Well then, this time I have to take over 100 children out for pizza. My dear ones, please let me know if you have changed your username or if I accidentally left you off my list.

My murderchildren
1  @memepotatoes
2  SisterOfADreamDemon
3  Toasth
4  blackmetalhoodie
5  RhymesWithSwaggness
6 -TJ19-
7 MalloryKeen19
8 CrazyForFlam
9 Sumarbrander_Sings
10 tellittothegarrote
11 @Half_blood_twin
12 GalaxyWolfQueen13
13 FullMetalNinja75
14 elf_child-magic
15 hearthstones_scarf
16 @We_are_venom13
17 Tanja_Solace
18 @idjunita_04
19 @itsyagirlcandzangelo
20 @sirsantanjr
21 @dead_ronnie_walking
22 Tim-the-Trickster
23 itsyagodofgay
24 Neonhydra346
25 Deadpool10737
26 @notingthedifference
27 @gambit-
28 isaismyaesthetic
29 _-KipchaMakoata-_ (just a friend)
30 @l—-tiger-lily—-l
31 KaylaApollon
32  Nonbinaryanarchist
33 CoolFreaks
34 ILoveLotsOfPeople
35 insert_nerd_name
36 @Thor_Odinson-
37 damRavenclaw16
38 @FritoTheFox (although inactive, always in my heart)
39 Stryfe_
40 doyouwannahideabody (yes, yes I do)
41 BluFud
42 QueenofSpiritWolves (you should talk to GalaxyWolfQueen13 )
43 Electric_Jason
44 DemigodFangirl2812
45 secretly-gay_boi
46 McLeaveMeAlone
47 GodsofOlympus18
48 @I_hate_sausages (how dare you)
48 @itsyehidiot (anyone know where he went?)
49 @thejcstories
50 @SOLANGELO4EVER (amen)
51 _RueFullbuster_
52 MynameisLin
53 AnselxEvan4life (which fandom is this?)
54 dobby2005
56 lisathepegasus
57 I_Blame_The_Nargles (very good creatures to blame for problems)
58 afabulousweirdo (yes, yes you are)
59 @hateya_makoata (no longer active, but always in my heart)
60 @visionofnightfalls
61 MANGOcheese101
62 @tomboy_wolfy_girl
63 Burning_Lip2000
64 @jade-rivers
65 @_-sushiandtillio-_
66 cherrypoohbear (i have been reading your work for far longer than I've adopted you for, you're something of a hero to me)
67 _-TheHottestGod-_ (thot)
68 @undetermined_potato
69 @unicorn_griffin
70 @pidge_ut_3
71 Izabellabakugo123
72 Googlewoman669
73 HaiMahFwend
74 @neko_chenny777
75 _HBXG_
76 -_getting-better-_
77 chautelle
78 @rabid-cerberus
79 @deathmetallilly
80 the_fandoms_fangirl
81 Foxliferules
82 misfit_demigod
83 @mindvibe
84 @ibyslee
85 @_-princessofskulls-_
86 @-olliecrawford-
87 @livykittykatrpa20
88 @izuk_midoriya
89 @scorpioishannah
90 @pidge_ut_3
91 @--lionleo
92 @stayasdfsafe
93 @nightress91518
94 @_gray_dagneel_
95 @half-bloodwolf
96 _-LordHades-_
97 @barbossa_loves_apples
98 @last_apprentice
99 @little_panda99
100 @wolfdragon152
101 @little_miss_spirit46
102 @nEptuun_clxud-
103 @livykittykatrpa
104 @voadoru
105 Zoe-is-da-best
106 @wolfdragon152
107 @laurenschram
108 @agentemilyposeidon
109 @-_grady_official_
110 -_getting-better-_
111 @eyepatchwillstabyou
Why are some of these not working? That is most annoying. Anyway. On with the story.

Me *herds up all my children with GalaxyWolfQueen13 'S terrifying pack*
Magnus: GET THESE FUCKING MONGRELS AWAY FROM ME
Alex *throws a cat at him*
Me *speaking out loud for once*: EVERYONE SIT DOWN
About 5 people *sit down*
Alex: YOU HEARD DAD, SIT YOUR ASSES DOWN ON THOSE FUCKING CHAIRS OR MY SNARE WILL END YOU
Me: oh, thank you, Alex
Me: THANK YOU.
Me *switches back to sign language*
Me: I would like to thank each and every one of you magnificent children for everything you have done for me while my account has been open. Its growth has been unprecedented, and the support and love that I have received has bolstered me into bullying open a Blitz account, and then an incredibly sappy wedding. Now that Alex and Magnus are getting married, and Sam and Amir, and then the other pairs, won't be far behind I thought that this would be a good time to announce that IM THE GODFATHER OF EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR CHILDREN, okay?
*laughter*
Nonbinaryanarchist *sarcastically dabs their eyes*
Me: I would also like you to know that as we expand and shrink as our small fandom, my hand is extended to every single one of you. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on, or a void in which to vent, I am here. If you want solutions, I'll try my best to help. If you want love, mine is limitless.
Me: also. The last time that you all were gathered here, I agreed to buy this pizza shop. It is now open, and you all are my first customers!
Alex: PAY UP
_-KipchaMakoata-_ : SIT DOWN, HEARTH
Me: ah, Kipcha. We've had our differences
Kipcha: ...you tried to force me into adoption
Me: but I'm glad you saw it my way
Kipcha: ????
Me: UNLEASH THE FOOD
Several people *topple the table and launch for the garlic bread*
Kipcha and Hateya *start using those nifty arrows that come back on a string to spear garlic bread and eat it hanging from the ceiling*
Artemis *wipes a tear*
Apollo *defends himself from being called a thot by Nico and Sam*
elf_child-magic : Oh yeah, and I run an entire fucking kingdom.
_-LordHades-_ : ha, yeah, funny story. Ever heard of the underworld?
Various pirates of the Caribbean folk *comparing The Black Pearl to The Big Banana*
Magnus: ha, I have the Biggest Banana of them all!
Alex: WANNA BET
GalaxyWolfQueen13 and QueenofSpiritWolves and @halfbloodwolf *talking about wolves? I'm unsure about those ones, they have big dogs*
Thor *is drunk*
Deadpool *is taking advantage of him*
Jack Sparrow *has abandoned the shipping war and is trying to take advantage of Thor's limitless mead*
Loki *jaws theme*
Various people, led by Nonbinaryanarchist *stealing dogs and planning on how best to overthrow America's burgeoning fascist regime*
Some more people *WAIT HOW THE FUCK DID THEY GET A SHARK IN HERE*
A couple of the older ones, and the vaguely sane ones *are eating pizza like normal ones and watching Studio Ghibli*
I don't even know any more *swings across the ceiling with tomato sauce dripping down their chin, shirtless, Tarzan style*: IT'S THE LORD OF THE FLIES, BABY
Sam and Amir *cackling with their heads together. I don't even know*
Me *reclines in the middle of the room, happy and surrounded with family*
Blitz *from outside*: BABY I WANNA COME IN
Mal: You're not one of his kids
Blitz: IT'S SNOWING
Blitz: THE SHARK'S EATING MY FOOT
Blitz: THEY'RE MY KIDS TO
Blitz: *is carried off by a mix of Nico (Nonbinaryanarchist 's new dogs and Quint's wolves)* *distant screaming*
Me: ah. Quiet family time.