//

Repeatedly the words still ran through my brain.

"None of my business. None of my business. None of my business."

It was Saturday, but I was still curious of what Tom and Harrison had argued about. Harrison had said something in the line of 'You need to do it. I can't keep watching.' . I couldn't seem to get the unpleasant thoughts of it having something to do with me out of my head.. 

Anyways, today was the day Luke and I were seeing our mother. Luke had been excited ever since I told him about our mom's visit. It was weird seeing him so eager for meeting someone that left him before getting to know him. And no - it was hard fro me to see it from his perspective, she left me too and I certainly wasn't excited. 

My dad on the other hand reacted the opposite of Luke. When I first had mentioned my mother's name, my dad had frozen. When I had kept on telling about her little visit, he had comforted me, asking me if I was okay and all of that. I'm so grateful for my dad. I was fine though. 

The same day when dinner was ready, I had decided to ask dad if Luke and I could go grab lunch with mom some day. When the words first entered my dad's ears, he dropped his spoon in the soup, making it splash all over the table. Luke had squealed when I asked dad in front of him, but quickly stopped and just smiled as the spoon hit the soup. At first dad wasn't happy about the situation, but after some convincing and one of Luke's cutest smiles, he had agreed it was 'an okay idea'. Dad knew how important it was for Luke, he just didn't want us to get hurt if she would not show up. Typically dad thing - overprotective.

----

I woke up early this morning, anxious for the date with my mom. I had been tidying my room, texted Harry but he was of course still sleeping - even though it was like 1pm by then. I had showered and put on some jeans and a t-shirt. Only 1 hour until the meet. I sat down on my bed and continued reading a book I started some days ahead. I struggled focusing on the reading. I read the same lines over and over again and still fought to understand them. I have no idea as to why I was so anxious about meeting my mother again. Maybe I was scared of Luke forgiving her - cause I had no intention doing so. 

It helped my rapid heartbeat when my door opened and Tom stepped in. I quickly closed the book, got up from the bed and jumped onto him, hugging him tightly. 

"Why so excited?" He chuckled and squeezed his arms around me. 

"I don't know.. I just really need a distraction right now." I whispered and slowly let go. He chuckled and released his grip around my back to let me down.

"Why are you here?" I asked, smiling like someone who had just won the lottery. 

"I just wanted to see you. I feel like we haven't spent that much time this week and I missed you." He said. 

"Aw, how cute." I said and he rolled his eyes. 

"Also.. I wanted to talk to you about something." He said and I frowned. 

"Is he gonna tell me about the argument with Haz?" I questioned myself and I eagerly smiled and exclaimed; "Spill!" without thinking. Tom frowned at my excitement.

"Sit down." Tom demanded and nudged me to sit on the bed. He placed himself right in front of me and I almost felt my neck break as I looked up at him.

"I've thought about this for a long time.." He started and my smile faded. 

"This doesn't sound good."

"Y/N you have always been a part of my life. No wait.. um.. at my party back then. When we were in that room together, you rejected me and since then I haven't stopped chasing you. I mean, why would I not chase such a beautiful girl? It's always more fun when a girl's hard to get. Never.. um.. never would I have thought that.. that that girl was so much more than that. She's funny, charming, amiable, determined and so strong. She cooks terribly tho." He said and I started laughing.

"You're worse." I said. 

"Shut up, I'm talking." He said, trying to toughen up. I laughed at him. He squatted down, took my hand and intertwined our fingers. He bored his deep brown eyes into mine, making my heart beat even faster. 

"Y/N, you really are the girl of my dreams and I never would've thought you would like me back." He added. Butterflies erupted my stomach and my eyes got teary. Why was he so cute.

"So um.. fuck.." He stuttered.

"Do you wanna be mine?" He then asked making my heart drop.

"Wh-what?" I said, not smiling as I was frozen by the question.

"Do you wanna be my girlfriend?" He repeated nervously. A big smile grew on my lips as I had comprehended his question. I grasped his face and kissed him. He picked me up and clenched his arms around me in a firm grip.

"So? Is that a yes?" He asked and pulled away from the kiss.

"Yes! of course dummy!" I whined and hugged him tightly, almost choking him. He laid me on my bed and got on top of me. I just smiled at the handsome brunette boy hovering over me. My boyfriend. 

"I knew you were cute.. but I had never expected.. that." I said and made him smirk.

"Never expected what?" 

"Your speech." I said and smiled.

"You know.. you 'aren't that kind of cheesy guy'" I mimicked him and he rolled his eyes.

"My cute little boy." I added.

"Shut up." He said and pinned my arms against my bed.

"Why? I thought you liked my mouth open." I said and he smirked.

"I do baby, but not when you're not behaving." He said and placed soft kisses on my neck.

I laughed and tried pushing him off of me. 

"Tom I have to go." I said, giggling as his breath against my neck tickled. 

"I'm supposed to grab lunch with Luke and mom in 30 minutes Tommy." I said and it made him let go of my wrists. 

"Shit, is that today?"

"It is." I said and got up. 

"I really picked the wrong timing, didn't I?" He laughed. I walked over to the mirror to look at myself. Never in my life would I have thought I was going to be a girlfriend. And especially not his.

"No. It was perfect." I assured him and smiled. He slowly made his way behind me.

"I love you." Tom whispered into my ear, making my heart throb. 

"I love you." I said back and leaned into his chest, his arms slowly wrapping around my waist. If time only would have frozen and we could have stayed in that moment forever. 

"You have to go now." I kindly told him. He scoffed, but accepted it.

"I'll call you later, girlfriend." He said on his way out.

As he had closed the door I whined and jumped up and down. My cheeks was hurting from all the smiling. I had never been so happy. I grabbed my phone from my bed and was just about to text Harry when I remembered.

"I can't tell him." I sighed to myself and my smile faded. 

My heart was full of joy and I couldn't even tell my best friend.. 

----

Luke hadn't stopped asking about how she looked and how she was on the car ride to the cafe, where we were supposed to meet our mother. It had made me so happy seeing Luke so excited for something. We entered Cafe Liah and the waiter guided us to our table. Luke sat down besides me. He 'wanted to sit in front of our mother so he could watch her all of the time' he had said when I asked him. 

10 minutes passed and I was really bored. We had arranged 3pm and it was only a couple minutes late. Luke and I came early thanks to Luke's impatience at home for going. Luke was playing some game on his phone while I couldn't stop thinking of Tom. I picked up my phone and nothing had happened.. boring. I went to messages and changed Tom's name. 

Mine❤️

Ew. Even though I lowkey liked it, it was too cringe to keep.

Tommy<3

Better.

"Would you like to order miss?" The waiter politely asked.

"Not yet, we're waiting for someone. Thank you though." I answered and smiled at her.

The waiter returned my smile and went to the next table. 

"Isn't she coming soon?" Luke asked as the waiter had left. I looked at my phone. It was now 3:20pm and I was starting to get worried. 

"I'm sure she's on her way." I assured him, forcing a smile. 

"She better." I whispered irritably as I looked out the window.

She wouldn't stand us up right?

----

3:50pm and my patience had run out. 

"Luke we're leaving, she's not worth it." I said firmly and grabbed Luke's hand.

"B-but.." Luke said almost crying.

"I know how excited you were.. but our mother is not a trustworthy woman, she's full of crap. What do you say we go and grab ice cream instead?" I said trying to cheer him up.

"No!" He grumbled and ran out of the cafe and into my car. It broke my heart seeing him so upset. I won't lie.. I was actually open to the idea of forgiving our mother and letting her be a (minor) part of our life again.. and had actually also looked forward to having a motherly figure in my life. But I would never forgive her for this. Disappointing Luke like that and again leaving us like she did back then.. unforgivable. I didn't know why she didn't show up and to be honest, I didn't really care.

One thing I knew for certain was.. she was not my mom.