chapter four
4.2 GPA

When Eddie passed by Arwen's table during lunch, he knew that something was wrong. The usual smile illuminating her face and brightening the very world around her was no where to be found.

He made a mental note to make time in between his meetup with Chrissy after school and the end of his campaign to ask her about it.

Arwen sat beside Robin, ashamedly, only half listening to what the girl was saying. She hummed, trying to acknowledge what her friend had been saying.

Her mind wandered, and this time she'd let it. Just this once, though. Future lawyers don't overthink... but she'd let herself think, just this once.

Her mind wandered to no where in particular, yet everywhere all at once. Her thoughts felt jumbled, her head heavy.

The chattering of the cafeteria, in which she would usually pay no attention to, felt louder than it ever had. Maybe that was true, and it was. Maybe the chatter was overwhelming due to the upcoming game.

It was all too much, yet not enough at the same time. Arwen felt lost, alone, in a sea of people. She didn't like it, and it was something she'd never felt before. It was something she never wanted to feel again.

A sudden crash brought her out of her daze. Instinctively, she turned her head to the source.

Arwen wasn't surprised when she discovered that Eddie was the source, stepping from his seat at the end of the table onto it.

"But as long as you're into band.. or science or.. parties." Eddie waved his hands around dramatically, stepping over his friends' lunch trays, being extra careful not to step on any food. "Or a game where you toss balls into laundry baskets!"

"You want something, freak?" Jason Carver shouted, eyes narrowing in disgust at the sight of him. Eddie stuck his fingers at the side of his head to represent horns, sticking his tongue out at Jason. 

Eddie caught Arwen's gaze, sending her a smile as he bowed at her before turning around and jumping off the table. "It's forced confirming! It's what's killing the kids!"

Arwen couldn't help but agree secretly, though she was aware that merely agreeing made her a sort of hypocrite. As she was a conformative of society as well.

In band, on the debate team, at every sports game (she knew if she wasn't in band she still would be at every game, she couldn't help that she loved the rush of being in crowd and the cheering surrounding her) as well as being a straight A student.

"Arwen?" Arwen hummed, tearing her eyes away from Eddie.

"Yeah, of course." Arwen leaned forward, gesturing for her to continue. "Continue."

"Okay," Robin leaned forward, mimicking Arwen's actions. Her lips curled into a sly smile as she raised her eyebrows, "What'd I just say?"

Arwen's smile fell, "Um.."

~~

"Hey, sweetheart." Eddie greeted, smiling softly as he took a seat next to her. Arwen mumbled a hi watching her feet dangle from the rooftop. Her palms dug into the concrete she sat on, gravel embedding itself into her palms, but she didn't care.

The rush of pain and disappointment that hadn't stopped since she opened the letter just hours earlier was the only thing she could focus on.

"Are you okay?" Eddie's voice was gentle, filled with warmth. The sound brought Arwen a sense of comfort, calming her mind enough to form words. "Arwen?"

"Eddie?" Arwen's voice was shaky as she cleared her throat in a weak attempt not to show vulnerability. "Do you feel like... maybe everything you've worked for was for... I don't know? Was for nothing?"

Eddie's eyes softened, "You know me, sweetheart. I'm a freak, I don't have plans. So, yes. You could say that."

Eddie's tone was jovial, a lame attempt to try and lighten the situation or bring a smile to Arwen's face. He bit his lip, looking toward his feet when her expression remained stoic.

"Do-" Arwen cut herself off, inhaling sharply. "I don't know.. it's dumb. It's dumb, never mind."

"No, no," Eddie instinctively reached forward, taking her hand into his own. Arwen turned her head to look at him, eyes flickering down to their hands. "Arwen, it's not dumb. What is it?"

"I didn't make it." She said quickly, pulling her hand from his and covering her face "Into Harvard."

Eddie stayed silent, the shock of her words washing over him, "What?"

"I-I guess a 4.2 GPA isn't.. good enough for them." Arwen muttered, pulling her right leg up and resting her chin on her knee. "I worked my whole damn life for this, since first grade! I've wanted this."

Eddie choked on his breath. "Did- Did you say 4.2?"

While it was wrong, Eddie suddenly felt insecurity creeping up his spine. No longer feeling worthy of being near her, let alone friends with her.

He suddenly felt much smaller beside her, undeserving of her presence. Part of him knew it wasn't fair of him to be feeling like this, to be hurting unfairly when his best friend (at least, that's what he considered her, he doubt she'd feel even remotely close to that for him) was hurting so badly beside him.

"Arwen.."

"Yeah," She sniffed, shaking her head and blinking away the forming tears. "I know.. I know what you're thinking. I didn't make it to Harvard. Sucks for me! Other kids have it so much worse... you do. I shouldn't even be complaining."

"Worse pain does not take away from how you feel." Eddie felt silly saying it, as it wasn't something he'd normally care or even think about. But if it was for Arwen, then it didn't matter.

He'd do anything for her. Anything she asked and he'd have it done. It made him feel dumb sometimes, but he couldn't help it. One smile, one mumble of please and Eddie would do anything in his power to have whatever it is that Arwen wanted done.

Something about her being the polar opposite of him drove him wild. How she didn't look quite in place sitting in his room, on his bed.

He couldn't help it.

He didn't know that she'd felt the same for him. Arwen would go to the ends of the earth for him, a boy who'd she once thought she wanted nothing to do with.. The so-called freak who became her new best friend.

But that night, at the halloween party (that she had no idea why he was there in the first place. He hated parties) Maybe for once, just once, he wanted to feel normal. Just like she did. Arwen didn't know, maybe she never would know, but she knew that the night at the party changed her life.

She was grateful for Eddie. She was grateful she'd gotten so close to him. Even if it was in less conventional way that would be frowned upon. If she were being honest, that brought a thrill to it.

In the beginning, Arwen didn't want anyone to know about her and Eddie being friends, let alone that they'd slept together more than once. She didn't want people to look down on her, to think of her differently. Because she was comfortable being boring... conformative.

But one night, it all changed. Watching Eddie's chest rise and fall as he slept peacefully, his hair cascading around his head in the pillow and the moonlight casting a soft glow on his parted lips.

That's the night she stopped giving a shit ago it what other people thought about her friendships, let alone what people thought about her.

Arwen laughed, shaking her head and wiping the tears as she turned to look at him.

A real, genuine laugh, and Eddie's heart swelled at the sound of it. A sense of pride washing over him knowing that he was the cause.

"What?" His voice was soft and breathy, his eyes flickering down to her lips for a moment too long.

"Nothing." Arwen said, spoken barely above a whisper. "You're just really sweet."

"I do try." Eddie teased, loosely tossing an arm around her.

"Maybe Yale." Arwen muttered, "Not all the greats went to Harvard. Right?"

"Right." Eddie nodded, squeezing her shoulder. "Right.."

~~

a/n: idk if i like this guys