Episode : One Lie at a Time

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"So I've been civilian for ten years and I still get anxious when I'm shopping for clothes," Penelope tells the women.

"I feel that," Ramona comments.

"Ramona, you're an amazing hype woman. You're coming with me everywhere."
"You do you, girl."
"Seriously, I love that so much!"

The Alvarez woman was killing it in the therapy session. The woman loved her straight forward charisma and Penny loved that she felt heard in the group.
It made her feel at home, in a way.

"Anyways, there's too many choices, right? I mean, it used to be one uniform, which we all crushed, because we were in the best shape of our lives. But then we get out, and it's like, why did we do all those side straddle hops when there's Spanx?" Penelope had joked, causing all the women to hysterically laugh.

"Anyway, Pam, pick someone else. I don't really feel like talking today."

"Uh, our session ended 15 minutes ago." Pam checked her watch. "Thank you all for coming."

As all the veteran began to pack their stuff to leave for the road, Penelope felt very emotional, even started feel her eyes water so quickly.

"Oh, it's okay, Alvarez, the rest of us will talk next week," Jill spoke.

Penelope shakes her head and looked over to all the brave women. "It just feels so good to let it all out with you ladies. You're just... You're all so strong and you're so beautiful. Thank you for having me."

"Thank you, Penelope," Pam said, comforting the Cuban.

"Release those tears, mama!" Ramona cheers on.

"Seriously, never stop."

¡

Andrea was in her room, just wiping all the tears off of her face.

It had been a bit since her mom left, her dad hadn't came home yet, so she felt it would be the perfect time to just release her tears without being interrupted-

"Why is your window locked?"

The girl snapped her neck to her closed curtain window, hearing Alex's voice and him knocking onto the glass from the outside.

She quickly had pulled herself together and opened the curtain and window, letting the boy inside.

"Aren't you suppose to be writing that essay for English? You and I both know you are the king of procrastination," She jokes, closing her window.

Alex sets his books down on her bed. "Hey, I like being in your room, it's comfy. Besides, I need your help on the grammar."

"So you really just want me to do it for you?"
"... Basically, yes."

Andrea kisses her teeth. "Welp, sorry, Lex, but I'm kind of in a not-so-good mood, and I'm really lazy, so no. Goodbye!"

But despite her grabbing his books off her desk, Alex was already getting cozy on her bed.

"Hey, you're wearing my sweater." He pointed out.

"O-Oh, do you want it back?"
"No, no. Keep it, it's nice on you."

Andrea couldn't stop herself from blushing madly when he said it. Alex did see her redden cheeks, thinking that it was cute, but hid his thoughts was a sweet smile.

"So, why are you in a bad mood?" The boy asked.

"Shouldn't you be doing your essay?"
"Yeah, but that can wait. Why were you crying?"
"I wasn't crying!"
"Yeah, you were. Your eyes are a little red and your rose is it."
"I have allergies."
"B-S, you only get allergies in Spring!"

Andrea was in a corner in this argument.
She wasn't going to tell Alex to truth, god no.
But she can't just lie about not crying, because he knew she was.

"Okay, geez! I watched a sad movie, okay?"
"What movie?"
"Selena."
"Selena Gomez has a movie?"
"No, pendejo, Selena Quintanilla! The mexican singer I love, don't you be misnaming her."

Then there was a few seconds of awkward silence in the air.

"So, would you look at my essay for 5 dollars?"
"Okay, we're working at Schneider's!"

Andrea annoyingly puts on her flats, as Alex grabs his stuff.

"Why are we going to Schneider's?"

"Because I can actually focus at his place and you don't go snooping through my thing."

"Look into your stupid dream journal one time, and you get blamed for life!"

With that, the two kids made their way to their landlord's place just wanting the night to turn around, just a little bit.

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"Ay, Leslie, this is not necessary," Lydia assures, "I fell. I have a bruise that I will cure with the power of my mind."

Lydia and Berkowitz were at the doctor's work place, because of Lydia's injury that took place in the apartments.

"In the car you told me you were dizzy. I just wanna make sure you're okay because I care about you," Leslie spoke up.

"Okay. You may proceed."

"Great. Let me just start with a few questions. Uh, any allergies?"

"Allergies are not a real thing," The woman states in seriousness.

"All right. Uh, any history of serious illness?"

"Never. But if I ever get one, my Cuban blood will eat it and absorb it into nothing."

"There's not a checkbox for that. Any hospital visits?"

"No. Oh! Oh, a long time ago, I had a stroke, but it was nothing."

"Lydia, a stroke is not nothing!"

"I made a 100% recovery. And I have full movement in both my arms. I can mime in a box. Can you?"

Then the elderly woman started to mime, completely trying to avoid the subject at hand.

"No, I can't," Leslie admits, "Did you do anything different today than usual? What did you eat?"

"Oh, I cooked a beautiful tortilla española, and bistec empanizado and dinosaur nuggets - papito's comfort food."

"And which of those did you eat?"

"None. Well, I-I was cooking. I had no time. Oh..."

"That's why you're dizzy. Lydia, you need to eat."
"You would make a good Cuban mother."
"Please. Cubans got nothing on the Jews when it comes to force-feeding their children!"

The doctor went straight to the point. "Now, Lydia, if you don't mind, I would like to take a look at that foot."

"Oh, okay, but no hanky-panky. My body belongs to God and my husband's ghost."

"Lydia, this is a professional environment," Leslie reassures the woman, while Lydia let him lift up her dress slightly.

In doing so, the lights then dimmed darkly, causing Lydia to be an alarm.
"Ah, uh... I said no hanky-panky!"

"This is just some after-hours energy-saving thing." Berkowitz waves his hand up, making the lights turn back on brightly. "See?"

Leslie looked over to the woman's foot and was completely stuttering  over his own words. "Oh, no. We-We-Well, this is a problem."

"What? What is it?

"You have a hammertoe that had to be shaved down," Leslie tells her.

Lydia gasped in compete horror. "I do? What does it mean? Leslie, be honest. Will I ever dance again?"

"This is a simple out-patient procedure. We'll have you back on your dancing feet in no time."

The lights in the room again turns dark and dim, but just before Leslie could turn them on, Lydia stops him.

"Oh, no, leave it. Leave it. Now that I have the four of a monster, I want to hide in the shadows until it is fixed."

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"So, things are going good on my date. I think we're gonna grab a coffee. Everything okay over there?"

Penelope asked her daughter.
Elena had answered her mom's call, knowing it was just her checking up on them.

Elena replies, "Yeah, Alex is doing homework with Andrea, and I'm just sitting here by myself, you know, watching Buffy. Okay, bye, mom."

The glassed Alvarez ends the calls, sets her phone down, and relaxes herself on the couch, with Josh being right beside her.

"So..." She starts off, "this isn't some bad teen movie where the popular guy pranks the nerd girl, and you make me feel special and next thing I know, I'm covered in pig's blood?"

"Uh... no?" He responses, "It's not a prank. For real, Elena, I've had a crush on you all year."

"All year? Really?"
"I mean, there was a week when I was home sick and puking, but you were still in there." With him referring to his mind.

"Aw." She smiles to him.

"Did you say you were watching Buffy?"
"Yeah, you know it?"
"Yeah, I love it. First three seasons, solid."
"Right? Where do you stand in season six?"

Josh sighs, dreamily. "Dark Buffy"
"I know, right? But I do feel there were some solid stand-alones, like..."

"The musical," They both say the same time.

Elena then looks deeper to Josh. "You know... you look not that bad. I mean... you got good lips. You got nice eyes, blue. Your smile is slightly uneven, but it's offset by a strong jaw."

"I think you're super hot, too," Josh plays off, hiding the fact he had no idea what she was talking about.

"Wait, do I like you?"
"Do you always say your thoughts out loud? Because I kinda like it."

"I wanna kiss you now."
"I really like it."

Then the two teens kissed, Elena smiles to herself as she pulled herself away.

"That wasn't horrible."
"That was not what I was hoping to hear. But I can totally do better."

Elena simply chuckled to Josh and pulls him back to her, re-connecting their kiss once again.

¡

As Andrea was jotting down notes on the couch, for Alex's essay, Alex sat in Schneider's desk, seeing a laptop right in front of him.

"Hey, Schneider, can I use your laptop?" He asked the man, who was in the other room.

"Yeah, sure thing, man," The landlord shouts is reply. "What, do you need to research something? Maybe I can help."

"I'm trying to get information on lesbians," The boy nonchalantly tells him, already hitting the search bar. He says to his best friend. "Oh, wow. I just typed in L-E-S and it filled in 'lesbians' and then a lot of other stuff."

This made Andrea whip her head to Alex, in a weird look, while Schneider came running all the way from the other room, quickly shutting the laptop closes, so the boy couldn't see anymore of what was on screen.

"Ew," The girl comments, containing her reflex to gag.

"Yeah, let's shut that for now." The landlord tried to move on with the subject, placing the computer in his arms. "Um, why do you need info on lesbians? Don't get me wrong. I understand the curiosity, but... I'm not sure you should be doing that."

As the man talked, both him and Alex had way to the couch, sitting beside Andrea, who gladly placed her pencil in Alex's pencil bag and setting it down for a break.

"I'm trying to find out if they also like guys."

Schneider grunts with a laugh, as he sets the laptop in the coffee table. "You have stumbled onto a real eternal question, buddy. But probably not something I should talk to you about without your mom's permission. And just thinking ahead, I don't think she's gonna give permission. What, are you worried about something?"

"I'm just confused because Elena said she might like this dude, Josh-"

Automatically, Andrea threw a throw pillow to the boy's head, signaling him to shut up.

"So?"

"So... nothing," Andrea replies for Alex.

"Wait a minute. Alex, Andrea, are you saying Elena might be gay?"

"Uh... no. Because it's a secret." Alex tried to save, but it didn't matter.

Andrea groans, seeing that no matter what they would say Schneider wouldn't be fooled.

"Whoa." The handyman tries to think of what should be done.

"She just said she might like girls, but she might like boys, too. Don't worry. We already had the broccoli-cauliflower conversation," Alex explains.

"That's smart," Schneider comments, "But... what did your mom say?"

"She doesn't know. Nobody knows," Andrea answers, "It's only me and Alex. You can't say anything! No one, zip, zero, nada."

"Okay, don't worry. I won't. Even though I have so many questions, like... When did she know? And what is the broccoli-cauliflower conversation?"

Andrea couldn't help but be just as confused as Schneider, especially about the broccoli-cauliflower talk.

"It's just all so confusing. I mean, Josh is down there with her right now," Alex admits.

This was where Andrea and Alex were on two different pages.
Josh and Elena, alone?!

"Wait a minute," Schneider said, "Elena's downstairs alone? With a boy?"

"Not just any boy. He's the super-cool captain of the baseball team."

"Oh, that's even worse! He's probably rounding the bases as we speak." 

As Alex gave a confused innocent look, Andrea pinches her nose in irritation.

"Somebody should do something," Schneider sighs, pacing around. "Oh, wait, it's me! I should do something."

After that, the man zipped out of his apartment to the Alvarez's.
Alex then opens the laptop, which Schneider left behind, but Andrea shuts it off, grabs his hand and pulls him out of the apartment and to Schneider.

In getting caught up with the situation, the Hinojosa girl completely ignored her silent phone, buzzing with multiple text messages from her mom and dad.

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Translation/Meaning

pendejo - stupid/asshole
tortilla española - a spanish omelette from spain
bistec empanizado - a cuban breaded steak