Present

In all my life, I have never had a worse year; even in the years I was in and out of mental hospitals.

2020, for me, began with a miscarriage and the straw that broke my marriage. My ex and I had been having troubles for a while. We didn't marry for love; we married for our son. That was the first of our problems, and it bit us in the bums.

While we did our best to upkeep the happy family persona, it was slowly beginning to crack as mine and my partner's flaws came to light.

I am not a touchy-feely person. I'm not one to show affection through hugs, kisses, touching, cuddling, etc. I show affection through actions. My ex felt that because of this, I was often detached. He sought the comfort of booze and fags (cigarettes), as well as the occasional comfort of another woman.

We had a long chat about his consorts with his blonde receptionist, and he decided words weren't enough.

Soon after, I birthed a stillborn and my ex was imprisoned for murder. He had killed a man in a drunken rage. And to think he was the lawyer!

Throughout this horrible time in my life, I slipped into a dark depression. I'm still fighting its quick advancements, but with the support of my family and a wonderful therapist, I no longer fall into self-destructive tendencies to cope (knock on wood). Instead, I watch sad movies and listen to Guns N Roses.

I hold no hope that 2021 will be any better, but I believe it will be easier to deal with. I have begun to cherish the small moments I have with my son, and quarantines only serve to help make more of them! Prior to quarantine, I went through life like a zombie. Now, I take time to appreciate the beauty in the small things.

Before I close this anecdote, I would like to thank a few people for being so wonderful to me. (I won't be able to tag everyone, so I'm only going to tag around 10 or so).

Thanks to:

- BrendaDaaeDestler
- LexiMoonsong
- winchesteratheart
- Katherine_Destler
- Loki-The-Trickster
- AgnethaCherBrosnan
- -STARLIGHTVIOLIN
- Link-OldMan-Time
- drown_me_in_you
- -Nightrain-
- 12MidnightBlue12
- skelcore
- MissDreamy_Rose
- The-Man-with-No-Name

And many more for making my 2020 easier to bear. Without you all, I couldn't have done it.

And thus, I close this anecdote.

——

402 words.

Ps- the title is from a song on tiktok. I don't actually feel that way lol