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her mind began to work as she wondered if those things he was talking about, where the same things she was thinking a minute ago. "w-what things?" she asked.

he looked down, as if he was ashamed of his next words. "w-well... i haven't been completely honest with you."

boki waited patiently as kihyun seemed to be debating whether he should tell her or not. "okay... i am listening." she tried to sound relaxed and even friendly. boki didn't want him to take it back now.

"well – he started, scratching the back of his head – these things are just... things that have happened before and i didn't tell you because i prefer to keep them for myself but i don't want to lie to you anymore."

boki nodded. "i... i helped your friends with something."

boki sat straight as she acknowledged this was one of the things he did behind her back and never told her anything about it.

"really?"

"yes. i... i helped hawon into this model academy she once mentioned. i just told my step mother that a friend needed to get in and she called some of her friends and it happened." he said shrugging.

"i hope you're not mad." he added.

boki just stared at him. she wasn't mad over the fact that he helped her friend, but it upsetted her that he never told her anything about it until now.

"and... there's something more. i ... i also helped wonho to get this videogame before it went public. this was a bit harder but i called a few friends of my dad. that's all." he finally said, looking into her eyes as if he was trying to find disapproval or something worse.

he didn't want boki to be upset about it but he thought that maybe if she was, she was totally right to be. "why didn't you tell me these things until now?"

he looked down, clearly ashamed. "well... i thought that if you knew, you wouldn't let me do these things for them. that's why."

boki frowned. "why wouldn't i?"

he swallowed hard. "i think you've said something like... they should do this by themselves, without getting help from anybody."

boki blinked twice in realization as she acknowledged that this was probably true. "alright. i appreciate your honesty even if it's kind of late." she said crossing her arms on her chest.

kihyun nodded, like a scolded puppy as she thought that was just the top of the iceberg. in boki's mind, he had done many things that had probably kept from her. or allegedly done things that had kept from her.

"is there anything else you'd like to tell me about?" her words were surely a surprise for kihyun. his eyes widened slowly as he blinked a few times.

"u-uh... well – he scratched the back of his head. a mannerism that now boki understood he did whenever he was nervous about something – maybe?" he said frowning with confused eyes.

"i am all ears."

"that day... when we had our first date, in that café, remember?" boki just nodded.

"i kind of knew jooheon worked there." the words hit boki like a truck. she sat straight and leaned backwards as if she was taking a second to take in all the information.

"what?"

kihyun sighed, closing his eyes. "i am sorry. it was something stupid. i just wanted to piss him off a little. it's no big deal. i swear." he said with worried eyes.

she knew it.

she knew that kihyun knew back then, that jooheon worked there. she suspected it all the time but in her heart, she never wanted to admit it.

it didn't make sense at first. it was hard to think that kihyun would be in such position. but now it made sense. "why?" she asked.

he looked away. "he tries to embarrass me all the time... i guess it was kind of immature but i wanted a pay back."

boki rolled her eyes. "well yes, it is very very immature and inacceptable."

"i know. i am sorry." he said now, his eyes big and almost glassy. she noticed he seemed honest and soon she felt his warmth on her.

his veiny hand pressing softly on top of hers. "i was stupid. it won't happen again."

boki remained silent for a second but then sighed. "it's not me who you should be apologizing, you know?" she asked.

he sighed. "i know." he said nodding and letting go of her hand. "but he won't listen to me. trust me, i've tried."

it wasn't hard for boki to think of why jooheon would refuse to listen to kihyun since apparently they really had a fucked up relationship.

she sighed. "is there anything else?" she asked serious now, crossing her arms on her chest.

"yes." he said, his expression got even more worried. boki was worried too about what thing he'd be confessing next.

she had a lot of stuff going through her mind. lots of things she could think ok.

"pistaccio is not my favorite ice cream." he barked in a single sentence, eyes widening slowly.

boki frowned as she tilted her head. she definitely wasn't expecting that. "really?" she asked only to receive a nod from him. "then what is it?"

"vanilla." he simply answered.

"then why did you say pistaccio?" boki seemed confused and she was. "well i didn't say it... technically you said it and i just agreed."

she frowned, thinking about how absurd that sounded. "then why you did it?"

kihyun looked down and sighed. he looked like a kid who had just been scolded. "i guess... i only wanted to like you, that's it." he shrugged. looking at her with big eyes.

boki did the same, with a big and heavy deep sigh she sat straight and took in all the situation. he had lied to her and he just admitted it.

she had to look at the bright sight. it was better this way, for him to confess everything.

she turned to look at him. he was waiting patiently for her to say something.

but on the other hand, boki suspected of more lies from him, lies he hadn't mention yet. "is there anything else?" she asked.

in her mind, memories flashed of that time he said jooheon's hand had been damaged during a fist fight in a bar and later on jooheon said it had been because of his job at the zoo. also that time when he admitted telling one his friend's parents in high school about his drinking and smoking vice only "for his good" and all those times he had said jooheon's parents had given him an ultimatum about his life, when he said he pair for art lessons for him and when he bluntly confessed to her friends about being in a relationship with her without even consulting with her first.

everything.

it was too many things she suspected from him but somehow she couldn't find herself facing him.

calling him out on those things. it seemed like something impossible for her to do.

"no. there's nothing else." he said with a smile. she felt his hand caressing hers as he slowly took it to his lips to press a soft kiss on it.

"i promise." he said with reassuring eyes.

the fight she heard behind the dumpster. she didn't know what have happened but apparently both of them, jooheon and kihyun had lied about it.

there were simply too many things on her mind right now.

"can you... forgive me, please?" he asked now, taking all of her attention. they were alone in her living room and the temperature surprisingly dropped.

"only if you promise you won't lie to me ever again." she said with a serious tone, sweet yet serious.

kihyun sat straight as he glanced at her for a second but finally nodded, leaning down towards her and pressing a soft kiss against her lips.

boki closed her eyes when she felt the sweet and gentle caress of his tender lips against hers. it was definitely a comforting feeling that almost made her forger immediately what the worry and trouble was all that about.

he broke the kiss slowly and leaned backwards to get a better view from her. he smiled, his eyes turning into two handsome rainbows as she felt his fingers caressing her chin.

"i am glad you opened up with me." she said once they looked at each other.

it seemed like a dark thought crossed her mind. he broke the eye contact and looked down. "don't." he mumbled.

boki frowned. "w-what?"

"don't be. i am not... i am not completely who you think i am." he said with a doubtful tone.

jooheon's words flashed on her mind as she remembered him telling something pretty similar. "what?" she asked now, a big frown on her face.

kihyun leaned back and sat against the couch, hands between his thighs as his shoulders looked defeated. "it's just... sometimes i don't feel myself... when i am around certain people. i don't know how to explain it." he said looking at her with desperate eyes.

"do you understand?" he asked, almost a beg.

she frowned because she didn't find the right meaning behind his shady words. "i... i don't know-

"i mean... sometimes people expect certain things from you right? and you have the pressure to act up to their standars." he added, looking to a vague point on the floor.

boki didn't find sense in what he was saying but he seemed serious and focused about it.

"what do you mean?" she asked, placing a hand on his shoulder to get his attention.

but just as if he was waking up from a trance, he blinked several times and smiled widely at her. "hungry? i am a big hungry. can i cook something for you?" he said standing from the couch and walking to her kitchen.

boki stood there confused over what had just happened and quickly followed him inside the kitchen. she found him still in front of the fridge, eyes fixed in some point as he held a knife.

"kihyun?" she called his name with alert eyes as she felt her heart racing at the creepy view.

but then he leaned down and grabbed a plate with cheese. "this will do." he said smiling as he prepared himself to cook.

she swallowed hard as she approached him but still keeping her distance. he seemed to be skilled with the knife. he cut the cheese in small cubes. "what are you doing?"

"baked vegetables with cheese, you're going to love it." he said with a smile.

he was handsome and charming and it definitely killed her to think of him as something different than that, especially if it was something negative.

she wanted so desperately to be wrong. to be imagining things. boki just wanted to think that everything was in her mind.

it was imperative to give him the benefit of the doubt. she had to believe in him, especially when he looked at her that way, with such loving and tender eyes. "taste it." he said giving her a piece of tomato.

she smiled as she flashed a pair of thumbs up. "the seasoning is good." she said as a compliment.

it was hard to think of kihyun as something different from what she believed he was. jooheon constantly said about him being someone different and she never believed him or at least, she tried not to.

but now it was hard since kihyun himself told her the same thing jooheon did in the past.

and now everything seemed so confusing for her.

but one thing she was sure, she'd have to walk this fiery path with care if she didn't want to get burned. 

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