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How do you unlove the one you love the most? How do you let the feelings go? How do you cope up with the emotions?

Ever since the tragic night, I'm not sure what I need in my life now. Everything that was supposed to be mine, is gone. People I loved, the one's I cared about, are not with me. That night had to be one of the greatest nights of my life, who knew it would turn out to be the worst nightmare.

Every day is a new struggle. Ever since that incident, every new morning brings another darkening moment. There is no sunlight, no ray of hope. Hope. Hope is gone.

It always scared me to think, what if one day Hope left me? But I never thought - it would happen so early, in such way. I never wanted Hope to leave me, alone in this cruel world. Now that Hope is gone, everything is gone.

With Hope's departure, the person I loved the most is gone too. She is here, alive at least, but she is not in my arms. We made plans to be together to understand each other, to love each other, to be there for one another. But all of that is no more my reality. I told her, I'd always be by her side, but now when she needs me the most, I'm running away from her.

"You cannot outrun fate." Daniel, one of the members of Real Talks, spoke first. "It will always be a step ahead. Fate is a basic bitch. It won't ever let you win."

My focus was on the floor, covered with a beautiful Persian carpet. The carpet was a maze, designed with various outlines and coloured with beautiful colours, red, white, blue, grey. The carpet had a story behind it, maybe that is why, Samantha, the owner of Real Talks has it placed in the centre of the room. She, for sure is an admirer of ancient arts.

Everybody else is talking and sharing their stories and thoughts. Everybody here is for support. I'm here because I'm being asked to. This is stupid, the whole idea of this group therapy is stupid. How the fuck will these people understand what I'm going through. Everybody has their sufferings, individual sorrows to deal with. My sadness, my story has nothing to do with theirs. How the heck is a sixty-year-old widow Samantha, or a forty-year-old single father Daniel going to help me? Even a fourteen-year-old, Ryan or Rey or whatever his name is, he has lost his mother, I didn't lose my mother. Our pains are different, our sufferings are different. None of them has lost what I did. None of them has gone through the tragic pain of what I suffered.

Fate has never let me win. I've always earned misery by fate. Ever since I was a kid, I only wished for one thing, for my fate to be on my side. But maybe I'm not the lucky one.

"Do you not have anything to say?" Samantha asked me. She knows I hardly speak anything. I don't share my story. Fifteen pair of eyes were on me, waiting for me to say something, at least let out a sigh.

I shut my eyes, I don't want to be here. This therapy session was organized to heal people from their difficulties. But it is doing the exact opposite to me, I'm having a headache. I came here because I was asked to, I never wanted to be a part of this.

"This pain is temporary." Some other girl with black hair stated. "It won't be like this forever. We won't always wake up and miss him or her."

But I do.
I miss her.
I miss everything about her.

"One day, our pain will pass. One day, it won't hurt at all."

"Bullshit." I mumbled. All eyes were on me, yet again. The girl, she gave me a confused look. She has beautiful eyes, I must say. Why is she here? What is her suffering, asked far as I know, she shouldn't be here, crying for someone who caused her pain.

"How are you so sure about it?" I asked her. Maybe I've spoken up for the first time in days, the only time was when I introduced myself on the first day.

"Because in the end, everything is temporary. These bodies, these emotions. Don't you get it?" She raised her voice. "My Prashant was temporary too. He had to leave, he left me alone." Tears streamed down her eyes. The guy next to her patted her back to console her. "It is okay, Nitya."

For all I know, she is an Indian, she was married to some guy named Prashant who was found cheating on her and later died in a plane crash. Nitya was already going to get a divorce, but then the news came that the flight Prashant was boarded on, crashed on the Iranian land. She shared her story the last time I came here.

"Your Prashant cheated on you. He was anyway just a passing by in your life." I hissed. She has to understand, she need not go through the suffering.

"He was my husband." She protested.

"Why are you defending him?" I asked her. "You got nothing out of the relationship, only sorrow and pain. He left you for some other girl and now you sit here and cry your heart out for him. He never deserved you, Nitya. Understand your value. He hurt you. He is gone now. So be over with it."

Everybody else watched me lash out at her. Somebody had to clear the reality to her. She has been a mess, for her husband. She must be happy that he is gone, from her life.

"Such an ass." She snapped at me and walked out of the room, slamming the door behind her. The room went dead silent in a matter of seconds.

"That was harsh." Daniel was the first one to speak. "It was the truth." I stated.

"Truth is always harsh." Some guy spoke from my side.

"We are done here for today. Enough of pains and sufferings caused." Samantha declared and dismissed the meeting. Everybody else got up from their chairs and walked out of the room. I just sat there, not moving.

I know I was rude, but she had to understand - people who cheat should already be dead in your life. She should be obliged to god that he gave her a second chance, but she chose to hold onto the past.

"For once you finally speak up and break a little heart." I heard someone say. I looked up and saw Samantha taking a seat next to mine.

"Her heart is already broken." I mumbled.

"We are here to mend broken hearts, child." Her voice was so soft, so motherly, that I met my eyes with hers. Her green eyes held experience, they talked strangely. The wrinkles on her forehead made her look so harmless.

"Hearts are not supposed to mend, once broken they only hurt more."

"Listen Child, I lost Walter seven years ago. He took my heart away with him. It was not his fault that I suffer to date. The pain is because of my love for him. Not only did I lose my husband, but I also lost my baby girl too. In one day, I lost the two most precious people of my life. People can't cope up with one's loss, I had to deal with two losses." She stated, a tear rolling down her face.

"How did you deal with their loss?" I asked her.

"Who said I did?" She asked me. What does she mean? "You don't have to deal with the losses of loved one's. No one ever talks about dealing with emotions. You either hide them or walk with them. If you're strong, you'll hide them, bury them beneath all the smile and moving on in life, but if you're weak like me..." She took a pause and let our a chuckle. "There is nothing wrong in being weak, let me remind you that."

I nodded.

"Till date, I can feel Walter and Diana with me. They are here, I can always have them next to me."

She placed a hand on my shoulder. "I know what you're going through. You don't have to hide your emotions, child. It is okay to be weak, it is okay to cry."

As soon as she said that, the tear that I've been holding for months, came rolling down like a lost drop of an ocean. I promised myself, I'd never cry. Men are not supposed to cry, the society teaches you that. I don't give a fuck to what society believes. That night, when I needed those arms around me, to hold me, love me and assure me that everything was going to be all right, those arms were away from me. She was away from me. That was the last time I cried, for that tragic accident.

But today, it is different. The heaviness in my heart was suffocating me. Maybe that is why I broke my rule. I promised myself, I won't ever be around her, but I broke the promise. I tried to kiss her, I wasn't supposed to do that. I tried to harm a guy in front of her. She hated it when I fought with anyone. She always used to say that it was only her right to break a nose. I wasn't even allowed to kill a fly.

"Oh dear, what happened?" She asked me, taking me in her arms, as a caring and worried mother would. I sobbed in her arms, she reminded me of a mother that I already have but somehow missed.

"I can't do this." I mumbled in the hug. She patted my back.

"This must be hard." She said. I nodded, still crying as more tears fell. I don't care if I make a fool out of myself.

"She is back and I'm a mess. I don't know what to do. I'm not supposed to be around her, with her. But..."

"But you love her." She completed the sentence for her. Yes, I do.

"No, I don't." I stated, pulling back from the hug. I wiped the tear away and focused back on the carpet. I don't love her.

"What are you talking about?" She asked, surprised by my sudden outburst. "I don't love her. She is back, but I don't have to bring her back into my life. I can't do that. Whatever happened..."

"Was not her fault. Why do you blame her?"

"I don't know who am I supposed to blame. I don't fucking know what to do. All I know is that she doesn't know anything about me and it is going to be that way. She doesn't remember me and I don't want her to be back in my life."

With that said, I stood up and giving one last look to Samantha, I walked out of the room. I know I'm being cruel or heartless or whatever, but this is my truth. I can't love her anymore.

*****

"Have you lost your mind?" I heard dad yell at mom in his study room. "Why the hell would you do that?"

"Don't you dare raise your voice at me, Jay. I'm not going to sit back and let the world believe that girl, she is a liar. Our family needs justice." I could sense the sadness in mom's voice.

"What about our son?" Dad asked her. They were trying not to yell at each other. "How will he feel about all of this?"

"Our son has to choose. He can't stand with the wrong girl. He has to fight for his family. That girl is not his family, we are."

What are they even talking about? I know who are they talking about, but what is the matter?

I knocked at the door and the other side went silent. Dad asked me to join in. I walked in and mom folded her arms, as she saw me.

"Son, you're home early." Dad said, calling me towards him and asked I walked, he placed his hand on my shoulder, patting my back a bit.

"The session was fine, I don't think I belong there." I declared. I have to be true to them. I never wanted them to know about it, but my therapist contacted dad when I first visited him. Everybody in the town knows my dad. I wanted this to be a secret, but they found out. So they insisted me to join this group, as they were worried about my health.

"If you belong anywhere right now, it is there." Mom stated. She has always been a fierce lady, so when she speaks, it feels like it is the final statement made. "You need this, chico. We can't see you like this." She held my hand and the boldness was gone. She was back to being a caring mother, her eyes said it all.

"I'm fine, mom." I took her hand in mine and kissed the knuckles. I turned to dad to support me.

"Let him be on his own, Sweetheart. He is a grown man. All those therapy sessions won't do any help." Dad stood by my side. "He has been through a lot and we need to support him right now."

Mom gave him an eye. "All I want is to see my son happy again."

There was again a knock at the door. Antony walked in with a few cards in his hand. "The cards are here, Sir. The grey one's for the delegates and the blue one's for close friends."

Dad nodded and took the grey card from his hand while mom got the blue one.

"What are these?" I asked. Dad handed me the card and I looked at the cover. Founders' Party.

"It will be 105th year of Mullinville." Mom stated. I nodded. Like every year, one of the Founders' family was supposed to host the party on the day of Founding of this town. This year, as dad is supposed to be associated with the public, he took this opportunity to host the party.

"This year also marks 140th birth anniversary of your great grandfather's father, one of the Founder's of the town. So this Formal party is special for us." Dad said.

"But after everything that has happened, don't you think we should avoid celebrating the day in our house?" I asked. How can they throw a grand party after the accident?

"Son, we are grieving as much as you are. We've lost our precious one. But we have to learn to move on with time. Even if that accident hadn't happened, this year's party was supposed to be hosted by our family. We can't change that."

If it is all decided, who am I to oppose.

"The cards are beautiful." Mom stated as she touched the font on the cover. She gave back the cards to Antony and asked him to deliver them in a day as the party is supposed to be this weekend, after five days. Everybody already knows about the party and are informally invited.

I was about to leave the room when my eyes landed on a closed file on the desk. "What is this?" I asked them.

"Work file." Mom answered, taking it in her hand.

"What work do we have with the Pearson's?"

"Related to their Hotel business," Dad said. "You don't have to worry about this one."

"I take care of all the files. When did this happen?"

"Today. Keith called and asked for assistance. I'm just helping as a friend. This is not a formal file. So, I didn't tell you about this."

I nodded and walked out of the room. Dad and Keith Pearson have been friends since their childhood. Even after dad left the town, they stayed in touch. When he returned, Uncle Keith has been supporting ever since.

Leaving the house, I walked to my car and stepped in it. Turning on the ignition, I drove to Bailey's to meet Jordan. We need to discuss something.

I turned on the radio and The Fray's Be Still was playing. I remember she first heard this song on some supernatural show and cried because one character was going to die. She could never handle character deaths or be human deaths. She would cry her heart out for the characters in the show.

It is so unfair on her side that she doesn't remember anything. How is anyone going to tell her the truth? It will break her completely. It has been a year, but now it will be a lot harder to tell the truth because she doesn't know about it and she is living in a world, where nobody knows how to deal with her. Right now, she is a fragile heart, nobody can risk it. Her family, her friends, they're treating her right, but her past is unknown to her. It can't be buried forever because one day, she'll remember everything and it will be a lot harder than this.

Ever since she heard the song, it became one of her favourites. She had a long list of songs, she called them beautiful melodies. She would always sing those songs when we were together.

If you forget the way to go
And lose where you came from
If no one is standing beside you
Be still and know I am

I used to sing these lines to her, particularly when she needed me the most. I promised I'll always be with her, no matter what the situation will be. She trusted me, she knew she loved me. But here I am now, not sure if I love her the same way I did before. I'm breaking my promise, I'm not with her when she needs me the most. The irony is that she doesn't even know that she needs me, because she doesn't know me.

When she first called me Kyle, I was shocked. How did she remember that name? Ever since she is back, I never talked to her, though I saved her once, gave her the book in the library, but never talked.

She has my book, I left it in the Church that night. She must've got the name from the last page of the book. The way she called me, brought back memories of when she first found the truth behind the name.

"I don't care what your real name is, I'll call you Pookie." She laughed as we drove in my car. I rolled my eyes. Since I've told her the truth about my name, she has been teasing me to cheer me up. She would kiss my neck, pinch my cheek, do whatever it takes to lighten my mood. But she doesn't know that being with her is already a cure.

I intertwined our hands and kissed her knuckles, as she placed them back on her lap.

"Nobody calls a guy Pookie." I stated. "But I do. You're special and so, you must feel special."

"Your idea of making me feel special is by calling me with that name in front of everybody?"

"Of course. Everybody should know how cute and adorable my man is." She giggled. "How did I get into this mess?" I sighed.

"You signed up for it." She laughed. I let out a chuckle.

"You're a beautiful mess." I turned my gaze to her and smiled. She is such a beauty, she never lets me praise her, but I know, I'm the lucky one to have her in my life.

There was a knock on the window. I didn't realize I reached here and was thinking about her. These memories have kept me occupied ever since. She might not remember this, but I'm re-living them now.

"Are you going to get out of the car or not?" Jordan asked. I turned off the ignition and stood out of the car.

"Is anybody else here?" I asked. We walked in the Diner, it was as busy as any other day. He shook his head.

"Did you find anything?" I asked him as we took the only left table and waved our hello to the old man, Dave.

"The footages of that night are already in the custody of officials. So I couldn't get my hands on them. Other than that, I tried to talk to her doctor, but he said the patient's case is confidential."

I banged on the table. "How am I going to help her if I get no fucking clue?" I don't care if people watch me, I'm frustrated right now.

"We can talk to the officials." He suggested.

"My involvement in the case will complicate things from both sides." I sighed.

"Do you think they'll take actions against her?" He asked as Dave served us our regular coffee.

"Dad said he won't. He assured me he won't do that. But the cops made a visit to his office a few months back and said that they'll wait for her to wake up and then will think about anything."

"I hope they don't. She has already been through a lot. Everybody is giving her a hard time."

That evening when we almost kissed, she told me how she was dealing with darkness and how it suffocated her. I wanted to let her know that I was there with her, everything happened in the heat of the moment that I lost control over myself. I didn't want to do that, but I couldn't stop. She was crying and I couldn't see that. She needed me, more than anything...I needed her. But her brother was right, I'm not supposed to be around her. I'll only complicate things between us and I don't want that. My plan was to stay away from her, walk out of her life, but ever since she was back, she would walk to me. That day, when for the first time our eyes met in the school garden, I knew I was fucked. I knew she would think about me and I didn't want that. I wanted to remain in her past, like a lost memory.

"Are you going to be at school tomorrow?" He asked. "What is tomorrow?" I asked.

"That meeting for government body election."

I groaned. "Why did I agree with that?"

"Because you're the former student president and your dad wants you to be there." He stated.

"I never agreed to be a part of his campaign. He had his candidate for those works."

I was focused on business work. When dad first declared his motive of the elections, he needed a supporting hand. He knew I wasn't going to be associated with politics.

"Now you're his only candidate, his only supporting hand." Jordan explained the harsh reality.

"I need to find out what happened that night. How did they both end up at the same place? What were they doing there?" I asked the questions to myself.

Jordan placed a hand on my shoulder. "Relax. We'll find it out. The investigation department will find a clue, maybe evidence or anything."

I nodded. I hope they find something, that goes against the world and in favour of Alyssa. I really hope she is not involved in the case.

***

"We've got our four best candidates for the Student President." Mr. Singh stated and handed me the forms of the four candidates.

Mike Carter.

Carl Ritchie.

Danielle Morris.

"Danielle Morris, why is her form selected?" I asked. I know Danielle, she cannot be a candidate for the Student President.

"She filled the form and had her nominees. She has a great agenda as well." Mr. Singh explained.

"No, she only got selected because of Mr. Morris. You know it too Sir, she can never be a good leader." I stated. I had nothing against her, but everybody in this school knows about her.

"You've to keep your personal problems out of this." He stated. "I'm not saying this because Danielle is my ex-girlfriend. I respect her, I seriously do. She can be the head cheerleader, but the post of president is different."

"She is the final candidate with the other three. We can't change it." He declared. I rolled my eyes. The other three won't even have to worry about competition. Danielle might play her cards and fuck up this election.

I placed her form on the side and took the fourth one, which was of...

Zoey Kidman.

What the actual fuck.

I stood up from my chair and excusing myself from the meeting, I walked out of the room. Why the hell would she run for the presidential election? This was never her idea. Zoey can't do this. I'm sure she has some plans behind this. While rushing towards the hallway, I bumped into someone.

"Oh hi, Gilipollas."

I sighed.

"You know right, I understand Spanish." I rolled my eyes at her.

"You understand a second language, but could never understand a girl's feelings." She gave me a sly smile.

"Anything else is easier to understand, but one can never understand you, Danielle." I've always tried to be good to her, but she is a walking example of dumbness.

"Your dick very well understood my vagina."

Her friend let out a laugh. Kira has potential in her, but she is losing it all by staying with Danielle. Danielle can never love anyone, she only loves drama and herself.

"Your lady parts never needed a dick, Danielle. Your vagina needs another vagina."

"Shut the fuck up, Scum. You don't worry about me, you worry about yourself. Right now, you need a new girl - one who has a brain to remember everything." She let out a laugh. "The one who remembers you." She whispered the last part in my ear. I pushed her away. "Ow poor boy. I'm happy for her though. At least she doesn't have to remember an asshole, a fucked up piece of shit."

"Shut up, Danielle." I hissed.

"You left me for her. You had me, the best girl." She rolled her eyes.

"I left you because of you." I tried to stay calm. I don't want to argue with her, it will only waste my time.

"You chose her over me, you fell for a lower grade." She let out a laugh.

"Don't you dare speak a word against her, Danielle." I yelled at her. I didn't fucking care if others saw me like this. She initiated this and now she'll get what she deserves, a defeat.

"Why would you even stand up for her. She has ruined your life, your family, your everything." She raised her voice. She was trying to gather a crowd so that people could enjoy the fight. More than anyone, she could enjoy the scene. "Zoey was right. You forgot everything and have moved on. How can you betray your own family?"

I grabbed her arms and didn't care if I hurt her. She hurts me more with her words. "I didn't betray anyone." I hissed. She still has that grin on her face. Such a bitch.

"You failed yourself, Asshole." She pushed me away and my got out from my grip. "It's been more than five months and you have nothing. You're practically a zero, a failure."

Before I could say or do something that I might've regretted later on, I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Don't listen to the bitch. She is just trying to hurt you with her words."

Skye.
Alyssa's friend.

She moved her hand away from my shoulder and gave a glare to Danielle. Everybody knows how much Skye hates Danielle. It was never a secret kept, they've had the most aggressive fights and arguments.

I nodded and walked out of the scene. I don't give a fuck to what Danielle has to say, she will do anything to hurt a person. This is why I don't want her to run for the President's Election. She will only use her power and manipulate her position.

I need to find Zoey right now. Zoey will never believe me, but I haven't moved on, I remember everything. She believes that I betrayed her, she is only thinking about her loss. But she doesn't understand my situation right now. She has to believe me, she should be with me, but she is fighting against me.

"Hey man, what are you doing here?" Nik asked once he saw me walk towards them. They all were seated around the table in the cafeteria. I placed the form on the table and banged my fist on it.

"What kind of fucked up game are you playing?" I asked her. She stood up from the chair and walked to me.

"What is the matter?"

"Why the hell are you running for student's presidential elections?"

"Why can't I?" She asked. "I'm a student at this school and I have all the rights to run for the campaign."

"Zoey..." I tried not to yell at her, I tried to keep my calm. "This is not you. You never wanted this. Why are you doing this?"

"I never wanted my life to be ruined, but it happened, right?" She asked me. "We don't always get what we wish for." Her stare was intense. Zoey has always been the demanding one. "Winning this election was Eli's dream. I'm just trying to fulfil her dreams."

The softness in her tone bothers me. Zoey has lost as much as I did. She is right, the departure of someone close has ruined her completely. I should not blame her, but Zoey also has a plan behind this.

"You can't use her for your revenge, Zoey. I know you want something else from these elections. I'm not going to let you do that."

"I'll do whatever the fuck I want to. You're no one to stop me. The damage is already done and I only want the culprit to pay." She is not the Zoey I knew. In these last months, she is completely changed.

"Zoey...."

"Don't you dare try to defend your best friend, Jordan. You either stand with me or with him." She yelled at her boyfriend. "I'm done with this shit. You're my boyfriend, you're supposed to be with me, but you choose to be on his side."

"I have no sides, Zo." Jordan stated.

"Stop it, Zoey. You've spoken enough for the day. In all the rage and anger, you're only hurting your close one's." Eleanor tried to explain her.

"I can't be a goody like you, Eleanor. I cannot fake it. I'm going to run for the campaign and no one can stop me." She declared and walked out of the cafeteria. I took a seat on the chair and held my head, annoyed.

"She is clearly up to something." Liam stated.

"She is after Alyssa. She wants her to suffer." I groaned.

"And you?" He asked me. "Don't you want the same?"

"How could you even say that, Liam?" Elle hissed at him.

"Whatever Zoey said, she had the right too. It is the anger in her, the grief of the tragedy. How else do you expect her to behave?" He asked us.

"She can behave in any manner. She can break things, she can even blame me for everything. But she cannot go after Alyssa to hurt her. She has no fucking right to do so. I won't let her do that."

"How are you so sure about her intentions?" Liam asked.

"I know her more than anyone else. She is only using Eli's dreams as a way to get to Alyssa. She is trying to hurt her."

"What should we do now?" Nik asked. "Zoey won't stop at any cost."

"If she is so persistent to destroy Alyssa, I'm determined to stop her. Alyssa has been through a lot and I won't let anyone else hurt her anymore. Even if it's Zoey or Danielle or anyone else, I'll save Alyssa."

"She ruined your life." Liam hissed. Liam stood with Zoey. I'm sure others might have the same opinion as them, but I don't care. I may have the same feelings as Zoey, but I cannot let anyone hurt Alyssa, including myself.

"She doesn't remember that," Eleanor stated. Elle has always had a soft friendship with Alyssa. "Everybody blames her for that night, but nobody really sees what she is going through. She doesn't even remember about the accident, how do you expect her to remember anything else?"

"What if she is lying about everything?"

"Why would she lie about that?" Nik hissed at Liam. "Even if she lied, her life before the accident was a nightmare as well. She can't fake the lose of her memory and not react on whatever happened before the accident."

"That incident completely broke her. If she remembered, she would've said something, done something, but we know she did nothing. She is not lying about anything." Jordan stated. Everybody has mixed feelings about her health. What is the truth, only she knows. She is the only person who can solve this mystery. Alyssa is wounded, but along with her, the lives of many is damaged as well.

◼◼◼

Hello everyone.
I want to take this moment to pray for Naya Rivera. The authorities have stated that they found a body in the lake, but let's just pray and hope, it is not of her.

Today marks as seven years of Cory's death. This day should be remembered as Cory and Naya's day. I still hope the body is not of hers. And if it is, god forbid - we will always remember and love her. ❤ Rest sweet Naya, love and peace to her family and her beautiful son. 🥀

Everybody, take care of yourself and your loved ones. Be there for each other and spread positivity. During this time, we need care and support, we need to be there for one another. We have to be strong - emotionally and mentally.

If you ever feel like you need someone to talk to, you can always send me a message. I've made a beautiful friend on Wattpad and we've been growing ever since 2016. She is an amazing person with the most innocent heart. She is always there for me even being miles away. She is from Palestine while I'm here in India. We've never met, but yet - the friendship that we have, I'm so grateful to God for sending her in my life. I love you meema_96 ❤❤❤

Stay safe and healthy, everybody.