OKAY WE ARE GOING TO TALK 

YOU SIR, YOU. 

*Squints*

you. 

This guy, this little walking rock-in-my-sock of a person. Okay, I am a physically fit person. eh. Okay. I'm not obese. I lift. I CrossFit. I understand why you get excited about exercise. However, when you get so excited that you end up making the gym experience less enjoyable or even not effective at all, that means we are going to fiGHT OKAY? Like, I can respect anyone who is just really good at a sport, but when you disreSPECT THE VOLLEYBALL WAFFLE, WE ARE GOING TO HAVE ISSUES, SIR. That waffle is there so everyone can play a nice whole grain organic game of volleyball and nobody needs you to SOIL IT with you ANTI VOLLEY BALL WAFFLE SPIDER MONKEYING, okay? 

This kid, he'll just run around the rest of the team like we're traffic cones and he's Spongebob on a driving test. The only exercise we're getting in PE with him around is phYSICALLY MOVING OUT OF HIS WAY BECAUSE WE FEAR FOR OUR SAFETY. RESPECT THE WAFFLE. Let us have a turn. Maybe My gym grade wouldn't suck so hard when we play this sport if you treated the waffle with a little pRIDE.

ALSO: THe Breed of serious gym class boy who throws dodgeballs at people at 5452152065 mph

Sir, I understand that you love dodgeball. But some days, I'd like to leave gym without a giant red mark anywhere, having to explain that I 'got in your way' because, like volleyball, doDGEBALL ISN'T SUPPOSED TO LEAVE SOMEONE PHYSICAALLY SORE FOR DAYS AFTERWARDS. 

and then you know what they do

they laugh. 

Like: HA. Wow. My phYSIcaL PaiN iS V FuUNnnY nO?

no. It's not. Respect the players. We are trying to dodge/catch a rubber ball. Not a bullet, comet, meteor, or any more incoming debris being sent from Krypton.

You can get excited about any other type of class, mi amigos. Go nuts over shop. get jazzed about ballet. Get your panties in a bunch over economics. I don't care.

but if your enthusiasm

hinders my learning process

or physical well being

you cAN FIGHT ME

How I Will Win:

You see, you're going to be so enthralled by the rush you get when you disrespect the volley waffle or give some poor kid a nosebleed with your flaming hot nickle ball of pent up aggression, I will have time to run behind you and tackle you to the ground by your stupid bandana. Have you ever noticed that every kid who gets excited about gym class is like a tumbleweed with a repressed sports ambition? Like, He's really into it, but he's really scrawny? That, sir. That is your weakness and I shall use it to wreak havoc on your ego like you wreak havoc on the orderly rules of the VOLLEY WAFFLE. By the time I have you wrested to the ground using the element of surprise, I shall wrangle you with your own shoelaces like a rodeo cow. You shall be caught in a cage of dirty laces and the smell of the sweat you created by being a piece of garbage in gym class, much like most of our grades when you decide to go all spidermonkey on a sport. If I'm feeling ambitious, maybe I'll use you as a dodgeball, so you can SEE HOW IT FEELS.