🍒·˚ ༘ ┊͙CHAPTER 001 ! ˊˎ
our place
( real life )

༄✧ *:･ﾟ VIVIENNE
i hated interviews. especially ones where the people dug so deep into my past relationship.

this one wasn't any different. the woman in front of me was blonde, radiant, and tiny. her smile was bright and took up the majority of her face at once

she had clearly done her research. i could tell just by looking at her she had pictures, and song lyrics printed out. if she showed them to me i might just die.

i was so busy staring at her features, along with the stack of papers in her hand. man she was pretty too. i wished i could look like that.

it slipped my mind completely that she asked a question.

"i'm sorry, what did you ask?" i gave her a sheepish smile, she chuckled to herself before repeating the question

"you've been writing your albums based off of multiple break ups? or has this all been the healing journey of one?"

she smiled at me once again. i wanted to scream and walk out the door.

"healing takes a long time, my albums have been my breakup, my life, my connections and my relationships with people. it's me living through music" i explained

"can you go more into detail about that?" she asked, her tone clearly growing more curious.

what else did she want me to say?

"well my debut album, no skinny dipping, is actually just about me and my teenage years. Being friends with people who i'm no longer friends with anymore and like growing up in boston, you know?"

she nods her head, taking a sip of her coffee that sat on the ground next to her

"then stargirl is kind of like, me in my relationship era? i wrote the majority of my songs based off of how like in love i was and how that person made me feel"

"but after that album, was..." i paused, so tired that i had forgotten the order my albums came out in. she probably thought I was dumb.

"after that was going under, then invisible kisses, and finally, my newest album open wounds. all of those are my healing process and kind of like finding my sound a little bit. it was like a new era in my life and i didn't want to be the same person i was, i had spent a lot of time reflecting and growing privately"

"what would you say is your biggest songs off of going under?" she asked

"from going under it would probably be a couple, but lacy, bring me to life, and all I wanted are the ones coming to mind"

"that album was what truly skyrocketed you into fame, does that ever get scary? walking around and getting noticed?" i shook my head

"no oh my god, it was a little weird but never scary, like.. i don't fear it. i've learned to just be honest and open with how i feel. there have been times where i tell people, 'hey i'm so sorry i'm having a shitty day, and i don't feel like taking a picture but i'll sign anything"

"and your fans just let you breath?" she raises an eyebrow.

of course not.

"i wish, but the majority of the time they still ask for a picture or an autograph. something, like literally anything. people have gotten tattoos of hearts and stars that i've drawn on their bodies"

after the interview i was hungry. not just hungry, STARVING. boston was full of restaurants and cuisine, but my favorite place was just down the street. i put my Headphones on as i walked to the small restaurant, ignoring the people as i passed them by.

as soon as i stepped foot inside of it something felt off, a burning hole in my stomach, the place was mostly empty so i figured it must've just been my stomach issues again.

cause as dylan says "hot girls have stomach issues"

the old women at the counter smiled as i approached, she owned the place, it was when the removed my headphones i realized that something was definitely wrong.

one. they were making margarita pizza, they never did. mostly because anastasia, the women who owned the place, hated it.
two . my song played quietly, these people were fans, probably because i'd been coming here since i was 15
and three. familiar laughter filled the room

i knew that laughter. i paused and looked at the lady "are they.." she nodded, knowing exactly who i was talking about. i came here and cried multiple times in her back room after my breakup with him. indulging myself in sandwiches and lemonade as i vented to her.

"no! chris ! give that back!" matt yelled, i knew it was matt. i knew it was them. i knew she was here.

"i'll just... have my usual" i spoke softly, hoping they wouldn't notice me here. couldn't this have been my spot? out of all the places why did it have to be here? why did it have to be now?

like a divorce where one parent keeps the cat and the other gets the house? this would've been the house and i should've kept it.

she nodded and pointed to my booth, smiling. i nodded and sat down, pulling out my book and reading quietly

then it got worse. knocks on the windows.

i looked up and saw exactly seven girls, all waving at me and worse, waving at them. with big smiles plastered on their face.

they walked in and circled my table, i knew they had seen me now. they went silent, not speaking a single word.

i stood up and took pictures, did autographs, like a routine someone never wanted the shift for at work. this was the part i enjoyed the least of my job.

from me they all went to them, and my order was finally ready, thank god.

curiosity bit me, and before i could stop myself we made eye contact, his blue eyes that i once loved looked at me with such confusion. did he even recognize me?

why did i want him to?

i turned away quickly and grabbed my order, saying thank you and goodbye before walking out as fast as my feet could take me

anxiety hit me like a truck the second i stepped outside, and the fear rising in my chest was something that could've made me crash into the ground.

i stood against the side of the building, no windows to see me. i placed my headphones on and closed my eyes. the palms of my hands pressing into my eye sockets

"please don't tell me that just fucking happened.." i whispered.

"this has to be a prank cause what the fuck."

i felt around my bag making sure I had everything. phone? check, food? check , makeup? check, book? .. no book.

i opened my eyes and searched my bag for my book. i left it inside. i had left my fucking book inside with them.

the women would take care of it, right?

WRONG.

i turned the corner to glance at my booth, and my book was gone.

"you forgot this." the world must've ended, i prayed god would kill me. make a bomb to take me out. sniper to shoot me in the head? literally anyone or anything.

my eyes followed the hand that held out my book. it was him, long hair and a backwards cap, estella on his arm. what was i doing?

anxiety filled my chest once again.

chris held the book out towards me, his girlfriend staring at me. nick and matt behind them, unlocking their car

my mouth opened, and i searched for words. nothing came out, all the words in my head disappeared. my mouth dried.

speak. words.

"a thank you would be nice" his girlfriend chimed in, estella brown. miss massachusetts from two years ago.

"thanks" i murmured, grabbing the book and walking past them. i decided to go back to the film studio, i didn't even need to go back. just where else would i go? i could wait there for my uber and eat my sandwich in peace.

and i would've rather died than be there any longer with nick and matt staring at me from their car.

the emotions i had held down from those two years ago, resurfaced as i entered the building once again. fell out of me like water flowed in a river. my heart poured, my mind poured, i poured.

i never allowed myself to cry over chris and i breaking up. i cried over our memories and losing nick and matt as friends. but never chris and i. these were the first tears that i cried over him.

and just when i thought it couldn't get any worse, the blonde women from earlier came down and started talking my ear off. i tried my best to smile and wipe away the small tears that rolled down my face.

i don't know what the fuck i had done to the universe but clearly it wasn't on my side.

i prayed for the sniper again.