This isn't happening is it? No this is real, this really happened..he is dead. I was sitting on my bed with my hands covering my eyes as I sobbed, my room was open and from here I could see his room halfway open. Mother knocked on my door and held her hand up for me to take, i wiped my tears and stood up from my bed and grabbed her hand when i made it to mother's side. "It's time Kate." She whispered and we both began to follow the others.

My brothers and sisters were quiet as they held their umbrellas, us girls were crying and the boys I could tell were doing their best to not to. Mother has a concerned look along with Pogo but Father..well he wasn't upset like all of us

I was shivering from both the cold and sobbing. I was holding myself but can't, not when his casket is here in front of us. Snow was gently falling down and the day feeling gloomier than ever, never in a million years did we imagined this would happen to one of us. Ben and Five and no longer here.

I could feel the warm blood running down my arm and staining my uniform jacket as I held my umbrella and stared down at Ben's casket before me.

"You're father is ready to give a eulogy, children." Pogo told us and we glanced up at Dad when he began.

"The world is full of injustice, good people die along with the bad. This cosmic equation will never change unless evil itself is wiped from existence. Thankfully, there are powerful forces pushing back against the wicked and iniquitous,individuals who have strength to pull together against insurmountable odds to face with unblinking courage, and not to hesitate to sacrifice themselves for another. Unfortunately, none of you are such people."

I glared up at father for his cold words, does he not care that Ben is now dead? Why must he always act like this. We all hold our breaths and I tighten my grip on the handle to my umbrella.

He coldly looks at us all in dissaprovement, "Despite years of training and weeks in preparation, you allowed Number Six to die on this mission."

"It wasn't our fault!" Allison fought back and I decided to speak up too.

"It was a risky mission and you still wanted us, who are still kids to go and risk ourselves!" I continued to shiver and felt my heart stop when the man glared at me and quickly spoke back.

"Excuses? I will not hear them. The Umbrella Academy has failed one of their own,  the consequences on which are dire. If Number Eight heard my warning on going with you all then Number Six would have most likely survived. It is also because of her rebelling behavior that he is gone. Hold on to these feelings, children."

Father is blaming Ben's death on me? I looked down at the ground and bit my lip tightly and continued to sob quietly. "Let it fester in your heart..so there is never a next time. Training will be canceled for today out of respect for your brother. We resume tomorrow at six am."

With that Father left alongside Mom and Pogo, leaving just us siblings. "It wasn't anybody's fault." Vanya speaks first when we were silent. 

"How would you know, Vanya? You weren't even on the mission." Diego told her back. I glanced at Vanya who was by my side and she quickly left, hurt by his words. Vanya has always be left out.

"Nice going, asshole." Luther tells to Number Two.

"What? We were all thinking it." Diego tries to defend himself

"Oh so you're thinking Diego? That's a first." Allison and him fight.

"You're full of shit, Diego." I bitterly tell him deciding to speak up for myself. Diego stares at me surprised but glares back.

"Just like Dad said, if you had gone and used your power then Ben would still be alive." Quickly with my bloody palm I punched Diego in the face and he stumbled back. 

"I warned everyone about this! Ha! It looks like you aren't as strong as you say you are." I bitterly laughed at his reaction.

He held onto his cheek, "Screw you!" 

Luther angrily followed him saying a couple of words and Allison following them both. I looked to my right and saw Klaus who was quiet, staring down. "You're bleeding." I heard him whisper to me.

I quickly lowered my sleeve and he said nothing else knowing well what I did to myself. Out of all of the siblings Klaus and Ben got along the most, now he's alone and now I am too..I regret not telling Ben how I felt for him, I was a coward for not doing so earlier, even if he didn't return the feelings at least I would've been happy that he'd known.

The drops of my blood slowly fell down the snow covering bits of it. Klaus didn't meet my eyes so he stepped away and went to be by himself. I do regret on not going to the mission Ben would still be alive if it was for me.

I better head back to my room...I slowly started walking ahead and when I reached the door to step inside, I felt something..or should I say someone. I glanced back at Klaus and saw him with his back to me, talking to someone even though he was alone. I frowned and ran back inside. I don't want him to see me right now.

☔☔☔☔☔☔☔

A/N:I consider myself as a goth so I love writing my oc's as such since i make them more relatable to me, also we need more oc's that are goth and in my opinion I think Ben with a goth significant other would look cute, like they are complete opposites but can agree with each other. I had this idea since i finished season 1 way back☺

☔☔☔☔SOUNDTRACK☔☔☔☔

ANOTHER LIFE BY MOTIONLESS IN WHITE

"But I hate that it seems you were never enough.We were broken and bleeding but never gave up. And I hate that I made you the enemy. And I hate that your heart was the casualty.Now, I hate that I need you." (Either version of the song can be heard. I just love the two versions)

https://youtu.be/pGOcCg6PkFI

THE GHOST OF YOU BY MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE

"I never. Said I'd lie and wait forever. If I died. We'd be together"

https://youtu.be/D66_NiTJSTc

WHEN YOU'RE GONE BY AVRIL LAVIGNE

"When you're gone.The pieces of my heart are missing you"

https://youtu.be/9ep1pjnt2nI

IMPOSSIBLE BY NOTHING BUT THIEVES

"I could drown myself in someone like you.I could dive so deep I never come out.I thought it was impossible.But you make it possible"

https://youtu.be/oUk5YBze5zc

BEFORE YOU GO BY LEWIS CAPALDI

"Before you go.Was there something I could've said.To make your heart beat better?"

https://youtu.be/QQVa4xCf8JY

STAY BY MAYDAY PARADE

"Oh can you tell, I haven't slept very well.Since the last time that we spoke, I said
"Please understand I've been drinking again, And all I do is hope"

https://youtu.be/fNS83hJeeAI

SLEEP BY MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE

"How could you cry for me? 'Cause I don't feel bad about it.So shut your eyes
Kiss me, goodbye and sleep"

https://youtu.be/RSAoJJzVXYY

THIS IS GOSPEL BY PANIC! AT THE DISCO

"If you love me. Let me go"

https://youtu.be/xDZpO97DXlQ

EXTRAORDINARY GIRL BY GREEN DAY

"She's all alone again.Wiping the tears from her eyes.Someday he feels like dying.She gets so sick of crying"

https://youtu.be/hctq2W1z7Kc

PICTURE PERFECT BY ESCAPE THE FATE

"I'd give up my eyes to see you one last time.And I'd give all my fingertips to touch you"

https://youtu.be/2RNAKZTZHUo

LIFE ETERNAL BY GHOST

"Can you hear me say your name forever? Can you see me longing for you forever, forever?"

https://youtu.be/RL8Ct8dKmAk