Prologue.

PROLOGUE , THEN HER PHONE RINGS

a/n : CONTENT WARNING!!! Attempted Suicide and past Self-harm scars

skip if needed!

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The landline had been ringing all day. The small contemporary apartment was quiet except for the weak cries down the hall of the kitchen. The atmosphere was dark, all the lights were off besides the dim ceiling light that was hanging from the kitchen. Her mind was plagued with memories she wished to forget.

It was all her fault. And she knew it.

How could she manage to continue to pick herself up after what had happened? How could she just pretend that everything was okay? The truth? She couldn't.

She wouldn't.

The girl opened her eyes and waited a moment for her vision to adjust to the dark room. She then wiped the tears from her eyes and exhaled a sharp breath.

Sydney Johnson was a strong girl. She could've handled a lot, especially as the middle child turned eldest sibling. But now the girl was all alone. And she felt it in her heart. There was nothing left for her anymore. Sydney felt like her world had ended.

All your fault.

Sydney flinched instinctively from the familiar deep cold tone that pounded against her skull. She looked down at her hands and turned them around. Her chestnut eyes stayed on the scars across her wrists. Sydney thought this was over. The itch that she could never scratch. She had healed. At least, she thought she did. A reluctant cry filled with shame and disgust had escaped her lips. She quickly covered her face with her dry hands.

She was disgusted with herself.

You should be.

Sydney flinched again. She pulled her hands off her face and dropped them onto the hardwood floor below her. The girl had always thought that her life would get better after she left the hunting life. But it got so much worse. She got so much worse.

Every time Sydney looked in the mirror, she didn't see that certain and out-spoken girl anymore. She was timid, self-loathing, hesitant. Sydney was smashed into putty and morphed into something that wasn't her.

No one would love you. Especially after this.

Sydney's gut violently turned. She can't do this anymore. The voice grew and the memories started to run through her mind quicker than before.

You deserve to die.

For some reason, this thought was louder than the others. She shifted her eyes back to her scars and inhaled a deep breath. Sydney forced herself onto her feet she ran her hands through her hair and closed her eyes for a moment. A decision now in her head.

Sydney opened her eyes and turned to her dresser. She rummaged through her clothes and quietly murmured to herself, looking for something specific. The girl had tunnel vision, all she cared about was getting this done.

The sooner, the better.

Tears filled Sydney's eyes. It was so hopeless. That's what it felt like. And this would make that feeling go away. Right?

Sydney's fingers came into contact with the item and it rattled. She curled her fingers around it and pulled the prescription bottle of Oxycodone out. Sydney hadn't even thought about the pills in months. As soon as her knee pain was gone, it was tucked away in her drawer and out of her mind. It's like her subconscious knew that she would need it someday.

Sydney swiped her tongue across her cracked lips. She turned on her heel and her feet padded down the hall of her apartment. She made her way to the kitchen and grabbed the lone bottle of whiskey.

Sydney never used to be a heavy drinker. But when she needed the nightmares and voice to go away, this would do just that.

Sydney poured the whiskey into the rim of the glass. She spilled the snow-white pills onto her counter. And For a moment. For a slight moment. Sydney hesitated. She saw the pills and alcohol and didn't want to go through with it. A small whisper came from her lips that came out as a question. "What about Laura?" She wiped her mouth with the back of her shaky hand.

When was the last time she contacted you?

Sydney's eyes welled with tears and her jaw clenched. "She's happy..." she slowly nodded her head. "Good--that's good."

The brunette exhaled a breath through her nose and grabbed the handful of pills. Sydney tossed the pills in her mouth. They tasted so bitter on her tongue. She rushingly grabs the whiskey, spilling some of it. Sydney let out a small breath before her eyes fell shut. She pressed the glass against her lips. Sydney tilted her head back and swallowed the pills.

Then her phone rings.

The vibration in her pocket stopped her from finishing the entire glass. Only a few people knew her phone number. Sydney could feel the skin at the back of her neck prick. Something was wrong.

Sydney's throat burned from the whiskey that had run down her throat. Even so, she grabbed her phone from her pocket. She looked at the caller's I.D. and raised her brows. The girl flipped her phone open and placed it against her ear.

"B-Bobby?"

Bobby continues to talk on the phone.

"What's up?"

Sydney tasted the bitterness from the pills and began to melt away. Her heart dropped deep into her stomach hearing Bobby relay the information.

"I-I'll be right there."

The phone call ended and Sydney set the phone to the side. She leaned over the counter and rushingly stuck her fingers down her throat. "Come on, come on..." the girl softly whimpered through her gags.

Finally, the brunette threw up in the sink. The pills and alcohol hit the sink. Sydney rinsed her mouth out with water and continued to gag against her own will. She then pulled her mouth away from the water. And a sharp breath came from her mouth and she shuddered.

Sydney's teary eyes watched as the pills swirled around the sink before racing down the drain.

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author's note.

The prologue was pretty short, but the first chapter is going to be long, so there you go.

words : 1039