"𝚠𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚖𝚎 𝚞𝚙 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚒𝚝'𝚜 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛
𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚒'𝚖 𝚠𝚒𝚜𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒'𝚖 𝚘𝚕𝚍𝚎𝚛
𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚒 𝚠𝚊𝚣 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚢𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏
𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒 𝚍𝚒𝚍𝚗𝚝 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚒 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚝"

---

I think we're in a castle made of glass.

Light is trapped on the invisible walls, and my voice echoes around us, dancing on and off icy surfaces.

"Astrid, where are we?" I ask my laughing, giggling sister.

Her bright, glazed eyes find mine in the distance between us. "We're together, T!" she exclaims, with the happiest grin painted on her face.

"I know," I smile, infected by her inexplicable ecstasy, "but where?"

I look around again, and notice that everything is bright and illuminated.

"I think we're in fairyland," she whispers, drunk with delight. Spinning in circles, she dances around the white abyss, and something churns in my gut as the distance between us increases.

I ignore the nagging feeling, and a bubbly snort of laughter spouts out of my mouth seeing her joy. Then my eyes trail downwards and I notice something odd.

"Astrid!" I cackle with hilarity, "You lost your shadow!" Looking down at the ground beneath me, I find my dark, deformed clone standing obediently at my feet. Where was hers?

Something unreasonably funny about her missing shadow has me bending over in a hysterical fit. Tears form at the corners of my eyes as I struggle against the urge to throw myself on the floor.

"I'm so happy for you, Teagan, and I've always loved you most, sister," she says, and I hear her affectionate smile. Her voice is melodic, ringing like a love song in my ears.

"No!" I argue, having recovered from the unending laughter that had rendered me helpless against it. It had felt like invisible, prying fingers were digging at my stomach, forcing me to conform to the uncontrollable sensation.

When I look up, Astrid isn't there. I spin around, smiling at her antics. Now where could she have possibly hid in this white oblivion? "Astrid!" I sing, my eyes searching in the dazzling light.

There's no sound. No footsteps. No Astrid.

I call her name again, losing my grin. "Come out, this isn't funny." I run in one way, then decide against it. My feet carry me in another direction. With the same unchanging surroundings, I've lost all sense of direction.

Suddenly, it's dark. Someone's switched off light.

"Astrid!" I beg, coaxing her to come out. "Where are you?" I can't see anything, and my eyes claw against the heavy black blanket to find her. Oh no, what if I wandered too far away from her? What if she can't hear me?

A river flows down my cheeks. A surge of sorrow, loneliness and anger slams against me, knocking me off my feet. I hug my knees to my chest, wanting to disappear as the sea of anguish crashes and churns in my chest. "Astrid..." I weep.

"Astrid..."

***

There's a saw against my heart. It's grating violently against my skin and flesh. Then it breaks past my crumbling bones until I feel it's cold, snapping teeth sink into the beating organ.

I'm writhing, but hard, relentless hands pin me down.

I want to scream but my throat closes up. I want to fight but my limbs are detached from their sockets.

I want my sister but she doesn't come.

***

There's some people in my abyss.

They're talking very loudly, waking me from my intoxicating slumber. The numbing, deadening tentacles of fatigue recoil from their vice-like grip on my skull as the voices approach.

Silently, I watch the interaction between the intruders, hiding behind my shadow.

"Sweetie, what are you doing?" the man says. Despite his stern gaze, there's a grin fighting to grace his lips. "You can't open Santa's gifts now!"

The little girl pouts, her green eyes twinkling as her fingers still on the sparkling red parcel. "Daddy, I saw you wrap the presents!"

"What are you talking about? Santa's elves wrap the presents," he exclaims feigning shock.

"Daddy, I'm five! I know Santa doesn't exist, but you're going to ruin it for Teagan." She returns to her perch under the Christmas Tree, and continues to peel off the label of the present.

"Astrid, sweetie, Santa doesn't liked to be told he's wrong." He comes to sit by the child, brown eyes playful, but makes no move to stop her from undoing his messy work.

"Well, Santa made a mistake, and I'm going to have to fix it!" she replies sassily, and hands him a sharpie. "Here, I tried to write T's name but I can't spell it right so you do it Daddy!"

The father is bewildered, as he sputters, "But this is your gift!"

"No, Teagan likes Shelly the Mermaid more than me," the little girl explains, eyes wide and serious, with wisdom enunciating her words, "and I don't mind having Tinkerbell."

"Astrid," her father smiles lovingly, "Shelly is your favourite doll as well. How about I fix Santa's mistake and get Teagan a Shelly as well?"

"No!" she counters, defiantly and her voice clearly hinted she was not going to back down, "We can't have the same doll! T thinks that's boring! Daddy, please swap the dolls, or she will be sad."

"Okay, sweetie," he sighs, repressing the urge of his watery eyes.

His daughter grins and leaps into his embrace.

The voices stop and darkness wraps it's slippery tendrils around me again.

***

Beep. Beep. Bee-

"Teagan!" A hand shakes me back into reality. "T, wake up!"

An invisible force snatches me out of my accustomed dark hole and thrusts me back into the vicious light.

Ugh, was this happening again? I groan as blinding lights filters through my lashes and strikes my tired irises. But despite the threat of blindness, I search for her. And there she is.

Dressed in a matching papery blue gown to mine, she stands over my bed with a bright grin. "Finally, you're awake! I've been waiting for days, Teagan!" Astrid says, staring at my face, like she was trying to memorise it.

"What happened?" Faint memories of a neon diner sign enter my mind and I remember the mouth-watering smell of fried food. Saliva gathers on my tongue.

"There was an accident, silly."

Then, it all comes crashing back. The screech of sirens ringing in my ears. The blinding pain in my chest as the entire world turned white. The warmth of blood running down my arms-

"Dad's lost his shit. This is your second time in a week," she laughs, "in hospital. Is this a sort of record you're trying to break, T?"

"Haha, so very funny," I retort dryly, then giving her a once over worriedly. "Oh my god, Astrid! What about you? Are you okay?"

Her chuckle shatters my apprehensive silence. "I'm fine Teagan!" Then, she skips a circle around my hospital bed to prove her point. "See!"

I sigh in relief. "I was driving... if anything happened to you, Astrid..."

"Please! Stop being such a worry wart!" she says, playfully rolling her eyes.

"What about the other car...?" Oh my god, what if I killed someone? Although technically.... they ran into us...

"I think the guy survived... heard he was drunk... but anyway let's talk about something else! This is depressing!" Dancing around my room, she arrives at the huge clear window, looking through it dreamily. "Can you believe it, T? We're in Miami..."

Snapping my head towards the window, my eyes adjust to the swarm of light before I can see the jaw-dropping view. Outside the glass in the distance, turquoise waves crash onto a golden shore, where a handful of exotic palm trees scatter coconuts.

"No way!" I gasp, unable to believe the view. "How are we even in Florida? I thought we were in New York..."

"I'm pretty sure Dad flew us in," my twin explains, before complaining, "No fair T! My view is of a highway!"

An idea strikes me. "Then move into my room!" We haven't shared a room since we were eight.

She falters. But before I can question her reluctance, she interrupts me with a annoyed snort. "Yeah, as if Dad will let us! I had to sneak out to come and see you. You wanted me to be the first one to see you last time, right? Speaking of, I need to get back to my room before the nurses and Dad freak. Also, don't snitch on me. Bye, T, see ya later." Astrid blows me a kiss before she scurries out of my room.

My head falls back onto my pillow, and I grin silently. Astrid and her reckless mischief.

Seconds later, a nurse strolls into the room, carrying a wooden clipboard. However, when she sees my friendly smile, she drops it and runs back out of the room.

Gee, did I look that scary?

—-

𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓴𝓼 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓰 ℍ𝕖𝕣 𝔾𝕝𝕒𝕤𝕤 ℂ𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕝𝕖 ❤︎
𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚟𝚘𝚝𝚎, 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚎 ☻︎

xoxo
Aviana