"Cause I've made some real big mistakes,
but you make the worst one look fine."

MY HEART POUNDED RAPIDLY AS I ENTERED THE BEACH HOUSE. I knew Conrad, was somewhere around the house. I wondered if he was still being painted by Mom, or was already done and chilled alone just to be ready to hear my shouting.

The house's insides were silent, there was no one home except me. I peeked through the kitchen's window, spotting Conrad and Mom, talking to each other. They both laughed as they spoke, but tried not to over the boy, being painted at the time.

I sighed, deciding to not interrupt the moment over how happy Mom, seemed. I just went upstairs to try and calm down as best as I could, even if that wasn't what I wanted.

A couple of hours had passed, and everyone was home already. I hadn't come outside since I arrived, but I could hear everyone's voices downstairs. They were wondering about me since it was getting late, but I was too angry to care. The sound of footsteps approaching my room only made me sigh, waiting to see who it was.

Laurel: "There you are, when did you got home?" -she asked, taking a sit on my bed.

I took a look at the woman, fidgeting constantly with my hands nervously.

Nova: "A couple of hours ago, I just feel a little sick...that's all."

Laurel: "Oh...do you want me to tell Susannah, about it?" -she worried, touching my forehead to check my temperature.

Nova: "No it's okay, I took some medicine just in case. I think it might be just because of work, I did a lot today."

Laurel: "Okay, then. Let's go downstairs, I made some food."

I nodded, quickly standing up from my bed, to put my hair in a bun before heading out. Laurel, waited patiently outside for me, so I tried hurrying up.

When we arrived downstairs, I met eyes with Steven, who ate peacefully on the dining table. No one else was downstairs, instantly making my eyebrows get grinned.

Nova: "Where's everyone else?"

Laurel: "Belly's upstairs with your mom. Your brothers...I actually don't know." -she replied, serving some soup on a plate carefully.

Steven: "Jeremiah and Conrad, are starting to get your books set up on the car."

Laurel: "I told them not to do that yet, those two can't take "no" for an answer." -she grunted, handling me the plate gently.

Nova: "Thank you." -I whispered, receiving a smile from her.

I walked towards the dining table, taking a seat right in front of Steven, who glanced at me weirdly. My eyes tried to avoid meeting with his, since I knew there was going to be a lot of questions asked if I even peeked.

Laurel: "I'm gonna go upstairs to check on, Belly and Susannah."

Steven: "It's okay. Thanks for the food, mom."

Laurel: "No problem." -she smiled, jogging upstairs eventually.

I was then left alone with Steven, the ambience felt slightly tense. Thankfully it wasn't the awkward ambience. He just seemed tired over work, I guessed.

Steven: "Hey, I-I need to ask you something." -he spoke, instantly making me get stif over how nervous I felt by just hearing his voice.

I looked up to the boy, seeing how he was already staring at me. I raised my eyebrows to allow him to continue speaking, hearing him sigh.

Steven: "Umm...I sort of know what your conversation with Tate, was."

Nova: "What?" -I asked, widening my eyes instantly.

Steven: "Yeah, I'm sorry. I just...I just know he left you at the beach and I know why."

I dropped my spoon inside of the soup, glaring at the boy, completely angry. He instantly raised his hands up trying to calm me down, soon after getting startled by me standing up from the table abruptly.

Steven: "Nova, wai-"

Nova: "Save it." -I snapped, walking away from the boy, to make my way upstairs, once again.

I walked throughout the hallway, hearing Belly's laugh getting closer to me. The girl, eventually exited my mom's room, quickly smiling by just seeing me.

Belly: "Hey, where've you been?"

Nova: "Nowhere...I was just in my room resting." -I lied, looking behind the brunette one, to see Mom, staring at us happily.

Susannah: "Doesn't she look amazing?"

Nova: "Yeah, she does."

Belly: "I feel like it's too much for just a theater-drive in though." -she speculated, entering my mom's room once again, being followed by me.

She looked at herself in the mirror continuously, applying some lipstick on her lips gently. Seconds later finally finishing while Mom, put her shoes on. Her smile made all of us grin with her, over how amazing she looked.

Susannah: "You look really cute. You're gonna have so much fun tonight."

Belly: "We're just going to see a movie." -she mentioned, making my smile fade away.

Nova: "Wait, you're not coming to the book party tonight?"

Belly: "Uh, no. I have a da-"

Laurel: "You look nice, hun." -she interrupted, receiving a smile from Belly, who kept staring at her reflection.

Susannah: "I can't believe crop tops are back. Remember how I thought I was such hot shit in that baby tee I wore freshman year?"

Nova: "I still want that shirt so bad." -I commented, hearing Laurel's laugh.

My eyes scanned Belly, after seeing how happy she looked. Her cheeks kept on getting red in a matter of seconds, practically making me grin with her. I've always loved her smile, it was one of the most contagious smiles I've ever seen.

Susannah: "Have fun tonight." -she giggled, receiving the lipstick Belly, was applying.

Laurel glanced over to Belly, confused while readjusting some stuff on her purse.

Laurel: "Are you not driving with us?"

Belly: "Um..."-she mumbled, glancing over to Mom, nervously as she placed her phone on the back pocket of her pants.

Mom, stood up from her fancy chair filled with excitement, placing her hands on the girl's shoulders sweetly.

Susannah: "Didn't Belly, tell you? She has a date." -she grinned, almost cheering literally.

Nova: "Oh my God, Bells! Congrats, I can't wait to hear the details."

I then winked at the girl, receiving a glare from Mom, who shortly after laughed.

Belly: "Sorry, Mom. Um, his name is, Cam."

Susannah: "Yeah, his mom works at the club."

Nova: "Oh, yeah I've met him before. He's really nice, Laur." -I mentioned, smiling over to Belly, who agreed while still looking nervous.

Susannah: "Really nice boy, very smart."

Belly: "Like, Harvard smart." -she added, making us laugh.

We all observed Laurel, noticing how shocked she looked at first. I could tell she was feeling nostalgic in someway, maybe she couldn't believe how much Belly, has grown already. Her head shook a couple of times, later on began to move up and down.

Laurel: "It's fine. Of course you can go. I've dragged you to enough of these book parties over the years. Have a great date." -she laughed, grinning at the girl, proudly.

Belly: "Thanks."

She then made her way towards the room's entrance, adjusting her hair carefully. I followed her tracks, while helping her put on a necklace.

Laurel: "Do we need to talk about consent before you go?" -she asked, just when I had finished placing the necklace on, Belly.

I chuckled by the woman's question, seeing how Belly, instantly got red.

Belly: "Mom." -she mumbled, walking off quickly while pulling me with her.

We walked through the hallway, laughing over the question that had just been asked. Belly, glanced my way with frowned eyebrows, making me stop to look at her confused.

Nova: "Is everything okay?"

Belly: "Yeah, it's just...you're acting kinda weird. Are you okay?"

Nova: "I'm fine. You know, I'll be honest. I'm kinda mad at Conrad, at the moment. I need to talk to him...I just haven't found the right moment to do so."

She nodded a couple of times, gently caressing my shoulder to reassure me.

Belly: "I'm sorry to hear that, if you need to talk. I'm here, okay?" -she whispered, making me smile by how sweet the girl, was.

Nova: "You're truly the best, you know that right?"

Belly: "Oh, I know that." -she joked, flipping her hair back in a sassy way.

I laughed with her as we headed down the stairs, hearing in the distance what sounded like an argument happening. I then was quick to realize it was the boys, playing video games.

I sighed while arriving downstairs, only observing how they all sat lined up in the couch. All of them very focused on the video game they were currently playing.

Belly: "See you guys later." -she spoke, making Jeremiah glance back to go fully amused after seeing, Belly.

His mouth opened widely, almost seeming to be drooling, literally. He dropped the console's control down, while smiling brightly.

Jeremiah: "Damn!"

Nova: "Oh, God." -I mumbled, making Belly, laugh.

The boy, approached the both of us rapidly. And the sound of scoffing on the distance, could be heard right behind him.

Steven: "Are you kidding? No. Yeah, fine, just abandon the game completely, Jere." -he complained, being completely ignored by, the curly head.

Jeremiah: "You...look...hot."

He complimented, spinning the brunette one, around as she laughed. I only smiled by how cute their friendship was, noticing how Steven, turned around annoyed.

Steven: "Hey, hey, hey, stop flirting with my sister."

Belly: "Shut up, Steven."-she snapped, rolling her eyes in the process.

Steven: "No, you shut up. Well, you look good, though."

I smiled by the boy's comment, later on making it fade away as I remembered our last conversation ending kinda bad.

Jeremiah: "You driving with, or are you meeting us there?"

Belly: "I'm not going to the book party. I'm going to the drive-in." -she grinned, fidgeting with her hands nervously.

Nova: "She has a date."

Jeremiah: "Oh yeah? With who?"

The girl, was about to answer, but the sound of her phone ringing gained her attention. We both watched how she read the notification, later on seeing a smile bloom on her face.

I then caught Conrad, staring back at us, making me grin my eyes his way. He didn't noticed since he was staring at Belly, fully focused.

Steven: "Dude, dude, focus. Come on."

He then glanced back, paying attention to the game. My eyes rolled annoyed, but quickly fixated back to Belly, who spoked again.

Belly: "Um...Uh, okay. Bye." -she chuckled, walking away while waving goodbye to me.

I looked over to Jeremiah, seeing how he was already staring at me confused.

Jeremiah: "You okay? Why aren't you dressed yet?"

Nova: "Shit, I'll be back." -I assured, running upstairs rapidly.

As I entered my room, I noticed a dress resting on top of my bed. It was beautiful, my favorite color even. I instantly knew it was Mom, since she's the only person that knows the perfect shade of blue I like.

Susannah: "Do you like it?" -she asked, coming out of my bathroom with a smile plastered on her face.

Nova: "It's beautiful, Mom. Thank you so much." -I replied, hugging her tightly while hearing how she chuckled.

I pulled away from the hug, to rub the fabric of the dress. It was extremely soft, I could only admire how beautiful it was.

Nova: "You want me to wear this today?" -I questioned, looking back at her bewildered.

Susannah: "No, totally not. I want you to wear it for the fourth of July, party."

I smiled by her comment, placing the dress gently inside of a box that rested on my bed.

Susannah: "Get dressed casually, we're not staying there for too long." -she mentioned, exiting my room.

I then heard footsteps coming back to my room, seeing Mom, once again, peeking through the door frame.

Susannah: "Also, you're driving with Steven, to the book party. You'll need to get the tables and chairs over there first."

Nova: "What? Can't he go with, Jere or Conrad?" -I asked, crossing my arms to maintain calm.

Susannah: "Your brothers are gonna help me and Laurel, continue to put all the books set up on the trunk."

Nova: "I could've done that." -I murmured, seeing how Mom, laughed.

Susannah: "Honey, just because you like Steven, doesn't mean you have to be afraid of spending time with him."

Nova: "Stop right there." -I whispered, almost shouting over how embarrassed I felt by her comment.

Susannah: "What?"

Nova: "I don't like Steven, like that anymore. I just simply don't want to take the tables and chairs." -I explained, making Mom, laugh as I finished.

Susannah: "Yeah right, you're still going with him though."

Nova: "Mom! Bu-" -I stammered, suddenly stopping my sentence as I watched her walk away.

Susannah: "No buts."

I sighed completely defeated, beginning to search for clothes I could wear. Minutes later I was finally done, just waiting for me to get called by, Steven or Mom.

My hands continued sweating over how nervous I felt, my phone was already getting slippery over how much sweat it already had. I hated that quality of mine, it made feel insecure when I needed to shake hands with someone or touch something. The boys, laughed about it all the time, which only made me more self conscious.

Steven: "Hey, I've been calling you this whole time. We can go now." -he spoke, entering my room carefully.

I watched how he admired the insides of the space, seconds later, taking a look at my wall covered with old pictures of all of us and other memories. He smiled by the sight, looking down at me to only meet up with my annoyed expression.

Steven: "Uuhh...let's go then."

I stood up from my bed without saying any words, exiting my room followed by the boy, who walked completely silent. As we reached downstairs, Mom, approached the two of us with a box on her arms.

Susannah: "Could you guys take this extra box of books? It doesn't fit on our car."

Steven: "Of course, here, I'll take it." -he replied, grabbing the wooden box carefully.

We then walked outside, arriving over to Steven's car. I headed inside of the vehicle with one of Laurel's books on my hand. I was ready to read it on our way to the book party. The boy, then entered his car, not daring to look my way at all.
________________________________
The whole ride was really awkward, there was no music playing at all. No words were shared literally, I only read Laurel's book calmly. The pages being turned, were the only noise you could hear inside.

I then heard what sounded like a chuckle coming from in front me, I had adjusted my way of sitting to face Steven's way. But the book covered almost my entire face, the only thing he could see was my eyes and torso.

Nova: "What's so funny?" -I asked, annoyed by how he continued to laugh right in front of me.

Steven: "Nothing, it's just that...you giving the silent treatment to someone is quite funny."

I rolled my eyes and continued reading the book, or should I say trying to read the book. Since the only thing I could think about was what he had told me just now, he found something funny in me. Do I sound delusional? Yes, I know I do.

Nova: "Steven, why didn't you say anything to me? Why did Conrad, controlled something that doesn't even belong to him?"

Steven: "I just thought that if I said something it would just make things worse, okay?" -he replied, continuing to look over to the street fully focused.

My eyes observed the street we were currently in, quickly realizing we were already arriving at the book store. Thankfully it was still empty which allowed us to set up calmly. The boy, began to park right in front of the store, finally stopping the vehicle's engine from roaring.

He looked over to me with a slight smile, pulling Laurel's book down from covering half of my face.

Steven: "For the record, I think what Conrad, did was stupid. But I also think that Tate guy, doesn't deserve you." -he mentioned, exiting the car as he finished.

I heard the trunk being opened followed by the sound of whistling coming from Steven, hearing how he grabbed some of the tables. I stayed inside, contemplating what he had just said. I didn't even notice how red I was, until I looked at myself on the mirror over how hot my face felt.

Steven: "Are you gonna help me set up or what?" -he laughed, already having all the tables outside.

I sighed, quickly heading out of the car with Laurel's book on my hands. As I was about to place it inside of the wooden box, my hand was grabbed gently by, the boy.

Nova: "Wha-what are you doing?" -I stammered, glancing up at him while I continued to feel my face heat up even more.

He instantly smirked, continuing to hold my hand that was starting to sweat uncontrollably. I pushed his hand off, rubbing my palm against my clothes to wipe the sweat away.

Steven: "Does someone still have a little crush on me?" -he asked, walking away with two tables on hands.

My gaze flicked up rapidly to look towards the book shop, this to only see him disappearing from my sight as he entered the place.

So he did knew this whole time, he has known about me liking him since we were little. I wondered how exactly did he found out? Was it because of, Jeremiah or Conrad? Did Mom, told him accidentally? Belly, could be another option as well. Everyone on that house was an option, even the dads.

Nova: "Shit!" -I exclaimed, quickly covering my mouth over how loud my shout was.

The sound of a car arriving gained my attention, only to see it was Mom and Laurel accompanied by, Conrad and Jeremiah. The curly head boy, honked right as he saw me, smiling brightly. I waved awkwardly at them, soon after grabbing some chairs to bring inside.

Even though entering the place was the least I wanted to do, I wasn't ready to talk with all of them after what just had happened. I could've sworn my voice would break over how nervous I was.

Steven: "Hey, I forgot to tell you that you should keep mom's book. She would appreciate one book being sold before the party even started." -he grinned, handling me the book from earlier.

I nodded without sharing any words, walking off as I placed the table and chair down. He continued to get everything set up, and me on the other hand, cleaned some old bookshelves covered in dust.

This book shop was one of my comfort places in Cousins, the place had so many of my favorite books inside. It felt like Christmas whenever I came to this place, I would get books gifted to me over how much the owners loved, Mom.

Susannah: "This place gets you nostalgic, doesn't it?" -she asked, brushing my hair back.

I smiled at her while nodding, seeing how she grabbed a book placed on the wooden shelf.

Susannah: "You should get this one, I read it once and I know you'll like it."

Nova: "What is it about?" -I questioned, taking a look at the book.

It had a beautiful white cover, this one having a lot of sunflowers around it. She handled the book to me, winking as she walked off.

Susannah: "Find out for yourself."

I laughed by how she always gave me puzzles to figure out, she knows I hate but like them at the same time. I walked towards the reception desk, leaving my money inside of the cash machine.

After I finished setting everything up, a lot of people had already shown up. Laurel, had gave out books to almost the whole town.

Jeremiah and Steven, played around in different ways. They kept making towers of books, literally looking like five year olds. While on the other hand, Conrad, had drank almost every single bottle of alcohol he could find. He hadn't walked up to me, which I was thankful for cause he would've gotten mad in an instant.

He walked up to Laurel and a man, though. They called him over, and began to speak for a while but Conrad, seemed uncomfortable. He walked away eventually, approaching the boys, who chilled on the couch looking completely bored.

My eyes darted over to my book once again, continuing to read for a while. Turns out the book contained poetry inside, which is my favorite genre. Mom, knew how much I enjoyed them, that she would always buy poetry books for me.

Susannah: "Hey, where did the boys, went?"

Nova: "What? What do you mean? They're over the-"

As I looked towards the right, I realized the boys, were in fact no longer there. I frowned my eyebrows confused, glancing up to Mom, who waited for my response.

Susannah: "Oh no, you don't know where they are?" -she asked, receiving a slow nod from me.

Nova: "They probably just went home, don't worry."

Susannah: "All right, we're almost done. Start packing up, okay?" -she whispered, rubbing my shoulders to eventually walk off.

I picked all of my belongings, waiting for the party to end which didn't took too long. I wondered constantly where the hell the boys, could've went? They didn't even say anything about leaving.
________________________________
After the event ended, Mom and Laurel, decided to head upstairs to watch a movie together. I stayed downstairs cleaning everything up, since we had left the house completely disorganized due to how rushed we were.

As I cleaned up, the sound of the house's entrance being opened gained my attention. A couple of voices could be heard approaching the kitchen, making me glance aside to see, Jeremiah and Steven.

Jeremiah: "Hey, how was the rest of the party?" -he asked, sitting on the kitchen's bar right in front of me.

Nova: "It was good, I guess. Where did you guys go?"

Jeremiah: "Oh...we went to get some smoothies." -he replied, looking over to Steven, who seemed uncomfortable at the moment.

I frowned my eyebrows by how weird they were acting, later on hearing another pair of footsteps approach, but this time from behind me.

Conrad: "Belly's on her way, she sounds pretty mad still." -he mentioned, only laughing in between sentence.

Nova: "Mad? What happened? Did that boy, hurt her feelings?"

Conrad: "The boys, didn't told you?" -he asked, crossing his arms with a grin on his face.

I glanced over to the two other boys, seeing how they tried to stop Conrad, from continuing to speak but were too late already.

Nova: "What the hell did you guys do?" -I snapped, glaring back at Conrad, who raised his hands up in surrender.

Conrad: "Wow, chill out, Nova. We just arrived at the drive-in to check on, Belly."

I rolled my eyes letting out a scoff, instantly looking at the three boys, completely angry.

Nova: "Are you being serious right now?"

Conrad: "Yeah?"

Nova: "Who the hell do you think you are, Conrad? First, you ruin me and my boyfriend's relationship, and now you're ruining Belly's?" -I argued, stepping closer to him.

He stayed quiet for a couple of seconds, glancing over to Jeremiah and Steven, who stared at the both of us awkwardly.

Conrad: "You guys told her?"

Nova: "Jere, you knew?!" -I snapped, making the boy, glance down completely defeated.

Nova: "How could you? I can't believe you've done this."

Conrad: "Look, I don't get why you're so mad. That guy, has hurt you so many times and what we did to Belly, was just a joke."

Nova: "What gets me so mad is that you think you can control my life, Conrad. And that "joke" could've ruined her whole entire date."

Jeremiah: "Guys, chill out. Mom and Laurel, are probably asleep." -he whispered, standing up from the marble chair.

Nova: "I don't care! It's better if they find out how immature the oldest son is being."

Conrad: "Oh shut up, as if you're much mature." -he argued, drinking from a beer he had on his hand.

Nova: "Well that's what is looking like! You smoke now, you drink now, you don't work and you certainly can't control your own path so you choose to control others."

He closed his fist shut, punching the kitchen bar abruptly. We all gasped out loud, watching the boy, grunt in pure horror. He then glared my way, pointing his finger towards me.

Conrad: "Fuck you. You don't even have any friends beside us." -he hissed, stepping near me.

Steven: "Conrad, leave her alone, man."

Conrad: "No, shut up! She needs to listen."

I frowned my eyebrows, beginning to grin my eyes to avoid tears from falling down over how angry he had gotten.

Conrad: "You don't have a boyfriend, who cares for you."

I let out a scoff, nodding a couple of times while glancing over to Steven and Jeremiah, who stared at the both of us fully terrified.

Conrad: "And you certainly won't be able to find a good path without Mom's help." -he mocked, continuing to point his index finger my way.

Jeremiah: "Conrad, stop."

Conrad: "Maybe you should've stayed as the quiet girl you used to be...it fitted you better."

Nova: "What is that supposed to mean?" -I asked, hearing how my voice broke mid sentence.

Conrad: "We wouldn't get annoyed by your presence now, since you were just invisible to all of us before."

I stayed completely still after his words, seeing my vision slowly go more blurry over all of the tears accumulated in my eyes. I heard a sigh coming from beside me, later on seeing Jeremiah trying to stop Conrad, from walking away.

Jeremiah: "Conrad, wai-"

Conrad: "Leave me alone, Jere." -he grunted, continuing to walk away from us on full speed.

The space was silent, there was no sound anywhere near. My tears flowed down quickly, making me cover my face over how embarrassed I felt.

Jeremiah: "Nova, I'm so sorry." -he mumbled, placing his hand on my shoulder gently.

I pushed it off, beginning to walk away as well from the kitchen. I stopped my tracks right in the entrance of the kitchen, looking back to, the two boys.

Nova: "I'm going to my room, I can't...I can't be here." -I trembled, running off so they wouldn't  continue to see me crying.

Conrad, probably didn't really know it then. But, him saying those hateful words to me...broke me more then he thought it would. You see, I spent half of my childhood trying to work on my social anxiety, I was too scared to make friends even if it was just my siblings. I barely talked to them even if we lived on the same home. They were more close to each other, and I was just simply...there. I still struggle and he knows that, but he doesn't care about how I feel...doesn't he?

End of chapter.

Sofia's notes:
The way this chapter ended had me sobbing even tho I knew how it would end 🥹 I'm so sorry for the pain I probably just caused!! Was this juicy enough? Probably not. Would there be more juiciness coming soon? HECK YES.

Stay tune for more!! Love you all and appreciate every single one of you 🙌🏻🩵 thanks for all of the reads and votes.

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