An empty street corner. Then... Ron peers round a building. A few yards off, two witches Mafalda Hopkirk and Charlotte Hawthorn approaches. Ron begins to walk, preceding both of the witches down the street, then kneels, fiddling with his shoelace. Zap!

The witches stiffen and fall... into the arms of Harry. Ron hurries back, picks up supposed Mafalda. He helps Harry hustle them out of view. They prop them up between two wizards, one tall, one short, both unconscious. Hermione is pouring Polyjuice Potion into four cups.

"Right. So let's do it. Who gets who? " Ron suggested

"Well, unless one of you fancies wearing a skirt..." you sassed

Hermione leans down, plucks a hair from the witch. Ron frowns as he surveys the three remaining wizards.

"Remember what we said. Keep your eyes down. Don't speak to anyone unless absolutely necessary. Act as normal as possible. Just do what you see everyone else doing.We do that -- and with a bit of luck -- we get ourselves inside. And then..." Hermione explained

"It gets really tricky." Harry said

"Correct." Hermione nodded.

Harry and Y/n look once more at the stunned quartet before them.

"This is completely mental." You muttered

"Completely, utterly, without question." You piped in.

"The world's mental. Come on, drink up. We've got a Horcrux to find." Ron said.

The quartet -- in their new identifies -- emerge. Ron as Reg Cattermole takes out an ID card.

"In case you're interested, I'm Reg Cattermole, Magical Maintenance Department." Ron said

"Mafalda Hopkirk, assistant in the Improper Use of Magic Office." Hermione said

"Charlotte Hawthorn ,head of the Support," you said, "looks like I'm engaged." You said eyeing the engagement ring on your finger.

Harry said ,patting his pockets "I'm nobody."

"You're somebody. Be careful." You warn him

Just then a skinny wizard strides by.

"Morning, Reg! Good luck today." He wished

"Oh... yeah. Thanks." Ron replies

Ron glances to Harry and Hermione, jerks his head toward the skinny wizard and they follow.

As the skinny wizard drops down the stairs into a public

toilet, the quartet appear.

"What do you reckon he meant by 'Good luck.'?" Ron asks

In the gents' toilet, Harry and Ron enter, glance around, then, seeing as everyone else is doing so, slip into cubicles.

"Harry enters. flushing sounds all around him. He looks to his left, sees a pair of booted feet climb into the next toilet, then looks to his right, sees Ron -- as Reg

Cattermole -- peering in.

"We flush ourselves in?" Ron asked Harry

"Apparently so." Harry answers

"That's bloody disgusting." As Reg/Ron's face disappears, Harry steps up onto his

toilet, dips his shoe in gingerly, then withdraws it. Completely dry. Stepping in fully, he reaches up, pulls the chain and is instantly sucked down

While in the Ladies' toilet Hermione and you enter, you look around and see witches going in the toliets and never returning back. You nudge Hermione, you give her 'what are we supposed to do?". 'Flush yourselves in' she mouthes back. You look at her disgusted but nod anyways

Seconds later you come shooting out of a FIREPLACE into the grand atrium of the Ministry of Magic. You see Hermione's already arrived and standing before a MASSIVE STATUE of BLACK STONE depicting a witch and wizard sitting upon hundreds of naked bodies twisted in pain. Harry joins her, so do you.

"Are those...?" you ask Hermione

Nodding; with disgust she answers,"Muggles. In their rightful place." Harry glances at the base of the statue, where the words MAGIC IS MIGHT are engraved. Just then, a BALDING WIZARD bumps into Harry.

"Move it, will you -- oh, Runcorn! Forgive me..." he says.

The Balding Wizard hurries away, clearly frightened, as does another wizard, merely at the sight of Harry.

"You appear to be quite popular." You whisper to Harry.

Ron approaches, running a gauntlet of pitying looks from co-workers who echo the Skinny Wizard's "Good Luck."

"I gotta tell you, I'm starting to freak out a bit." Ron said scared

Just then, a gang of young, rough-looking wizards, led by their leader, Scabior, enter the Atrium, pushing along a small group of captives.

"The Ministry must be hiring young these days." Harry said.

"They're not Ministry. They're Snatchers. They hunt Muggle-borns and blood-traitors for a price." You correct him. Harry nodded.

"How long did you say this batch of Polyjuice Potion would last,Hermione?" Harry asked

"I didn't." Hermione said

"Cattlemole!" you hear Yaxley's booming voice. They all jump. Yaxley strides directly up to Ron.

"It's still raining in my office.Two days now." Yaxley said

"Really? Have you tried an umbrella?" Ron asks unsure. Yaxley eyes Ron curiously, then leans forward menacingly.

"You do realize I'm on my way downstairs, don't you, Cattermole?" he seethes

"Downstairs...?" Ron asked

"To interrogate your wife! If my wife's blood status were in doubt and the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement needed a job doing, I think I'd make it a

priority. You've got one hour." He said. Just then, the LIFT behind them clangs open. Hermione tugs Ron inside. Yaxley turns and storms off just as you hear a cheery voice

"Darlin'! where have you been." He asked looking at you concerned. You confusingly look at him, just then you remembered the ring, "Love! I'm sorry. I was just walking with Mafalda here" you said playing along, looking at Hermione

Just then the lift's door close the doors close. The lift opens your 'husband' kisses you on the lips, "I'll see you at night" he winks at you. You smile at him sweetly, as soon as he was out of sight you wiped your lips. Harry was staring at the guy disgustingly.

All of a sudden Ron exclaims."Oh my god. What am I going to do? My wife's all alone downstairs?"

"Ron. You don't have a wife." You said to him while Hermione was lookin at him annoyed.

"Oh. Right." Ron said

"Look, we'll go with you –" Harry said.

"No, that's mad. You three find Umbridge. I'll be fine. But how do I stop it raining?" he asks.

"Try Finite Incantatem. Of course if something's gone wrong with an Atmospheric Charm –" Hermione suggested to Ron.

"Level Two. Department of Magical Law Enforcement, including

Wizengamot Administration Services, Auror Headquarters and

Improper Use of Magic Department."

"This is you." You whispered to Ron

The lift opens and Ron begins to back out.

"Finite Incantatem, okay. And if that doesn't work...?" he asks Hermione.

But before she can respond the golden grilles of the lift close and she, you and Harry are swept away.

"I don't like him being on his own down there." Hermione whispered.

"Ron's been coming here since he was two years old. It's us you should be worrying about." Harry said.

"You really have horrible teeth, you know that." You told Harry chuckling.

"Level One. Minister of Magic and Support Staff..."

"I say if we don't locate Umbridge within the hour, we go find Ron and come back another day. Deal?" you whisper quicky to both of them. They nodded.

The grilles clang open again and Harry,Y/n and Hermione freeze.

Standing next to a long-haired wizard, her neck enwrapped in a fuzzy pink scarf, is Dolores Umbridge. She looks up from the clipboard in her hand and sees Hermioneand you.

"Ah, Charlotte! Mafalda! Travers sent you, did he? Good. We'll go straight down." She eyed Harry, "Albert, aren't you getting out?"

Harry nods mutely, steps out. As the lift descends, he watches Hermione's anxious face sink out of sight.

Harry passes one gleaming door after another, glancing down purple-carpeted corridors that stretch into nothingness. A muttering wizard passes by, murmuring to a quill floating in front of him. Otherwise, it is eerily quiet.

"Weasley!" Harry stops dead, peers around a corner and sees a slight, familiar-looking red-headed wizard: Percy Weasley.

--

You and Hermione alongside Umbridge walk into the courtrooms. You see a witch sitting in the middle of the room on a chair. Hermione nudges you, you turn around and see two seats free with your names in front of it.

"Mary Elizabeth Cattermole?" Umbridge said in her sick voice.

"Yes." The woman answers trembling.

"Mother to Maisie, Ellie and Alfred? Wife to Reginald?" Mary looks up to Ron, her eyes glistening with fear. He smiles reassuringly. She looks away, replies:

"Yes."

Harry eyes Umbridge. She has draped the pink scarf over her chair, revealing a gold chain that extends from her neck down into the ruffled folds of her blouse. A slight humming, faint and oddly lyrical, rings in Harry's ears as he studies the chain. As if drawn forward by some irresistible force, he begins to drift toward the balustrade.

"A wand was taken from you upon your arrival at the Ministry today, Mrs. Cattermole. Is this that wand?

Umbridge displays a Cherrywood Wand. Mary Cattermole nods.

"Would you please tell the court from which witch or wizard you took this wand."

"But I didn't take it. I got it in Diagon Alley, at Ollivander's, when I was eleven. It chose me." She explained.

Umbridge leans forward, teeth glittering as the cat slinks by and briefly illuminates her face -- and the chain at her neck trembles like a snake, something heavy swinging forward and dangling over the void.

The Locket.

Ron stares at it dumbstruck. Y/n catches her breath. Harry,fully removed from the shadow now, stands clearly in view, the corners of his eyes narrowing once

again, the hum growing louder in his ears. Slowly, he reaches into his pocket...

"No, no, I don't think so, Mrs.Cattermole. Wands only choose witches. And you are not a witch."

"But I am! Tell them, Reg! Tell them what I am!"

Ron starts to speak, but Umbridge's gaze has shifted, to Harry, to the wand rising in his hand.. and pointed at her.

"What the devil are you doing, Albert?" she asked Harry.

As Harry speaks, his own face ripples through Runcorn's, the Polyjuice Potion wearing off.

"You're lying. And one mustn't tell lies, Dolores... Stupefy!" he says

A flash of red light hits Umbridge and she slumps, forehead striking the balustrade. Instantly the silver cat vanishes. Yaxley draws his wand, but Ron is too quick and takes him out with a single blast. Y/n strips the locket from Umbridge's neck and leaps down.

Instantly, pulling Hermione with her. her breath comes in plumes as the Dementors

drift forward.

"EXPETO PATRONUM!" Harry cast.

"A Silver Stag soars from the tip of Harry's wand, circling the room as it drives the Dementors back."

"Relashio!" Hermione cast

The chains encircling Mary Cattermole's wrists drop like dead snakes. As she stands, she eyes Harry in amazement as he transforms back into himself.

"You? It's you! Reg, it's Harry Potter!" Mary exclaims

" 'Tis, isn't it? This'll be one to tell the kids." Ron suggests

As the Quartet, along with Mary Cattermole, pelts into the atrium and races toward the fireplaces, Harry bumps into the muttering wizard, who spins, takes a look at Harry,

blinks.

"Harry Potter...?", he says lounder " Harry Potter!"

Another wizard hears, looks, then repeats the same, Harry's name spreading like wildfire in the gloomy hush. Hermione glances about nervously and as she does, begins

to transform back into herself.

"Harry... they've seen you. We've got to get out of here." You shout

Harry nods, quickens his pace. Ron glances about, then turns, facing Mary as he continues to walk backwards.

"Mary. Go home. Get the kids. I'll... I'll meet you there. We have to get out the country,

understand?" Ron exclaims

Mary shakes her head, confused.

"Mary! Do as I say!"

Mary stops, a bit teary-eyed, nods dutifully. Ron frowns.

"I'm sorry. It's just –" Mary Cattermole takes him by the collar, pulls him into a deep kiss. Harry and Hermione glance back and watch as Ron transforms -- during the kiss -- back into himself. Slowly you start changing into yourself as well

"MARY!" All eyes turn. The real Reg Cattermole stands -- robeless -- outside one of the fireplaces. She looks up at Ron, now transformed, and jumps back.

"Long story. Nice meeting you." Ron says

He gives her a peck, races off. He's halfway to the fireplaces when he spies... Percy. He slows, then stops altogether, and they stare, wordless, at one another.

Finally, Percy begins to open his mouth --

"Piss off." You shout at Percy. Yaxley staggers into the atrium.

"Seal the exits! Now!"

Harry,Y/n, Ron and Hermione glance at each other, break for the fireplaces. As Yaxley fires on them, one fireplace after another seals itself. As they reach the last open grate, they pitch themselves -- as one -- onto the polished marble floor -- spells sailing over their heads -- and go sliding inside. As they fall into darkness, Harry glances back and watches Yaxley pitch himself into the void just before a solid block of granite drops --

like a guillotine -- sealing the fireplace and plunging Yaxley -- and the quartet-- into total darkness.

A whirlwind tosses the trio as flashes of light reveal each briefly, including yaxley, who reaches out for hermione's robe. The door of Grimmauld place rushes forward, the eyes of the serpent knocker flashing, then there is a burst of purple light, a tortured scream

and...

The world spins as Y/n lies on his back on a bed of leaves and twigs. Above, sunlight streams through a canopy of trees. Wincing, Harry rises on his elbows, sees the locket lying in the dirt. He scrabbles up, scoops it into his fingers and grins. He sees you flat on your back he races to you and offers his hand to you. You get up with his help. He hugs you as soon as you get up.