"Zelda!" Link shouted.

Zelda, who had been looking through the pictures Link had taken in the Sheikah slate when she was holding back Ganon (including some tasteful pictures of his rear end, which seemed like a waste of the technology, but she certainly wasn't complaining), jumped. "I was absolutely not looking at your unclothed photographs."

"Huh?" Link looked as taken aback as Zelda did startled. "No, this isn't about my nudes. Unless you want it to be."

"Oh, um, no. Not at all. For what reason did you call for me?"

"I have a great idea! Okay, so you know how my favourite thing to do is sand seal racing?"

"I thought your favourite things to do were cooking, sword fighting, and shield surfing?"

"I'm a man of many interests."

She nodded because it was true. He had many interests, as did she. Her favourite hobby was researching ancient tech, followed by reading, playing the harp, and since recently, cooking. Link did not like the study of ancient tech, but he loved listening to Zelda talk about it. Watching the way her eyes lit up when she taught him about her latest discoveries made him finally understand why people watched the sunset.

Zelda was his sun, and he'd forever be watching her rise and set and sulk amongst clouds and shine just as bright from behind them. Sometimes he worried he wasn't good enough. The moon is not the sun's equal, he thought. But that, my friends, is a story for a later time.

"And one of them is sand seal racing! I'm actually the world champion at the moment, unless someone's beaten my record since then."

Zelda's mouth hung open. Was there anything Link couldn't do? "You're a world Olympic athlete?!"

Link didn't acknowledge her impressed reaction. "I didn't know the Olympics included sand seal racing."

"Yes, the world champion goes on to compete in the next Olympics."

"Oh, shit. I, er, I definitely let someone down. Straight up didn't show."

"Oh my gosh."

"Yeah." He rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment, then perked up. "But hey, that gives someone else a shot!"

"Not if you didn't give advance notice."

"Anyway!" He changed the subject to avoid feeling bad. "I wanna teach you to sand seal race!"

Zelda pictured herself trying to race. She pictured herself falling off her shield and going face-first into the sand. She pictured herself going face-second into the sand. She pictured herself going face-last into the sand. She pictured herself being eaten by a molduga. She pictured many scenarios, none of which were ideal.

"Um, not to be rude, and I appreciate the offer, but I am afraid."

Link's face took on a concerned expression. "Oh no! Why?"

"Well... I'm not exactly a sand seal racer."

"No, but you do have abs from all the sword fighting and rock climbing."

Zelda looked down at her stomach. "I suppose. But what does that have to do with anything?"

"Good core strength is all you need. And balance. And a seal. And a shield. And some hydromelon juice to keep cool."

"My core strength and vestibular abilities are adept," she admitted, "And I assume you have thought this through... alright, I'll do it!"

"Oh, really? Yay! Okay, go grab your shield and I'll get the rest. You okay with desert voe clothing?"

"I'd rather keep both my nipples covered."

"Makes sense. Okay, you can just use regular clothes and take cooling potion."

"That would be far preferable. I shall meet you outside when you are ready."

___________________________________________________________________________

Catching a sand seal was a matter entirely of its own. In Link's opinion, it was harder than the sand seal surfing itself.

This in mind, they decided to simply rent a sand seal in Gerudo town.

"What are they named?" Zelda asked the saleswoman (sealswoman?), Frelly.

"Rachel," Frelly replied.

"They're both named Rachel?"

"A good name for good girls. Be kind to them. I'll know if you aren't. Now sign these wavers, please."

They looked at the wavers. The terms seemed reasonable, so they signed them.

"Alrighty, then! Sav'orq!"

They led their sand seals outside the town to sit while Link explained to Zelda what to do. "It's a lot like shield surfing," he explained. "And you're great at that."

"Thank you."

"What you do is this—" He took out his shield and placed it beneath his feet. "Then approach the sand seal. Take her leash and tie it around your waist. Make sure you keep your feet planted firmly in the center."

Zelda followed his lead. "And now?"

"Now all you have to do is tell her to go, then act like you're shield surfing."

She nodded and took a deep breath. "Alright. Here I go."

"You got this!"

"Hyah!" She tugged gently on the leash. Rachel took off, soaring through the sand faster than any horse Zelda had ridden. "This is incredible!" She shouted over to Link. His seal had caught up to hers so they were riding next to each other.

"Sand seals always makes me think of Riju," he shouted back, "and Patricia! We should invite them seal racing sometime!"

"I agree wholeheartedly!"

"To speed up, just tug on the leash a little," he demonstrated his instructions as he spoke. "You're a natural!"

She tugged on the leash and was amazed to find that Rachel could go even faster. "We're so fast! This is my new favourite thing!"

___________________________________________________________________________

After a few hours of speeding around the desert, they decided to take a rest in the West Barrens, on some stairs that led to nowhere. The spot they chose was near-identical to many spots around them; pillars rose from the ground, connected to nothing, remnants of centuries long past. A tall statue next to them held a sword pointing to the distance. A korok floated on a pillar nearby, though not at the pillars near which they sat.

Link took out a large insulated thermos, two bowls, and two cups. He poured juice into all of them. One bowl of juice per seal, one cup of juice per Hylian.

They sat and chatted for little less than an hour when they were interrupted.

The ground began to rumble. Link shot up, spilling his juice on the sand. The sand absorbed the juice with haste, colouring it a darker brown before evaporating completely.

Zelda jumped up, too, though she did not spill her juice. "What is that?"

"I think," the ground rumbled again, "it's a molduga."

They scaled the pillars as quickly as possible. Zelda was beyond grateful for her climbing knowledge. "Oh, dear! This was exactly one of my fears!" Not that it was saying much, considering the quantity of her sand seal racing related fears. At least one was bound to come true, though it was more likely to be a less deadly one. She would have preferred falling into the sand and getting sand in her shoes. Uncomfortable, but not as dangerous. "And we can't just fast travel away! What about the sand seals?"

"Moldugas don't eat sand seals. Too fatty and trust me, the saddles taste awful. You ever drink that water polluted with melon rinds? Worse than that. So they're fine."

She looked down from the top of the pillar. "Where is it? I can't see its shape under the sand!"

Link groaned. "I was wrong. It's not a molduga."

Zelda looked where he was looking. There stood a Yiga blademaster, cracking his neck, his sword held in front of him in an obnoxious 'I'm coming for you' manner. He laughed a deep, malicious laugh.

Link jumped off the pillar and fired arrows in quick succession on his way down. The blademaster stumbled. Zelda whipped out the Sheikah slate and hit the stasis button, freezing the enemy in place. She leapt off the pillar and ran up to him. She and Link hit him with their swords until the stasis wore off, then jumped away.

The blademaster fell backwards, then teleported to a new spot behind them. He raised his windcleaver and sliced through the air, smashing it into the Earth. The ground rumbled and split, wind blowing up from the slice.

Zelda dodged while Link backflipped out of the way. They pulled their paragliders and rode the wind up. While in the air, Link once again assaulted the blademaster's face with arrows. Zelda came close to the ground then let go, slamming down her sword, creating a shockwave and beating the blademaster at his own game.

The blademaster stumbled for a final time. Apparently admitting defeat, he clutched his hands together and teleported away, leaving behind a bunch of bananas. Both Link and Zelda were a bit disappointed he didn't leave any rupees like a scout would have.

"Stupid Yiga clan," Link grumped. He perked up, "But we did a great job defeating him!"

Zelda ran over to the seals to make sure they weren't hurt. "They're unharmed. In fact, I think they enjoyed the show."

Link brought the bunch of bananas over to the seals. He split the bunch in half and tossed one part to each of them. They barked joyfully as they ate their treats. He hoped the Rachels would give them a good review.

"Let's head back to Gerudo town," Zelda said. She went to drink the last bit of her juice, but decided against it upon seeing it had been filled with sand during the fight. "I am exhausted."

They got on their shields and began their trip back to town. "Race you!" Link suggested.

"Challenge accepted!"

They sped through the desert, gliding past cacti and sleeping lizalfos at top speed. Occasionally one of them would shout out trash talk. Link's was far better, his voice less posh and his use of language more casual. It's hard to sound trash-talk-ey when you say, "I believe I'll beat you so devastatingly that you will never recover!" and your partner says, "Eat my dust!"

Halfway there, Link's Rachel stopped. Perhaps she didn't appreciate his trash talk, perhaps she got tired, or perhaps she was feeling like being a jerk.

Link flew off his shield and landed in the sand. He lay with his face in the sand and his rear in the air. One of his legs was twisted a way it really shouldn't have been. He groaned in pain.

Zelda raced over to him and jumped off her shield. She restrained herself from saying, "Who's eating dust now?" and instead said, "Are you alright? What happened?"

Link dragged himself up into a sitting position. He pointed to his Rachel. "She booted me off."

Zelda helped Link onto his feet and gave him some hearty elixir. His leg untwisted like magic. "Oh, gosh. Your legs looked awful. Thank goodness it's better now."

Link shook it. "Felt awful, too. Hope it doesn't happen again."

Zelda marched over to Link's Rachel. She shook her index finger at her and scolded, "This behaviour is unacceptable."

Rachel rolled her eyes.

"Don't you roll your eyes at me, young lady! If you do it again, you won't get any fruit treats when we get back to Gerudo town. Understood?"

Rachel considered this. She nodded and barked in a yes.

"Good. Now, you behave yourself please."

Link was impressed. "Wow. You really know how to talk to a mean seal."

"I have had practice."

"When?"

"Urbosa had a sand seal, remember?"

Link thought back, trying to uncover a memory he still didn't have. It was saddening to know he had lived a life he could only remember pieces of. Most of the pieces were back. All the most important ones, at least, and his memories of being a child. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't find some. He longed for these memories more than almost anything. He wished there was a way to bring them back. It was helpful, though only a little, that Zelda was able to remind him of things he had forgotten. Daruk's love of lizards, Mipha reading to Sidon every morning, Purah's old shoe size that they always made fun of (it was so tiny! Almost as tiny as it was now), Revali's secret stamp collection, Impa's secret Akkala bun recipe made purely of frogs and flour, and of course, Urbosa's sand seal.

Oh, how he longed to remember.

"I don't remember," Link admitted. "I... I wish I did."

"Oh," Zelda seemed disappointed. "I'm so sorry."

"Are you upset?"

"No!" she shook her head furiously, "Not at you, at least. I just wish... I wish you had your memories. For your sake."

Link nodded. "Me, too."

They boarded their sand seals and travelled back to town. They weren't racing anymore. It felt wrong to race after such an ordeal. Every so often, Link's Rachel started to speed up to knock Link over again, but Zelda went "No!" and she stopped acting out.

At Gerudo town, Link changed back into his vai clothes, and into the town they went.

They returned the seals immediately upon their return. The wavers specifically stated that they had to be back that day, and the sun was already starting to set.

"We're here to return Rachel and Rachel," Link said, handing their leashes over to Frelly.

"Thank you for returning them on time," she turned to the seals. "And how are you two doing?" She bent down and listened to the seals as they barked. She nodded along, then stood back up and spoke to Link and Zelda. "Rachel says you were very kind, but you were snippy with the other Rachel. Since Rachel is a cheeky one, I will allow it. She also says you gave them bananas, and she says thank you."

"You're quite welcome," Zelda said. She tossed them their promised rewards.

Frelly handed her two slips of paper. "Here. Coupons for 5% off your next rental."

"Ooooo! Thank you."

"No problem. Seal you later."