourself
over it. I'll meet you at the
park at 1:00 pm. Good night, Ji-an.

Listening to what Seo-jun said, Ji-an send a quick response back before shutting her phone and placing it back where it was. The message didn't give much away into how he was feeling. Just because he had agreed on meeting with her it didn't mean he had forgiven her, but for the moment she didn't continue overthinking and just allowed sleep to overtake her, unaware of what her dreams had on hold for her.

↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷

"Kim Ji-an? School is over we have- What's wrong? Why are you crying?" An eleven-year-old Lee Su-ho asked while he crouched down in front of his friend who he had found crying on the floor of an empty classroom. At her friend's voice, the girl looked up showing her tear stained cheeks and red eyes. Instinctively Lee Su-ho leaned forward about to wipe away her tears but the girl stopped him by moving her head away. Her cheeks now turning even redder but this time because of embarrassment.

"Hey, Ji-an. Tell me what's wrong." Despite his words, the younger girl shook her head, avoiding eye contact with the boy in front of her.

"Aren't we best friends? We're supposed to be honest and not hide any secrets from each other. Tell me what happened so I can help you." He said in another attempt of getting the girl to talk. His words seemed to have done the trick this time because Ji-an finally made eye contact with him. Her quiet sobs had faded down into hiccups but the tears had continued to fall.

"I um I failed my math test again. I'm sorry. You're probably mad at me now." Ji-an whispered, feeling ashamed of herself but even more ashamed of facing Lee Su-ho. The boy had been tutoring her for the past week in an attempt to help her get her grade up. She had studied very hard for the test and even stayed up until late to make sure she memorized everything but it had all been in vain because no matter how hard she tried she still wasn't good enough.

"Mad at you? Why would I be mad at you?" When he tried to wipe her tears again, this time the girl allowed him.

"I know you were expecting me to pass and I didn't."

Su-ho let out a sigh, "I could never be mad at you. I know you tried your best and that's what matters. You'll have many other opportunities to do better in the future."

"Really? You really think so?" She asked, her voice full of hope and eyes shining with admiration and love. She looked at him as if he held all the stars in the world, all the answers to her questions, the solutions to her problems. They were young and still had a lot to learn but everyone could see how much the pair cared for each other.

The sparkle in their eyes when they looked at each other and the wide smiles that would take over their lips when the name of the other was mentioned. It was a love so sacred so pure that no matter the years that'll pass the importance and meaning of it could never be taken away.

Nodding, Su-ho smiled and stood up to offer a hand for the girl to take. "Now, come on. I have something to show you."

Kim Ji-an giggled through her sniffing and took his hand. "What is it?"

"It's a surprise so hurry!" Hand in hand the two walked out of the school. They were supposed to have head straight to their houses but getting home a little later than usual wouldn't hurt anybody. Their parents wouldn't even notice the difference, too busy with their work to pay attention to their kids.

Ji-an followed after Su-ho letting him lead her out of the school grounds and to another path she had never gone before. The two walked away from the usual road they took, straying farther from the busy city. The path they were taking lead them to one of the parks located away from the city making Ji-an assume that's where he was taking her but when he walked past it and towards the woods behind it, she turned to the boy confused.

"Where are we going?"

"We're almost there don't worry."

There was a strong sound coming from the trees but Ji-an couldn't exactly point out what it was. They walked for what she felt like hours but had only been a couple of minutes. After walking through the woods and passing a series of large trees they came to a clearing their vision no longer full of green leaves and high longs, but instead they were met with a large body of water. The sound the girl had been hearing came from the water crashing against the rocks. The river's water was crystal clear moving down the current messily but efficiently.

"Wow, it's beautiful." On top of the vibrant green grass, flowers of different kinds decorated the ground. The sun shined over their figures and on top of the river, not having the tall trees provide shadow over them anymore.

"My mom used to always take me here when I was younger. Specially on days when I didn't feel good and needed something to cheer me up. It always worked, and still to this day it does." Su-ho's smile held pain as he turned to look down at the girl. "I saw you crying and I couldn't help but want to take you here. Maybe it could help cheer you up as well."

Kim Ji-an smiled leaning forward to embrace Su-ho. "It did. Thank you for sharing this with me."

↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷

The next day was beautiful, blue sky clear of any clouds disrupting it's smooth shade of blue. You could see the sun shinning down from its place up in the sky, illuminating the day with a warm golden light. The trees had a variety of vibrant shades of green and some leaves fell from them landing softly on the pavement because of the blowing breeze that made an appearance every once in a while. The park was full of kids running around with their parents watching after them and of owners playing with their dogs or walking around with them.

It was the perfect day to be out.

The day was absolutely perfect but for Kim Ji-an that was the least of her concerns. Her main priority was Han Seo-jun. Like they had agreed she got to the park at 1:00 pm and she took a seat in one of the benches the park had as she waited. Five minutes later, Ji-an didn't need to turn around to know that the roaring sound of an engine was Seo-jun.

The couple of minutes it took him to approach her, the girl grew more nervous than before. She had gone over multiple times on what she was going to say to him in order to be forgiven for her thoughtless behavior but it seemed like all those words had erased themselves when the boy took a seat next to her. Ji-an looked down at her hands and cleared her throat, feeling like a child about to get scolded for breaking something they weren't meant to touch in the first place.

If she wanted to show her apology was sincere she had to look at him in the eyes so mustering the courage, she turned to her right to find Han Seo-jun with his attention already on her. His expression lacked any give away on what he was thinking and that only made the girl more anxious. Clearing her throat for a second time she began her apology.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She swallowed the lump on her throat. "I was stupid and careless and I didn't think before I acted. You probably hate me right now and I completely understand. I didn't think of how you'll feel or if you were comfortable or not and ended up overstepping a line I wasn't supposed to cross. We don't have to continue with the lie of us dating if you don't want to and even if that's the case I'll continue doing your homework as an apol-"

"Kim Ji-an." The boy interrupted succeeding at stoping her rambling.

"What?" She asked, her hand swirling her bracelet side to side as a nervous habit. When Seo-jun noticed he removed her hand from her wrist to stop the action.

"I told you to not beat yourself over it. It's okay. If I hadn't been comfortable I wouldn't have kissed you back so please stop apologizing." He heaved out a sigh, shifting his attention to some kids on the playground. "It's already in the past so let's just forget about it and act like nothing happened."

The problem was that nothing was entirely okay. Nothing could be forgotten even if he tried forcing himself into it. The feeling of her lips moving against his could not be something he'll allow himself to forget. Her hand holding his cheek as they shared the same breath would always be engraved in his memory, in his heart, in his soul. Nothing was okay and it would never be because she would never be his.

Having to say those words made his heart painfully clench in his chest and as much as he wanted to scream at the universe for doing this to him, he had been the one that had chosen this predicament. Years ago he was the one that took too long to notice his feelings and now years later he was the one that had agreed to help Ji-an make Su-ho jealous. Only he was the one to blame and only he would be the one suffering.

"Do you actually mean that or are you agreeing to continue just because you want to get back at Lee Su-ho? Because I don't want you to say you were comfortable with it when you actually weren't."

A stern look was directed her way. "Kim Ji-an, I'm serious. I was not uncomfortable so please just drop it."

Usually Ji-an was used to seeing an annoying and arrogant side of Han Seo-jun but now the look on his face and the seriousness in his voice left her stunned. Through her surprise she slowly nodded. It wasn't often she got to see Han Seo-jun act in a serious manner about something specially something related to her. He clearly didn't want to continue talking about the subject and Ji-an would respect his decision. Mistakes were already made by her and she didn't want to make matters worse.

"Let's take a walk." The girl stood from the bench and with a jerk of her head urged him to follow her. Unsure he went after her the two walking side by side through the park's walking track. The sun felt warm against their skin making Ji-an thankful for having put her hair up in a ponytail. Kids in bicycles and skates passed by them yelling at each other about who was the fastest and who would win the race.

With their eyes, the two teenagers followed their retreating forms, their minds suddenly shifting focus from where they were at and welcoming with open arms a memory of simpler days. Days where there was no worrying about the future but just living in the present. When their top list of concerns was getting allowed to spend five more minutes outside with their friends. Simpler days where sorrow and complicated feelings were a foreign thing in their life's.

The sight of the kids caused Ji-an's trail of thought to fall back to her dream and why her subconscious mind decided to show her that specific memory. She wouldn't call it a reminder given the place was a constant thought in her mind, even more so in moments when she felt overwhelmed with unpleasant emotions.

Though going back frightened her more than she'll like to admit. Every each and every single one of the times she had been to that lake it had been with Lee Su-ho. The thought alone of going there without him felt immensely wrong, so she never brought herself to go.

"Even if I wanted to break things up, we wouldn't have been able to." Seo-jun said, placing his hands in his pockets. "My sister told mom about us dating and now she wants to invite you over for dinner. Before you say anything just know I tried convincing her that it wasn't necessary but she wouldn't take no for an answer and I also feel guilty for lying to her so I agreed."

"Oh. We should've seen that coming." Ji-an sighed now feeling worse than she did before. Over the span of being friends with Seo-jun, Mi Hyang became like a second mother to her. Lying to Su-ho and her classmates about dating Seo-jun was one thing but lying to Mi Hyang was another. "When is it?"

"She said she has to go grocery shopping first and she usually does it towards the end of the month, so probably in a week or two."

As an acknowledgement to his words, the girl hummed only allowing her gaze to move towards Seo-jun when she remembered something. "I was thinking if we are going to continue with this, to prevent things like what happened yesterday we should set some ground rules."

This grabbed Seo-jun's attention making him turn to her with curious eyes. "Ground rules?"

"Yeah, that way we can know what each of us is comfortable with and know what lines not to cross while doing this whole fake dating thing." She explained.

"We should do it."

Nodding, Ji-an opened her purse in search of a small notebook and pen she kept inside in case she or someone else needed it. After looking for a little while, she found it and waved it in front of Seo-Jun's face. "Let's start then."

Seeing a picnic table underneath a large tree she guided Seo-jun towards it and the two took seats opposite sides from each other. Staring at the blank page, Kim Ji-an decided to try lighten the mood believing that if they went back to their usual bickering and ability to annoying each other it would disintegrate the heavy atmosphere that had settled between them.

So, as she began writing, she said, "The first rule and most important one of them all is, No Falling In Love." She cheekily smiled down at the paper, unaware of how Seo-jun's eyes widened at her words. "I'm literally irresistible so let me know if it gets too hard for you."

A scoff left Seo-jun, his eyes narrowing at the girl. "Shouldn't I be saying that? Have you seen me? I'm tall, handsome, and have a great personality. Anyone would fall for me, sweetheart."

He found himself playing along, but the way his heart had dropped to his stomach when those four little words had escaped her mouth had him wishing he had ditched this whole thing and had gone home. He knew Kim Ji-an was just joking trying to diffuse the tension which in another circumstance he would've been grateful for, but now it was just like adding fuel to the already raging fire in his heart.

Ji-an leaned forward resting her cheek on the palm of her hand. "I'm literally a model."

Now it was time for Seo-jun to smirk. "Could say the same thing."

The girl's eyes widened. "Wait, really? Since when?"

"A couple of days ago I did my first photoshoot."

"Are you liking it?"

"Yeah, it's not as bad as I thought it would be. I'm only doing it to get some extra money, though. I don't see myself doing it in the long run."

"What? Scared you'll loose your handsomeness later on?" Her words caused an eye roll from Seo-jun making her laugh.

"Ha, funny. We're getting off track." Seo-jun moved the small notebook towards him and snatched the pen from the girl's hand. "Second rule: No Kissing."

Ji-an nodded, "I agree but won't people get suspicious if we don't show any sign of affection? Shouldn't we at least hug, hold hands, or give kisses on the cheek?"

Seo-jun looked up from the paper internally wondering why he was doing this to himself in the first place. All to what? Make Lee Su-ho miserable? For all he knew the only miserable here was him, despite this he kept up with his act.

"I didn't know you were that desperate, sweetheart."

"Oh, shut up!"

Sighing, Seo-jun asked, "Are you okay with doing all of that?"

Ji-an nodded, "I am if you are. It's nothing we haven't done before. "

"Right." He wrote down the three exceptions, reading over them more times than a normal person looking for misspellings would because Ji-an was right. Hugging, occasionally holding hands, and kisses on the cheek were stuff they used to casually do before. Before when they were actually best friends.

Because now their relationship was underneath an unnamed label.

Neither of them knew what to call the dynamic the two had built. Yes, things had gotten better since Kim Ji-an had return. Years ago it was impossible for the two to be close to each other without wanting to rip the other one's head off. Now they were able to talk more without constantly arguing over superficial stuff and they could joke around, but things weren't the same.

The level of trust that was there before had been broken and they could pretend all they want but the only way to bring a name to that blank label was talking about the fallout of their friendship—but ignorance is bliss. For the mean time, the two would continue scribbling with no ink over that label.

——————— ↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ—————

—Joy

4.1k words!

It started and ended pretty angsty huh? I hope I was able to touch you guys and portray what the characters are feeling like I wanted to. I just want you guys to understand all of their perspectives. The reason why I wrote the kiss in Seo-jun's pov is because right now he's the only one in love.

Ngl I struggled to write the ending of the flashback. That was the last thing I wrote cause if not I would've stayed stuck there. 💀

Also you guys finally know the context behind the tittle of the book. Did you guys expect that?

I really hope you guys still enjoy this book and please let me know what you think. I love seeing people spam with comments.

Love you lots and see you next time ❤️