(the massacre at hawkins lab → papa)

｡･:*˚:✧｡NANCY, ROBIN AND Eddie all wear matching expressions of concern as they watch Steve stroll through the stuffy kitchen, calling out for Dustin Henderson.

"What the fuck," Eddie summarises what must be all of their thoughts.

"I didn't break him, I swear," Raymond whispers.

"I believe you, don't worry." There's an arm around his waist and oh, he's absolutely calm. "You two okay? I kinda figured you stayed behind for a reason."

Raymond glances back at where Steve is running wildly down the hallway, thinks back to the conversation, to Steve's reaction when he mentioned Nancy, to the way Steve mentioned Eddie.

"Yeah, we're good." He sighs. "Turns out, in his opinion, everyone's a hypocrite."

He can feel the confusion settle in that pretty little head of Eddie's, with the way his arm falters, almost slips, as though he were physically struck by the words. Raymond assumes Eddie already knows what the conversation is about and can't find it in himself to panic, not now.

Luckily for him, Steve is too fucking loud for his thoughts to properly connect and function and soon enough, he's no longer the centre of attention.

"Dustin! Dustin! Can you hear me?"

Robin is inches away from touching Steve's forehead, probably to check for any sign of rabies-induced fever, when the voice returns. The strange sound Raymond heard earlier, now clearer, closer and significantly more Henderson-like.

"That brings us to the question you first raised -- how and why is there a gate at Lovers' Lake?"

"Fucking hell," Raymond mutters and walks over to Steve. Eddie groans immediately, following in visible defeat. "Henderson!"

"Dustin!"

The girls soon follow, shouting the boy's name, trying to reach him. Raymond laughs when Eddie cautiously looks through the window as though Dustin would show up right outside.

"Alright, either this kid can't hear us or he's being a total douchebag."

Nancy promptly ignores Steve's conclusion. Raymond notices how she's got her concentrated face on and he's not ready to mess with her, really. That girl is more fascinating than he'd ever thought her to be.

She walks around the dinner table, eyes fixated on the ceiling above it. "Will found a way."

"Uh, what?"

"Will Byers," she replies to Raymond. "When he was lost down here, he found a way to speak to Joyce through the lights."

For someone who witnessed it all, apparently, Steve seems too fucking confused. "Lights?"

Raymond freezes when a hand finds its way to his waist again, but it feels familiar this time. He can't say his heart doesn't race all the same, but he does a decent job at not dropping dead. Not yet.

"They don't really look like they know what they're doing," Eddie mutters to Raymond only. Raymond sighs, eyeing the way Nancy and Steve fumble with light switches all around the first floor and a confused Robin who's still just... standing. Right in the middle of the room.

"It's not working," Steve finally announces. He's about to slump against the wall, back where he and Raymond talked earlier, when he looks up, his frown of defeat turning into a confused one. He's watching Nancy and Robin, Robin frozen, in the middle of the kitchen, slowly turning her head towards Nancy, who's already looking at her. There's a moment in which they have this silent exchange and Raymond prepares to ask what the fuck is going on, but Steve beats him to it. "Hey, uh... You guys seeing this?"

"No," Raymond admits, but Eddie nudges him, points, and Raymond follows his line of sight to Robin-- no, to the chandelier she's been examining. "What?"

Groaning, Eddie reaches out and grabs his hand, pulling him forward. He stands beside Steve and that's when he sees it, blinking fast to try and make sure he's not imagining things. He isn't.

The lightbulbs in the chandelier are off. Yet, something shines. Sparkles, rather. There are particles, similar to glitter, just floating around the lightbulbs, golden and orange and red.

"Woah," he finally lets out and Robin laughs in victory. She moves to the side so Nancy comes closer, always curious and ready to take action. Raymond isn't really surprised when she stands on the tips of her toes and reaches out.

He's about to open his mouth, warn her that maybe it's dangerous, but as she plays around with the sparkles, they appear harmless. Quite the opposite of danger, actually. They look like something out of a fairytale.

"Is that fairy dust?" Eddie voices his thoughts and he can't help but grin.

"Could be."

Steve is the next one to reach out and Eddie follows. Both of them wiggle their fingers around the sparkles and the sparkles move, like water. Exchanging glances and encouraging nods, Raymond and Robin do it at the same time.

It feels like liquid, too. It's cold, but not too cold. The particles float around Raymond's fingers, grazing them gently and he can't help but chuckle at the feeling.

Steve snorts. "It... tickles."

"It kinda feels good." Robin's confession makes it easier for Raymond to admit it, too. It's fun. So much fun. Almost enough to make him forget why they're here in the first place.

That is, until the light flickers and Nancy's breath hitches and she looks up at them. "Does anyone know Morse code?"

Raymond is the first to shake his head. "No."

The others follow suit and she sulks in disappointment. Raymond assumes that this is what she meant by Will using lights to reach them. Somehow, he manipulated the weird glowing particles to send a message. He imagines a scared little boy here, in this world, stuck for days, cold, alone, remembers the newspaper articles about Zombie Boy, remembers seeing him, like a ghost, going home every day after that, a shadow of the child he'd been before it. He wonders about his fight with Steve, imagines it never happening, imagines accompanying Steve to the Byers' place that night, witnessing it all right away.

Perhaps, he wouldn't be cursed today.

"Wait, does SOS count?" Eddie's words force Raymond's attention back to the matters at hand, and Raymond frowns at him. Everyone seems to have the same reaction. Under their gazes, he seems completely puzzled. "Is that... Is that good?"

"That's perfect," Raymond confirms. You're perfect, he wants to say when Eddie grins in response, proud of himself.

"He's right," Nancy follows. "We don't have lights, but this, whatever it is, it might help. It's worth a shot."

As Eddie attempts to send their message, Steve, Nancy and Robin back away to give him space. Raymond sits on the table beneath the chandelier, watching.

"You sure that's how it goes?"

Eddie raises an eyebrow. "You know better?"

Raymond shakes his head with a mocking smile and Eddie rolls his eyes.

"It's working!" Robin announces when two voices reach their ears. A voice Raymond can't really recognise and Dustin's, louder.

"...to Nancy's room!" is all he hears.

"Nancy's room," he repeats. "Let's go upstairs."

And there, he once again lets his heart sink into this odd kind of peace, of comfort, just for a second. It's a foreign house, foreign bedroom, dusty, old posters and teddy bears, but there are these people, his friends, kneeling by the bed, somehow communicating with his other friends through an interdimensional phone to let them know they're alive. Nancy's eyes are glossy and Robin holds Raymond's hand. Steve looks at him with this warm smile he wore when they first met and Eddie throws an arm around him and whoops when Dustin first yells he knows they're there. They're going to be okay. Raymond may not, but they are. Whatever it fucking takes.

When it turns out that there's a gate at each of Vecna's twisted crime scenes and Eddie's trailer comes to mind, they go to find the bikes Mike Wheeler and his friends used to always drag around, back when they were small enough to fit. Raymond miraculously manages to get on the back of Nancy's (because she's the smallest) and together, they're all off to the trailer park.

They mostly bike in silence, with Steve or Eddie occasionally throwing in a comment or two, comments that mostly go unanswered, except for when one of them decides to answer the other.

"You guys think we'll make it out of here?" Eddie asks at some point. Something weird twists in Raymond's gut.

"Of course," Steve reassures. "Did it before. Not me, obviously. El did. She was here and she came back. The monsters go through all the time, too. It can work."

"We're absolutely sure it's smart, going in without the girl?" Raymond blurts out. He fumbles with the fabric of Nancy's shirt as he clings to her tighter. "I mean, you guys all saw it, you saw that she was the one who saved your asses every time--"

"Not every time!"

"Yeah, and Billy died," he says, maybe a little too firmly because Robin's cheerful grin falls, her attempt to sound optimistic cut off by someone who wasn't even there. "So did Jim Hopper and who knows who else. Even with her, people died. How are we sure we're getting out of this?" Not us. You guys only. Not me.

There's silence, nothing but the sound of wheels spinning, of tyres crushing dirt, and then Nancy turns her head for a second, her smile not quite reaching her eyes. "Trial and error."

Raymond doesn't ask again. He doesn't speak, in fact, until they've reached the park, biked past vans and houses to reach Eddie's trailer, familiar, but with a darkness to it that wasn't there before. Raymond bets that the version of it that lives in their Right Side Up Hawkins isn't much different now, if it's officially turned into a gate into a parallel universe.

"That's gotta be a Guinness World Record -- most miles traveled inter-dimensionally," Robin quips and hops off the bike, rests it against one of the thin trailer walls. Nancy lets Raymond climb off first and follows Robin's lead, a little more elegantly. Meanwhile, Eddie claps Steve on the back because Steve's choking on those weird demo-particles.

Eddie walks into the trailer first, every step hesitant, waiting for something. When his hands tremble, Raymond grabs one of them and intertwines their fingers.

The place is a mess. It's always been a mess, jackets and coats discarded over armchairs, half-empty beer cans on the kitchen counter, a pizza box on the table, one piece left. Steve promptly grabs it, sniffs it and puts it back down, grimacing.

It's a mess in a sort of way that makes it look loved, lived-in. Eddie's never been crazy about it, Raymond knows, but he loves his home because it's exactly that. Home. A dark, twisted version of it.

He leads them all further into the trailer and Raymond knows his bedroom is at the very end, thinks about the posters they'd always discuss when they got high together, about everything else that hangs on Eddie's walls, but Eddie stops in his tracks and Raymond looks up from where he's been staring at the Upside Down vines on the floor and his throat runs dry.

There's a red hole in the ceiling. A gate, pulsing and alive, almost breathing. Raymond's seen one already, will probably see many more, but he can't help scooting over, closer to Eddie, trying to fight off the shivers down his spine.

"Goddamn," Steve verbalises his thoughts.

"This is where Chrissy died," Eddie croaks out. Raymond rests his head on his shoulder. "Like, right where she died."

A sudden movement catches Raymond's attention and he gasps. "Something's poking around," he mumbles and points up. "From the other side."

"I think there's something in there," Robin whispers. Eddie's hold on Raymond tightens.

"What the hell is that?"

There's a sudden ripping sound, sound of tearing fabric, and Robin screams first. Naturally, Eddie follows with an elegant manly shriek and Steve isn't much better.

Raymond can't even blink as he watches the hole in the ceiling as it rips open, revealing the thing that's been poking at it, a long wooden stick. When he tries to see who's controlling it, his eyes land on... a floor. A floor that's on the ceiling. Upside down. Right side up.

It's their Hawkins. It's Max, Lucas and Dustin.

"Hi there!" Dustin waves and Raymond lets out a genuine laugh, shaky, but true, at the sight of Robin's wide grin and the way Steve and Nancy look at her, at the look on Max Mayfield's face from the other side, at the way Eddie's shoulders shake with laughter beside him as he cheers and kisses the top of his head in blissful euphoria. Raymond doesn't want to die.

He comes to the realisation as he watches the kids disappear from sight to bring over an old, dirty mattress, as Robin, Nancy and Steve all look up at the stains on it and Eddie flushes, as Lucas laughs at him from the other side and Eddie threatens to kick him out of Hellfire. As Dustin and Max tie some sheets together to create a rope and then throw it up, only for it to reach the opening and somehow fall down, towards them, Raymond sees the looks on their faces, the pure determination and love for each other that they have in their fierce, tired eyes, sees the years of fear and loss and what they've all become. Like Will Byers. Shadows of themselves, but still stronger. Still there. And it's better than what Billy is now, what Barb is, what the sheriff is, what he himself will be if he gives up.

So he'll fight. For them, of course, for them and this stupid little town, but for himself, too. Because he's not alone. Not anymore. And home doesn't have to be a place.

"Henderson!"

Dustin looks up -- down? -- at him, those big blue eyes blinking at a pace that Raymond can't even process, practically holding his breath. "Yeah?"

"You're a bloody genius."

The boy's shoulders slump in relief and the biggest grin ever takes over his face. Lucas punches his shoulder, smug, and the two offer thumbs up in response.

"This is the craziest shit I've ever seen in my life," a dark-skinned girl speaks from beside Max. She's small, round-faced, barely over ten years old, yet her hands on her hips and the hard look on her face remind him of Dustin. Lucas, too. "And I've seen some crazy shit."

"Erica Sinclair," Eddie mumbles, "Hellfire newbie, but D&D expert. Can smite you, will smite you."

"She also helped last year," Robin adds, and Raymond remembers why the name's so familiar.

"The My Little Pony backpack girl?"

"Hey, I heard that!" Erica warns. "How about you guys move your asses instead of talking about my perfectly rational hobbies? Thank you very much."

"Alright, let's go, guys!" Dustin shouts right after. "One by one!"

Shit, right. They're supposed to-- yeah.

Raymond turns to Nancy and focuses on fixing her collar, lips pursed. Eddie watches him as Nancy clears her throat aggressively. Steve only shakes his head and backs away from the rope.

Robin watches them all, mouth open in disbelief. Disbelief is actually not strong enough of a word. Betrayal sounds more fitting. She stands the closest to the rope and it's like it's already decided.

"I cannot believe you guys," she mutters, then sighs. "Guess I'm the guinea pig."

Satisfied, Raymond turns back to look at her with Eddie chuckling behind him. Nancy, always attentive, helps her up, probably feeling guilty for having avoided going first. She offers her a smile that no one could frown at and Robin looks more certain than she was earlier.

The kids have already backed away from the mattress. They're now waiting for Robin to land as she clings onto the rope with all her strength, knuckles white.

"Come on, Buckley!" Raymond calls out. "A few feet and you're home."

She ignores him completely, too immersed in keeping her eyes shut and muttering a constant, "Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God..."

"What the fuck..." Eddie says to himself as they all watch her climb up and reach the ceiling before falling right through and onto the mattress.

"Gravity, I guess," Raymond supplies.

Messy hair in her mouth, eyes open wide, Robin grins as Dustin rushes over to help her up. "Oh, thank God. That was fun."

Her giggles are contagious because encouraged by them, Raymond makes his way to the rope and turns to look at Nancy, Eddie and Steve. Eddie is the first to walk over to him.

"Don't freak out," Raymond tells him, amusement curving his lips. "I'll try not to... get lost between two parallel dimensions or whatever."

Eddie does not return the smile. Any sort of amusement is nowhere to be found on his face as he simply leans closer and kisses the spot right above his eyebrows. Raymond's face burns, smirk long gone.

"Be careful," Eddie says and all Raymond can do is nod dumbly before focusing on climbing up.

Robin is absolutely right. After putting all the effort into climbing up all the way to the ceiling, then suddenly losing all sense of gravity and falling, landing onto a soft mattress is oddly satisfying.

He feels warmer right away, the constant cold of hours spent in the Upside Down making him feel grateful for the world he was born into instantly. He drops with a startled yelp, an attempt at a laugh, and Robin's grin is huge as she grabs his hands to pull him up. "Amazing, right?"

"Definitely," he breathes out and Dustin pats his shoulder with a smile. Raymond turns to look back at the ceiling, seeing Eddie's relieved expression upside down. "And that--" he points at the stained mattress. "--is absolutely disgusting."

"Fuck off."

The moment he stands up and dusts off his clothes, a weight all but throws itself on him. Around him. There's hair in his face, frizzy and ginger and it smells of grass and something sweet.

He takes a few seconds, just standing there frozen, until he lets himself breathe and chuckles weakly. "What's this for, Mayfield?"

She seems to tighten her hold at that. "Not dying."

Raymond hugs her back without a word, thinking of the proper way to tell her neither of them is safe yet, to tell her he's next.

Eddie visibly panics when it's his turn. He climbs all the way up and spends about thirty seconds just clutching onto the rope by the very gate, eyes squeezed shut.

"Move your ass, Munson, we're wasting daylight," Steve has to say after a softer 'You okay man?' that Eddie ignores. "Ray, do something."

"The fuck am I supposed to do from over here, you idiot?"

Eddie groans. "Nothing, nothing, I'm coming, it's okay, it could be fun, it will be fun, oh, Jesus--" He lets go with a yelp, but lands safely, hair all messy and basically in his mouth. He takes a second to catch his breath, eyes crinkled in silent laughter and Raymond can't stop himself from smiling. Max is watching him, but he's got eyes only for Eddie as Robin helps him up. "That was fun."

After about three suffocating hugs from Dustin -- the boy has apparently assumed one just wouldn't cut it -- and an impressed comment from Erica, Eddie is safely back by Raymond's side, and Raymond is satisfied.

"You wouldn't believe what we've been through!" Dustin says, eyes big. "We were in police custody!"

Raymond blinks down at him before deciding to silently consult Max.

"In Mike's living room," she explains.

"Oh."

"Fair," Steve comments from above them, mild disappointment lacing his voice. It's almost like he expected something bigger. Raymond has to remind himself these guys have been doing this for a while now.

"It was insane!" Dustin has to point out. "Callahan went all crazy and started yelling at us and--"

"The dumb ones are the scariest when they're angry," Lucas adds with a chuckle, before his little sister straightens up.

"And Callahan was angry alright. He asked us all sorts of questions, all that police stuff. He screamed a lot."

"Walker had to tell him to walk it off after Max talked back," Dustin says, chest puffed. He's impressed. Proud.

"Walker?" Raymond frowns. Steve's laughing his ass off on the other side. "Fucking hell, haven't seen that one in a while."

"Walker?" Eddie echoes, "You know Walker?"

Steve practically howls at that. "You don't? Ray's been in love with that man for years now."

Raymond rolls his eyes, ignoring Eddie's curious stare on his warm, probably blushing face. "I called him cute. Once. In his face."

"In his--? Oh, my fucking-- he could have kicked your ass!" Eddie is glaring at him now. "He's-- you know what they're like!"

"He's sweet, he didn't. He wouldn't." Raymond clears his throat and turns to Max promptly. "Good thing he was there. He's the only one with any brains—"

"Yeah, yeah, you can tell her all about him later, Ray, now get your ass away from that mattress!" Steve shouts from above.

"You brought it up first!"

"And now I'm bringing it up last, so shut up."

Dustin squeals from somewhere next to Raymond and nudges Lucas blindly. "They made up, they made up!"

"No shit."

Raymond feels an elbow in his side and Robin and Eddie stand there, grinning up at how quietly and delicately Steve is talking to Nancy as she grabs the rope. Eyebrows furrowed with worry, hands flailing all around him to hold her, catch her just in case even though she hasn't even begun the climb, Steve is mumbling something only she can hear. Raymond frowns. "This is weird."

"Right?" Robin mutters. "It's been weird constantly lately. Can't tell if he actually still wants her or not."

"Still cares, that's for sure," Eddie says quietly.

Raymond can see him glance at him a few times, before Eddie simply just stares shamelessly, not even bothering to be subtle. Robin groans from in between them and promptly slips away.

Eddie knocks his shoulder against Raymond's. "Hey."

"Hey."

"Good to see you in one piece."

"The feeling's mutual, Munson."

"Listen, I've been thinking and maybe we should get you some headphones, play some tunes, just to be safe." He raises his eyebrows. "I might know a place that's got just about everything Metallica."

Of course. They're at Eddie's place. If someone's going to have Metallica, it's going to be him.

"Okay, great, let's go grab it."

Eddie takes his hand, the soft look on his face resembling something Raymond's seen before.

Before he can move an inch, Steve's voice, sharp with alarm, gets his attention.

"Shit, Nancy! Guys, she's gone!"

Frozen in place, Raymond looks up to see Nancy standing there, by the rope, as though she never started climbing in the first place, completely still. He can't see her face, not from this far away, not from this angle, but he knows what it looks like. Eyes glazed over, milky white, lips parted in shock, trembling.

Before anyone can hold him back he pushes past Eddie and Robin and into Eddie's bedroom, heads straight for the music collection. Some cassettes are unlabelled, some labelled in too much detail, some are just broken plastic held together by tape and he shuffles through them, faintly aware of Steve's desperate calls and the kids' attempts to climb over and help out, aware of Robin and Eddie joining him in his search, aware of how Nancy never smiles anymore and how she helped with his bandage at the police station that day and how he doesn't fucking know her favourite song.

"Fuck," he mutters. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!"

A strong arm wraps around his waist, warm and firm, and he's pulled back. "Let me."

"Steve says you need to hurry!" Erica screams from the doorway and Dustin screams right back at her. Cassettes fly as Robin discards them one by one, rock artist after rock artist, and Eddie screams some more, but Raymond has his eyes closed, trying to picture her room back at the Wheelers, the pink music box, the Tom Cruise poster on the door of her closet, the two tapes he knows he saw right on the nightstand—

"Elton John."

The room falls silent. Eddie breaks the silence, "Don't have him."

"We can fucking see that," Robin shouts before she walks over to Raymond and plants a sloppy kiss on his cheek. "Dear Jeannette. I remember it now. You're a fucking genius."

She's out of the room before anyone can ask her how the fuck they're going to do this, since they obviously don't have an Elton John cassette anywhere in their vicinity, but when Raymond follows her out she's right there by the mattress, singing her heart out. Lucas soon follows, to Eddie's bewilderment, and suddenly, Robin Buckley, Lucas Sinclair and Steve bloody Harrington are singing an Elton John song to a paralysed Nancy Wheeler about to be taken by an evil witch.

"I love these people," Eddie says from somewhere behind Raymond and, as Nancy falls to the floor, gasping for air, and Steve lifts a shaky thumbs-up with his arms around her and tears in his eyes, Raymond couldn't agree more.

Nancy is fragile as they get her back to safety. She's shaking even as Robin wraps a blanket around her and she won't say a word. Raymond tries to make himself useful, brings her water, but she only holds the cup in her hands and stares at its cracked rim with glassy eyes.

"That was too fucking close," Raymond whispers once he's decided to back off and give her some space. Steve's hovering is enough.

Eddie's hand is wrapped around Raymond's. "Yeah. To think that you could have... been the one he chose—"

"I wasn't." Raymond turns to look at him. He offers a weak smile. "I would have loved to see the guy in person sooner, you know, prepare myself—"

"Don't joke like that."

"—but I'm here, okay?" He rubs the back of Eddie's hand with his thumb. "I'm here, alive and Nancy's alive, too. We're all gonna be fine." When Eddie gives him a slow nod, Raymond catches a glimpse of the dark, abandoned Upside Down on their ceiling. His skin crawls. He looks down and clears his throat. "Guys, can we, like... get the hell out of here? This place is just too fucking creepy now."

He looks over at where Nancy is. She's still sitting on the couch with Steve and Dustin on the floor beside her and when Raymond speaks, Steve's the first one to react and offer a nod before helping Nancy up. She's still weak, Raymond can see that, and it'll definitely take her more than a few minutes to recover, but she still walks over to him, places both of her hands on his shoulders and speaks for the first time since it happened.

"You have to be careful today."

"Wheeler, I know--"

"You don't understand." She shakes her head. "Put on your favourite song and do not turn it off."

The fear in her eyes. The fear of what she's seen, of what could happen. Raymond swallows and nods curtly. "You got it."

She nods back, brushes her hand against his face for a brief second and lets go, shoulders a little lighter, and Raymond feels a hand on the small of his back and turns around to face Eddie.

"I'm gonna need that Metallica cassette."

"Sure thing, just..." Eddie smiles sheepishly and Raymond realises his hand is still latched onto Raymond's side. "I'm not sure I know where it is. I wasn't sure before, and I'm especially not sure now since you and Buckley went through my collection so gracefully—"

"It was an emergency!"

Eddie squeezes his waist and Raymond shuts the fuck up. "I get it. I'm just saying, might take a while." He examines Raymond's expression, and Raymond feels his face get oddly warm. When Eddie's gaze shifts to his mouth and then away from him with an air of awkwardness, he clears his throat.

"Harrington," he calls out. Steve looks up from where he's been fixing Eddie's vest on him at the door and gestures for Max to watch Nancy. He shuffles over. Everyone else is already there at the door, ready to leave, curious looks sent in their direction. "You get the kids out and you be careful. We'll meet you there in five."

Steve's eyebrows shoot up into his fucking fringe and he looks between Eddie and him, lips pursed. "Yeah, sure." He nods before lowering his voice. "Gotta hurry up with the knees part, I see."

"Harrington."

But he's already back amongst the kids, grinning to himself and ushering them out. Whoever asks about Raymond and Eddie or looks at them expectantly, waiting for them to join, he simply insists they fucking move already before someone sees them crowding the door to a serial killer's trailer.

The silence is almost too difficult to bear when the kids are gone, their shouts growing distant until they're completely inaudible. Raymond is still, staring down at the dirty floor, painfully aware of the ghost of Eddie's touch still on his waist.

He makes the mistake of looking up. Their eyes meet and Eddie's are gentle, tired, pools of infinite warmth that Raymond would die to sink into, that have followed him for days, growing fonder and fonder with each one; they have been the main source of all his most beautiful dreams and of all the most terrible ones where they dim forever, and he wonders since when has that been the case.

Eddie gaze flickers from Raymond's eyes to the cut going deep through his brow, to his nose, to his cheeks, his mouth. Raymond's face is suddenly itchy all over, so he swipes a tongue over his lips and clears his throat.

"So... the tape?"

"Right, tape, yes-- follow me."

The absence of Eddie's hand on his waist makes a shiver run down Raymond's spine, as if he's complete with Eddie's touch and broken without it, as if restraining from it brings him actual, palpable discomfort and pain. Maybe it does, he concludes when Eddie's kneeled down by the pile of cassettes messed up on the floor and he can't help but absently trace a finger over his shoulder as he sits down at the edge of the bed -- the most uncomfortable bed in existence, apparently, because the mattress is currently a doormat for a parallel universe. If Eddie notices it, he only exhales sharply and gets back to work.

"Zep," he mumbles absently, setting aside one cassette. "Ramones, Bowie... Fuck, there's so much crap here. Sex Pistols. Kiss, there's nothing here, how did Buckley--? Ah, here we go!"

Raymond wants to kiss that triumphant smirk right off his face. "Found it?"

"Found it? Doll, it's looped. Practically gift-wrapped." He's still kneeling down, but he twists so he's facing Raymond, still grinning victoriously as he places the cassette into Raymond's palm. He doesn't let go. "You're welcome."

Raymond hums. "Thank you."

He doesn't look away for quite some time. Eddie doesn't, either, unless it's to look at the rest of Raymond's face or to grimace at the cloth wrapped around his throat. Raymond finally forces his eyes away, but Eddie doesn't. He only takes the cassette back from Raymond and puts it into the player. The sound is low, quiet, but it's enough to know they're safe, for now.

There's a part of Raymond that realises they're all alone, in Eddie's bedroom, that the kids are safe and taken care of, at least for now, and that the tape is not the only reason why he wanted to be here in the first place. That part of him has known it all along, for minutes, those miserable minutes of his heart drumming and his palms sweating, for hours, for days, for way longer than his weak heart can comprehend.

Ever since he landed safely on that disgusting old mattress, ever since he escaped the bats, ever since they spent that night together in the forest, ever since Eddie cradled his face in his palms as they sat together on the floor, surrounded by puzzle pieces, ever since he showed up on Raymond's door, terrified, begging for help, ever since they shared lunch in bathrooms and shared secrets in hallways.

"You think you're gonna graduate?" he forces out, his voice odd and distant.

Eddie's palm is clasping Raymond's knee, his other hand is in Raymond's, thumb impatiently working circles into the skin of Raymond's scarred wrist. "I don't know, doll." He sounds tired. "Why?"

"Just wondering if you won that bet or not."

His laughter is soft, quiet, and it feels private, like it's for Raymond only. He's closer now, somehow, the leather of his jacket brushing against Raymond's legs where they're swinging over the side of the bed, Eddie in between them.

"Depends. Which one do you want it to be?"

"Depends," Raymond copies, grinning. There's dried blood on Eddie's cheek and he wipes it off, softly. His hand slips to the nape of Eddie's neck and stays there. "Do you have twenty bucks on you?"

Eddie's breath is warm against his face. It smells like the gum he's been chewing all day. "You could check."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Absolutely."

The smile curving Eddie's lips is teasing, but it's not unserious, it's not another joke, another comment. When his eyes trace the way Raymond swallows, his smile falters. Raymond wants to make this real.

"I think I'm about to do something really stupid," he finds himself saying, remembers their last day back home, the attic, the sunset, the puzzle, and sees the way they are, here. In Eddie's room, on the edge of his bed, with Metallica playing in the background, like it's not the end of the world, like he's not going to die tomorrow, like they have a chance -- they could have had this sooner, had one of them been brave enough, stupid enough.

"Do it," is the last thing that escapes Eddie's lips before Raymond leans in and presses his own against them.

Eddie holds his breath at first, and Raymond's mind is racing, vision blaring red with warning signs, with thoughts that no, this isn't what Eddie wants, this isn't what he meant to do, thoughts that he's misinterpreted the situation once more, the way he always does, but then Eddie inhales through his nose and brings one calloused palm up to Raymond's face before kissing back, just as gentle, just as careful.

And they have all the time in the world. In this moment, with Eddie's breath soft against Raymond's lips and Raymond's fingers in Eddie's hair, they're their own. Each other's. Not anyone else's to use, to chase, to sacrifice. There's no rushing it, no making it sloppy and desperate because they might never do this again. Eddie kisses him like he means it and Raymond realises, as Eddie pulls him close, the curve of Eddie's smile sweet on his tongue, that it's because he does.

He's tugging Eddie closer before either of them can think better of it, and Eddie obliges, rather clumsily, with a knee between Raymond's legs to climb onto the bed himself. He's on top of Raymond within a second, one hand a warm and stable weight on his waist, the other touching his face, his shoulders, anything he can reach, as though making sure he's real, making sure they're both physically present and it's not a hallucination. To assure him, Raymond runs a hand down his broad back, slips his fingers beneath the cotton of his shirt.

It's when Eddie bursts into giggles and presses his forehead against Raymond's good shoulder that Raymond has to groan in protest. "Fucking hell, what now?"

"Nothing, you just—" Eddie lifts his head and blinks up at him, eyes big and shiny. He rests his cheek against Raymond's chest, gentle as always, and wraps an arm around him. "I'm just really happy, that's all."

Raymond chokes on a laugh, this giddy, ugly sound that he can't exactly control for some fucking reason, and before he can fully comprehend the embarrassment that comes with it, he's kissing Eddie again. "Me, too. Got to do it before I die and all that."

He can almost physically feel the falter of Eddie's smile, the way he almost flinches at the words. Yet, Eddie keeps his expression neutral, nodding weakly. "True." Hesitantly, he lifts himself off of Raymond, off the bed and turns the music off. He grabs the tape and hands it over to Raymond. Their hands touch. "We should head over to Mayfield's. We don't need them to ask questions."

He's looking at Raymond. He's waiting for him to say something, something to address the weird shift in the mood, but it's pointless.

"Okay," Raymond mumbles, heart still racing, face still warm, but the taste on his tongue is bitter.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:
it's been a while huh? anyways if anyone's still reading this HERE WE ARE

FIRST OF ALL I'M SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING!! i have no excuse tbh, i was just occupied with other works and with college and trying to write all chapters of this at once, not realising i should probably do it in order so i could actually update!! dumbass..

but YES! we finally got a kiss!! officially my first ship to ever actually get together! yes, my very first time actually getting to this part of a ship i'm writing so yeah. i'm pretty happy about it

the random character names you keep seeing which do not exist in the show (walker, tino etc) are all here for a reason, just be patient :)

only a few chapters left!! vol 1 is officially done! we need to make a plan and (attempt to) kick vecna's ass and that's it! i'm excited to continue writing this!!

so sorry for the wait again and take care<3