🏀
Hampton University, Virginia
Sandcastles by Beyoncé
Thurs. Sept. 30th, 7:23PM
"Are We Done?"

He was back at it. After his short hiatus, Shai was back at practice. With a somewhat calmed down attitude. The hearing really put things into perspective for him. No one cared about his status, so he would be treated like everyone else. He was actually fine with that. He didn't deserve special treatment but there was always one person that gave it to him. He won't lie, he appreciated President Yolanda for overruling the rest of the board members and allowing him to stay.

Only because he knew how hard reality would hit Dess if he left. Though still close by, he knew she wouldn't be able to handle him being gone. That was the only reason why be personally thanked President Yolanda for her decision. It wasn't because he adored the school and wanted to keep studying here. It wasn't because of basketball either. It was Dess.

Her and her only.

Shai dribbled the ball by his side after Ameer threw it in to him. Because of the high level of aggression and hostility going around on his team, Danny Adams decided to allow the boys to play against each other to let off some stream. He wasn't doing it on purpose or to stir anything up. He personally needed to see what he needed to work on before any scrimmages or games. It was also his way to see how Maxwell and Logan coached.

He separated the ten boys into two teams. There was Shai's team with Ameer, Skeeter, Gavin, and Parker. Then there was Dustin's team with Elijah, Julian, Michael, and Shamar. He also told them who they were guarding in order to keep the tension down. And to keep Shamar and Shai away from close face-to-face contact. As best as possible.

Soon as Shai crossed the half-court line, he passed the ball to Ameer then cut down the middle. Julian right along with him since he was the person guarding him. The ball kept moving, going from Ameer to Skeeter and back to Shai. He slowed down, dribbling the ball at his side again and giving the next play signal, a pat on the head. That caused his team to start moving. Both Parker and Gavin in the paint, their hands up high as they called for the ball.

Ameer and Skeeter on opposite sides while Shai was up top. He continued to look around, making eye contact with Ameer. He gave him a head nod, Ameer knowing what to do. It was easy to move since Elijah was guarding him. He was the worst type of defender on the team. Ameer moved Elijah's hand off him then ran towards the middle, getting wide open. Shai passed the ball to him and he was able to get an easy layup. The score now 56 to 24. Shai's team winning.

Shai and Ameer slapped hands with each other while everyone jogged back. Shai's attention stayed on the ball that was in Dustin hands. He dribbled over the line and that's when Shai bent at the knees and held his hand out in front of Dustin. He stayed with him, following Dustin's every move. He had him locked in, struggling to get free and pass the ball off. At any moment, Shai could tip it out his hand and have a fast break.

Dustin's team didn't want that. He stopped dribbling the ball then made a T with his hands, calling a timeout. Danny blew his whistle to grant Dustin's timeout. Shai smiled hugely as he walked over to Maxwell and Logan.

Logan patted his shoulder. "That's what I was talking about," he told him, slapping hands. The boys gathered around in a circle, Maxwell grabbing his white board and squatted on the middle of them.

"When Logan and I are talking about staying on them, that's what we mean," Maxwell informed them, erasing the marks that was already on the board.

"Y'all are doing good but I need us to run Blue Morgan properly," he said while drawing on the board. All the boys watching.

"I understand we're up right now but this is a run through of how it'll look during an actual game. We need to work on our ball movements and our passes. I want us to run Blue Morgan with at least five passes before a shot is made. Understood?"

The five boys responded simultaneously at Maxwell's question. Danny blew his whistle for them to get back to it. The boys gathered back on the court and went to their spots. Shai was at the top like always, standing in front of Dustin. He had the ball and soon as Danny blew the whistle, the game was back on.

Everything went by smoothly. The ball was flying through the air from one player to the next. Shai stayed with Dustin since that was his match. Running right after him, assuring that he didn't receive the ball. It was clear that it was going in Shamar's direction instead. Soon as the ball landed in his hands, it was as if a spark shot right through him. He had to make things about himself like always.

He dribbled the ball hard then started to charge for the middle, ignoring the loud claps coming from Julian and Michael. Since Gavin and Parker were already there, they attempted to block his layup. It didn't work. Shamar jumped and released the ball from his hands, making it in the basket.

Instantly, Danny blew his whistle. "Foul!" He shouted, pointing at Gavin. The young man suck his teeth and then was met with encouraging words from teammates.

"Two shots for Shamar." Adams told him. Shamar clapped his hands and stood at the foul line. He got the ball, making the first shot effortlessly.

Shai moved back and watched from there. Shamar was given the ball again for his second foul shot, making it. The score now 56 to 28. Shamar turned around and ran back, noticing Shai was already standing there. He specifically was supposed to be guarding Parker but he found the ball player boring. He didn't receive the ball and was always running around. He wanted to be right there with Shai regardless of what Adams said since he needed to be challenged. No one else could give him that challenge other than Shai.

There was only a few seconds left before practice was over with. Shai moved forward when he saw Ameer struggling to get the ball across the half court line. He wasn't paying attention to Shamar either despite him trying his hardest to make his presence known by coming into his peripheral vision. Shai didn't give a damn and did what he had to do. Ameer was finally able to release the ball and handed it off to Shai after struggling to get past Elijah.

Once Shai had the ball and started dribbling, Shamar was elated that he was given the chance to go against him. This was all he's been wanting lately. He wasn't supposed to be doing it but he didn't care. It was his opportunity to show coach, his teammates, and Shai that he was the best. He didn't come down here to just sit around and follow the rules. He came because Hampton needed his presence and gift on their court.

"Twenty!" Danny shouted the time.

Shai nodded to his team, Shamar watching to see what play he was going to run. He mainly paid attention to Shai's eyes, seeing them moving from left to right. A dead giveaway, in his opinion. Shai dribbled to the left of the court, handing the ball off to Skeeter, and occupying the left corner. The ball went around the court moving from Skeeter to Ameer to Parker then back to Shai.

Time was winding down, ten seconds left. While the rest of his teammates tried to get open, Shai dribbled the ball in between his legs while Shamar played defender. He was all in Shai's personal space making it hard for him to move the slightest. It got to the point where Shai stopped dribbling and held the ball, trying to see who he could give it to. But Shamar wasn't letting up. He got closer, stepping on Shai's shoes and not caring.

He held his arms in the air to block Shai was tossing the ball anywhere. Every step he took, it caused Shai to stumble back. Danny blew his whistle soon as the time went off in hopes that'll stop. It did to a certain extent. Shamar stood on his toes and tipped the ball out of Shai's hand then slightly pushed him. Shai stayed on his feet but didn't back down. He took a step towards Shamar leaving no space between them and kept his hands to himself. He struggled doing that. It was eating him alive being close to Shamar's face and not being able to hit back.

However, he did see the damage from their previous fight. Shamar's nose was still swollen. The blood in his eye from the busted blood vessel was beginning the clear up. All of that on Shamar while Shai watched around with barely any scratches. No marks on his body to clear up from the fight. He wasn't the type of dude that went around claiming he was tough and could beat anyone. However, when a person face was messed up and still in the process of healing, he deserved to walk around cocky like. And he wanted everyone to know that he'll do it again.

"Hey!" Danny yelled, approaching the two of them. That did nothing. Both refusing to move back, giving one another a death stare.

Right now, if there was anything to go down between them, Shai knew that he wouldn't be sitting in front of President Yolanda again. If he attacked, and he felt it coming any second now, he'll be say goodbye forever as he drove off in a pickle car for real this time. Handcuffed and sitting at the police station, awaiting a sentence that'll land him in actual prison. He didn't think he could handle going but he'll adjust accordingly if that's what he needed to do. If he attacked, it was over for him. Seriously.

"Whatchu wanna do?" Shamar asked, speaking up now that everyone was surrounding them.

"Don't get fucked up, Shamar," Shai retorted. His fists balled up by his side and he was on the verge of swinging.

That didn't happen this time around. Not because he chose not to do it but because Danny snatched him away like a bad child who wouldn't listen. Pushing Shai behind him as he acted like a shield. For his own protection. Though he vowed to himself to not interfere and let Shai be an adult, he couldn't afford to have Shai expelled from school. He needed him more than anything right now.

"Everyone out now," Danny told everyone. When no one moved, he realized he had to yell at them. The only time they seemed to want to listen.

"I said out now!" He yelled, scaring a few of the boys. They started moving, heading to the bleachers where their things were.

Shamar moved his head to the side in order to make eye contact with Shai. He gave him a smirk just to piss him off more. Shai glared at him, many violent thoughts running through his mind. He was upset that he didn't get to actually end Shamar's life the first time around. Surely, he was going to get another chance and when it came...no one could stop him. He meant that.

"Get out," Danny demanded since Shamar didn't move.

"Yes, coach." Shamar said then walked off, going to the bleachers. He didn't bother to grab his things and leave. Instead he sat down and watched Danny, Maxwell, and Logan talk to Shai. Like always they were babying him.

"It's still on with that nigga," Elijah mentioned, holding his hand out. Shamar sized him up and down then proceeded to dap him up. He was sick of him too.

"I'm still mad as hell he ruined my party. Chanel doesn't even want to come to the room cause of that nigga. Shit blowing me," Elijah ranted. He was putting on  a scene just to get a reaction out of his peers. No one was worrying about him.

He continued anyway. "You need to really fuck that nigga up on God, Mar. Take it out into the streets and really handle the nigga."

"Bro, shut up!" Ameer finally interfered. He was another person that had reached their breaking point. His was with Elijah.

Since Shamar came around, Ameer noticed how Elijah was always up his ass. Asking questions, cheering him on, and just overall being right up on Shamar. It was annoying Ameer because that's all Elijah talked about. Shamar this. Shamar that. How was Shamar going to handle Shai? When was Shamar going to deal with Shai? More ridiculous questions that Ameer was tired of hearing. At some point, he knew he was about to go off. That was happening right now.

"Who?" Elijah questioned. He turned to face Ameer, feeling threatened now.

"You!" Ameer raised his voice, pointing at Elijah. "You're steady on Shamar's dick bro and that shit is annoying. You befriended a dude that took your fucking spot on the team, and is using your dumbass. A damn dummy." He went off.

Elijah stared at him, thinking of a comeback but had nothing. Ameer suck his teeth then grabbed his things, walking off. He knew Elijah didn't have anything to say because he needed Shamar to boost his head up. He was always using someone else to make himself better. First he went after Shai. Now, he was running around with Shamar. Ameer was over it.

Shamar watched as the rest of the boys walked off right behind Ameer. Elijah turned around to look at him, Shamar wondering why he was staring at him. He wasn't coming in to save no one. He never cared for Elijah and was using him to get to Shai. Now, that he had gotten to where he needed with Shai, he didn't need Elijah around anymore. He was just stringing him around just to have him there. That's all and he didn't care. He went back to looking at Shai who was still being coddled by Danny, Maxwell, and Logan. He was going to put an end to all of that.

Fuck what his dad said.

🏀

Her hair blew in the wind. Her eyes shut as she listened to the sounds of the ocean. The cool breeze and droplets of water touching her body was the reason why she enjoyed coming to the beach. The peace and quiet. The warm sand on her feet. The smell of the ocean. The calmness of being in one's mind, your thoughts being clear for once. That's how Dess felt as she sat on the grainy sand of Virginia Beach.

The stars in the night sky shined brightly on her. The full moon out and looking beautiful as ever. Dess never felt more harmony and peacefulness before. With everything that's been going on, this is what she craved the most. A moment for her to see things through and really think about her choices. Her life. Her family. And most importantly, her relationship.

Lately, she's been struggling with bad thoughts flooding her mind. She didn't like how fearful she was of Shai. Not once did she ever think she would feel that way towards him. However, lately he hasn't been himself. She understood why and wasn't attacking him for that. But it was the feeling of all that anger he spurred out eventually coming towards her. She went back to their previous situation.

The way he responded to it. The way he couldn't even finish his sentence because he was too frustrated. The way he looked at her and those eyes showing red. Though it seemed as if they were alright for the most part, deep down Dess wondered if any other situations pop up, would he act violently towards her. Would he put his hands on her? She didn't think it was in him, the real Shai at least. The one that had ahold of his body now was the one she was afraid of.

Until addressed, Dess wasn't sure if this was going to work out in the way Shai wanted. Marriage. Kids. All of that was nearly out the door with Dess. But before she made any drastic choices that she might regret later, she was going to communicate. Something that needed to change in their relationship badly.

Dess slowly opened her eyes and took in the fresh air. She loved being outside if it meant sitting there and looking at nature. She wished for more of this. Her and Shai being alone together. No drama. No arguing. Just them in one another's space, enjoying the presence of the other. She was upset that she was about to ruin this. But she had to. For the sake of herself and their relationship, she needed to.

Looking to her side, Shai sat beside her tracing his finger in the sand. To her, it looked like his inner child was coming out. She leaned close to him, resting her head against his arm.

"What are you drawing?" She asked, breaking the silence.

Shai shrugged. "I don't know. The sand just feels good," he replied. He turned to look at her, Dess giving him a small smile.

"Can we talk?" She asked.

"Okay," he agreed. He wiped the sand off his finger then brought his knees to his chest. Dess adjusted herself so her body was facing him. She fixed the blanket they sat on then crossed her legs.

"I really need you to listen and when I'm done then you can go. Is that alright?"

Shai nodded.

"Okay," she muttered. Her stomach was tightening as she grew nervous. She didn't think she could do this. The thought of upsetting him didn't sit right with her. She understood the role she played in his life and if she left, she didn't know how he was going to be. Still it needed to be done.

She swallowed hard then took a deep breath. "I just want to start off by saying that I love you," she started.

"I love you too," he commented back.

"Good. I know you do and I know you would do anything for me. I also know that you'll protect me and would never harm me. But lately..." she paused her sentence feeling a lump grow in her throat. Her eyes started to water, which made her lower her head. This was much harder than she thought.

She saw Shai's hand and soon felt him touch her chin. He lifted her head, "It's okay," he said. He wiped the tear that had fallen.

Dess reached for his hand, moving it from her face, and holding it. "Shai you've been scaring me a lot with your actions. You're meaner than usual. More aggressive. You're not as attentive as you used to be either. It's like you're not really here. Not just with me but with Axel as well. He told me that you and him don't talk like that anymore. You isolate yourself and when you are around people, it doesn't feel like you're with us. You're just not yourself. It feels like there's a dark spirit around you and I don't—I don't really like it."

"Actually, I don't think I can handle it anymore." She continued. "What I'm saying is that...I'm having a hard time wanting to stick around when you keep pushing me away. And being violent and mean towards me and others. You're not the same as you used to be and I don't think I'll be able to handle it any longer."

"Are you breaking up with me?" Shai spoke. That question hitting Dess hard. It hit Shai even harder at the thought of her wanting to leave him.

"I—" Dess found herself stuck. She didn't know how to answer.

It was a complicated question. No, she didn't want to break up. She loved the hell outta him. Wanted to live the rest of her life with him, get married and have kids. That was the dream they shared. But she couldn't see herself sticking around if she feared what might happen if they got into arguments or disagreements. She couldn't deal with the ignoring and the brushing her feelings under the rug. Problems needed to be addressed and handled. And more importantly, they needed to communicate. Shai didn't do that and she couldn't keep dealing with it.

They may have been young but she knew what she wanted in a man. She wanted Shai but needed him to change. Badly.

"No, I'm not breaking up with you," she answered after contemplating to herself. All in all, she didn't. That was the truth.

"But?" Shai asked since he could feel that coming.

"But I refuse to keep dealing with some of the stuff that you do," she said. "You don't communicate well. You isolate yourself. You don't voice what's going on with your mental specifically. You've been violent recently. You haven't been listening and you tend to brush my feelings under the rug."

"Like the whole situation with you know who. I apologized for doing what I did and I meant it. When you apologized, it just felt like you used your mental health as an excuse for how you treated me. I'm not trying to come at you either. I know you have a lot going on and I'm here to help, but you make it hard to do so when you use it as an excuse to do me wrong sometimes. I really do love you, Shai, and I want us to get married and have babies. A lot of them. But that won't happen if we don't fix things."

Dess finished, feeling a boulder lifting off her shoulders. She expected Shai to get mad and snatch his hand away. He didn't. He looked off towards the ocean. She waited for a response while rubbing his hand.

"So, what would you like for to do?" He finally spoke, turning to look at her. Dess could see the genuine in his eyes.

She let go of his hand then reached for her purse. She's been waiting for this moment. She didn't do it earlier since she didn't know how he would take it. She didn't have to worry now. Taking out a pamphlet, she moved her purse out the way then handed the pamphlet to him. Shai taking it out her hand and reading the cover.

"Did you know that there's a therapist on campus?" She questioned. Shai shook his head while he continued to read the pamphlet.

"I met him when I went to the women's center while you weren't talking to me. He's really nice and gave me this pamphlet in case I needed to come see him. His office is open 24/7. Like the door is literally always open and he's in there playing music. I'm not sure if he has clients at the moment but you should go see him," she suggested.

"Or you can go to an actual therapist somewhere out here. I just don't want you to have to come out of pocket. Help is help though and I want you to get it. Professionally. I don't want us to break up, so if we can fix things then let's do that."

Shai continued reading the pamphlet, keeping his comments to himself. He instantly knew he shouldn't. "I don't want to go therapy," he voiced. Dess pressed her lips together, getting upset. She really thought he would do this for their relationship. Clearly he didn't care.

"But I'll go for us," Shai agreed. He refused to let Dess slip through his finger and if he could save his relationship then he will do just that. He would've never picked therapy as the option to fix it but it was what Dess chose. He wanted to handled his problems on his own. He was still going to do that regardless.

"Really?" Dess reached for his hand and squeezed it in excitement. Shai sigh then turned to face her. He saw how happy she was and knew this meant a lot to her. He was only doing this for her. He couldn't guarantee he'll cooperate during sessions though.

"Yeah, I guess." He said. "I don't want to but I don't want us to break up. I know there are things I need to work on. Better communication is needed, I know. I'm working on that. I don't want you to be scared of me though, Dess."

"I will never, ever, put my hands on you. No matter how mad I'll get at things, I'll never do anything to you. Never!" He emphasized, calming her mind.

"So, I don't want you to think that I will because I won't. Seriously. I know I've been mean and violent due to what's going on. I mean this when I say that I'm done. I really am done with this shit because it's draining and I'm tired of constantly entertaining this nigga. I'm just going to let him do whatever the hell he wants and leave it be. I mean that."

"Do you really mean it?" Dess questioned, desperately wanting to know. She was also done with what was going on and wanted things to go back to normal. She wanted her baby back.

Shai nodded. "I really do mean it."

Dess stared at him for a moment. Water droplets still hit her and the wind blew her hair. She continued rubbing his hand trying to see if was serious. His eyes. His brown eyes were soft again. Sincere and honest. She believed him.

"You do this for me and I'll do whatever for you. I promise."

🏀

Thoughts?