Hey. Sooo... This chapter is going to be a little bit different to the other chapters I usually post here. This one is more honest and are my actual feelings towards myself. I wrote this for an English essay and when I got it back today, I thought maybe I could share it with all of you. Maybe so that you know you're not completely alone and that I feel similar emotions to some of you. I'll show you the essay and when you're done reading it, there'll be a little note below it that I think you all should read.

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~Confessions~

This message goes to all the people who judge and criticize. I confess: I am quite short for my age and I'm not the prettiest girl there is. I'm too shy and introverted. I smile too much and maybe I should stop because my smile isn't pretty enough too. I'm not perfect. But guess what: nobody is.

I'm the type of person who would rather focus on work than socialize with people because I'm not good with conversation. I get anxiety just from the thought of having to talk to someone. I'm scared of what people would think of me. While others are able to openly communicate with others, talk to everyone ranging from friends to strangers, I can only observe this from afar and wonder how that's possible. When I go to school or out to malls I find it easier when my hair covers my face or eyes since it makes me feel less visible to the world. This anxiety of mine made me the introverted person I am today. It's been so long that I've actually found comfort in this loneliness. What caused this anxiety, I can barely even remember anymore but what I do know is that it's caused by your words and your actions.

I know I'm not perfect. I realize it everyday when I see my reflection in the mirror. So why do some people feel the need to bring it up everyday as if I haven't already noticed?

The thing is, words can kill and lead people to suicide. That's why we need to stop judging people. We don't know the things they might be going through. People could be smiling so brightly and you wouldn't even know how much they're struggling inside. So instead of giving insults, why don't we spread hope and love?

Nobody is perfect but we're allowed to still love ourselves despite our imperfections. No matter what anyone says, we should love ourselves. There are positive things within the negatives. Even though I am introverted, it has helped me to observe what goes on around me better. Through this, I've become a more understanding person. So those "flaws" are not actual flaws but part of what makes you the astounding person you are. Your imperfections make you perfect because you are unique.

So if you are a loud person, never let society make your voice falter. If you're a quiet person and find comfort in that, don't let others pressure you into becoming someone else. If you act a certain way that goes against your gender, so what? Let the world know how proud you are and someone will come along who loves you for you.

It's okay to be yourself. Embrace it and love yourself.

-Kira.

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Note: the success of this essay was due to my awesome friend squishsae who helped me to express my feelings better in my essay. I cannot thank you enough aahhh ＼(*T▽T*)／

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Now, the thing I wanted to tell you all: Today, when my teacher handed my essay back to me, she called me up to her and she had a little chat with me. And yeah, I realize now that my essay might have been a bit too personal and probably a bit too inappropriate for a school essay, because she probably thought I was suicidal or something. But I explained to her that it's not that bad anymore and that this year I'm on a road to loving myself more.

But still, her words today really stuck out to me. She told me that she felt the same too once. She also told me not to be so hard on myself anymore. And... She's right. We shouldn't be so hard on ourselves.

But what stood out to me the most out of all her words was this: "You shouldn't have to feel comfortable in something you were forced into. You need to try to overcome it and only then can you really enjoy life."

And I want to leave you to think about this quote. And what you would do about it.

What my teacher told me really opened my eyes and I think I could do with the change. We all do deserve to be happy. So choose what will make you feel the most at ease in the end.

I think it's way better than living life with "what if's" and regrets. It's your life, so live it to it's full extent.

That's all for now. Thank you for reading. I hope you have a great day or night and whatever you're going through, I hope the pain eases soon enough and that you are able to overcome your hardships. Bye~~ I love you all!! (∩^o^)⊃━☆*+:｡.｡ 💖💕🌸✨