It's been 20 years since i've been lying to everyone, my parents don't know, my cousins don't know..I always considered myself a strange girl and other's did as well throughout my school years. Some of my friends and classmates would hang around with their partners either,hugging,kissing them or flirting with each other,I was and am the only girl in high school that has never dated anyone.

I don't see what's wrong with it and I don't care if i'm an adult already and hasn't found that special someone. My life was a disaster knowing how much i've been lying to myself about my sexuality and who I really am but it all changed when I met Troye.

Yes, that Troye Sivan who is a youtuber/singer and before I met him he changed my life. My family are very religious and don't accept gay people and when they found out I was bisexual they freaked out since they saw a girl kiss me.They kicked me out and thankfully Troye offered me a place to stay,his house which is enormous.

Troye was out with his friends at some party probably when I stared down at the many cuts on my wrists and thighs ..I couldn't help but cry. Even if Troye has been very special to me I couldn't help but feel empty inside,I was ready to do it..

I entered the tub filled with water and was ready to do what I thought was right,slowly i dived in ready to drown myself when I was pulled back up and started to cough,My vision began to clear and I saw Troye staring at me lovingly and...sad. He didn't say a single word even if i was completely wet he went in and held me tight and heard him cry.

"Don't leave me..I don't know what I would do without you."

I began to cry once I heard him say those words..he really cares about me a lot. Troye pulled away from me and placed his hand on my cheek wiping away the tears,before I knew it he leaned in and started to kiss me,he pulled away and stared at me.

"Let's get you dried up love.." He smiled and helped me out of the tub.

We sat down on his bed and I couldn't make eye contact with him,I changed my clothes and my hair was still wet,he run his hands down my hair and kissed me again. "Don't ever try to do anything like that..ever." I stared into his blue eyes and nodded my head.

"I promise i won't."

I sat down closer to him and wrapped my arms around him,i've never felt this safe and happy in my life.