eighteen: alone

Miles 

"Have you ever seen something so beautiful?"

 Spider asked, gazing out onto the open waters. Unlike Earth, the water was crystal clear, and you could see almost every fish and creature beneath the surface. 

But while he was focused on the ocean, I was looking elsewhere. On the top of the ship, her Ikran beside her, was Ninat'ia. While Zephyrs' head was in her lap, she stared out into the open waters and the wind moved her hair from her face.

"Not in my whole life," I answered, completely unafraid.

Also, completely unaware of the fact that Spider knew what I was talking about, or rather, who I was talking about. He glanced between me and her, aware of what I felt.

"She likes you, you know," Spider nudged me and I snapped out of my daze.

"I have not a clue what you mean," I crossed my arms, moving so my back faced her.

"Yeah, whatever," he rolled his eyes, "just so you know, she's also staring. It's like watching Jake and Neytiri, it's so gross."

My ears perked up and I looked back. Just as the kid said, she was staring at me but once we locked eyes, she looked back to the ocean and her ears folded back.

"Ew, aren't you like twice her age? That's even grosser," Spider said in disgust, walking back into the ship.

When I came back from the dead, I remembered nothing. I saw those video tapes and then I knew who I was - a soldier with a purpose for killing the Na'vi and then taking Pandora for humanity. That was all I was brought back for, and yet, my mission seemed to alter its course. From the very moment I met her, I knew that something was changing. Even after leaving a permanent scar on my neck, I could see the determination of a soldier within her, and it earned my respect.

Then, we were in the forest. All she wanted was for us to learn more about Pandora itself, and all of my soldiers were dicking around with no regard for what the planet had to offer. As she pounded on my chest with her fists, tears streaming down her face, I knew that this was the same girl I wanted to marry back on Earth. She held the same fire in her eyes and the same strength in her heart.

She is my Nina.

"Am I that beautiful, doll?" I asked, settling down next to her. Zephyr stirred and rose to her feet before taking off in flight, joining the other Ikran.

"I do not know what you speak of," she said, avoiding eye contact.

"Staring like that is gonna earn a strict talking to, Nina," she looked at me confused.

"Nina?"

"What? Can't give you a nickname?" 

"Nickname. . .is it similar to Jake calling me Ninat?" she questioned.

"Exactly like that-"

"Then I will call you Miles," she cut me off, her body subtly scooting closer to me.

"Nina and Miles," I mused, looking down at her hand and grabbing it. Startled, she looked at me with confusion in her eyes until I interlaced our fingers together. 

"You do not know what you do, Miles," she said, her voice softer than usual as she looked at me. Those doe eyes could bring any man to their knees, and hell, it almost brought me to my own.

"You cannot do this. You will not trick me into believing you truly care for my people, not while you still hunt for Jake," she said, pushing my hand away and getting up to walk away.

I stood up, facing her back and walking up behind her, "so, you feel it too."

She didn't answer.

I couldn't blame the woman. Her world has been thrown into war again with us returning, and now she thinks she may have feelings for someone like me. 

The man responsible for her home's destruction and her father's death.

"I will not risk putting you or the boy's life in danger, which means I will have to keep up an act for a while," I told her while intertwining our hands again, and from the sunset view reflecting onto her skin, I saw a tear slip down.

"I hate you," she swore, turning to me.

"I hate you for killing my father, for the death of so many of my people, and for taking Spider and me as your prisoners," my heart was hammering as she told me this, wondering if this was it. If she secretly had a knife somewhere and was waiting for the perfect moment to strike.

"And yet, every time you look at me, I see love. I see the love you have for my planet, for the people, and for Spider. . .I do not know what to think," she managed to get out as I wiped away the tears streaming down her face.

"I hate my heart because. . .I. . ."

My hands cupped her face, "because you love me?"

She nodded, closing her eyes as more tears tried to escape. I wasn't going to try anything, not while she was so tied up in her own mind, and so all I did was hold her in my arms.

I'll protect you both.

I swear to every God, I will kill everyone who stands between us.

/// They won't mate yet. It would feel too rushed if I did that now, plus let's be realistic, Ninat'ia still doesn't know that Miles knows about Nina and how he compares them both.