🍒·˚ ༘ ┊͙CHAPTER 005 ! ˊˎ
don't you remember?
( real life )

༄✧ *:･ﾟVIVIENNE
all my anxiety about him, about the show, about everything just melted away as soon as the music began. sure i was shaking, and yes you would be able to see it from a mile away, but i didnt stutter once.

that alone was an accomplishment for me. i never did good in front of big crowds.

It was packed. I hadn't expected this many people to actually show up. a completely sold out show.

and in front there they were. my best friends and them. him. he came, staring at me like i was still his, the corners of his lips turned upwards as the acoustic portion of my set began

"sorry" i laughed into the mic "have to get my guitar" i ran offstage quickly, as the crew set up the couch in the center of the stage.

she waited for me, my all black acoustic guitar that matt and nick got for me for christmas one year. covered in stickers and signed by adele, and their mother.

i walked back out, cheers and screams erupted as i sat down on the couch, smiling and crossing my legs while someone adjusted the mic to my level

"can everyone hear me?" i asked softly, giggling as the screams became louder

i blew kisses to the crowd as they smiled and chanted for certain songs

the venue became quiet, as i began playing. whispers and small talk stopping as my guitar began

singing these songs, in front of the person they are about is hard. but trying not to cry while doing so is even harder.

2 YEARS AGO.

when will i see you
again? you left with
no goodbye, not a
single word was said

"i miss you, i haven't seen you in two weeks, chris"
his voice muffled on the other side of the phone along with video game noises.

"i know baby, i've just been busy, it's getting crazy, we are going big, this is our break" i know it was what he wanted, this is all he ever talked about.

the noises in the background grew louder as he continued to play

"yeah, real busy" i remarked sarcastically

no final kiss
to seal any sins
i had no idea
of the state we
were in

"why did you say it like that?" he asked, offended

"no reason, just, i miss you.." he sighed and paused the games, the noise in the background now coming to a mute

thank god.

"i miss you too, how about tonight?" i couldn't help but smile when he suggested it, like i would ever say no to seeing him

i know i have a
fickle heart, and
a bitterness and
a wandering eye
and a heaviness
in my bed

but don't you
remember?

"if your not busy i would love that" a soft laughter left his mouth, muffles and other voices in the background that i couldn't make out "yeah, how about 7?"

"what should we even do?" i asked, softly "you pick? i'm fine doing anything as long as it's with you"

my heart fluttered, he said all the right things sometimes to make up for the absence

don't you remember?
the reason you loved
me before, baby
please remember me
once more

"i love you" i said, laying back on my bed, and then i heard it. a giggle. a girl, giggling.

all fluttery feelings drifted away. matt nor nick giggled— and they weren't girls.

"whose there?" i asked, sitting upright "whose what?" he responded, quickly, guiltily.

"who's there with you?" i asked, gripping the hem of my skirt, don't tell me he's cheating on me

"oh! estella came over to chill with us, she just got here like an hour ago!" i could hear his brothers laughing and screaming now too. the video game music started up once again

that was our thing.

when was the last
time you thought
of me, or have you
completely erased
me from your memory

i often think about
where i went wrong
the more i do, the
less i know

"oh! I thought you guys didn't.. like estella.." i said, sharp anxiety bobbing up and down my chest, i felt like throwing up.

"i mean she's not so bad, right? she's just a friend"

another sharp pain in my chest.

god it's like he was stabbing me over and over again, does he enjoy this?

"right.. a friend"

i know i have a
fickle heart, and
a bitterness and
a wandering eye
and a heaviness
in my bed

but don't you
remember?

don't you remember?
the reason you loved
me before, baby
please remember me
once more

"calm down viv, she's just a friend, i love you, okay? i'll call you later"

"okay.. bye chris" "bye viv"

he never did call that night, or show up for our date, even though i texted him the details.

gave you the space
so that you could breathe
i kept my distance
so you would be free

and hope that you
find the missing piece
to bring you back to me

why don't you remember?

don't you remember?
the reason you loved
me before, baby please
remember, me once more

when will i see you again?

that was two weeks before chris broke up with me, for estella. i never did get another date after that, the phone calls stopped and soon, he stopped responding all together.

i'm sure he would've ghosted me if i didn't show up to his house asking what i did wrong.

but, estella was just a friend.

PRESENT

the crowd cheered as the song ended, that's when i felt the tears that had run down my face.

i laughed into the mic to wipe the tears, madison mouthing to me 'your fine, that was beautiful'

dylan making a heart with her hands towards me, sabrina and olivia smiling.

curiously i glanced over at him. he was shocked, his mouth slightly open as he stared at me.

"sorry, got a little emotional there" i laughed, turning my attention from him to the crowds

"now, let's continue"

i didn't stop crying the rest of the acoustic set, in fact my eyes never did dry, every song, every note, i was pouring myself out once again on stage to thousands of people.

finally it was time for my new song

"this last song is something that isn't out yet, it is actually going to be coming out very soon" i teased

the crowd cheered loudly, screaming.

"this last song, is called, right where you left me. it will be available later on, so do not worry"

i smiled as i began standing up and ditching the guitar while one of my band members played as i sang.

tucking my hair behind my ears as the song poured out of me.

all eyes were on me, and my eyes couldn't leave him. i needed him to know. i lost everything when we broke up, all i had were my friends, and they lived across the states in LA

they picked up my pieces and helped me leave boston, i never wanted to go back. yet, parts of me never left, the parts i left with chris, and nick, and matt.

the parts i left with my family and the parts i left in the restaurant.

i will admit, i did sing to him, before my gaze went to his brothers and i blew kisses to them

even after everything i still held so much love for them.

olivia was the first to run to me after the set, jumping and tackling me to the ground "viv you did so good! that was amazing!" she exclaimed

i laughed as sabrina helped me up, wrapping me in a hug "i didn't even know you had that last one prepared, it was perfect" she beamed, tightening me in her arms

madison and nick stood behind dylan; like our parents who watched over us, i wiped my tears as dylan squeezed me. she pressed a kiss to my cheek.

"there wasn't a dry eye in the room, i hate crying how dare you do that to me" she laughed out a sob, before madison hugged me as well

"that was beautiful, and it honestly looked very therapeutic" she laughed

"is that the closure you needed?" she whispered, and i shook my head "i think i miss him even more now"

"that happens sometimes, but come on, let's go have fun now. you look amazing still, and you cannot go to waste"

they all walked out before me, saying they will meet me at marks. i helped the band out and sat down to restring my guitar, humming softly while the others left

"you did really amazing" the voice froze me

"nick?" i asked turning around, a smile spreading on my face "who else?"

"I'm so glad you came" i stood up and ran towards him, he hugged me tight. maybe he had missed me as much as i missed him

"why haven't you called?" he asked as we broke the hug "he was your brother i didn't want to—"

"yeah he's my dumbass brother, but you were my friend before you were his girlfriend, vivienne. i would've stuck by you, but you left that night and.." he grew quiet— not wanting to bring up any memories

ouch. my full name. i sighed and continued to let him talk "matt and i have missed you. we wouldn't have come if we didn't"

"i know" the words came out softly

"your also stupid for not calling or texting or literally trying to reach out at ALL" he continued on

"i know"

"but i've missed you, and your doing so good for yourself now, you've officially like done it" he smiled and hugged me again

nick, my nick. not madison's but mine. the first person i ever showed my songs too, the one who heard me sing for the first time and held me when i cried about my period

"i've missed you more.." i said, burying my face in his neck

"okay that's enough" he laughed, pulling away "you know who else missed you?"

"who?" I asked

"trevor. And mom and dad, but mostly trevor"

"i did too, asshole." matt said coming in, hands in his pockets, that meant he was somewhere

"matt!" i ran towards him, jumping in his embrace. "oh my god it's vivienne, who i haven't seen in god knows how long" sarcastic matt, i missed him too.

"im sorry" i confessed, guilt building up in my stomach "i should have reached out sooner"

"we should have tried as well. but maybe dont ghost us after chris does something idiotic again? if everyone did that then we would have no friends at all" he pulled away from the hug

"i missed you guys"

nick stood next to me and sighed "ew this is really sappy now, and im fucking starving" i laughed and looked up at them, an idea popping into my head

"give me four seconds" i insisted, calling dylan

"hello? hey dude are you on your way yet? traffic is gonna fucking suck"

"well.." i began, before she groaned "what nowwww i just want pizza and hot midnight pizza guy" she whined "well, nick and matt found me backstage, and they are hungry"

she went silent, before someone else spoke, sabrina "is he with them?" "no duh, he is their brother"

"he already took anastasias he cant have marks legendary midnight pizza too" olivia spoke up, grabbing the phone from dylan i assumed

"well... can i invite them would you guys kill me?"

"is she coming with them?" sabrina asked "i mean it would just be us seven if she isnt there, madipoo and nick went back home, they have that couple interview thing in the morning"

"let me ask"

i turned around and smiled at nick, matt, and now chris who stood alongside them, god he looked good.
i hated myself for thinking so.

"is.. it just yall?"

nick got the hint and nodded "yeah, estella went home during the acoustic set, which, by the way, was so fucking good" i laughed and turned back to the phone

"she isn't with them, i will meet yall at marks, get my usual for me" dylan groaned, grabbing the phone back "your lucky we love you or else we would literally stab him the second he walks through the door"

"who said you still couldn't do that? just hands off of nick and matt, they are angels" i reminded her as i began to walk out of the venue with the three triplets

the same warm familiar feeling rushed through my body. it was like i was 18 again, but this time, we weren't dating, and this wasn't boston.

this was la, we were adults, and he wasn't mine anymore. i was not his.

i prayed for yet another bomb, missal, sniper, even an elephant to trample me.