May 18th 2014

Look, live has kicked my tail okay?

Yes, I know. No update in, like, six months, so… yeah.

Just be happy I came back.

I don’t really know where to start really… So many things have happened…

1) I almost committed suicide

2) My friend got hit by a car

3) It’s my brothers b-day to today

4) I’ve grown a lot, spiritually

5) My real life friends are starting to, like, hate each other

6) my grades are dropping and I’m trying to make them up

Soooo…. yeah. Just accept the fact that I have been busy.

I don’t know where to start…. so I guess I will start at 1).

Yes, that is true…. it was after Christmas and sometime in February. I’d been hurt enough, I had just HAD IT! I didn’t know where else to turn, so I turned to the belt.

The day it happened, I was texting my friend (who had another one of my friends at her house so basicly I was talking to both of them). I was telling them that I had had enough. I wanted to go home. HOME home.

I am so proud of how clever they were… if they had never gone through with what they did, I would be dead….

A few minutes before I had set everything up, the phone rang upstairs. It was my friends calling my dad about what was happening down stairs.

I won’t go into detail, but I felt horrible. My dad took me out for cocoa and that was the end of it. No telling mom. No telling siblings. Just between my dad, my friends and I.

Well, duh, I’m telling it to you guys, but that’s different.

Lets move on to 2)...

So, this one may be hard for me to describe because I wasn’t actually there and I didn’t know exactly what had happened…. So… Is it okay if I just skip this one?

Number 3):

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CARL!!!! YOU’RE JUST SUCH A BIG BOY!!!!

Spoilers, but you get a bike and a new helmet!

(if he reads that before the end of the day… I’m in BIG trouble…)

But that’s beside the point. I have no idea what my parents have planned for today (since it’s Sunday) but I bet it will be a dinner at my grandmothers house… Not that there is anything wrong with that! I’m in the mood for some good mashed potatoes and gravy… Mmm…

WEIRD THING:

Gma: Are the potatoes and gravy good?

Me: *my mouth is overflowing with them* uuuuuhhhh- hhhuuuuhhh!

Amanda (my sister): *her mouth is flowing over too* yuuuuuppp!

Mom: Girls! Swallow your food!

Amanda and I: *chews a couple times then swallows*

Me: *starts choking*

Yeah… really random there….

But hey! That’s what this book is for right?

Sooo…. 4)

The past few weeks, my testimony has grown so much. I have had experiences that have helped me grow so much.

I know most of you wouldn’t even care about this part, so I guess I will skip it…

Number 5)

This one will be another one to talk about…

So, my friends and I are really close. We have this big group that sits at the same lunch table every day and those usually are the people we hang out with. Circle of love right?

Wrong.

We are starting to choose sides between, basicly, two girls. One girl is… well… sorta manipulative. The other girl wants the others to see that, and… well… it’s not working out too well.

We wanted to have a ‘confession talk’ but we decided not to because it was just going to make the situation worse. It didn’t really work out, so now, we are just keeping our feelings bottled up. Which we all know is going to end badly. *winces* I don’t even want to talk about it…

Number 6)

My grades went from A's to B's and my parents aren't happy with me at all. School has been drama after drama filled days and I can't keep up with all of my school work!

Sure, it may seem "easy" to some people, but hey!

Algebra ain't all smiley faces and heart shaped dolphins.

In biology we're gonna be starting the dissections tomorrow so...

YUCK!!!

I'm sorry, but touching a frogs dead remains isn't fun. Or at least... Doesn't sound fun. Good news is that there is NO blood, so HALLELUYA!!! One less thing I have to worry about.

If I don't get a good grade in biology, I will freak. Because that is, like... My best subject next to English. Duh.

Oh! Good news! So on Thursday of this week, the school is doing an appreciation assembly, and guess who is getting recognized?!

ME!!!

I don't know what for, maybe golf (cuz that's the sport I do) but I don't know. I'm wishing it is for my writing or art.... Cuz I want to know I'm good at it...

So, off track here, but I want to talk about it, our school had another previous assembly that acknowlaged people in the arts. Choir, drama, orcastra, band and art.

My friend got TWO awards while who got left out with her picture of the perfect Percy Jackson?

Me.

Of course it is me.

It's always me.

I can't figure out why I'm the one LEAST recognized. It's not like my art is horrible or anything. I know how to draw. I'm proud of my art. Do people care about it though?

No!

*sighs angrly* sorry... I just feel angry, resentful and totally underestimated.

It's not cool.

Anyway, there's my life in a nutshell.

At least so far...

I know I didn't have as many jokes as I usually do, But still.

I updated.

Be happy.