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restless souls
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Would this time of war soon be over? Not only in the physical world, but holding power over the spiritual and emotional worlds as well? Ashira had suffered under her sister's heavy rule for so long, and now the pent up pain and hatred of that past was finally beginning to bleed into her. It felt like heavy poison, filling her body and only escaping through tears. But she couldn't cry. Heirsa could be strong so why couldn't she?

She knew he was tired but he was as stoic as a wolf. He seemed incapable of betraying any kind of weakness, if he even felt any, to the rest of the world. The man was a pillar. The pillar she now leaned on.

Finally the tears did come and she could do nothing but embrace them. Crying, the soul's way of bleeding. So she bled.

Heirsa was here, but she felt distant from him. How could he love her when she was such a wreck? He was a man of decisive action and she was a woman of instability, at least in her mind.

She decided in the moment that she didn't care. She embraced her tears and her sobs emerged with triumph after being held captive inside her for too long. Heirsa rushed to her side. He caressed her and wiped away the evidence of her trauma. And yet, more tears came.

"My love, will it soon be over?" Ashira inhaled heavily so she could speak. She cried silently in his arms.

Heirsa lifted his wife into his lap and held her against his chest, kissing away her tears and murmuring solaces to her. He'd end this war if he had to it with his bare hands.

Grian felt an uneasiness as she lay awake in bed. She had the odd sense that she wasn't the only one feeling this way. She stood up, her silk nightgown falling over her legs and reminding her how far she was from home. She'd never worn silk before, never mind to bed. Heirsa had seen to her and Ronin being given suites of their own. Grian was quite sure the softness of the mattress and the emptiness of her room added to her restlessness.

She almost ran into Ronin as she left the suite.

"Are you alright Ronin?" She asked immediately. The question was so automatic. She was certain now that something was wrong, just by the air that surrounded her brother. His eyes were troubled, more so now then she'd ever seen them.

"Restless."

"Aren't we all," Grian shivered, having left the warm fire-lit bedroom and quilts. "But this will all pass."

"And when it does? What then?"

"I pray life will return to as it was. We'll be together again."

Ronin's tone lowered. "I suppose as together as is possible."

"What does that mean?"

"Grian,"

She lifted her eyes to meet his and was nearly overtaken by the darkness within them. She waited, prompting him to continue.

He blinked, inhaling. He couldn't find the words to unravel the mess of thoughts weighing on him. "There's something...I feel an imbalance within Heirsa."

"I've sensed it too," Grian nodded. "The pressure he must feel--"

"It's so much more than stress. I can hardly recognize the man he's become."

"He's married. Dedicated to his wife, and winning this war," Grian reasoned.

Ronin shook his head, his eyes shifting away from her gaze.

"You're worrying me."

"You sound like mother," A faint, weary smile perched on Ronin's lips, but it wasn't near enough to ease Grian's concerns for him.

"I have the right to. I don't know what you're trying to say about Heirsa, but I can tell by the look in your eyes that this is truly troubling you. I'm just finding it difficult to understand."

"Don't allow these demons to haunt you as well, Grian."

"No, I assure you my heart is untroubled. I only pray that yours will be put at ease as well."

"Your faith is greater than mine."

Grian hugged Ronin, sensing the conflict as if it were bleeding from his body. She closed her eyes and prayed that God would relieve him of this suffering. Ronin was placid, resolute and tougher than iron. The man before her now had been weakened in spirit and had a heaviness on his shoulders as she'd never seen.

His soul was not as ease as it usually was.

"You've settled your bloody politics then?" Heirsa asked, approaching just as Daven exited the room of parliament.

"The details are in progress right now," Daven nodded. "They only need to decide how many men to send."

"A small number is all I require," Heirsa said. "That is if Arc's army lives up to it's reputation,"

"I assure you, General, my men could outfight a pack of bears." A monotonous and authoritative voice sounded as another man exited the room of parliament. His hard gaze and keen stance told of a man highly tuned by years as a soldier. "And I'm quite certain your continued involvement in this matter would be unnecessary."

"I'm sorry, I don't believe I've had the pleasure." Heirsa matched the man's tone, meeting his eyes with equal gravity and domineering.

"Ratheir. General Marn Ratheir."

"Well then General, maybe I ought to step aside and allow you to take over the operation of overthrowing the queen. As the former strategist for her attacks and the one who developed her army's training methods, I'm sure I wouldn't be of much help."

"Knowledge isn't experience son. Besides, don't you have a brooding wife to tend to?"

Heirsa lunged forward, throwing the man against the wall despite being at least a hundred pounds lighter than him. He forced him back, holding his collar in a tight fist. "I'd suggest you leave my wife out of this," His tone was level and quiet, barely above a whisper. "Lest I tear up your rediculous pride and shove it up your arse." He spat the last four words, aggressively letting go of Marn's collar.

Marn appeared not to react but Heirsa could see him working his jaw in an effort to conceal his humiliation.

Heirsa turned to the King, who'd been lucky enough to dodge the unfortunate interaction. "Well then, let's get the battalions sorted."

"So, you feel like you're ready to go back out there?" Alexander asked Grian.

"I think so. I no longer fear losing to Shard, and I believe our effort will not be in vain." Grian met his eyes as she spoke, trying to read his thoughts. He was so different than most of the other men she'd met during the course of her life.

His jaw was now clean-shaven, and his face seemed all the more expressive. His lips were downturned in deep thought and his eyes always seemed to be searching for something.

Grian felt a question nip at her conscience. "How do you feel about it?" She asked.

Alexander rubbed the tattoo on his upper forearm. He seemed to do this a lot when he became uncomfortable with a topic, or when he was especially anxious.

"I don't know." He said uncertainly.

Grian knew he was probably scared like she was. She may not have feared losing to shard, but there were still a great many losses that could be made along the way.

"Strength can mean admitting to weakness you know," Grian told him. "I can tell this isn't easy for you."

"I am weak. But admitting that doesn't make me feel any stronger."

Grian placed a reassuring hand on his arm. "You are strong. I can see it."

Alexander smiled. Grian reminded him of a proverb he'd once heard.

Strength and dignity are her clothing, And she smiles at the future. She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

It was their second and final day in Arc waiting on the coming battle.

Now she and Alexander walked in the street markets, savoring the obvious simplicity of life in Arc's peaceful capital city. Their battalion would be the last to leave Arc's walls.

"I think I could be happy in a place like this," Grian said simply.

"Yeah?"

She nodded, allowing a smile to paint itself on her lips. "The village I grew up in was secluded but I enjoy the quiet bustle of cities like this."

Alexander chuckled softly. "You would hate New York City."

"Where is that?"

"South. South of where I'm from."

"Why would I hate it?"

"It's loud, full of grime and broke people pretending to be rich."

"You're right, I would hate it," Grian replied, the smile still on her lips.

"Can I ask you a question?"

Grian nodded.

"You're not as happy as you want everybody to think, are you?"

"You have no idea how hard it is for me not to burst into tears at any moment," Grian admitted. "Putting a brave face on--well it helps."

"Who does it help? I'm sure it doesn't help you, I mean, I know what it's like. Bagging up your emotions wears down on a person."

"It helps my brother. And in a way, yes it does help me too. Telling myself the bad doesn't exist gives me an odd kind of hope, despite how exhausting it might become."

"I hope one day that happiness will be genuine," Alexander told her. "And..."

"And what?" Grian turned to him.

"I admire you."

"I'm far from perfect, but I appreciate that."

"I don't mean it that way. I mean, I feel affection towards you."

Grian felt momentary shock. Alexander paused and gently took her wrist, causing her to do the same.

"I--" She began, but her throat was void of words.

"I'm sorry it's so stupid." He let go of her wrist. "I'm not even sure what's going on half the time, and yet--"

"Please don't continue." She was stunned and suddenly unhappy. This wasn't expected or wanted at a time like this.

"I wasn't going to. Like I said, this is stupid. I was dumb for even bringing it up. Forget about it."

Grian suggested they return to the castle. She suddenly felt an uneasy tension and it's presence didn't surprise her. She looked at Alexander, who stared at his shoes as he walked. She didn't feel guilty about turning him down, but she wished it hadn't cost him what was left of his pride.

Author's Note .

Well well well. It has been a minute. I hope you all enjoyed crying with, rooting for, and cringing about the characters during this rollercoaster. What did you think of Grian turning down Alexander? Or more importantly, did it surprise you at all that he admitted to having feelings for her? And to all my Asheirsa fangirls and fanboys, how do we feel after all that angst??

Did you have a favourite part of this chapter? If so tell me what it was in the comments! Don't forget to hit the little star if you enjoyed!

ALSO, WE REACHED 8.7K READS! WE ARE LIGITEMATLY AMOST AT 10K AND THIS IS CRAZY. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH.

Kori Kalon