Ricardo Valdez

I was not about to tell the grieving 16 year old orphan that he couldn't see his abuela, regardless of her work schedule, are you insane?

Telling Leo that she should be home, I stepped aside to call and make sure she'd be home.

"Mijo?" Mama said as she answered my call, sounding confused. "What? Why are you calling in the middle of the afternoon? Are the children okay? Should your father be on the call with me?"

"Wh... Mama, breathe," I insisted. "My children are okay. There's been some changes in our plans today— are you home?"

"Am I home? Of course I home home, Mijo, it is my day off—it's the weekend. Should I cook something? Are the four of you coming over?"

"Rosa won't be with, but the kids will be— with one additional kid." I answered her question. "And I know you're usually home, I just want to make sure you were there before we came over. I'm not sure you'll have to cook for all of us— we can talk about that when I get there."

"Okay, if you insist— you aren't leaving Rosa, are you?"

I groaned internally, because it's not as if the thought didn't cross my mind this afternoon.

Looking over at the three kids, it was refreshing to see Ruby and Raphael not at odds with one another as they seemed to be trying to keep Leo's spirits up, despite everything.

The fact that his best friend just died...

It was so hard to lose my sister, his mom, when I was an adult and had already experienced death from our abuelo Sammy, along with a couple deaths that happened to kids we knew or knew of.

Not friends of mine, but people I was familiar with. Pupils from school.

But even I've never...

All of my friends are still alive. After all, I'm only in my mid-30s. It's still very early for anyone my age to die from something that isn't an accident.

Yet, at half my age, Leo lost his mom (and with that, his entire family), doesn't know his dad (unless that's changed over the years), and has now suffered the loss of his best friend.

At half my age.

"I.... haven't not thought about it." I admitted, sealing my lips. "I'll explain more when we get there— we'll be there in a little bit, yeah? We're coming from the graveyard, so it'll be a half hour or so."

Insisting that she'd see us when we arrived, I then ordered an Uber and went to tell the kids that their abuela was home, so we'd leave for there shortly.

After telling them that, Leo said he was going to say a few more things to his mom before we left, and I tried not to listen in.

But he's been gone for 8 years, so sue me for being a little curious.

"I don't know when I'll be back," Leo told his mom. "I'll try to come back before I leave Houston again, but just in case I don't get to: I miss you and I love you and I hope that... I get to see you. One day."

Leo fished something out of his pocket— what looked like a coin to me, but it wasn't silver— it was golden.

"Just in case you need it to cross." And even though I didn't understand the line, it nearly brought me to tears. "Um... Oh, bisabuelo. I don't know if you can hear me or not— if you've been waiting. But I met her."

Her?

Does Leo have a girlfriend?

"I met Hazel." But that name brought back memories for me— photos my abuelo, Sammy, had shown me and told me about a million times as a kid when he'd watch us on weekends. He'd met this girl named Hazel as a kid and he loved her. She died, but he was told that she would return— that her biggest challenge would come after he was gone.

After she died, he met our abuela, though she died relatively young— I was in elementary school when she died. Cancer from smoking so much.

But the name Hazel...

"We didn't really... Get along at first." Leo went on. "Initially, she didn't have all of her memories, so she didn't remember you, but she recognized me so there was tension for a little while, but eventually she got her memories back and we figured it out and I think we're friends now. I haven't... Seen her in a while, but she's doing really good and she says hi and that she misses you and hopes that your life was amazing— she has a boyfriend now, they're a cute couple. They'll get to live a full life together, I'm sure. Or at least, both of them will live full lives. At our age it's... hard to know anything for sure."

Leo noticed the Uber coming around the corner.

"Oh, that's my ride." He said, standing up and placing another gold coin down. "Just in case you need it, too— I'm not sure what Hazel told you. What she knew. But I have to go. Bye, Sammy."

He paused, taking a breath.

"Bye, mom."

Wiping his face, Leo paused and then turned to walk away from the Valdez burial site, hugging himself to prevent a further breakdown from happening.

"That's our ride?" My nephew questioned.

I nodded. "You ready?"

He smiled tightly, pained.

"I've never been ready for anything in my life," the 16 year old boy insisted, which broke my heart. "But I think I can handle a 10 minute Uber with three other people."

So, with that, the four of us met our driver at the entrance of the cemetery.

And you know, he was a very respectful driver. When we got in, he pointed out the device that he used for music, telling is that we could change it if we wanted to. Then, when he dropped us off, he said that he hoped our day was blessed and that he gives us his condolences for whoever it was we were visiting before our ride.

He also offered us suckers, but I'm always skeptical of free candy from strangers, so we didn't take any.

Getting to my parents home, I could already smell the cookies and churros my mom must've thrown in the oven and fryer when I called— she always has batches made up for when she has surprise guests.

"Ricardo! Ruby! Raphael!" My mother's voice floated through the air as she opened the door to let us inside before we could even knock. She gave me and Ruby hugs and Raphael a high five since he's been going through a phase lately where he doesn't like being hugged. "I'm so happy to see you all today! Who else did you..."

And, as Leo steps inside, my mom is about to see what an absolute mess he was not that long ago, even if he's calmed down a little since then. The car ride helped a lot.

His nose was still red and his eyes were still puffy and bloodshot, though.

But furthermore, and as I expected would happen, my nephew seemed to have a wave of nostalgia hit him as he walked inside.

Which, as of right now, could be very good or very bad for his stability. We would find out in the next 5 minutes.

"Oh, sweet child, what's going on?" My mother's asked who I don't think she realized was her grandson due to lack of context. But regardless, she cupped his face. "It's such a beautiful day outside, why do you cry? Come here, child."

My mom pulled the middle of the three children into her arms as my dad, trained for a crisis like this after losing his daughter, brought the plate of desserts to the coffee table so we wouldn't have to travel as far for them.

And Leo, who I imagine has had one of the hardest weeks of his life emotionally, fell to pieces in his abuela's arms.

It was... Hard to watch. After about 30 seconds, I walked over to my dad, who was still in the kitchen, observing the situation.

"What's going on?" Papa whispered to me as I saw my two kids sit down in the living room. "Who... Who's the kid? I didn't even get to see who it was before your mom pulled him into a hug."

I pulled one of the island stools over, putting it behind my dad.

"You're gonna want to sit down."

"Wh— oh my Jesus, fine, I'll sit." Dad decided not to fight it, knowing that I rarely tell him what to do. He didn't sit all the way down, but more or less leaned against the stool. "Who is it, Rico? You don't have a third kid all of a sudden, do you?"

"Do— no, Papa, no." I reassured him of that much. "I never cheated on Rosa, you know that."

I nodded towards the front door.

"That," I broke the news to my father. "Is Leo."

At first, he had no reaction, which confused me.

"No?" Papa corrected. "Leo is much taller, is he not? He's the one that does running with Raphael? That can't be him."

But both of my kids have had a friend named Leo at one point or another, both of which my parents know about and have met well after my sister died.

"No, not... You're right, it's not him," I agreed with my dad in that point. "It's Leo— Valdez."

I paused.

"Esperanza's son."

"Es..."

It only took a moment for my dad's expression to fall as he ended up having to use the stool so he wouldn't fall. My dad looked at me, then at his wife and grandson, then at he, then at the two of them again.

"No," he began, failing to wrap his mind around the return of a family member that we all believed had died. "That's can't be.. Rosa said he... That in the fire..."

I squeezed my dad's arm.

"Rosa lied about a lot of things from that night," I explained, still not knowing the whole truth myself. "We found him at her grave today— he and Rosa shared some words and she accused him of some insane things so I told her to go home, but he said that it's the first time he's been in Houston since the fire. I'll explain more of what he told me when mom's over here, if he doesn't want to explain it again, but it's... A lot."

"I'd say so— it's a lot for me, at least." Papa agreed. "Where are his parents? Adopted or foster or... His dad even?"

I shrugged.

"He made it seem like he didn't have any parents at the moment, but I could've misunderstood him." I answered my dad's question as best as I could. "He wasn't there with anyone— he has friends, I know, but they don't live here and... Yeah."

"So is he..." Papa pondered, looking at Leo and his wife, then looking at me, whispering his question. "Do you think he's been sleeping on the streets?"

But that's something I didn't event... Think about, if I'm being honest.

"I... Don't know."

•••
Leo Valdez

It's been a long time since I've let myself cry that hard.

"Sorry," I apologized, feeling guilty and a little embarrassed for uncontrollably sobbing being the first impression my abuela gets of me as a teenager. I took a step back, realizing that I didn't know what to do with myself now. "I didn't... Think that would happen."

What if they don't want me here?

"Oh, darling, don't apologize," Abuela tried to reassure me. "Everyone's needs a good cry from time to time. Can I ask your name? I don't believe we've met— I'm Maria Valdez, Ruby and Raphael's Abuela. You must be a friend of theirs?"

"I... Don't know if I'd say that." I told her, trying not to dwell on the fact that she didn't recognize me at all. "We've been friendly today, but before then it's been..."

I exhaled. It's fine.

"Before then we were kids, so it's hard to say," I finished my sentence, looking to see if she had anything she could fall onto or catch herself with, and there was a storage ottoman behind her, so it worked. "My name is Leo. Or, Leonidas, but I'm only ever called that during roll call."

And for a moment, she seemed to consider the possibility, but largely dismissed me actually being me.

After all, Leo is a common name. I'm sure at least one of my cousins has a friend named Leo that the family has met a few times already.

"Valdez." I clarified, introducing myself for the second time today. "Leo Valdez. Esperanza's son."

I paused, letting her process the statement.

"Your grandson."

"My..." And naturally, the first thing she did was go into denial. "But you can't be..."

She looked me up and down, trying to decide if she believed me.

"Rosa said..."

"Rosa lied." I insisted. "Rosa saw me the night of the fire, and the morning after. She was the only one that saw me— which is how she got away with the lie, I guess."

"She... But why? Why lie about you being alive if..." Abuela questioned as she leaned against the cabinet behind her. "What... Happened to you? We all live in Houston, where... Have you been? How did the cops or CPS not call or... Did they find your dad? Are you staying with him?"

"I'm... Not, they never tracked him down, but I know who he is now— we haven't met, though." I clarified. "But CPS did bring me to the house— Rosa was the only one home. She... Heard what happened and blamed the fire on me, called me the devil, and told the cops to get me out of her sight. The next morning she came in to sign the papers to hand me over to the state— I've been kind of everywhere. No foster home really stuck, so... I haven't been in Texas, though, or the surrounding states. Right now I'm sort of between New York and Indiana, but I'm not officially in a foster home because I'm technically missing and... Yeah. Sorry, that's a lot, I shouldn't overwhelm you so soon after—"

She pulled me into another hug, rubbing my back.

"It's okay," my Abuela cut me off, her voice soothing my anxiety. "It's okay, Leo, you're home. You made it back home."

There was a pause as she pulled away from the hug, but kept her hands on my arms.

"If you want to stay, that is," my Mama's mama added on, which was weirdly reassuring in its own way. "it's been a long time— I don't want to assume that you came back to stay if Rico found you at your mom's grave. Especially if you last interaction with Rosa..." She sighed. "I'm sorry, Leo. Are you okay?"

Oh gods. I thought to myself. The worst question somebody could ask me right now.

Not only because I didn't know how much of it to answer, but because it seemed to dig everything up every time it's asked.

"Um..." I felt my lip tremble, my eyes watering. Guilt seemed to wash over my Abuela, which made me feel bad, but I couldn't stop it. I took a breath. "no. But I just cried really hard, so I don't think I have it in me to do it again."

Her expression dropped, pulling me into a third hug.

"Oh, Leo... I'm sorry. I know it's hard to come back after so long— visiting your mom never gets any easier, but one day we—"

I felt it bubble up, and the statement just slipped out.

"My best friend is dead." I cut off her reassurements, effectively silencing her. "He died earlier this week and I... Hadn't seen him since August, and I was going to surprise him and visit him in California, and I got there and they were loading up his casket to... Bring him home and... And so I helped one of our mutual friends move from LA to Tahlequah because it seemed better than going back to Indiana or New York and now her and her dad are moved in, so I came to see Mom and Sammy and I'm so tired and I'm hungry and... And I don't know where I want to be anymore, Abuela."

And as I rambled, she just held me.

"I know, Leo, I know," she insisted. "Why don't you come in for lunch and get some food in your belly, yeah? Then if you want to take a nap or if you want to stay, we can talk about that once you're running off more than steam."

She pondered.

"Do you want to help me make it?"

I smiled, and just nodded my head, following my Abuela further into the house.

I was back home.

It wasn't my home— it wasn't the house Mama and I lived in. But it was a home, and it was one I still connection to my childhood.

So it was a better home than most of the ones I've been in until now.

"Hey, kiddo," my Abuelo said, patting my back as I walked by him. "Welcome home."