Author of the book: bangpink_aesthetic
Reviewer: Sugaga777

Title: 6.5/10

The title of this book is too long to be title, maybe get a central idea and make a short and crisp title. A subtitle would be appreciated as well.

Cover: 8/10

The cover seems well-edited and neat. It also describes the story well, even though I would suggest you make a cover that has a visible title.

Blurb: 8/10

The blurb was snappy but to the point. Some rhetorical questions would work as material to wind up the intrigue among the readers. 8 because maybe adding some more lines would be beneficial.

Grammar and Vocabulary: 7/10

The use of grammar is good. There are minor grammatical errors, I found. The vocabulary was casual but not so satisfying. Try to stress on grammatical portions.

Pace: 10/10

The story is smooth and has no rush. It's very intriguing to read, the start and end was so fun. This story is great.

Characters Development: 8.5/10

Characters described have causal behaviour yet show realistic personalities, and emotions you mentioned were not so clear.

Concept and Plot: 7/10

The concept of the mafia story was good. The plotting is intriguing, that's all I wanna say.

Writing style: 6.5/10

So here comes your major mistake. The format you chose to write the story is not so professional. You should use a narrative format. For Example:

Instead of writing like this:

*AFTERNOON 3:00 pm*
Author POV

Jungkook: woahhh!! Is this our new house??

Namjoon: Dad your house is very beautiful

Write like this:

Author's POV

It was afternoon as the sun rose his head high, "Woahh!! Is this our brand new house?" A voice echoed through the new house, the voice belonged to none other than Jungkook.

"Dad, This house is very beautiful," Namjoon said while admiring the beautiful house they just moved into.

Try to elaborate  the action on, it would be fun to read.

Overall Presentation: 6.5/10

It's an outstanding book with great plotting. Overall, you have been doing great. Just need a good title, a new writing style or you can express yourself more.

Rating of the book: 8.5/10

I enjoyed this book, you have the potential to do better. Keep going!!

Total: 76.5/100

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