20│THE JIMMY JAB GAMES VII

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"Listen up. There's been an issue with the motorcade. The Serbian President is delayed in Washington, and we can't start locking down intersections until he takes off," Raymond informed the squad at their morning briefing.

"Apparently he's on an important call with the Albanian President," Terry explained.

"Is that Bujar Nishani or is it still Bamir Topi?" Amy raised a brow.

"Oh, Ames, let me check," Gina pulled out her phone, "Hmm, it just says no one likes you."

"There's a three-hour delay, minimum," Terry continued, trying to get back on track, "Captain Holt and I will have to leave for a meeting at One Police Plaza. You should all stay prepped and ready."

"Dismissed," Raymond called before he and Terry left the briefing room to go over their presentation for One Police Plaza.

"Guys, guys, guys," Jake jumped from his seat before anyone else could leave, "Three-hour delay with no Holt or Terry? Do you have any idea what this means?"

"Makeovers," Charles immediately answered.

"Checking out the drugs in evidence for a 'routine inspection'?" Rich guessed with a sly smile.

"No to both those things," Jake shook his head before he grinned, "The Jimmy Jab games!"

"Yeah!" The 99, apart from Rich, Natasha, and Jay, cheered.

Thankfully Jake went into an explanation before either of the three had to ask.

"The first Jimmy Jabs were held in 2008 when the King of Iraq-"

"President, Iran," Rosa corrected Jake.

"Armen Jimmy Jab."

"Ahmadinejad."

"Came to New York, and we were on call for nine glorious hours in case there were protests. On that day, a young genius named Jake Peralta used the last piece of his bagel to create the first Jimmy Jab event. The Monster Mouth Bagel Toss. And the rest was history. As soon as Holt and Terry leave, we will commence with Jimmy Jab 7: Circus of Fools," Jake decided with an excited gleam in his eyes.

"Jimmy Jabs. Jimmy Jabs. Jimmy Jabs! Jimmy Jabs! Jimmy Jabs!"

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"So Jimmy Jabs, huh?" Jake smiled innocently as he walked over to Rosa, "What do you say we make it interesting this year? Aha! We could play for Katie's number."

"No," She deadpanned immediately before she raised a brow, "Is this why you wanted to do Jimmy Jabs?"

"No. Yes," He huffed with a frown, "Why? What gave it away?"

"You said, 'aha' and snapped your fingers."

"Ah," He nodded slowly and rolled his eyes at himself.

He really needed to learn how to lie better. He thought about asking Natasha for help but immediately decided against that. Spending more time with her, and alone, would just make the feelings so much worse. He could not afford for that to happen because it already hurt as is whenever he saw her with Jay.

Speaking of Jay, he stiffened when he saw him walk up to Natasha and whisper in her ear, making her laugh. He let out a deep breath and decided he would win the Jimmy Jabs just to at least prove to himself that Jay Halstead was not better than him.

He just managed to get the girl of Jake's dream to go out with him which Jake hadn't been able to do. Maybe winning would also show Natasha that he wasn't just some over-grown man-baby.

"Anyway, so it's settled," Jake decided to try his luck at brushing off his sad attempt at a lie, "If I win the Jimmy Jabs, you give me her number. And if I lose, you don't have to give it to me."

"I already don't have to give it to you," She scoffed.

He sighed. "All right, I'll give you $200, and I'll never ask you for another phone number again."

Rosa smirked. "Done."

"We're off," Terry called as he and Raymond made their way to the elevator, "You'll get word when the Serbian President is wheels-up."

"You got it, sarge. We'll just be here till you get back. Calmly and respectfully prepping," Jake grinned when the elevator doors closed, "All right, they're gone! Ceremonial bagel. Flask. Flame."

Natasha took a step forward with her blow torch and lit the alcohol-soaked bagel. Rosa kicked the trash can filled with shredded paper towards them as Scully performed a Jimmy Jabs opera.

"Let the games begin!" Jake smirked as he threw the bagel into the trash can and it lit up in flames.

The 99 erupted into screams of excitement before they rushed into the briefing room to start the first event.

"Welcome to the Jimmy Jabs. We play for pride. We play for the phone numbers of Rosa's friends. But most importantly, we play to watch Amy lose," Jake smirked as he pointed to her.

"Nope," She shook her head confidently, "This is my year."

"It's my year too," Scully smiled.

"Please don't align yourself with me," She glared at him.

"Why not? Neither of you has ever come close to winning. You're exactly the same, just a couple of Santiagos," Jake argued with a laugh, "But the real prize is the Winchester 3000, the only chair in the precinct with minimal staining, good lumbar support, and no broken rolly-wheels. Over to you, Gina."

"Thank you, Jake. Okay, guys, as usual, the loser of each event is eliminated from the games. The winner gets a bonus in the final round," Gina clapped her hands.

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THE MOUTHATHON

"Our first event is; The Mouthathon," Gina called as she ripped off the table cover in front of them, "In front of you is month-old Chinese food from the fridge. Go ahead and eat as much as you can stomach. On your mark, get set, Wahlberg!"

Everyone immediately grimaced when the smell hit their noses.

"Ugh!" Charles frowned as he dropped his chopsticks, "I can't do this to my mouth. She's the love of my life."

"Charles is eliminated," Gina called as he jumped away from the table in disgust.

"Ugh, I think this ball of soup is off," Rosa frowned as she tried to keep from gagging, "I'm out!"

"I can do this. I wanna win so bad," Amy told herself as she tried to swallow a bite, "Ugh, this is so gross! I'm out."

"The food in prison was better than this!" Rich scoffed in disgust as he dropped his chopsticks. He paused before he sighed wistfully, "Y'know, I used to have this chef who would make the most beautiful tiramisu."

"Ooh, do you have the recipe?" Charles asked as the two started discussing their favorite cuisine.

"Oh God," Natasha whined, "This is worse than getting shot!"

"Oh, great. Here, quick, let me take a picture," Jake grinned as he pulled out his phone, "Oh, that's so cute. You've got a little bit of mold on the tip of your nose."

"And I'm out!" She huffed, jumping away from the table.

"Right behind you, babe," Jay gagged as he followed after her.

"And Zalstead goes out together!" Rich squealed, "Aren't they just the cutest!"

"If I wasn't about to throw up I would force-feed you everything on that table," Natasha glared at him as Jay wrapped an arm around her.

"Ooh, kinky," Rich smirked, "We can always wait until after you're feeling better."

Natasha rolled her eyes and turned her attention to Jay instead.

Jake frowned as he watched the two. Jay dabbed a napkin at her face to clean her up and she smiled up at him adorably. Jake looked down at the Chinese food with a renewed determination, he was going to beat Jay Halstead even if it meant burning a hole in his stomach lining.

"I tried. I tried, but he's unbeatable," Jake huffed as he begrudgingly set down his spoon.

Everyone turned to Scully in shock that he was still eating.

"You guys know this is free, right?" He asked before he scarfed down another box.

ELIMINATED: CHARLES BOYLE AND NORM SCULLY

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BULKY BULKY RUN RUN

"The Jimmy Jabs has claimed its first victims," Gina threw Charles an unimpressed look, "Boyle, you made no impact. Also, Detective Scully has withdrawn due to food poisoning, which I think we all saw coming. All right, the second event is 'Bulky Bulky Run Run', the bomb suit foot race."

"Sure hope I don't sprain my arm during the face, 'cause I'm gonna be opening up a lot of doors for Katie on our date. Oh, yeah, I'm gonna be a gentleman," Jake smirked at Rosa.

She furrowed her brows. "What are you doing, Jake?"

"Trash-talking you while simultaneously proving that I will be respectful of your friend. It's a tough line to walk," He explained.

"And you are not walking it," Natasha laughed with a teasing smirk.

Jake rolled his eyes before he wrung out his hands. "Gotta loosen up my flower-buying fingers. I'm gonna go nuts on the daisies."

"On your mark, get set... Ruffalo!" Gina called and jumped back to give them room.

The squad all clambered across the precinct in the bomb suits, trying to push past each other to win. As they were rushing up the stairs, Hitchcock tripped and fell off the banister.

ELIMINATED: MICHAEL HITCHCOCK

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GINA TRANSLATE

"Our third event will be 'Gina Translate'. As you all know the English language cannot fully capture the depth and complexity of my thoughts. So, I now incorporate emoji into my speech to better express myself, winky face. Contestants will have to correctly decipher and translate my emojis within 30 seconds."

"You mean pop culture references," Rich smirked, "Now this is where I shine."

"Someone's confident. I cannot wait to rip that away from you," Gina smiled excitedly.

"I will destroy you," Rich promised, "Or to put it better, eye emoji, fist emoji, bomb emoji, fire emoji, arrow emoji, girl emoji."

Gina gave him an impressed look. "A'ight, so you can handle the heat of emoji talk. You just might be that extra sparkle of pizzazz this place has been lacking."

"I thought I already did that?" Natasha frowned.

"Yeah but you're not new anymore," Gina shrugged as she looked Rich up and down, "Now, him? He is promising."

"Why, thank you," Rich smiled, "Finally, someone in this dump who sees my worth."

"Alright, alright, can we get on with the games," Rosa huffed.

"Well, fine," Gina rolled her eyes, "Rich, you're up first."

"Bring it on."

"Hm, okay. British flag, boat, arrow, American flag, explosion, ice cube, mountain, skull emoji."

Rich scoffed. "C'mon, at least give me a hard one. Titanic."

"How did he do that so fast?" Amy frowned as she tried to put the emojis together in her head.

"Next up, Jake! Let's see, hm. Farm emoji, crown, bell, air."

"... Fresh Prince of Bel-Air!" Jake guessed after a beat of silence.

"Yes, girl!" Gina cheered as the rest of the 99 clapped for him.

"Rosa. Star emoji and money bag emoji."

"What?" Her brows furrowed as she tried to piece it together, "Star... Starbucks?"

"I am so proud of you!" Gina nodded with a smile, "Jay! Mouse, roller coaster, globe emoji."

"Why would a mouse be on a roller coaster?" He asked with a frown as he tried to come up with something.

"C'mon Jay!" Natasha cheered for him.

"How come I didn't get any cheering," Jake huffed to himself as he crossed her arms with a pout.

"Uh, Disney?" He guessed slowly.

"Disney..." Gina trailed off as she looked down at her timer, "Tik tok, pretty boy."

"Globe emoji... Disney World!"

"Right on time," She called as she reset the timer, "Tasha, make me proud, girl. Sad weepy face emoji, house emoji, bride emoji."

"... Uh, house and bride, that's definitely housewife," Natasha smirked when she remembered watching a soap opera with her abuelita, "Desperate housewives!"

"Get it, girl!" Gina cheered as she gave her a high five, "Amy, if you get this we go into round two, if you lose you will be eliminated."

"I can do this," Amy nodded confidently, "I am finally going to win a Jimmy Jabs."

"You keep telling yourself that. I have zero faith in you, now let's play! Lightning emoji, storm, blonde hunk, hammer emoji."

Amy frowned as her brows furrowed, she had no idea what that was supposed to be. "Uh, is it... a handyman?"

"Ten seconds left," Gina called.

"No!" Amy cried, "Um, electrician?"

"Three, two, one, and Amy is out!"

"No!" She whined with a huff.

"That was Thor by the way," Rich pointed out, "I mean, come on, how easy could she have made it for you."

"Not helping, Rich!" Amy glared.

"Sheesh, okay. You try to be nice to a guy."

ELIMINATED: AMY SANTIAGO

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HUNGRY HUNGRY HITCHCOCK

"Our next round is 'Hungry Hungry Hitchcock', as usual, Hitchcock is asleep at his desk. You will each get three tries to land at least one M&M into his mouth," Gina explained as she handed out the M&Ms, "Rosa, you're up first."

Everyone managed to get at least one M&M into Hitchcock's mouth and he swallowed them happily without even stirring in his sleep.

It was Rich's turn now and so far he'd missed two out of the three tries he had.

"This game is rigged!" He complained as he moved his position in hopes of getting a better aim, "I am good at everything!"

"Or you're just really bad at throwing things," Natasha teased with a smirk.

"Y'know if it was anyone other than the other half of my favorite ship I would be upset," He smiled fondly at her.

"You really know how to take the fun out of insulting you, huh?" She glared at him.

"Like I said, I'm good at everything," He smirked coolly before turning back to Hitchcock and finally throwing his last M&M.

The 99 watched it fly through the air and land on Hitchcock's eye before bouncing to the ground.

"No!" Rich wailed as he dropped to his knees in the overly-dramatic fashion that was Rich Dotcom.

"Here, have an M&M," Gina handed him the red tube to make him feel better.

"Ooh," He grinned as he stuffed a handful into his mouth.

"Get off the floor, Rich, it's disgusting," Natasha huffed.

"Awe, you care about me," He held a hand up to his heart.

ELIMINATED: RICH DOTCOM

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KEEP YOUR COVER

"The next event will be 'Keep Your Cover'. Contestants must craft an undercover persona and talk to as many police officers as you can before being recognized," Gina explained after drawing big red X's on the photos of everyone who'd been eliminated so far.

Jay was dressed as an old man and had a cane, Jake was dressed as a cyclist, Rosa a preppy blonde, and Natasha was a pregnant woman.

"Ugh, this is so unfair!" Rich complained as he took a bite out of the sandwich Charles made him, "This challenge was made for me! I am the best liar here."

"Eh," Natasha shrugged as she crossed her arms confidently.

"She is scary good," Jay admitted before he wrapped an arm around her proudly.

"You two are so sweet it might give me diabetes," He grinned at the two which earned him an eye roll.

"Pregnant. Nice," Jake commented with a childish grin, "Means you had sex."

"Unprotected sex," Natasha nodded with a laugh, "I think the pregnancy bump will take the focus off my face."

"Smart. Like one big boob," Jake nodded.

"No, but okay," She pursed her lips at his weird comment.

Jake smiled to himself, at least she went with it instead of calling him an idiot.

"Jake will go first, then Tasha, Jay, and Rosa. On your mark, get set, Paul Gosselaar!"

The challenge was almost over, only Rosa was left. Jake and Jay had both gotten to six people while Natasha got eight.

"Dumb baby! People are right, they ruin everything!" Natasha huffed when she dropped her water bottle and couldn't bend down to get it.

"I don't think that's a reason to hate babies," Jay laughed as he picked it up for her.

"I hated them before this," She smirked and pecked his cheek in thanks.

"Oh, I gotta take this," Jay said when his phone rang, "Voight's calling to check in on Rich."

"So, how many did you get?" Jake asked when it was just the two of them on the balcony, "I got six."

Natasha smirked. "Eight."

"What?! No way!" He scoffed.

"Yes way!" She nodded happily as she took off the fake pregnancy bump.

"Hey, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa! I wanna try. Let me be pregnant," Jake grabbed it from her.

"Adorable," She laughed when he posed for her.

"Right?" He smiled.

"Peralta. What the hell? Where were you?" Rosa glared at him before she sighed, "I got eliminated. I didn't even make it past one person."

"You're out? So it's just the three of us?" Natasha asked.

"And all I have to do to get Katie's number is beat Tasha and Jay?" Jake grinned, "Oh, that's nothing."

Natasha gave him a glare and hit his chest.

"Hey! Don't you dare touch Tasha Junior," He gasped as he cradled his 'pregnancy bump' protectively.

"What?" Natasha's eyes widened before she laughed.

"That's right. It's your baby!" He glared at her teasingly.

"Oh, so you're saying I got you pregnant," Natasha joined in on the joke for once.

"You sure did!" Jake was almost going to burst from how happy he was that Natasha was joining in on one of his jokes.

"Jake," Rosa huffed as she watched the two with pursed lips.

"Hmm?" His eyes never left Natasha even as she turned to face Rosa.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" Anyone could tell it wasn't actually a question. 

"Yeah, sure thing," He nodded and took off the baby bump, and followed her inside.

"All right, Jake, you wanna call off the bet?" Rosa raised a brow once they were alone.

"Seriously?" He scoffed, "You're gonna back out now just 'cause you're losing? What is this, a riverboat casino on the river of no rules?"

"No. I'm giving you a chance to call off the bet because it's clear you don't actually want Katie's number because you're still into Tasha."

"What?" He laughed loudly, "That's crazy. I just spent the whole day fighting for another girl's number."

"You spent the whole day flirting with Tasha," She corrected him, "And staring at her, and glaring at her boyfriend."

"Yeah, we're joking around because we're friends now that I've moved on," Jake defended with a huff, "And I was not glaring! I was just... observing the competition."

"Then prove it. Beat Tasha and don't flirt with her at all."

"Fine. Easy," He nodded, "But you better tell Katie to clear her schedule out Thursday for a date, 'cause I am working nights until then, and the following weekend, I am out of town. Let's do this!"

"Hey, Jake. Question, what do you think will burn more when I win? Making you crown me Jimmy Jab winner on my first try or crowning you loser of the Jimmy Jab's to a first-time player?" Natasha smirked.

"Oh, wow, okay," His grin fell when his eyes caught Rosa's and he nodded dryly, "Both are examples of good burns."

"No comeback? You must be pretty nervous," She laughed.

He nodded, she had no idea. "Yep."

ELIMINATED: ROSA DIAZ

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PIN THE TAIL ON THE DIAZ

"This round is 'Pin the Tail on the Diaz' where the final three competitors will have to pin this cat tail from Charles' emergency Halloween kit onto Rosa. If by some miracle, all three of you manage to survive this event then the loser will be determined by the longest time taken to pin the tail on the Diaz. Up first, Tasha."

Natasha managed to pin the tail on Rosa in record time, only taking about two minutes. She'd pretended to be following up on a case while Rosa was at her desk and pinned the tail onto her shoulder once she was focused on the case file. All she received was a reluctant fist bump because Rosa, while reluctant to admit it, was proud that Natasha managed to trick her.

Jake, on the other hand, opted for a less discreet method which was to be expected. Although, because of that he managed to win the round as he pinned the tail the fastest. He'd sent Charles in as a distraction, having him fake an injury right by Rosa's desk. And while she was worrying over him, Jake rushed over and pinned the tail on the Diaz. Although he did not get away with it as easily as Natasha had, he had a bruise on his arm to prove it.

By the time it was Jay's turn, Rosa had realized she was about to get a tail pinned on her again and went into hiding. While his tactic to get the tail pinned onto her went flawlessly, he'd lost on account of time because it took him a while to find her.

"And so we say goodbye to Pretty Boy," Gina announced as she crossed his picture off.

Jake was ecstatic at having beat Jay, finally feeling like he had the upper hand in their one-sided rivalry. But, his happiness didn't last long because his face immediately fell when he saw Natasha pull him into a hug.

"He loses and he gets a hug but I win and I get nothing!" He huffed to himself.

ELIMINATED: JAY HALSTEAD

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THE OBSTACLE COURSE

"Join hands, one and all, for we have reached the final event of the Jimmy Jabs, The Obstacle Course."

"Good luck," Natasha smirked, "You're gonna need it."

Jake smiled down at her, ready to tease her when he remembered his conversation with Rosa. His voice turned stiff. "Yes. We all need luck. Thank you for offering me some."

"Okay," Natasha looked at him weirdly before turning to face Gina. 

"On your mark, get Seth... Rogen!" Gina called.

"Go, Tasha!" Rosa, Rich, and Jay cheered as they sprinted across the bullpen.

"Contestants must make it past the barricade hurdles then use a bean bag gun to get a snack," Gina narrated the obstacle course like a sports announcer, "You will eat the snack in its entirety."

While Natasha had managed to get a lead at the barricade hurdles, she found falling behind as Jake got his snack out of the vending machine and into his stomach a lot faster than she did.

"Come on... Close, close, close, close!" Jake begged as he pushed the 'door-close' button on the elevator when he saw Natasha running towards him.

"Yes!" She grinned when she made it into the elevator before the doors closed, putting them back into a tie.

"Next, head down to the first floor where you will locate a pamphlet about bullying. Then print out a picture of me using a laptop from 1982 whoever grabs their printout first is the winner!"

While Jake had managed to get his picture of Gina sent to the printer seconds before Natasha, he'd been knocked to the floor in surprise when he was suddenly sprayed with a fire extinguisher. The short walk to the printer was a complete mess.

"Aah!" He yelped as he tripped over his feet while trying to cover his face.

"Surprise twist!" Gina laughed as the 99 continued to attack Jake with the fire extinguishers.

Natasha, who'd stood up seconds after Jake, managed to avoid the initial shock. But she stood still as she watched Jake continue to trip over himself and the foam in his attempt to make it to the printer.

"What are you doing, Zapata? Go!" Rosa demanded.

"Aah! You're burning my skin!" Jake yelped as he curled up into a fetal position.

Natasha grabbed the rolly chair she'd been sitting in and used it as a shield to get across the bullpen and grab the picture of Gina.

"That's my girl!" Jay cheered excitedly and ran over to her, lifting her up and twirling her proudly.

"I won!" She yelled happily as the rest of the 99 cheered and clapped for her.

Their celebration was cut off immediately. "What's going on here?"

"Someone answer him now!" Terry demanded as silence washed over the bullpen, "Santiago! Peralta! Boyle?"

"Hitchcock is very handsome," Charles stuttered out, which had everyone turning to him with weird looks.

"Why, thank you, Boyle," Hitchcock smiled.

"No one has anything to say?" Raymond raised a brow.

Natasha and Rosa shared a look and decided to take one for the team. They walked over to Raymond and Terry with their heads held high.

"Captain, what you just saw was the Jimmy Jab Games. It's a bunch of dumb contests we play to kill the time," Rosa explained.

"Nobody even cares who wins. It's stupid, but we like it," Natasha shrugged.

"Clean this up. Now," Raymond demanded, his tone icy.

ELIMINATED: JAKE PERALTA

WINNER: NATASHA ZAPATA

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"The Serbian President's plane is wheels up. Report to your motorcade positions immediately. Let's go!" Raymond called as he walked out of his office.

"Hey, you gave it a good try. Sorry you lost," Rosa smiled at Jake as they walked to the elevator.

Jake stopped and sighed with a sheepish look "No. It's for the best. I let Tasha win. You're right. I'm not over her."

He went on to explain that back in the elevator, he hadn't been pushing the door close button but rather the door open button. And he'd slightly exaggerated his fall during the whole fire extinguisher race.

"You're right. I'm not over her," He admitted with a sad look.

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〚𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄〛

How are you guys liking season two so far?

I really hope you guys liked Gina Translate, Hungry Hungry Hitchcock, and Pin the Tail on the Diaz. It took me a while to come up with games that I thought could actually be apart of the Jimmy Jab Games. Please don't forget to vote and comment.

Have a great day and stay safe ♥♥

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