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"i don't know... i'll have to look for something better to have fun with, because it's not fun anymore. he keeps getting jobs so it's getting tiring for me." boki's eyes widened as she bit her tongue. 

are you even listening to yourself?... she wanted to ask him, but she didn't know how kihyun would react. in fact, she felt like she didn't know kihyun at all. this man, her boyfriend, could be sweet a second and then intimidating and full of bad intentions the next one. she didn't know how he'd take it and how he'd react, what he'd say to her. and she hated herself for being so insecure. for not having the courage to stand up against him, to confront him. because she didn't know what she feared of. 

kihyun smiled at her confusion. "it's okay. don't worry... i won't interfere with jooheon's jobs anymore, you asked me that and i'll give that to you." she couldn't believe her own ears. kihyun frowned when he noticed she stayed quiet for a long minute. he licked his lips and then grabbed the glass of soju and drank a sip. 

"so?" he asked then. boki blinked twice as if she had been awakened from a trance. 

"uh... what?" she asked. kihyun just laughed softly. 

"you're a bit distracted, aren't you?"

"its just- i am having a hard time processing everything." with this, kihyun turned slightly serious. he leaned forward and stared into her eyes with intensity. 

"what do you mean?" it was disappointing for him, seeing her so confused. 

"well... y-you can't expect me to respond to that statement you just did."he frowned again, as if he was utterly confused. 

"why not?" she looked into his eyes, debating carefully what words to choose next. 

"everything's wrong kihyun." with this he sat straight in the chair and blinked a few times, clearly offended. 

"wrong how?" she shook her head, glancing at jooheon in the distance, biting her tongue. she didn't want to bring jooheon up, but with what he said, she felt as if she needed to. 

"you keep talking like this... as if you wanted to hurt jooheon all the time - his eyes focused on her with something similar to coldness and boki couldn't understand why he'd look like that if he was just talking to her.

but her grandma used to say, people hate when you tell the truth to their faces. 

maybe he was hating her right now? it was hard to know, because he reached for her hand across the table, softly squeezing it. 

"it's not hurtful... it's just a kids game babe, really, there's nothing to worry about."

"it worries me. you're not kids anymore." she quickly said, her voice serious, she wanted him to know she wasn't kidding around. but the way she quickly seemed to defend jooheon, wasn't pleasing kihyun at all.

"are you standing against me in order to defend him? don't you think you're growing too attached to him?" her eyes widened at his sudden statement, she leaned back, letting go of his hand. 

"what are you talking about?" his jaw clenched as he mantained the stare towards her. 

"i mean... he's working here after all, he shares with you everyday... he sees you here, all the time while me, the actual boyfriend, is miles away, longing to see you and you only make excuses about how far is it and useless stuff like that, when you know i don't mind about any of that." he spoke with confidence, he was sure of what he was saying. and boki couldn't blame him, because deep down, she knew he spoke nothing but the truth. 

"i-... - she started but soon realized she had nothing to say. she couldnt' argue with his logics. 

boki looked into his eyes, feeling her heart hurting in that moment. what was she supposed to say after this? 

"i- i think we should- ... take a break." his eyes widened in shock, he leaned backwards as he stared at her in disbelief.

"what?"she didn't know what to say after that. why did that leave her mouth? she wasn't surely thinking about taking a break from him, she liked him, she was compeltely heels over head for him. but he wasn't who she thought he was.

he had dark ways and she didn't know if she was ready to deal with it. 

the best solution, at least for now, was to take a break. in her mind, that was the best outcome. that way, both of them could think long and enough about the situation.

"why you want to take a break? is it because of - realization hit him, as he turned to glare at jooheon, who was serving the food to some customers. he returned his eyes to boki, now filled with burning flames - because of him?"her eyes widened as she quickly shook her head. 

"of course not! i like you... and only you." his eyes softened for a second as he leaned back forward, towards her. "then what is it?" his voice was almost begging her to reconsider, and boki was weak to kihyun's charms. she quickly felt her knees growing weak when having the boy almost begging at her feet.

"i don't know- it's just- she said standing from the table suddenly. he looked at her confused so as some of the people around. soon she realized she was causing a scene. 

"can we go outside and talk better?" she added quickly, trying to avoid a scene in her mother's restaurant. kihyun nodded with a shocked face and quickly followed her out of the restaurant and towards the street. 

boki walked to his car and motioned him to open it. it was better to talk inside the car, away from the curious ears and eyes. "what is it? you're scaring me boki." his voice echoed inside the car. 

she looked down at her hands, nervous. right then, after his words, she worried. she didn't want him to think she was breaking up with him but based on how scared his face looked, she knew that was exactly what he was thinking. 

she grabbed his hands and looked him in the eye with desperate eyes too. "no. please... don't think bad. i am not breaking up with you, i don't want us to break-

"then what is it?"she bit her lip as she try to come up with a nice way of saying it. she knew he wasn't saint and after he confessed everything the first time, she was unsure of everything. 

she gave him an opportunity to change but apparently either is too soon or he didn't understand what she meant.

"i'll tell you the truth."

"please." he said squeezing her hands. right now he seemed scared of what she was about to say. 

"when... you said those things to me, about jooheon... - he almost rolled his eyes - no listen, i know you don't want to talk about him, but beyond being your step brother, he's a human being and i don't approve your behavior towards him or any other person for the matter... don't you understand?"

"understand what?" he now seemed a bit defiant and definitely alien of what boki was talking about. 

she swallowed hard. "what you're doing is wrong. you can't feel this way towards him or anybody."

"what?" he seemed confused. nobody told him how to feel towards others, and now boki wondered if besides her, someone knew about the things he'd been doing to jooheon. 

boki sighed. "kihyun... you can't keep feeling this way, having fun over other people's miseries. it's not- right." she finally said it, feeling a big weight lifting from her shoulders. on the other hand, kihyun seemed utterly confused and even offended. 

"why are you saying this right now?"

"uh?" boki looked at him, not following the situation.

"just now? i told you about this... weeks ago and you didn't say anything, why are you bringing up this now?" she swallowed hard, thinking about an answer. but she didn't have one. 

it was hard to picture the guy who was handsome and charming, who treated you so right and was loved by your friends now and people around you, being a complete sociopath. 

a sociopath. 

because it's what it seemed to be his case. she remembered, when she read it in school. she bit her tonge and looked away. she was clearly torn. she really liked this guy, when he was sweet and charming with her, but she hated this dark side he seemed to show towards jooheon and the other people he mentioned in the past.

could she be with someone like this? even if he was dreamy and beautiful? 

"are you ever going to change?"

change. the word that made kihyun's eyes widen in surprise, in disappointment. 

change?

why he would change? for her? 

it was difficult for him to process. he liked boki because they were alike, or that's what he thought. 

he remembered since school, she was a bit lonely and looked down on others, never talked to anybody not because she wasn't popular, but because she knew she was superior to the rest, just like him. 

he knew it. 

deep inside, he knew she was just like him, and that's why he liked so much about her. 

"change? why would i change? is there something wrong with me?" his question came out threatening, somehow boki didn't feel comfortable around him now. the car seemed smaller and the tension was to cut with a knife.

"don't get me wrong... i like you, i really do... but there are things..." she didn't know how to proceed. 

it was hard. she didn't want to scare him away, but his attitude was scaring her pretty much. 

"things?" she just nodded, her eyes giving away the nerves she was feeling in that moment. 

boki didn't want kihyun to think she was breaking up with him. she couldn't break up with him. nobody could break up with yoo kihyun.

if people back in high school could see her now dating him and then breaking up with him, then now she would be the best bullied kid ever. but truth be told, she didn't want to break up with him, nor she didn't want to take a break. she just wanted him to reflect on his behavior and to try to change, so that's what she said to him. 

"to reflect on my behavior? am i missing something?" 

"no... i know you were honest with me about the things you did to others and i believe i told you... there were not good, you can't keep doing this otherwise- she stopped when the words were stuck at the end of her throat.

"otherwise?"

"otherwise... you'll break my heart." she managed to say, which, was partially truth. but she didn't want to admit the other reason behind that otherwise, it was that she couldn't be with someone like him. 

he sighed, closing his eyes, as if he was tired. "i could never hurt you." his voice now seemed reasonable and honest. she nodded, somehow sure of his words. she felt like he could never hurt her, and then the question appeared in her head. 

why though? why her? why he could never hurt her? 

but he seemed a bit upset to answer such question right now. "so a break, uh?" he suddenly said. her eyes widened as she looked at him confused. 

"what?"

"you mentioned about taking some time... a break?" he said serious, slightly hurt. he couldn't believe she had suggested such thing. but now, she seemed unsure. 

"is that what you want? to take a break from me?"

"it's not like that kihyun... i don't want to take a break from you." 

"then why did you say it?" 

why? well... she didn't know. 

she thought of jooheon and felt like saying it, and in fact, she said it. 

a break? 

maybe... it could help him think about his previous actions, which were wrong. 

maybe... it could help her think better about her feelings... 

maybe.but why? was she... confused?

but just as if he was a mind reader, he cleared his throat and looked away. 

"are you confused?" she turned to look at him at the speed of light, quickly shaking her head. 

"no, of course not." 

"then what is it? why don't you talk to me? i am your boyfriend... you can tell me everything. trust me." it was demanding, the tone he used. 

suddenly she didn't feel comfortable enough to trust him her secrets or the feelings she was feeling right there. she just nodded, agreeing with him. 

"you're right. i am sorry... i shouldn't have mentioned the break if i wasn't sure."

"aren't you?"

"no." she said shaking her head, her eyes focused on his. 

"i don't want to take a break."

"but you said it."

"i know what i said but i didn't mean it- listen- she said holding his hands - i think we're moving too quickly that's all and i am sure about this... maybe we should take things slower?" he seemed to be paying extra attention to what she was saying, his eyes slightly narrowed. 

"we have almost 3 free weeks from university... maybe we can take these days to think about ourselves and our relationship and when we return to classes we can take it from where we left it, but we'll come as better and more mature people... we'll understand each other better. don't you think?" somehow, he was looking at her with distrust. 

"understand each other better? i understand you... you don't understand me?" her chest rose and fell slowly. 

"sometimes i don't." he blinked twice, slightly offended as he looked away, down to his hands. 

boki noticed how he turned on the engine and the a/c filled the small cabin, making her cold in seconds. 

he, on the other hand, didn't seem affected nor bothered at all.

"i see... okay, i understand that too." he suddenly said now turning to her. he flashed a smile, as if there was nothing wrong happening.

"okay. let's do that." he nodded softly as his dark locks moved, his pucked rosie lips opened slighty to talk and boki focused on his lips instead. they were like an invitation for her and then her heart raced, as she remembered, why she liked him so much. his smell, the smoothness on his skin, the tone of his voice, his beautiful lips. 

"... you know? i just want you to feel comfortable around me and if that means you want to take some distance then i am willing to do that, for you..." right then, she started hearing his words again. he didn't seem upset nor angry at her now. 

"thank you." she said, staring into his lips. 

"no problem." she felt his hands on hers, as he squeezed them softly. and then he leaned towards her softly, she felt his hand closing softly close to her hips and then she closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing him in for a sweet kiss. 

she would have never inititated that. a kiss? she wasn't like that. 

it wasn't her style. but having him so close and knowing they wouldn't see each other probably in the next three weeks just provided her with the courage she needed to take the first step.

but then the sound of the door opening made her stop, she leaned away, breaking the kiss as she realized he had leaned towards her just to open the door. 

they stared at each other with awkward eyes as boki wanted to die in that exact moment. "uh- he didn't know what to say and boki took the oportunity, since the door was already opened, to step outside. 

he quickly followed her. "boki." he called her name, trying to stop her but she didn't, in fact, she kept walking back towards the restaurant dying of embarrassment, but he grabbed her forearm and stopped her for a second. 

reluctantly, she turned around, her cheeks in full display of a deep crinsom red as she covered her whole face in shame with her hands. 

kihyun chuckled at the view and grabbed her hands to pull them down. "hey. look at me." with all the strenght she possessed she finally looked into his eyes and found him smiling. 

"it's okay. either way i was dying to do that." a sweet smile appeared on his lips. but his statement didn't make her feel more relaxed, she hugged herself instead when the night cold breeze hit her. 

"listen... i will respect what you asked me tonight... but i also have something to ask you." she looked up at him and noticed he was looking in direction of her mom's restaurant. 

"i don't want you to get too close to jooheon okay? it makes me feel uncomfortable. can you respect that?" somehow it seemed reasonable, if she gave it a second thought. how would she feel if she had a step sister, who had a bad relationship with her and then he starts getting really close to kihyun to the point she became jealous of their relationship? what if they've kissed playing spinning the bottle or had boki walked into some pretty serious moments between them? she would also feel insecure, because the relationship was just starting and they couldn't be sure if it was love yet.

she would also, ask this for him. to keep his distance from her step sister. it was reasonable.

"i am not asking you to not be friends with him... - he said again, glancing at the restaurant - in fact, he could use some friends... but i don't want you to be too close to him. can you understand me?" somehow tha last words hit her hard, it was as if he was using the same tone she used before. but she knew, he had his reasons, so she just nodded.

"okay. i can do that too." he smiled once more and reached out for her hair, he grabbed a lock and caressed it. 

"fine. can we text each other now and then?" she smiled and nodded. 

"of course."

"okay. i'll like that... thanks for having me here." he said looking at the restaurant from the corner of his eyes. 

"oh but you didn't get to try our food and-

"it's okay. i feel i shouldn't be here tonight... - his statement really hurt inside her chest. he was already doing what she asked for, to keep distance - and it's getting late and like you said, it's almost 2 hours back."

"ki-

"really, i don't want to make you feel uncomfortable... i'll take my leave, i know when i have to back down." her eyes focused on his as she felt bad and sorry for him. 

"i am sorry."

"don't. it's fine... i have a lot of thinking to do... and a lot of reflections to make, as you requested..." he said turning around and walking to his car, but he stopped for a second and turned to look at her, with a sweet smile.

"tell your mom i loved meeting her, that her restaurant is really nice and i liked it very much... - he said nodding at boki's eyes - anyway, good night." with that he turned on his heel and walked to his car. before boki could know, he was already turning on the engine and driving away. 

away from her.

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