The start of a rough journey.

chapter forty-four , The start of a rough journey

a/n : two updates two days in a row??? Who am I 🤭

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The Winchester's were supposed to be back on the road again. Two siblings were ready except for the one. Athena never came out of her room after her break down about John. No matter how many times they knocked, she didn't answer. Every now and then, they would talk to her through the door and she could knock back to tell them that she was at least alive. She wasn't okay, but she was alive. That was all they were getting out of the girl.

Athena felt tired. She hated feeling this way, she missed being able to like the things she used to. Before Victor. Before her father. Before everything.

And now here she was sitting on the floor at the end of the motel bed with an empty bottle of pain killers. Athena lets out a deep sigh and tosses it to the side, her eye throbs and she pinches the bridge of her nose. Her stomach cramps up and she lets out a sharp breath. Athena stands up and runs into the bathroom.

"Is she eating?"

"I mean, the food we're leaving outside her door always disappears, and she's still alive." Sam sighs. "So, I'm hoping that she's eating."

Dean looks at Sam, "Should we make her a cake?"

Sam deadpans. "She's recovering from an eating disorder, Dean!"

"Shit..." Dean scratches at the side of his head. "Uh...a balanced lunch?"

Sam points at his older brother, "That's more like it."

Athena lets out a quiet whine and runs her hands down her face. She sputters her lips and looks at her phone. Athena knits her brows together and runs her tongue behind her lower teeth. Athena really doesn't want to...she really doesn't want to. She looks at the motel room. And heat rushes to her cheeks, thinking about even telling her brothers. She would rather die.

Athena roughly grabs her phone and dials the familiar number. She places her phone against her ear.

"Hey..." Athena looks at the ceiling. "...I know you don't want to see or talk to any of us, but—I need your help."

Sam and Dean walk over to Athena's motel door. Sam was holding a small bento box. Dean knocks on the door and rocks back and forth on her heels.

"Athena? We brought you food!"

No answer.

Dean places his forehead against the door. "Athena, come on...please?"

Sam hears a car approaching. He turns and pulls his brows together.

"Dean."

The eldest Winchester looks at Sam and raises his brows. He turns to the car and sees the blonde getting out of it. She grabs a plastic bag of items from her car and walks toward the brothers.

"Jo? What are you doing here?"

Jo lets out a breath, "Athena called me."

"Really? She hasn't said a word to us for the past few days." Dean goes to knock on Athena's door again, but Jo grabs his wrist.

"How about we use some context clues, boys, huh?"

"What?—"

"She's snappy, emotional, distant..." Jo trails off her sentence, noticing Sam and Dean's confused expressions.

Jo relaxes her shoulders and sighs. "And your men...well—clueless boys."

"Okay, I must be missing something." Dean scratches his head.

"Your sister is...slowly turning into a woman." Jo tries to explain, making sure to not freak the brothers out.

Sam's eyes land on the plastic bag in Jo's hand. His eyes widen and he looks at Jo, who nods at him.

"I see one of you understands."

"Well, it's not me." Dean voices, getting frustrated. "So, can someone please—"

Jo grabs the box of pads from the bag and Dean's jaw goes slack.

"Oh, God..."

"Yeah." Jo presses her lips together. "So, excuse me please."

Jo brushes past the shaken brothers and gently knocks on the door.

"Hey, Athena. It's Jo..."

The blonde waits for a moment, before the door slightly opens. Jo enters the room and closes the door behind her. She's instantly greeted with arms around her waist. Jo chuckles softly and touches the back of Athena's head.

"Thanks for coming, Jo."

"I've said it before and I'll say it again..." Jo crouches in front of the girl. She sets the bag down and touches Athena's arms. "You can call me anytime and I'll be there."

And for the first time in weeks, Athena smiles. She wraps her arms around Jo's neck and hugs her again. Jo lets out a soft breath and crouches in front of Athena. The blonde takes the pads out of the bag, "So, do you need 'the talk'?"

Athena raises her brows, "Uh...no." She grabs the bag from Jo and walks into the bathroom. Jo presses her lips together from the sudden change in Athena's behavior.

"Hey, Ath—"

Athena closes the door behind her with a slam. Jo softly clicks her tongue. She sits on the edge of the bed and waits with her arms crossed. "So—"

"Stop taking while I'm in the bathroom." Athena calls out.

Jo closes her mouth and taps her fingers against her lower lip. The blonde knew that Athena was still angry about how Jo stopped talking to her over the past few weeks. And the two were bound to have a conversation about it, whether it be sooner or later.

"Dammit."

Jo raises her brows, "You okay—"

"Fine—you can go." Athena snaps.

Jo stands up from the bed, "Do you wanna talk?"

Athena opens the door, "No. I've watched tons of YouTube videos about this." She brushes last Jo. "Thank you for everything, but I know you didn't want to even talk to me—"

"Athena, that's not it." Jo shakes her head.

Athena scoffs, "I'm 11. Not an idiot." She looks at Jo. "You look at me and you see my dad, well guess what, Jo? I'm not my dad! And neither are my brothers!"

Jo presses her lips into a firm line and she nods her head. "I know, I know that..." she looks at the ground. "I just...I needed time to wrap my head around what my mom told me." She shakily breathes. "And it was just me pointing my anger at the first people I saw...that wasn't fair."

"You're my sister, and I'm sorry, Attie."

Athena gnaws on her lower lip. "I get that..." she says the reassuring phrase, she's heard was somewhat helpful to others. "I'm sorry about what my father did." She looks down at the bag in her hands. "And I'm sorry for snapping at you."

Jo presses her lips into a small smile. "You never have to apologize to me, kiddo."

Athena sits next to Jo with a sigh.

"So, is this why you've been in your room for three days?" Jo asks.

Athena gnaws on her lower lip, "Partially." She wipes her lip. "The other part is because I may or may not have had a breakdown over my father's death." She then winces. "Is that raw for you? Me mentioning fathers?" Athena looks at Jo.

Jo slightly opens her mouth and an astonished chuckle leaves her lips. "Uh, it wasn't raw until you mentioned it, no."

Athena raises her brows, "Oops, sorry." She looks at the ground. "Anyway, I broke down about him and now I'm just...embarrassed to even look at my brothers."

"Why?" Jo asks.

Athena knits her brows together. "Because, I think I'm still mad at Dean. And he comforted me while I was cry, so now it feels like—"

"You have to forgive him." Jo finishes.

Athena falls silent, but she nods her head. Jo bites the inside of her cheek. "Dean seems like he's a stubborn asshole."

Athena snorts softly, "I mean...yeah."

"But, it seems like you're helping him understand how not to be the way he normally is." Jo states. "So, it might hurt him, but I feel like he'd understand."

Athena lays her head against Jo's arm. Jo lays her head against Athena's, "I love you, you know that?"

Athena smiles softly, "I know. I love you too."

"How's your eye doing?"

"I'm popping pills like crazy!" Athena exclaims. "I'm like an adult now!"

"No, what?!" Jo's eyes blow wide and she looks at Athena. "What kind of medicine are you taking."

"Chewable pain medicine." Athena grabs the empty bottle off the floor and hands it to Jo. "They're grape flavored."

Jo lets out a breath of relief that was mixed with laughter. "You scared me half to death, Attie."

Athena snorts, "Yeah, I know." She bunches her shoulders.

"And just saying, maybe you need to take Tylenol or something." Jo raises her brows. "Not too many though, ask Sam and Dean to regulate your pill intake. Or text me for advice."

Athena wraps her arms around Jo. "You're the best."

"So, I've been told." Jo hugs Athena back.

Whispering is heard at the motel door and Athena rolls her eyes. "They're still there?"

"I saw them with food earlier." Jo says.

Athena raises her brows, "Really?" She hops off the bed and walks over to the door. Athena opens the door, revealing her brothers mushing each other's faces. They freeze and look at their little sister.

"A-Athena, hey! How are you? I mean, are you okay?!" Sam asks.

"We got you a heating pad a-and some chocolate." Dean holds them out. "We also made you a bento box."

Sam holds the bento box out to Athena. She shifts her eyes between the things and a small smile forms on her lips. "Thank you, guys." She grabs the things from her brothers. "Seriously."

Sam and Dean smile, "Of course."

"We'll be in the next room. If you need anything." Sam says. Dean looks at the blonde in his room and waves, "H-Hi, Jo."

Jo rolls her eyes, "Yeah, hi, Dean."

Athena presses her lips together. "She's still a bit raw from the 'dead father' thing." She then raises her brows. "Hey, maybe you guys can bond over that since—"

"Athena!" The three adults exclaim.

Athena bunches her shoulders, "Just joking...kind of." She closes the door and turns to Jo. "You guys know nothing about humor and it shows."

☆

The credits roll on the movie and Jo wipes her eyes. "See? The Notebook is totally a sad movie..." she trails off her sentence when she sees Athena sleeping with her arm hanging off the edge of the bed. Jo rolls her eyes but she laughs softly. "Knew that would get her to sleep." She gets off the bed and tucks Athena in. Jo kisses Athena on the forehead and smiles softly, "I'll see you later, Attie."

Jo walks out of the motel room and sees Sam and Dean sleeping against the Impala. She knits her brows together, "You guys didn't get picked up for loitering or something?" Jo walks over to the boys.

Sam and Dean jolt awake, bumping into each other. Dean shoves Sam and Sam shoves him. "So, how is she?" They both stumble onto their feet.

Jo inhales a breath and folds her arms. "Good. She's sleeping right now. And I'm guessing that she hasn't been doing that lately."

She looks at Dean, "So, I heard that you made her cry."

Sam looks at Dean's dropped expression.

"What? I was only trying to get her to open up—"

"I'm not bashing you or anything." Jo holds her hands up. "I think it's cool that you talked to her. And I'm guessing you apologized for being a dick?"

"I hope he did." Sam folds his arms and looks at his brother.

"You know I did—I already told you." Dean growls.

Sam laughs, "I know, it's just funny seeing you mad."

Dean scrunches his lips in annoyance. Jo sighs softly, "Well, I should get going." She slaps her hands against her thighs. "I'll see you guys, when I see you."

Athena's motel door opens, causing the three adults to turns to her. She walks over to them, "Jo, before you leave, can you help me with something?"

Jo raises her brows, "Yeah, of course."

Athena looks at Sam and Dean, "Can you help me too?"

"D-Definitely." Dean nods his head.

"What do you need?" Sam asks.

Athena's hands were behind her back and she shows the object she was holding. It was the game boy that John gave her before he told her about the supernatural world. The day Athena was pulled into the hunter life. Athena inhales, "I wanna say goodbye to dad. Properly."

Dean's eyes soften, "We can help with that."

Athena bites the inside of her cheek and the end of her mouth twitches. They all piled into the Impala. Sam and Dean were in the front while Athena and Jo were in the back. They got to an empty spot in the woods with an empty tin trash can. The air was crisp against Athena's face to the point her nose started to run. She wipes at her nose and looks at pink gameboy in her hand.

"I guess I should start, right?" Athena looks at them.

"Start whenever you want, Attie." Sam lightly encourages.

Athena inhales a shaky breath and keeps her eyes on the gameboy. "I had no idea that some...stupid little game would have such a hold over me." She presses her lips together.

Dean clears his throat, "I-It is a pretty cool game thou—"

"Shut up, Dean." Sam and Jo voice.

"Dad...wasn't the best father to me—to any of us." She looks at Sam and Dean. "And I tried to be...the best daughter, so he could love me. All I wanted was for him to love me like a father should. Like I was a Winchester."

Jo bites the inside of her cheek and looks at the brothers. Dean knew that he was going to tear up during this, but Athena had just started speaking. Sam's eyes were welled with tears.

"You apologized to me in my hospital room before you died." Athena sighs. She taps her fingernails against the game. "I don't forgive you. I-I can't..." her voice starts to shake.

"And now? Now, I need to move forward." Athena clears her throat. "And I can't have you holding me back anymore." She unzips her bag and pulls out the gasoline canteen from her bag. "So, now..."

"Uh..."

"Hold on—"

"When did she get gasoline?" Dean whispers.

Sam and Dean look at eachother, then they turn to Jo. The blonde scratches at her neck and looks away from the brothers.

"Jo, why in the hell—"

"She's a responsible 11-year-old!"

"And she's a pyromaniac." Sam seethes.

"I am right here." Athena holds her arms out. She pours the gasoline into the tin can.

"Athena, maybe you should limit the amount of gasoline in the middle of the woods—"

"I know what I'm doing." Athena scoffs. She digs through her jacket pocket and pulls out a gold encased metal lighter.

"What the hell?!—Where did you get that lighter?!"

Athena looks at Dean, "Bobby got it for my birthday." She grins. "He also got me this!" She pulls out a rose gold curved dagger.

"Oh My God."

"I'm calling Bobby!" Sam steps away.

"That looks badass!" Dean exclaims.

Jo and Sam look at Dean. The eldest Winchester's smile drops. "I-I mean, not good, Athena." He shakes his head.

Athena rolls her good eye and slips the dagger back into her sheath. She flicks her lighter on and hovers a piece of paper over the fire. Athena tosses the fire into the trash can and it lights up. The fire practically engulfs the trash can. Athena raises her brows, "Damn..." she huffs.

Athena looks at the gameboy and bites her lower lip. "Well, hope you're not burning too much in Hell, dad." She looks at the three adults and they were caught off guard by her words. Athena clicks her tongue and awkwardly presses her lips together. "Sorry...I'm coping."

Athena holds the gameboy over the trash can. "Now, I let you go."

Athena drops the gameboy into the trash can, letting it burn. The tightness in Athena's chest slightly lessens and a small smile ghosts her lips. Everyone stands around the trash can in silence, watching the gameboy burn. Sam looks at Athena with worry.

Athena has let go of another part of her childhood. He understands why she let it go and he is proud of her for that, but Athena's other interests have disappeared ever since the car crash. Athena was slowly losing the person she used to be.

And her brothers had no idea what kind of person she was shaping into now.

☆

After Jo left, Athena went back to her Motel room. She said she was going to go to sleep, but she lied. Athena not only needed space, but she needed air and she wasn't getting it from inside. Athena waited a few hours until, she was sure her entrees were asleep in the next room. When she was sure, she slipped her red converse on and zips her red and yellow windbreaker up. She puts her backpack on and leaves the room.

Athena wasn't going to go far, at least that's what she thought. But the girl was so deep in her own thoughts that she lost track of where she was. Which was fine with her. Athena looks around the freeway and huffs, thinking about the long walk back. She inhales a soft breathe before exhaling a sharp one. A lump forms in her throat and she lets out a soft cry. Her soft cry then becomes a rack of sobs and she falls to her knees.

Athena thought that after saying goodbye to her father, she would be okay. But there was still a good inside of her that wasn't being filled. It made her scared of everything that was to come in her future. She didn't want to be this way forever. Athena pulls her knees toward her chest and continues to cry, her ears start to ring to the point that she feels nauseous.

A small rustle is heard behind her and jumps. Athena forced herself onto her feet and looks down the grassy hill of the shoulder. She slips her hand into her jacket pocket and pulls out her sheathed dagger. Athena never actually used her dagger before, and she never exactly wanted to. But, in this moment she didn't know what was down there and she had to be prepared. Athena takes small and cautious steps down the hill.

Athena has been going through some turmoil over this past year. But one thing that never changed about Athena was he clumsiness.

And this definitely shows that.

Athena trips over her foot and she gasps, "Shit" Athena stumbles down the hill and hits the ground hard. She stays laying in the grass for a moment, her body aching. "Damn my lack of coordination..." she rolls onto her stomach and stands up. Athena looks at her sheathed dagger and lets out a breath of relief. She hears another rustle from the side and she grabs her knife and unsheathes it.

Athena squints her good eye and spots a moving plastic bag a few feet away. Any other time Athena would think it's just the wind moving it and move on. But Athena felt something bugging her, and she felt like she had to check it out. Athena approaches the plastic bag with caution and raises the dagger. Her hand starts to shake as she crouches down to the bag. Then she hears something that stops her in her tracks.

She hears a purr.

Athena pulls her brows together and tilts her head. She sheathes her dagger and pulls the plastic bag open. It was an all black short-haired cat. Athena pulls her hands away from the bag and her hands start to shake. Her breathing quickens and her mind goes back to the basement with Victor.

That was the day she never loved cats the same. It made her skin crawl just looking at it. Athena's lower lip quivers. How could something that used to bring her so much joy now bring her such disgust? The car shifts it's bright green eyes to Athena and her stomach twists. Then the cat softly meows. Athena looks at the cat and her eye notices that one of the cat's ears are missing. She pulls her brows together and lightly raises a hand to the ear.

The cat flinches and Athena freezes. "I, uh...I'm not gonna hurt you." She softly speaks. Athena takes her backpack off and opens it. She grabs her first-aid kit. "I just want to help..." Athena shifts her eyes to the cat's missing ear. It must've been freshly cut, the bleed was bad and Athena didn't want the cat to go unattended for long.

Athena holds her hand in front of the cat and it sniffs her hand. The cat then softly purrs and Athena lightly runs a finger under its chin. The cats eyes fall shut, it's face relaxes and so does Athena's.

Athena opens the first-aid kit and pulls out ointment, bandages, and peroxide. She sucks in a breath. "Okay, this is all we have right now." Athena shrugs a shoulder. "This is going to hurt."

Athena pouts some of the peroxide onto her hands. She then lightly runs one of her fingers against the cat's injured ear, applying the peroxide. The cat flinches and lets out a cry. Athena pulls her hand back. "Okay, let me wrap your...non existent ear." She applies ointment on the ear and wraps it with bandages. Athena then puts everything back into her bag and sighs.

"I can't believe someone just left you here..." Athena bites the inside of her cheek. The cat steps out of the back and lumps over to Athena. She softly chuckles as the cat crawls into her lap and lays down.

Athena keeps her hands raised as the cat purrs itself to sleep. She keeps her eye on the cat then she looks at it's ear. "You're kind of...just like me." Athena runs a hand across the cat's back. A small lump forms in Athena's throat and she chuckles.

"I used to love cats, but now they just make me think of one of the worst times in my life." Athena presses her lips into a small smile. "Maybe you're here to change that."

Athena looks at the sky and sighs. "Come on..." she slips her bag on and gently picks up the cat.

"...let's go home."

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author's note.

Short chapter but it's a cute one 🫶

ATHENA'S GOT A CAT!!! And it all falls in line with her trauma healing!

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