CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE:
THE ARMAGE-WOOF

Jason should really consider talking to Five about his portals and their functions. There should be a setting or something, at least a dark mode! It was too bright! Help!

Seconds after the portal worked and they were yeeted to another time, the world they knew was destroyed because of the moon, and humanity was wiped out, F.

The umbrella kids, however, found themselves in the 60's -Dallas!- thanks to Five and his brightass portals. Jason found himself face-planted on the floor of some alley and without a second thought turned into his dog form. Fewer questions and suspicion about a dog than a boy.

Tail wagging, Jason went around the alley and started smelling stuff. trying to find a trace of the others. There was a faint but noticeable smell of expensive perfume in the foul-smelling garbage, a perfume that he remembers on Allison, while they were hiding from Kenny's wonderful birthday surprise.

The giant German Sheppard starting trotting towards where Allison's smell was coming from, and after many twists and turns --like 2 but anygays-- he found himself standing in front of Odessa's salon, a small but nice looking salon.

Not bothering to change into human form or even looking inside to make sure she was in there, Jason opened the door with his muzzled and went inside.

It was silent for a total of 2 seconds before someone screamed and another person came to shoo him out angrily.

Jason sidestepped them all and made his way towards the back where a curious Allison had left the counter to see what was going on.

As soon Allison saw the giant German Sheppard she flinched, and Jason realized with embarrassment that none of the siblings besides Klaus knew he had the ability to turn into a dog.

Well, it wasn't his fault, the Hargreeves were just idiots who took long enough to realize simple things. Take the Nunya Biznes thing as an example. If this was a show, then they would be in the second season meaning they didn't realize Jason was literally a dog for a whole season! idiots, and they were supposed to be the brightest and the best.

With an eye-roll, Jason sat on his hind legs and tilted his head the way he knew it would make him look cute and harmless, and when Allison hesitantly reached out a hand, he slowly bumped his head against her palm before lying down by her feet.

The rest of the salon watched as their newest addition supposedly tamed what they thought to be a vicious beast.

Allison crouched down and ran a hand through his fluff -uwu- and looked up, "I guess I'm taking her home."

Oh wow, not even an hour here, and he was already misgendered!

Where even was here?

Jason raised his head to ask but it wasn't like they could speak dog and understand him so he just laid his head back down and relaxed under Allison's careful touch.

"I will take care of you, Chew-Barka"

Jason groaned. Wonderful, another bad dog name for him!

He should really look into curses and stuff, he might be cursed. The Curse of bad dog names.

Or maybe the Hargreeves just couldn't name stuff.

Could be either.

After the working hours, Allison made a handmade leash for Jason --now dubbed Chew-Barka-- and led him out to the nearest pet shop that wasn't an idiot and allowed in black people. During the time Jason had been in the Salon he gathered that he was in Dallas and it was the 16th of November.  

Once they were at the pet shop, Allison got him a doggy bed, a leash, and a collar with Chew-Barka graved on the plate, besides some dog food. She also bought a squicky toy which made Jason excited but hush, this isn't about squicky.

Jason followed Allison all the way to her house and saw the lights were on inside. Maybe she had a roommate or something.

"Honey! I've got a surprise!" Allison yelled out as she opened the door and went in the direction that smelled like food with Jason following behind her on his leash.

"What is it- Ah!" A tall handsome man jumped back from where he was stirring something. Dam, that must be Allison's boyfriend? Fiance? Husband?

"What is that?" He asked without moving.

Allison smiled and crouched down to pet his head, "He wandered into the salon today, and I guess we connected."

"You...connected?"

"Yes Ray, he took a liking to me and I just couldn't let him be alone," Allison's voice was filled with sadness and Ray noticed it, making him more accepting that now they had a German Sheppard.

All Jason wanted was for Ray to go away so he could tell Allison who he was, but the guy lived here so maybe tomorrow?

That night Chew-Barka slept on his doggy bed in the living room and wondered where he could find some quality alcohol. And Five. He should probably look for Five. But after the Vodka.

The next day he woke up immediately when he heard sleepy footsteps from the stairs, he lazily lifted his head and eyed Ray who wearily sidestepped around where his doggy bed was and entered the kitchen and soon after the sound of plates and glasses filled the house.

After stretching himself, Jason entered the kitchen and started snooping.

"You have your own food, Chew-Barka," Ray said and went back to cracking the eggs when he paused, "What does that even mean?"

Allison chuckled as she entered the room and kissed Ray on the cheek which was disgusting, Jason didn't need to see them make love and stuff, "Give it a few years..."

"Allison, you're not making any sense! Allison! Explain!"

The Hargreeves --now probably something else just laughed and ruffled Jason's hair.

Jason sighed and went to eat the disgusting dog food, hopefully, Raymond would leave the house in a few hours and he could finally talk to Allison.

ᴥ︎

Oh, this was hilarious.

Real funny fate!

It was Raymond's off day.

How hilarious is that?

It's not, Jason's not laughing.

(he should be, this is hilarious!)

He decided to retaliate by chewing on Raymond's favorite slippers.

Take that you Brother-in-law-who-didn't-invite-the-in-laws-to-the-wedding.

The Italian doggo boy decided to spend the rest of the day laying down on the couch and pretending to be deaf when the couple scolded him for getting on the furniture. It worked wonderfully and they sighed and squeezed themselves around them, that's when Jason showed mercy and picked up his head to put it on Allison's lap so she could sit more comfortably.

Fuck Raymond, there's plenty of space outside the house, he can go chill there.

Allison only laughed and petted him, "You know, you remind me of this Italian friend I had."

Oh so now he's a friend? How dare she! After everything, they went through-!

"Well, I only knew him for like a week but it was like he was part of our family, you know?"

Jason calmed down from his drama-panic and instead settled on licking her face.

Yeah Allison, I know.

━━━━━━━━━
BONJOUR MFS!

HOW IS YALL ON THIS FINE DAY?

IK IM LATE AND PLEASE DO COMPLAIN ABOUT IT, I DESERVE IT ;-;

Also I got a discord server! Come interact with us!
The link is in my bio, hopefully I'll see you there owo

Memes...

Yes they're mostly chew-barka memes
Fight me (ง'̀-'́)ง