Y/N

"No Timmy, I'm being serious he said the reason we couldn't see each other was cos of his management... Yeah, I suggested we could just be secret... Well he said his career comes first which I totally get but like... He said it so easily as if it meant nothing, I fucking lived with him for over a month."

I told Timmy I had to call him back as I was meeting a real estate agent to get the keys to my new apartment. After Tom had told me he couldn't see me anymore, I left London and came back to the States. Haz and Harry seemed more upset at my leaving than Tom did.

Los Angeles still freaked me out since the hotel robbery so I decided it would be a temporary location to go only if and when I was filming there. That's how I settled on New York. I had seen about a dozen properties by now all being snapped up by other people almost straight away so when I saw this place, I signed on the spot.

It was a beautiful brownstone townhouse in the Upper West Side, two bedrooms and a rooftop terrace. The terrace really sold it for me, imagining sitting out there with a heater and blanket looking at the city skyline. It kind of marked a new beginning for me, heartbroken from falling for Tom when he ended things so casually and easily; he must have not cared as much as I did.

After the agents left I called Timmy again, sitting on the floorboards of my new empty living room, looking out the floor to ceiling windows at the leafy street with other picturesque buildings wrapped in ivy vines and adorned with beautiful gardens- my new neighbours.

He had an apartment in New York as well, preferring it to the superficiality of Los Angeles. He insisted on taking me out, saying it was to congratulate me from moving in but I think it was because I wouldn't stop talking about Tom and needed a distraction.

"Come out tonight, my shout for dinner and we don't even have to drink if y-" Timmy begun before I cut him off.

"No, no I want to drink. I've been furniture hunting for three weeks straight, staying in a hotel and I need a celebration," I sighed, knowing the next step was buying a whole households worth of items. Luckily I'd ordered a few things to be delivered when I signed the contract a week ago, the necessities arriving today. Thank fuck.

"Half of the Euphoria cast are in New York for a their latest season, I was meaning to catch up with Sam and stuff. I'll see what they're doing," Timmy suggested.

I had been chatting here and there with Jacob about our recent Netflix release and he mentioned he was filming in New York, maybe I could finally meet Zendaya in person and see if she really was how Tom explained her. Or maybe I was going to end up like her, slandered and spoken about behind my back to whichever girl he started fucking next.

Turned out majority of my friends in the States were based out of New York, and majority were friends with each other some way or another. Sam had basically merged both casts of his two shows and congregated them all at this bar in Tribeca, all of us well and truly intoxicated beyond measure.

A few faces were missing as it was just a last minute drinks with whoever was in New York, Tom being one of them thankfully. What I didn't expect was Daya and I to clock instantly. We had talked online here and there about work and had mutual friends but I felt like I had known her for years. Fuck, why didn't I become friends with her earlier?

The two casts were insanely similar, obviously a specific type of person was cast under Sam's scrutinising credentials. Working with Jacob a few months ago made it easier to merge the two groups and we all knew the infamous Timothee Chalamet could make any group of people jump out of their seats and party until the sun rose.

Nobody brought up Tom around Zendaya or I for obvious reasons, but it didn't cause a scene or an elephant in the room. Similar to how Daya and Jacob had dated during Euphoria but since broken up. Everyone was relaxed and welcoming, it was just what I needed to distract myself.

Sam has this old film camera that he always takes with him for behind the scenes photos, sometimes bringing it out with him for 'behind the scenes' photos of our nights out. He was snapping photos of us all drunk, as were majority of us throughout the night on our phones.

Jacob was flirting with me openly throughout the night, it was obvious to me but I couldn't tell if people were ignoring it or too drunk to notice. He was really fucking tall. And fit. And Australian. And hot.

I shared Zendaya's story onto my own; a group photo of us all drunkenly posing. Zendaya and I posed together. My leg was lifted and bent across her as she gripped my thigh, both of us facing each other and pretending to kiss. Timmy and Sam were copying us with a sneaky ass grab from Timmy. Jacob and Alexa were on each side pointing to the commotion happening in the middle.

Timmy, Jacob and I shared an Uber home, all of us residing around the Upper West Side. Timmy got out first, leaving Mr. Elordi and I together in the backseat.

The door had barely even slammed shut before we pulled each other into a kiss, the driver glancing back in his rear view mirror and he drove to my apartment. It didn't feel right, but it definitely didn't feel wrong. I had no ties to Daya on a girl code level, if anything we were even. Plus, Tom hadn't even fought with his agency to stay with me.

Next thing I knew I was in my new apartment, the mattress on the ground and barely anything else around us as Jacob towered over me unzipping my dress. He chuckled at the lack of furniture as I explained I had moved in that day, my neck almost uncomfortable with looking so far above me.

He kissed my neck messily, the whole moment intense and rushed. I threw my bag on the couch as we fell onto the mattress, continuing kissing as I unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it off his arms.

"W-wait, I um.. I just need a second," I sighed, getting up to my feet and going to bathroom. I leant against the back of the door, instantly feeling dirty and disloyal. Why though? I had no reason to be.

I heard my phone ring from the living room but ignored it, leaning over the sink and looking at myself in the mirror. I wouldn't have Jacob Elordi at my apartment if I was sober. I knew that much.

I took a deep breathe before walking back to the mattress on the floor of my living room, seeing Jacob lying back on his elbows. He did look great shirtless I can say that much.

"Your phone rang, I heard them leave a voicemail but it was just telemarketers so I deleted it for you," he said smiling up at me.

"I'm sorry I um, I think I'm too drunk to do this," I apologised, running my hand through my hair and smiling awkwardly. He was really cool about it, he wasn't pushy or persistent, he just put his shirt on and kissed my cheeky goodbye. It was nice. We were colleagues after all, and we had enough respect for each other to know tonight was probably not for the best. At least under these intensely drunk circumstances.