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Hampton University, Virginia
Unappreciated by Cherish
Tues. Sept. 7th, 11:12AM
"Invisible Woman"

Dess excused herself as she rushed past a few people. She hurried to the table where Shai was sitting at. His head deep in a book while he write. She smiled as she creeped up on him about to scare him.

"Boo!" She said, pushing his shoulders a bit. Unfazed, Shai look back at her then went back to his work.

"I guess you can't be scared then," Dess mentioned. She took her bag off then occupied the seat next to him. She leaned close, expecting him to look at her. But he kept his attention on his work.

Dess rested her chin on his arm then poke his cheek. "Attention, I would like to have it." She told him.

"I'm doing homework," he replied in an uninterested tone.

Dess rolled her eyes leaning off him then reaching for his pencil. She took it out his hand, stopping him for doing his work. Shai suck his teeth then turned to face her.

"Can I have my pencil back?" He asked with an attitude. He wasn't in the mood for any of the games that she wanted to play. Everything was still annoying him.

"You can stop working for a little bit. I want attention," she said, completely missing the attitude he was throwing her way.

"I gave you attention yesterday. I have stuff to do, so give me my pencil." He attempted to reach for it but Dess moved her hand back.

"You do know giving your girlfriend attention isn't a one time thing right?" She sassed, rolling her neck. Shai rolled his eyes, forgetting the pencil and turning away from her.

Dess pressed her lips together, not recognizing the attitude. "Alrighty then," she muttered. She handed him his pencil back, Shai not saying anything and going right back to his work.

"Well, could you at least have a conversation with me real quick?" Dess asked.

"Go ahead." He responded, not paying attention.

Dess said nothing on it and proceeded to say what she needed to say. "Umm, so the first football game is Thursday. And I'm cheering as well. Are you going to come?"

A bit of excitement showed as she imagined Shai standing here while she cheered. They could be closer this time unlike during basketball season. She's been waiting for this moment actually. It was something about cheering that made her feel better on the inside. Not only was she able to showcase her talent and was pretty popular on campus, she was now on the varsity squad and in first row. That was a huge jump from last school year, but many seniors had left and spots were open. Coach MiMi and Coach Louis saw the potential in her and gave her the spot.

Dess was ready to prove herself. She also wanted her man to see just how good she gotten over the year. Sadly, that excitement she was experiencing faded when Shai responded.

"I'm not going to the game."

A frown showed on Dess face then she let out a chuckle, believing that she didn't hear him correctly. "You said you're going?" She questioned.

"I said I'm not." Shai corrected her.

"But I'm cheering this time around," she repeated. "You have to come and see me."

"I'm going to the Y Thursday," Shai ignored what she was saying. He already had his entire week planned out. He was trying to stay far away from school as much as he could.

"The Y?" Dess let go of his arm and waited for him to look at her. When he didn't, she hit him hard on the arm. That got his attention. "Shai, the Y?" She asked again.

Shai sigh, "It's the YMC—"

"I know what it is." She cut him off. "Are you really sitting here telling me you're going to the YMCA instead of my first game?"

"I already told Niyah I was coming so I could get my job back. I also might pick up a shift that same night, but I don't know yet." He proceeded to say like it was nothing. Like he didn't admit to missing her first game for his job. A job that'll be there after.

"You can't be serious right now, Shai!" Dess raised her voice.

Shai suck his teeth, looking away. "If you're going to yell then we can end this conversation," he informed her.

That made Dess stare at him blankly. She was astonished at the way he was acting towards her. She didn't understand how they could be good one moment and the next he was being a dick. For no reason at that too. It was making her feel some type of way. Pissed but mainly sad. He would never treat her this way.

"I-" she paused, swallowing the huge lump in her throat. "I just want you to be there at my first game, Shai. It's only fair as your girlfriend." She continued, explaining to him but it didn't seem like Shai was even listening. He wasn't even looking at her, which made he believe that what she said went in one ear and out the other.

"You'll make more games right?" He asked.

"Yes but—"

"Then I'll be at the other games." He interrupted. "I'll end up seeing videos too. So, I'm not missing anything." He added as if it would change anything.

Dess didn't how to explain it to him how important this was to her. Her first time cheering on the varsity squad, front row, and at a football game. He was supposed to be her number one supporter. The least he could do, in her opinion, was show up. Just as she was about to voice that, Shai shut his book then placed it inside his bag.

"Where are you going?" She questioned, sadness heard in her voice. She kept her attention on him as he stood up from the table.

"Somewhere." He vaguely responded.

"You're not going to tell me?" She curiously questioned.

His secret ways were beginning to annoy her. They were also making her think of things she shouldn't be. She didn't want to result to that conclusion so soon but he wasn't helping her get rid of those thoughts. She prayed he wasn't doing anything of that nature and was just dealing with personal issues. That's what she wanted to believe badly.

"I'm going to class," he answered.

"But we're not done—"

"Look Axel and Ashley are here. Talk to them." He pointed at the two of the making their way to the table. He didn't wait for a response from Dess and started walking off.

Dess frown, watching him disappear in a crowd. Axel and Ashley reached the table then took a seat across from her. She placed her attention on the two of them. As usual, they were all up on one another. No personal space between them and Ashley wearing Axel's hoodie. She noticed it the first time when they were in the cafeteria. She put two and two together that same day. Oddly, she felt some type of way that neither of them told her about their relationship.

It wasn't like she'll disapprove. It wasn't her place to dictate who was right for who. But the least they could have done was let her know. Or maybe she was being too entitled to know peoples business. She just wanted to be included.

While speaking on inclusion, she thought back to her first game. Knowing that Shai wasn't going, she figured she'll ask them. She hoped someone would go.

"What's up with him?" Axel asked, referring to Shai.

Dess shrugged. "I have no idea." She responded. It was all she could answer with since she didn't know what was up with him. Shai refused to tell her.

Axel shrugged it off too then went right to Ashley. They started talking while Dess sat there awkwardly. She found herself looking around to avoid watching them interact. Indeed, they had to be dating. The giggle that came from Ashley did it for Dess. She cleared her throat, bringing the attention onto her.

"Umm, are you guys going to the game Thursday?" She went right in and asked.

"This Thursday?" Axel asked, giving her the attention she was craving. She smiled, nodding her head. She got her hopes up high, believing that he was going to come.

Unfortunately, he wasn't.

"I'm going to the studio Thursday." He told her. "I'm putting the finishing touches on this album. Releasing Friday." Happiness showed on his face as he thought about it. He was going from his first EP to first album. Things were moving great in his eyes.

Dess forced a smile, "That's wonderful." She faked her excitement.

"What about you?" She turned to Ashley.

She shook her head then replied, "No, I'm not going. I'm going with my mom to help my aunt move out her place. Her and her wife are having issues again." She rolled her eyes thinking of the issue.

"Your Aunt Mary?" Axel questioned and she nodded her head.

"Yup. It's an everyday cycle with the two of them. But I know when my aunt comes over, she's going to make one hell of a pot roast. I'm about to tear that shit up."

"You should have your mom make that apple pie again. I devoured that shit within seconds."

"Literally ate the entire pie."

They continued talking, leaving Dess out of the conversation. She awkwardly sat there while they went back and forth. Laughing and enjoying one another's presence. So, this is what loneliness felt like? She didn't like the feeling. She thought about saying something but it didn't seem possible for that to happen.

"Umm, so I was thinking..." she stopped since they didn't hear her. She tried again.

"I'm cheering on Thursday..."

One again, she wasn't paid attention to you. She decided to stop since she started to look stupid. She let out a sigh then grabbed her bag, getting up from the table.

"Uhh, so I'm going to go. I hope to see you two later." She said one more thing. But neither of them heard or said anything back.

Dess pressed her lips together, knowing where she stood. She was invisible.

🏀

Trying again. Dess was no quitter, especially when it came to relationships. Which is why she was at Shai's dorm. She wasn't going to force him to tell her anything but the least he could was tell her something. Help her understand. Or help her put her mind at ease with the cheating thoughts. She didn't think he was out doing that but one could never know. All she wanted was answers and a bit of attention from someone.

Reaching the room, she heard loud music coming from inside. Automatically, she assumed that Shai wasn't there. He wouldn't approve of the loud music that she was sure Elijah was doing. But she knocked on the door anyway and waited for someone to answer. The door swung open and the smell of weed hit her nose. She scrunched her face up, waving the smoke from her face. Shai definitely wasn't here.

Elijah look down at her, unamused that she was here. "I thought you were someone else. Bummer." He said.

"Sorry to disappoint." She apologized. "Is Shai here?"

Elijah shook his head, "Nah. I'm kinda glad he ain't cause he'll be a straight buzzkill. And his bitch ass friend." He remarked.

Dess slowly nodded her head. All that information she didn't need. She just wanted to know one thing. Since her question was answered already, she turned around to leave. Only to end up seeing a familiar face strutting down the hall. She continued to stare while Elijah leaned out the door and tossed his arm up in the air. Almost hitting her.

"The nigga came in clutch!" He shouted as Shamar approached. Both hands carrying two filled brown bags.

Dess stepped out the way. Shamar holding the two bags to Elijah then looking at her. He noticed she was avoiding eye contact, staring down at the floor.

"Your pops got this?" Elijah curiously asked, reaching in his pocket for the money.

"Yeah. So, if y'all start wildin' direct that shit somewhere else," Shamar responded on a warning tone. He was still looking at Dess, wondering if she was going to life her head up.

"Nah, we chillin' foreal." Elijah handed him the money. "You coming in?"

Shamar shook his head. "Nah, I'm good."

"Aight. I'm finna get fucked up."

"Gotchu."

They dapped each other then Elijah went back on the room. He slammed the door shut and seconds later Shamar and Dess heard him screaming. That resulted in Dess lifting her head and she saw Shamar was already looking at her. She wished that she gave him an attitude but she didn't have the energy to do that.

"You straight?" He nicely asked, catching her off guard.

She hesitated then answered, "I could be better."

"You need anything?"

Dess eyes widened and she shook her head. "No. No. Definitely no." She declined, repeating herself so she made herself clear.

"I didn't mean it like that. I just—never mind," Shamar chose not to explain himself. There was no reason to.

"Anyway, you mind if I walk you out?" He changed the subject. Eventually, they both were gonna have to leave out the same way too. He figured it was the least he could do.

Dess thought about it for a second. She let out a sigh then replied, "You have to stay in front."

Shamar nodded, not having an issue with that. He turned on his heels then started walking. Dess waited for a second. She checked out Shai's room, frowning because he wasn't there. She had no idea where he was either since he wasn't picking up the phone. But she had to let it go. She started walking, following right behind Shamar. He held open the door for her until she passed through then continued walking in front.

Soon as they were out the building, he came to a stop and looked at Dess. She stopped as well and stood a couple feet away from him. There was an awkward silence between them. Dess noticed him staring at her, making her avoid eye contact. She crossed her arms to hide her body since she had a feeling he was checking her out. He wasn't, this time.

"I wanted to apologize." Shamar broke the silence. Dess finally looked at him then pressed her lips together.

He continued, "I shouldn't have...you know did what I did. And said what I said. It was fucked up of me foreal and I sincerely apologize." He apologized again.

"I think your apology needs to be directed to Shai. Not me." She told him.

"I mean yeah but I also said some things about you as well. I shouldn't have said it either way and I'm sorry." He mentioned.

Dess sized him up and down. She wanted to accept his apology but wasn't sure if he was being genuine. Before he showed how much of an asshole he was. Now, he was showing the opposite so she was confused. Which Shamar should she accept? Should she even accept any side of him? Who knows.

Her mind was fuzzy right now because of everything that was going on. Shai was being mean and distance. Axel and Ashley weren't worrying about her. Freya was nowhere to be found. She hasn't talked to her father since move-in day. Or any family member at that matter. She was really alone and she didn't like that.

She sigh, making herself sad. She look down at the ground to hide her face form him. But Shamar had already saw the frown on her face.

"Yo, you sure you alright?" He asked again. She pushed back her hair, sniffling a little before lifting her head up.

"Yeah..." her cleared her throat. "Yeah, I'm fine. And I accept your apology." She told him.

Shamar hummed. He noticed she was not alright but he didn't want to pressure her to say anything. There was no trust between them so he didn't expect her to tell her anything. He was alright with that.

"Anyway, you're on the cheerleading team right?" He questioned, changing the subject out for respect for her.

"Yeah, why?"

He smiled. "If I say hi to you will you say it back? Or you have to stay in that weird cheering pose y'all have?" He jokingly asked, doing the pose for her. He planted both his fists on his hips and pretended to be the cheerleaders.

Dess chuckled, shaking her head. "That's not how we look."

"I beg to differ," he responded. He stayed in his pose, making Dess playfully roll her eyes.

"So, will you say hi back?" He asked again, desperately wanting to know.

"Maybe. It depends on how I feel." She truthfully answered with a shrug.

She knew deep down she shouldn't be talking to him because of Shai. It wasn't right, she knew that. But he was the only one that was actually talking to her like she exists. So, she was allowing it. Was it wrong? Absolutely, and she had a feeling it might create some issues.

"I have to go, Shamar." She announced.

Shamar finally got out of his cheerleading pose then shoved his hands in his pockets. "Okay. It was nice talking to you."

"It was nice talking to you too." She said back. Shamar gave her a smile, showing all of his teeth.

Dess pressed her lips together to hide her smile. Smiling at him? No, ma'am. She quickly turned around then started on her way, leaving him behind.

This was all wrong.

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Thoughts?