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"what is this?"

kihyun stared at her with intense eyes, disappointed but also angry eyes. she noticed since it was obvious by the way he was looking at her. his jaw slightly clenched.

"u-h... what- what are you doing here?" boki said approaching him. just now she remembered she was all wet, when kihyun glanced down at her, from head to toe. an outrageous look on his face.

"what was that? i saw it... all of it." he said pointing inside the restaurant, clearly talking about jooheon and the moment they shared previously.

that's when boki felt her knees growing weak. did he see it?

"n-no... it's not what you think, we were washing the front-

"i know what i saw boki... what is the meaning of this? do you... like him?" he said approaching her, his eyes now watery. she noticed how he looked worked up but was trying to remain calmed.

in that moment, facing the time and kihyun's face, she didn't know what to say.

she didn't know the meaning of these new discovered feelings she was feeling. the longing of jooheon's company, how she woke up every day excited about spending a whole new day with him, wanting to hear his antics and new jokes, his dreamy dimples and charming big eyes... not to mention his lips...

she blinked twice, shaking her worried and confusing feelings away. she opened her mouth to say something, once she realized that kihyun was just standing in front of her, with disappointed eyes and a heartbreaking expression.

"it's that...isn't it?"

"i - i don't... know."

"i can't believe it... - he said turning around, away from her, as he ran a hand through his hair - i can't believe it... i come all this way to see my girlfriend because i feel like i am the one at a wrong... i came to apologize, to try and work things out... trying to convince you that we surely don't need a break after you suggested it." he shook his head, an ironic smile forming on his lips, a sad smile.

he turned around and their eyes met for a second. she noticed he was about to cry and her chest hurt at the view. "kihyun-

"no... - he shook his head, hands on his lips as if he was really thinking something through - you can't fool me boki... i suspected you had feelings for him... but what i saw tonight just confirms it."

the expectance was about to kill her, she could feel in her guts that something bad would happen in any minute. "no... it's not like that-

"stop making excuses... - he said sighing, approaching her with sad eyes - i can't believe you... we should now definitely take that break."

the words that deep inside she was fearing to hear, came out of his lips just as naturally. he swallowed hard as his eyes grew intense on boki.

she took a hand to her chest when she felt as if he had ripped something out of it. a strange pain, an uncertain feeling of being incomplete and for a second, she reached out for his sleeve but kihyun quickly shook her away.

"i don't see the point on keeping this relationship if you have feelings for jooheon... i simply can't do this. i am sorry."

boki wanted to explain but he wouldn't let her. "yoo kihyun!" she exclaimed, gathering strenght from unknown places. with her voice raising, she made him stop on his tracks as slowly he turned to look at her.

"you're making a mistake... it is not what you think, let me explain."

she noticed his chest worked up. "i don't want to."

a frown appeared on her forehead as she stared at him confused. "are you saying you're breaking up with me? when you don't even know what's going on? are you letting me go just like that?"

he remained silent for a second, as if he was analyzing everything she was saying. "i've seen the way you look at him... and the way you look at me. you think i am a monster."

she swallowed hard at the mention of it. in a way, she could relate. "and you're trying to make people believe you're different from me but i know you boki... i know how you really are, since high school... and let me tell you, you're not fooling me." he turned around and walked with decisive steps towards his car and boki didn't know what to do, what to say to make him stop, to make him regret this whole break-thing. because when she mentioned it, it didn't look so devastating as it felt right now.

kihyun stepped inside the car and she felt his intense eyes still on her. the tears were now forming on her eyes and threatened with spill in any second.

the words were stuck at the back of her throat, she wanted to yell so many things at him, but he didn't hesitate in turning on the engine and driving away.

suddenly, a feeling of loneliness and sadness invaded her. she glanced back at the restaurant but there was still no sign of jooheon and maybe it was the right sign.

without hesitation, she started running, running towards the avenue and away from the restaurant. she didn't know where, but she knew for sure that it wasn't a good idea to encounter jooheon nor her mom in this state, especially when she knew she'd begin to cry in any minute.

minhyuk's break up had been devastating the first days, but she met jooheon the same night it happened, he was the first one to comfort her and later on, the same night she met again with kihyun. so getting over minhyuk hadn't been as difficult as she thought it'd be, because of them.

but now, seeing how kihyun left things and how he asked for the break, it really hurt her, and she knew that even if jooheon would try to comfort her, it wouldn't be possibly.

she spotted the shore in the distance and since it was pretty late, she could notice it was deserted, the perfect place to cry her heart out.

as soon as her feet touched the sandy ground, she let them flow, all the tears she'd been trying to keep for herself, flew like a river as her chest began to hurt.

she never wanted to break up with kihyun, and even if he just mention that this was a break from their relationship, she knew behind those eyes and his body talk, that it was over between them.

but why was she so devastated?

she really liked kihyun, but did she love him?

could she really give in the demands he made for her? stop seeing jooheon or hanging out with him just because it made him feel insecure?

she couldn't.

she couldn't bring herself to have the talk with jooheon about how kihyun asked her to stop hanging around him because he felt insecure about the friendship they shared.

she knew jooheon wouldn't understand such thing, and to be honest, she didn't understand it either.

so... she was all the way about denying her boyfriend such demand, that's why, in that moment she realized something very valuable for her, something she didn't know before tonight.

it wasn't love.

she wasn't in love with kihyun.

how did she know? simple.

she couldn't stay away from jooheon even if he begged her to. she just couldn't.

maybe it was easier this way, the break, then maybe, she could realize what were her true feelings towards both of them.

but also thinking about it made her nerves grow. did she really want to realize what her true feelings for each of them were?

what if the answer was hurtful?

she shook her head as tears kept falling. the sky turned darker each passing second, and only the moon shinning above her provided with a dim light.

her phone beeped and she checked it, realizing it was a text from jooheon.

heoney: yah... where did you go? you dissappear.

heoney: was you kidnapped or sm?

her heart raced at jooheon's texts. did he really cared about her?

quickly she typed back

boki: i'm fine, just went out for fresh air

boki: i'll be home soon, don't worry.

she put her phone back into her pockets and sat on the sidewalk. the ocean was right in front of her, looking dark and mysterious.

she wished the ocean would give her the answers she needed in that moment. because it would be easier than figure it out by herself.

she didn't realize when she started drifting off and suddenly the cries died, she felt at peace for a moment, just the waves crashing and making her feel as if there were no more worries in the world. it was easier to picture now a life without such troubles.

but then her phone beeped again, and again, a text from jooheon.

heoney: listen... i don't know where you at but i kinda searched around the neighborhood and now i am kinda worried

heoney: are you ok? why don't you come home? it's pretty late.

her heart skipped a beat at the sweet texts.

she checked the clock and realized it was past midnight and she knew she should probably be back home.

did it help to come all that way to the ocean shore to think things through? well...

not exactly, she thought it would be helpful, after all that's what people did in dramas. but something pretty drama-ish happened, just on her way back, it started raining.

boki cursed herself mentally as she rushed towards her neighborhood, getting wetter each passing second and in fear of catch a cold. she ran downstreet as she tried to spot the street that led her towards the restaurant.

but soon her eyes caught the sight of a man holding an umbrella, yelling what seemed to be her name, from the top of his lungs.

"jooheon?" she mumbled as she tried to look through her eyeglasses, they were already damped with the drops of rain.

"yah!" she heard as she noticed he moved his arms on the distance. she rushed towards him and noticed him coming running towards her, holding the umbrella desperately.

"yah! are you crazy? don't you see it's raining... how can you go out in the middle of the night without an umbrella? are you trying to catch a cold? are you crazy!?"

"yah... stop it, i clearly didn't think it through." he put the umbrella on top of them both and they remained motionless for a long second. there were still a few blocks to reach the restaurant.

she noticed his chest going up and down faster and he noticed how she had been crying. "shall we?" she quickly asked, reminding him they were still in the middle of the street and needed to walk at least 3 more blocks to reach the restaurant's location.

"ah sure." he quickly said as they both started walking. she noticed how he glanced at her from the corner of his eye. and soon it became almost unbereable. she stopped walking and turned to look at him, who jumped scared when she did such thing.

"yah! why are you stopping so sudden? aish... my heart - he said taking a hand to his chest.

"is there anything you'd like to say?" her hands fisted at each side of her waist. he swallowed hard.

"you were crying. w-why, why! why you were crying? again? all you do is cry!" he complained, a bit nervous. he clearly assumed the reason of her cries and he hated seeing her crying.

"that's none of your business." she said as she returned walking, she took a few steps but it was now jooheon's time to stop her walking.

"listen... i am tired of this shit... did he make you cry? it was him, right?" he seemed serious now, and even slightly angry. she realized because his knuckles turned white around the umbrellas handle.

she frowned. "what?"

"did kihyun make you cry, again?" he emphazised the last word. she tried to not roll her eyes. that was a conversation she didn't want to have right now, especially because of her mixed feelings.

"i don't want to talk about it-

"no, you listen... you can let him hurt you this way... it's been so long." she walked a few steps but he stopped her once more.

"listen to me, please." he almost begged her. his big eyes were begging her to stop and listen for a second, and her heart skipped several beats and suddenly she couldn't say no to those eyes. she crossed her arms on her chest and waited patiently. "okay."

he sighed as if he was tired. "he's hurt so many people in the past. it's just, you don't know all the stories... but, you've been hurt too and you can't let him do it... not anymore, you're being stupid!" she knew he lacked filters but she didn't enjoy him insulting her.

"stop saying i am stupid."

"but you are! you don't realize he's using you? you can't seriously believe he has feelings for you? haven't he done enough? think boki... think better." his insistent voice made her reflect on everything.

yes, he has hurt people but never her, or at least not that she recalled. "you're overreacting."

"am i? am i seriously overreacting? he's mean! don't you see it? and he's turning you into a mean person, just like him!" he seemed a bit worked up now. but it was typical. whenever each of them heard or talked about each other, they'd get all worked up like this.

"jooheon... i don't think we should- you know... i don't see why you care so much about all this-

"no. you're going to listen to me... i care about you, a lot!" he yelled, in the middle of the street. the raindrops fell with an unison rhythm. her chest was raced and her temples began to throb.

did he admit he cared about her?

she swallowed hard at the image of a shocked jooheon who couldn't believe those words had just left his mouth.

blinking twice he cleared his throat. "i mean... i just- he was at a loss of words. it wasn't like he confessed liking her or worse, that he loved her. because in reality, he was confused about his feelings too.

but in that moment, both of them felt as if that was what he had confessed. "w-what?" she mumbled.

he licked his lips as a nervous manner. "listen kumquat. your glasses... are damped - he said quickly removing the glasses and trying to dry them with the hem of his hoodie - i don't know how you're looking forward if you have wet glasses, you might run into a lamppost." he said as he cleaned the glasses with care.

but boki remained there, watching him closely. he was so beautiful, stunning indeed.

her heart kept racing at the view and she couldn't help but admit to herself that this new feeling was something different and that only have happened in jooheon's presence.

what did it mean?

she wasn't sure, but in that moment, the only thing she could see were his lips and the only thought of the memory of the kiss they shared, even if it was just because of a stupid spin-the-bottle-game, made her feel all kinds of stuff inside her stomach.

"there you go." he said returning the glasses back to they were belonged. but then for a split second, both of them felt as if time had stopped. the proximity they shared under the single umbrella was working magic in both of them.

but suddenly, jooheon blinked twice as his now rosie cheeks got a few raindrops, he took a step back and motioned for her to keep walking. "it's getting late."

it had been the third? fourth time? he had stopped a moment. a sweet moment.

and boki couldn't understand why? after her mother had said that she was sure he liked her, everything was so confusing now, especially since she didn't know where she stood with kihyun and now her new discovered feelings for jooheon.

"right." she said as she started walking faster. jooheon noticed and he tried to stop her. "yah... you're going pretty fast."

"it's better this way, i just want to get home." somehow avoiding him was the best solution she had come up with, especially since that indirect rejection she just received.

"but don't run, you're going to get more wet, it's pouring here." he insisted but she couldn't keep it any longer. she stepped out of the umbrella and started running. after all, that was boki's concept of avoiding jooheon in the middle of the rain.

"are you crazy? why are you running? i have an umbrella, come here." he said but she was faster.

"don't follow me!" she yelled at him. but jooheon kept running behind her, asking her to stop, to come under the umbrella, asking if she was crazy or what?

but boki didn't listen to him. she just kept running and felt relieved when she spotted the restaurant in the distance.

"yah you crazy kumquat!" she heard his voice.

"stop! i don't want to talk to you right now, i am going straight to my room." she said once she reached the backyard of the house, she felt jooheon's presence behind her. they were now on the patio and she heard how he threw the umbrella and suddenly she felt a hand grabbing her forearm, stopping her.

she turned around and found his desperate eyes staring at her, his chest rose and fell quickly and it seemed he had plenty things to say, but not even a single word left his mouth.

boki managed to free herself from his grip. "let me go." she exclaimed but he grabbed her again and stopped her once more.

"why are you treating me like this?" the words finally echoed inside the open space. she remained silent for a few seconds, just staring at him, wondering if he really didn't suspect a thing.

"i don't know! i don't know what's going on, i have no idea what these feelings are, i have no idea what i am doing, i don't know what's going to happen to me or him but one thing i am sure... coming into that aquarium almost a year ago was the best thing i've ever done since i came into this world, because i met you that night and my life is so much better with you in it and i don't want it to change, so i don't know what to do." 

she turned to go inside the house, but he stopped her once more and without giving her time to talk, he just brought her towards his body, wrapping her in a tight hug as his lips collided with hers, melting in a sweet, intense and unexpected kiss. 

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