Sheikah clothes were designed to withstand the rain. Their wearers were always dry in them, and they never had soggy socks. Unfortunately, Enchanted didn't sell them, and neither Link nor Zelda felt comfortable asking to borrow someone's. Whoever they asked would have said yes, they were sure, but they felt it would be taking advantage. Besides, with all the battles they got into, there was no guarantee the clothes would even come back in one piece.

Right now, Zelda wished she had swallowed the discomfort and borrowed Sheikah clothing. She wished she hadn't left the house today. She wished her socks weren't soggy. She wished for many things. She didn't, however, wish for an umbrella. Normally she would have, but with the way the horses were acting, she would have been impaled.

"This was a mistake!" she cried, trying (and subsequently failing) to soothe Storm. Link and Epona weren't doing any better.

Link wasn't listening, but had he been, he would have agreed. Their trip to Lurelin had been going well up until now. They had left at seven in the morning and were set to arrive by eleven at night.

Until the rain. The rain was unlike any they had seen before, even in Faron and by Zora's domain. Link was planning to teach Zelda to rock climb somewhere along the way, wherever they found a good spot. It didn't seem like that was going to happen.

The icy rain lashed against their faces, soaking them to their bones. Zelda was shocked it wasn't snowing with how cold it was. She felt as if her eyelashes would soon grow icicles. The cold pain in her ears made her wonder not for the first time in her life if earwax could freeze, and if it could, what effects would that have on one's health long term. Would it cause the ear canal to expand? Was that how Hylians got such long ears?

It was bad enough before the horses started acting up. Storm, despite his name, had had enough of the storm. He was angry at his rider for subjecting him to this misery, as if she had planned the rain ahead of time specifically to make him suffer.

"Let's pull off the path! I know a cave around here. Give me a couple minutes to kill the monsters around it, then we can make a fire and everything."

"Yes, please!"

They pulled off the path and through the woods. She tied up the horses while Link got the monsters. She'd been helping him fight monsters often recently, but someone had to tie up Epona and Storm, and Zelda did not want to face silver bokoblins alone.

Link finally came out from behind the dome-shaped cave, monster dust on his sword. He waved her in. She tested the ropes, then when they were deemed sturdy, joined Link inside. The cave was bright and warm, a fire glowing in the corner. In another corner grew three clusters of gems, glinting in the light. There was water on the ground, in the middle of which stood a brownish-reddish korok. "Twee he he!" they chortled.

Zelda emptied the water from her boots and hung her socks and outer shirt by the fire. It was warm enough in the cave for her to do so without being uncomfortable. "I assume they will dry faster without me in it."

"Makes sense." Link took off his belts, then his tunic, shirt, socks, and pants. He reached down to take off his underwear, but stopped to think. "Hmmm... I should keep these on."

"No, no," she urged, "Do continue."

He considered doing so, then shook his head. "I'd feel underdressed. I'm going to go check on the horses."

The horses were calmer, though still irritated. The trees shielded them from the rain, and despite the water pooling beneath their hooves from their dripping manes, their bodies were dry. Link grabbed a brush from one of his underwear's many pockets and went to braid Epona's hair to keep it from dripping on her. He was quick, not wanting to make Storm wait long for his turn. Once he was done with their manes, he braided their tails. It took only 20 minutes or so, but he was sure it felt like forever to the horses.

Upon his return to the fire, Link discovered that Zelda had joined him in stripping down to her underwear. Both their clothes had dried completely and Zelda was getting dressed again. He put his clothes back on and went to start dinner.

"How are the horses?"

"They're good. Grumpy, but fine. How are you?"

"I'm exhausted. The horses must have been so, as well. I've never endured that sort of behaviour from them."

"Yeah. Last time Epona was like that was when there were bears nearby."

Zelda looked around nervously. "Do... you think there are bears nearby?"

He shook his head. "Don't think there are bears in West Necluda."

"What a relief. I was concerned. I know you have experience with bears, but I would prefer to never encounter one. I know I would be unable to pet it, and the emotional toll that would take on my soul would be most painful."

"Last time I rode a bear, I—"

"You rode a bear?"

"Yeah, and it got—"

"You say the oddest things so casually! I desire more information, please!"

"'K. It was midday. It was cloudy and about +55°F. I was in Akkala and I had just bought an ancient short sword from Cherry for 1,000 rupees to show a child named Nebb. I was walking back to Hateno when I took a shortcut through an unnamed forest.

Then a monster spotted me and told his buddies. So then a bunch of monsters were chasing me. I think there were seven; two silver moblins, one black moblin, a blue bokoblin, and an electric lizalfo. The black moblin had a great flameblade, one silver moblin had a spiked club, the blue bokoblin had a bow and arrows, and the lizalfo had a boomerang. I was wearing—"

"Why would that matter? Why do you remember so much? Just tell me about the bear."

"You said to give you more information. How was I supposed to know you meant about the bear?"

"From context!"

"Monsters were chasing me, and I whistled for Epona, but she was too far away to hear me, which was for the best because those monsters were vicious. Epona didn't come, the monsters were running fast, I was almost out of energy, and I had eaten all my energy bars. I was pretty desperate when I saw a bear! I grabbed it, mounted it, and rode it away."

Link finished and took a deep breath. He had run out of breath from talking so much so quickly.

"Wow. What an eventful day that was!"

He just nodded and started cooking dinner.

"Can you teach me how to ride a bear?"

He looked up with a startled look on his face. "What?"

"It sounds exhilarating!"

"Absolutely not." He went back to cooking, as if his answer was self explanatory.

Zelda resisted the urge to scrunch up her face into a pout. She crossed her arms. "And why not?"

He looked up again and waved his spatula about. Why he had brought a spatula in the first place, Zelda would never be sure. "Because it's dangerous! And because I barely know how! I only did it because I had to."

"You could have fast traveled away."

"Yeah, but I didn't think of it then, so I resorted to the bear. But it wasn't a smart choice, it was a choice of necessity."

"Please?" She wondered if she could wear him down. Was it ethical? No. Was it justified in her situation? Also, probably not, she thought. But she did it anyway. "Please?"

"No."

"Pleeeeease?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I just said."

"Pretty please?"

"I said no."

"Pretty pretty please?"

"The answer is no, no matter how pretty the please is."

"But you got to ride a bear and feel its adorable fluffy fur!"

"Yeah! And I almost died!"

"Well I don't see why I can't have that sort of reckless indulgence, too!"

"Indulgence?"

"Alright, it wasn't indulgent. But my point stands! Will you teach me?"

"How would I teach you if I don't even know how?"

"We'll go read a Wikipedia book, then learn it together."

Link sighed. He looked over to his love, so earnestly craving danger and thrill. Her eyes seemed to sparkle with excitement, but that was probably just the humidity in the cave.

"Fine. I'll teach you. But I need two weeks to get good at it before I put you in danger, okay?"

Zelda clapped her hands. "Hoorah! I can't wait."

"And! You have to promise to agree to some rules."

She squinted. "Hmmm. What kind of rules?"

"Bear riding rules," he sat down the spatula and began listing things on his fingers. "No trying to pet it, no feeding it, no trying to play with its toe beans, no trying to get it to do tricks, and absolutely no kissing its nose. And no naming it, because then you get attached to it, and stables don't register bears. I learned that the hard way."

She considered the pros and cons. "Alright, I agree. But, what if the name is a fabulous pun?"

"Especially not then."

"What about 'Bar-bear-ian'?"

Link snorted, then got the stern look on his face back. "Especially not that. The better the name, the harder it is to let them go. I learned that with Blue Beary."

Zelda snorted, too. "Then let's give it a bad name! Like Pat."

"Why Pat?"

"Because it's a bad name."

"How about Malcom?"

"How about Pat-com?"

"How about Mal-Pat?"

"Mal-Pat it is!"

"Wait! No, I lost ahold of myself. No naming it, remember?"

Zelda slumped down in a huff. "Alright, alright. But I will be forever thinking of bear puns because of this."

"Fine. As long as you tell them to me when they come to you."

She got some carrots and went to feed the horses. "No paw-mises."

He rolled his eyes. "You're im-paw-sible."

____________________________________

Zelda hadn't forgotten the agreement a month later, mostly because she had been regaling Link with bear puns the whole time. Honestly, she was starting to find them difficult to come up with.

Link fulfilled his promise a month later, coming to her while she was practicing the harp and trying to think up more puns.

"Okay," he started, speaking as if they had already been having a conversation a moment prior, and he was just continuing it. "So, I found some bears. I've been practicing riding them, and I think I'm good enough to teach you."

She all but threw her harp into its case. "Splendid! Let's go!"

"Wait! You have to rehearse back to me the rules, so I can know you remember them and won't get mauled."

She groaned. "Uugghhh. Okay, fine. No petting the bear, no naming the bear, no kissing the bear, no playing with its toes, and no making it do tricks."

Link smiled. "Good. I trust you."

'Doesn't seem like it,' she thought.

"It's just a really dangerous thing," he continued, as if he was sensing what she was thinking. "And once you start, there's no way out."

"I understand, but I also understand the risks, and I'm willing to try despite them."

"So, to ride the bear, you have to get behind it. The best way to do that is with stealth elixir. Then, once you're behind the bear, you mount it."

"Like with a horse?"

"Exactly! Then you soothe it like a horse. Then you ride it wherever you need to go."

"Goodness! It sounds so exhilarating! I'm ready to go!

They fast traveled to a forest in the Akkala highlands, where Link had placed the teleportation circle. "I've been practicing here a lot. New bears come all the time, so there's always one or two hanging around," he explained.

The sudden sound of a branch snapping came from behind them. They turned so quickly their bodies made similar noises. Standing there on its back legs was a spectacularly large honeyvore bear. As they stared at it, it stared straight back at them.

"Go mount it from behind," Link whispered. "I'll distract it." He dropped a beehive full of honey. The bear lunged at it.

Zelda took off running toward it. She circled around while it was going toward the honey, then swiftly mounted it from behind. It roared and began to flail around, trying to rid itself of its new rider. Zelda remembered the instructions and soothed the bear. It calmed down far more quickly than she had anticipated, which was a pleasant surprise.

'Gosh,' she thought, 'its fur is just as soft as I imagined... if I hadn't promised not to name it, I would name it Clementine. Or Fluffy.'

"This is incredible! I can't believe I've never done this!"

"I can't believe I survived doing it multiple times."

"What do I do now?"

"Now you just ride it around like a horse. Where do you want to go?"

"Hmmm. How about we just ride around the forest for a while? I don't wish to frighten any passers by."

The bear trotted around, far tamer than any Link had ever ridden. "Sounds good. Hey, I think it likes you."

"I shall obey the rules and not name it. However, I shall call it Fluffy."

"That's naming it!"

"I have submitted no naming paperwork."

"Oh my— seriously? The most important rule?"

"That's how it is sometimes," she joked. Link snorted in response, half laughter, half frustration.

Zelda gently nudged the side of Fluffy to get them to speed up, the way she would a horse. Fluffy did not like being treated like a horse. It stood up and roared, knocking Zelda onto the ground. "Aaaa! Why?"

"Bad! Fluffy, bad!" Link yelled, "That's the opposite of what you're supposed to do!"

But Fluffy, feeling difficult (and also being a bear), could not be reasoned with. With another roar, it took of running into the forest, darting out of sight.

"I guess technically that's speeding up. Are you alright?" Link helped Zelda up.

She brushed herself off. "I'm okay. Let me just get my... bearings."