┗━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━┛

Night hangs over the camp and stars spreads over the sky. I used to love staring at the stars. Their different patterns that create beautiful mystical images like the one that looks like a dragon, stretching its powerful body over the night sky.

But the stars also reminds me of life outside the walls. I refuse to believe that the only thing outside the maze is a void of stars and nothing else. There must be life. We cant be the only people in the world. I have no recollection of what the world outside this looks like but I want to believe that it's beautiful. It can't just be a lifeless abyss of darkness. There must be life, someone has to have put us here but as much as I ponder I can never find a reason for why someone would do such cruel things to children.

I draw a sharp breath. I have to get out before my thoughts eat me up from inside.

I swallow hard and tear my body from my mattress of piled blankets. That is one of the pros of being a medjack- you get a real bedroom where you can sleep in privacy, unlike the others who sleep in hammocks in the same area. Not that I usually sleep much anyway. I endure with the mere hours of sleep that I get per night.

No matter how much I try, I can't bring myself to sleep for longer. Despite living far away, shielded from most things, I hate not being in control and when I am sleeping I have absolutely no control at all. I'm not even sure what I fear can happen but the fear that something can happen is enough to keep me up.

That and the nightmares that are more like flashbacks of life before the maze. At first, the flashbacks felt like a blessing. It would give me an image of life before. But the flashbacks are the same every night - brief individual images of things that make sense on their own but I can't string them together into a coherent picture. Every image is filled with pain, agony, and fear and leaves me to wake up sweating and panicked.

I open the door to my hut and let the night breeze brush over my bare arms. I have another hour, give or take until the rest of the boys wake up and I need the time alone.

I drag myself over to the tower, located in the middle of the glade. I make my way to the top, where I sink down on the edge, letting my feet dangle over it as I stare at the horizon. My hand rests on my necklace as my fingers fiddle with the silver pendant.

The morning air is thick and goosebumps inhabits my skin at the chilling breeze that blows past me. I take a deep breath letting my eyelids fall over my sight.

I press myself against the wall behind me. My heart is racing and my lungs tighten making me gasp for breath. The alarm blares in my ears for a moment before the doors slide aside.

A scream leaves my mouth as I see the silhouettes in the doorway and I press my body harder against the surface behind me.

I scream and plead for them to get away. Tears flow down my cheeks at an unstoppable pace but I give up on even trying to control them.

One of them reaches out for me but I twist my body around and flee to the corner of the room. Pressing myself against the wall, I collapse in a storm of tears and screaming. The men tower over me, surrounding my small body and leaving me with nowhere to run.

I cry out as two strong hands grip my arms so tight they are bound to leave a bruise. I kick and scream violently as they begin to force me out of the room. The third man walks behind us with a large gun in his hands. I plead for his help but his eyes remain plastered right in front of him.

"Please! Please don't make me go back!" I cry. My tears are a mixture of fear and rage. I keep punching, kicking, and doing anything to make them let go. "Don't make me go back!"

Their grip on me tightens and I cry out in pain as I am being pulled over the floor. I watch as my room gets further and further away. I'm being dragged backwards but I don't have to look behind me to know where I'm going.

"Please! I can't do it! Not again!" I scream, squirming and kicking under the men's grasp on my wrists. "Don't make me go back!"

I slam back into reality. My hands cling to the wooden floor that I am sitting on, my nails digging into the wood so hard my knuckles whiten. I realize that I have moved closer to the edge and is now sitting inches away from a ten-foot fall. I push myself away from the brim, startled by what just happened. Sweat beads my skin, replacing the goosebumps that had covered it earlier.

I finally allow myself to breathe, drawing harsh and unsteady gasps for air. Not even when awake can I escape the flashbacks. Or thats at least what I think it is. The same scene has played out in my head many times before to the point where I am convinced it is a memory and not just my own imagination.

"Are you okay?"

I jump at the voice next to me. My eyes dart to him and clamp my hand over my chest feeling every panicked heartbeat.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." The Greenie says, looking deeply concerned as he climbs out of the hatch in the floor, leading to the top level of the tower.

"Yeah, well you did," I mutter at him and watch as his expression twists. I don't mean to be rude but I am not the one invading another's privacy. "What are you even doing up here?"

"Couldn't sleep so I went for a walk and saw you up here. You looked like you were about to jump or something." He stutters slightly. "Just thought I'd... you know check on you. I don't know."

I stare at him. After all, he is just trying to be nice.

"I'm good." I don't sound convincing at all. And my words are icy.

I look away allowing him to awkwardly stare at me.

"Why aren't you asleep?" He asks. It is like he wants to see how many times he can push my buttons until I snap. But I remain calm, hoping to end the conversation as soon as possible.

For a swift moment I ponder on giving him my truthful answer. "I'm not tired." I lie and push away the temptation to give him my real response. "When you've been here for a while, you're used to getting rarely any sleep."

I keep my eyes plastered on the towering stone wall in front of us as I feel his gaze lingering on me as if he can tell that I am lying.

"You should sleep," I say, finally turning to face him. "Long day tomorrow."

"I've tried. I can't." He says.

"We'll try harder." My tone remains firm, emotionless. I have no desire to talk to the boy, but his company isn't all bad since I am scared that I will return to the flashbacks if he leaves me alone.

A thick silence falls upon us and my gaze trails back to the boring grey wall. The awkwardness is evident as the moon and suddenly falling from the tower doesn't seem to be all that bad. At least it will put a stop to this agonizing silence.

"How do you become a runner?" The boy's question startles me so much, that a laugh escapes my mouth before I have a chance to stop it.

"Cute." I giggle but Thomas's face remains serious and my laugh soon transforms into a scoff.

His face doesn't do as much as move a muscle. He stares at me with full seriousness as he awaits an answer. I roll my eyes. I didn't come out here to teach.

"Haven't you plagued Newt with enough questions today?" I huff.

"He never answered. Told me no one wants to become a runner. But I want to." He continues to stare at me through calm eyes.

My gaze hovers on his face for several moments as I ponder on what to tell him. I exhale a deep and annoyed breath and lean back, holding myself up with my arms. "Me and Minho decide if you have the chops to be a runner." I look at him and he stares back at me with full interest. "But don't get your hopes up, Greenie. No one's ever made runner in their first month."

His expression slumps slightly.

"You should stick to farming." I eye him before a voice cuts through our conversation, coming from the ground.

"Thomas!" A voice whisper yells. The two of us look down to the ground under our feet to see Alby. He furrows his brows and places his hands on his hips. "Vanya?" He stares at me in confusion before shaking his head and shifting his attention to Thomas. "Get down from there. I wanna show you something."

The other boys are still asleep and I instantly understand where Ably is taking Thomas. The name wall. Located on the right wall of the Glade. He takes every Greenie there.

The name wall is the wall where every Glader writes their name. It is also the wall where we cross over the names of our fallen Gladers. It is a way to honor the people we have lost. The Deadhead, which is the graveyard at the glade isn't exactly a great way of honoring the dead. It looks more like a scene from a horror film. Located far away, hidden within the thick trees with poorly built graves.

Thomas sends me a quick awkward smile as he walks down the ladder. "Thank you, Vanya."

Thank me? I stare at him with a hint of confusion on my face which he clearly notices.

"For taking my mind off things." He explains further. I give him a quick nod and my lips curve into a smile, so briefly he might not even have noticed.

We have only talked for less than half an hour so I'm sure why he's thanking me.

I remain in my spot at the top of the tower watching as Thomas and Alby walk over the field as my fingers fiddle with my neckless. Thomas glances back at me over his shoulder and his gaze holds mine for several beats before Alby says something that causes him to turn back around.

I roll my eyes. Greenies are weird.

𝟏𝟖𝟑𝟏 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬
┗━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━┛

𝐚𝐯𝐚 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐬!!
cuties.
┗━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━┛