Keith turned his knife back into a sword and sheathed it. He had been training for hours and was in desperate need of a shower, or Lance would refuse to kiss him.

Lance didn't like kissing sweaty people, which he had made clear every time Keith tried to kiss him while sweaty.

Keith stood in one of the communal showers as the water ran over his head. He wondered why Alteans didn't have private showers in their castle. Maybe they didn't care if everyone saw their bodies since they could shape shift? Maybe there were private showers somewhere in the castle and Allura and Coran were just keeping them a secret for some reason. Keith could practically hear Allura talking about how showering together was good for team bonding or some crap.

Keith was honestly just glad that there were stall doors.

Keith was surprised when he walked into his room to see that Lance was already there, reading a book.

Lance snapped the book shut. "Hey, Keith. What's up? I'm just doing some reading."

"What are you reading?" Keith asked, putting his sweaty clothes in his laundry basket.

Lance held up the book for Keith to read the cover.

"Naughty No More; A Guide To Training Your Cat," Keith read out loud. The title of the book just brought Keith more questions. Why would Lance want to train a cat? He didn't even have a cat.

"Why-" Keith began before a realization hit him. Keith was the cat. Lance wanted to train him.

Lance broke out in laughter when he saw the realization on Keith's face. "It's a book on training cats!" Lance laughed, "Because you're Galra? Get it? Hey!"

Lance was thrown out of Keith's room along with the book, which Keith had torn in half.

"Keith," Lance complained through the door, "Come on, it was a joke! Keith? My man? My buddy? The beautiful darling love of my life?"

Lance saw the book laying on the ground, torn down the middle. "Wow. You seriously tore a hardback in half. That's pretty hot."

After another 10 minutes of begging to be let back in, Lance finally accepted that Keith did not enjoy the joke and went back to his own room for the night.

What Lance didn't know was that Keith hadn't responded because he was busy planning revenge.

"Pidge," Keith said. "I need your help."

"Pass." Pidge responded.

"It's with a revenge prank on Lance."

Pidge immediately perked up. "Why didn't you say so? I'm in."

Lance groaned in boredom. The book he had gotten on training cats was boring, especially since he didn't actually have a cat.

He considered for a moment using some of the advice on Keith, but none of it was relevant. Keith was already toilet trained, he didn't scratch up furniture, and he didn't bring Lance dead mice, so none of the book's teachings could help him.

Lance eventually decided to go see if Keith had forgiven him. What he saw inside Keith's room might have been the most horrifying thing he had ever seen.

Keith was sitting at his desk, reading, with a large stack of books next to him.

The Trainable Human, Treat Training for Humans, Clicker Training Your Disobedient Boyfriend, Human Training for Dummies, How To Change Unwanted Behavior in Humans Through Positive Reinforcement, and, last but not least, Crate Training Your Pet Human.

Keith looked up. His eyebrows were raised in faux surprise. "Oh, hey, Lance. Didn't realize you were there. How's it going?"

Lance had never felt as terrified as he did in that moment. He was sure his voice was high and shrill when he asked, "What the Quiznack?"

Keith smiled at himself, feeling smug. This was the perfect revenge.