❝We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorns have roses.❞

Alphonse Karr

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"And as this will be the last presidential election in which you do not cast a ballot, I want this classroom to be an open forum to discuss the issues which most concern your lives," Mr. Feeny strolled over to Shawn's desk, "Mr. Hunter, what issue most concerns your life?"

"The issue that Elena won't be my girlfriend-" Shawn paused and a dreamy smile grew on his face, "Wait. She is. Elena Martinez is my girlfriend! How am I doin'?"

"Boffo, Mr. Hunter," He sighed, "But I do congratulate you on your budding relationship with Miss Martinez. Word of advice, do not hurt her. Lydia has a machete she is very... eager to use."

"Yeah, she almost took my head off with it when she found out I'm the reason Elena has blue hair," Cory sighed as he rubbed his neck in fear before he raised his hand.

"That was a fun day," Elena nodded with a warm smile.

"Yeah, for you maybe!" Cory huffed as he narrowed his eyes at her, his hand still raised.

Mr. Feeny paused, wondering if he was seeing things before reluctantly calling on him. "Mr. Matthews?"

"Yes," He smiled, "Actually, there is a pressing social matter which I feel equipped to discuss with confidence and alacrity."

Mr. Feeny was stunned but smiled soon. "Oh, well, then you have the floor, Mr. Matthews."

Cory frowned and shook his head. "Nah, that used me up."

"Miss Martinez?" Mr. Feeny asked pleadingly.

"A pressing issue in my life?" She repeated as she took a moment to think, "Ooh, I know! My boyfriend is too tall for me to kiss him if I'm not wearing heels. What should I do?"

"Punch him in the stomach, and when he keels over in pain, kiss him," Someone suggested.

"Tackle him," Cory turned to her as though it was the obvious answer.

"Kick him the shins," Topanga suggested casually, as though that was a normal thing to do.

"Dump him," Ronnie Waterman smiled charmingly, "And date me instead."

"You're taller than Shawn," Elena reminded him with furrowed brows.

"So?" He shrugged nonchalantly.

"No!" Shawn silenced the class with his shriek, "No to all of those! Just ask me to lean down!"

Elena paused for a moment before she frowned and nodded to Cory and Topanga. "But their suggestions are more fun."

"Cool. So what time should I pick you up?" Ronnie asked immediately.

"Never," Shawn and Elena immediately snapped in unison.

Mr. Feeny had been watching the exchange in disbelief as he pinched the bridge of his nose tiredly. "Save us, Ms. Lawrence," He begged.

"Well, first of all, I'd just like to say that I think Cory's really cute for trying."

"Oh, thank you, sugar," Cory grinned at her shyly.

"And that I think the biggest crisis facing this country is the breakdown of the American family."

Shawn huffed and narrowed his eyes at her. "Oh, you always gotta go after Shawn."

"Shawnie," Elena sighed as she turned to him, "She doesn't mean you."

"Oh, I know what she means," He grumbled angrily.

"Shawn, you barely know what anyone means. Ever," She reminded him slowly before she shrugged casually, "Besides, I'm part of the breakdown of the American family too."

"Oh, great!" Shawn snapped, "It's one thing to go after me but you? That is just too far! And I will not stand for this because you deserve better."

"Huh, I made things worse by trying to make things better," Elena narrated tiredly as she patted Cory's shoulder, "Now I know how you feel, Cor."

"Well, I just think that lots of other issues, like crime and the decline in education-"

"Hey, hey, lay off me," Shawn cut her off pointedly.

"-All have to do with how we're brought up in our homes," Topanga finished, ignoring him.

Mr. Feeny nodded at the interesting point. "Well, now, I agree with you, Miss Lawrence."

"That's it," Shawn snapped and stood up, grabbing Elena's school bag and her books in one hand and grasping her own hand with the other.

He gently pulled her up from her seat before he started stomping towards the door.

"Mr. Hunter!" Mr. Feeny called sternly as he stared at him in shock.

Shawn paused at the door, and simply pointed to the clock just as the bell rang.

"Oh, that's it," Mr. Feeny huffed in exasperation as everyone else began to pack their things.

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"Listen, Billy, your parents have entrusted me with your care, and I am obligated to follow the rules as they have clearly laid out," Topanga said sternly as Cory imitated her mockingly behind her back. He didn't count on Topanga having a sixth sense for that. "And what were you doing?"

Cory's eyes widened in fear at getting caught and he stuttered out. "I...love you?"

Topanga was babysitting Billy and per Shawn's expert advice Cory had decided to join her. In Shawn's words, it would just be Cory, his girlfriend, in a stranger's house, no interruptions, alone on a couch. But, turns out Billy still hadn't gone to bed.

Topanga rolled her eyes before she turned back to Billy. "Get to bed right now."

"Can't I watch TV?" Billy begged as he looked at Cory, knowing the boy would break.

"Sure," Cory nodded immediately.

"No," Topanga snapped and hit Cory's leg irritatedly, "Cory!"

"No," Cory corrected quickly, "Billy, what were you thinking?"

"I told you they'd be fighting by now!" A voice laughed from behind them.

Topanga and Cory jumped in shock and spun around to find Shawn and Elena laughing at them.

"Peaches!" Topanga breathed out a sigh of relief.

"Hurtful," Cory grumbled with a frown, "I didn't get a warm welcome like that."

"That's because I'm me and you're you," Elena teased him as she dropped down onto the couch.

"No shoes on the coffee table," Topanga pushed her legs down, "But I love those boots!"

"Thanks," Elena grinned down at her designer heeled leather boots, "These were the one good thing my mom ever did for me."

Elena had slowly been getting over everything that happened with her mother. Although, maybe not in the healthiest of ways because it just translated into voicing out her hurt feelings in sarcastic jabs. But it was somewhat of an improvement from simply bottling everything inside and pretending like everything was picture perfect at home.

"What are you guys doing here, anyway?" Cory asked with furrowed brows.

"After I told Elena about you coming over here she bet me that you two would get into a fight before an hour was up," Shawn explained casually as he joined Elena on the couch, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her closer to him.

"And I won," She cheered and smiled at Cory, "Thank you for being predictably irritating."

"Oh, you're welcome," Cory returned her smile earnestly.

"So, you're not here to help me out with babysitting?" Topanga frowned.

"Nope. Why do you think I brought popcorn?" Elena shook her head as she held up the bucket of popcorn she'd been snaking on, "But imagine what a good friend I'd be if that was the reason."

"Shouldn't you be saying that to yourself?" Topanga teased with a raised brow.

"Hey, I don't see any other girls chopping their hair off in solidarity with you."

"Fair point," Topanga nodded, "So, how did you get in?"

"Shawn taught me how to pick a lock," Elena shrugged casually, "It was weird. I think that was the first time I ever learned something from him instead of the other way around."

"So, what'd you bet on?" Cory asked them, assuming it would be something embarrassing and therefore funny for him to be witness to.

Elena and Shawn smiled widely before Elena jutted out her cheek towards her boyfriend and he gave her a quick peck.

"Love has made you weak," Cory spat as he gave Shawn and Elena disgusted looks.

"Hey!" Shawn snapped as he immediately covered Elena's ears, "What the hell are you doing, man?! I barely get the girl of my dreams and you're already ruining this!"

"W-what?" He asked in confusion, "How-how'd I do that?"

"She's still a flight risk about that word!" Shawn reminded him pointedly, "You remember how she was when she thought River was going to say that to her. I'm not taking any chances here."

Before they could say anything else, Billy, who they'd all forgotten about, finally spoke up.

"So does this mean I can stay up?"

"No!" Topanga snapped as she turned to him in exasperation.

"But it's the Friday night lineup," He whined.

"Oh, the Friday night lineup," Cory, Shawn, and Elena grinned.

"Elena!" Topanga huffed as she stared at her in disbelief.

"What?" She threw her hands up in her defense, "I made my intentions very clear that I was not here to help babysit."

Topanga rolled her eyes and breathed out heavily. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Topanga, we talked about this before," Cory sighed, "The Friday night lineup, it's only the best show on TV. I mean, you walk into school Monday morning, and you didn't see the Friday night lineup, forget it. You got nothing to say."

"Don't take that away from me," Billy begged her desperately.

"I cannot believe you are undermining my authority. I am this child's babysitter, and I take my responsibilities very seriously," Billy took a page out of Cory's book and was mocking Topanga behind her back but she figured him out too, "What were you doing?"

"I love you?" Billy copied Cory's failed attempt at escaping her wrath.

"Ha," Cory laughed and pointed to Billy proudly, "Nice."

Topanga spun around and stared at him in shock. "What, you think this is funny?"

"No, Mistress Topanga," Cory shook his head vehemently, "I think it's the opposite of funny. I think it's...wood."

"At least let me watch my favorite show," Billy tried his luck, "It's on right now."

"But it's 9:30," Topanga reminded him sharply, "I know you don't stay up past 9:00."

"It used to be on at 8:30, but this year, they moved it to 9:30. Those idiots," He scoffed.

"Hold on," Shawn's jaw dropped, "They moved that show to 9:30. Why?"

"No one knows!" Billy huffed exasperatedly.

"Well, was it doing badly at 8:30?" Elena asked with a frown, also invested in this.

"No."

"Why didn't they leave it alone?" Cory complained with furrowed brows.

"They're trying to kill it," Billy cried, "They're trying to kill it."

Shawn placed a hand on Billy's shoulders comfortingly. "Those are bad, bad people, little man."

Topanga had been watching the exchange with rage bubbling inside her.

"Cory, we have to have a little talk," She bit out, her face pinched in obvious anger.

"Right after the show, Topanga," He brushed her off carelessly.

"Give me the remote!" Billy demanded with a whine as he hopped trying to reach the remote Elena was waving above her head.

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't set you on fire," She countered dryly.

"Elena, you cannot set a boy on fire!" Topanga gasped as she stared at her in disbelief.

"Sure, I can," She shrugged nonchalantly, "It's not impossible, pretty easy actually. I'd just have to be willing to go to jail after it but this is not the boy that's going to make me do that."

"Elena!" Topanga warned with wide eyes.

"What?" She rolled her eyes, "Apart from Morgan, I don't like kids."

"Can I please just watch my show?!" Billy huffed, cutting them off.

"There will be no show," Topanga narrowed her eyes at him, "Get to bed."

"Well, that was nicely done. Now it's just you and me on a cozy couch. Well, once we kick out those two," Cory chuckled as he nodded to the couple cuddling on the couch.

"Nope," Topanga shook her head, "You're going home."

"Well, then it's just you and those two," Cory frowned.

"Fine, then you can have Shawn," With that, Topanga ripped Shawn away from Elena and pushed him towards his best friend.

"Hey, hey, hey," Shawn complained, "I liked the company better over there."

"Hurtful," Cory whined with a frown before he turned to his girlfriend, "Well now it's just you and Elena. What fun could that be?"

"Hey, I'm a lot more fun than you," Elena snapped with a scoff.

"You have no idea what this is about, do you?" Topanga sighed as she frowned at Cory.

"Yeah, I do," He nodded earnestly, "And it happens to be a very important issue, not just to me and you, but to all men and women in relationships, both here and abroad."

Topanga gave him an unimpressed look. "Cory, you have no idea what this is about, do you?"

"Come on, Topanga, do I ever?" He sighed deeply.

Before they could say anything else, Billy ran back into the living room excitedly.

"Hey, Cory, you're missing a real funny one," Billy grabbed Cory's arm and dragged him with him, "The really curly-headed kid keeps on digging himself in deeper and deeper."

"Oh, I love that kid," Cory grinned as he pulled Shawn with him, "He is such a doof."

"Yeah, y'know he always reminded me of someone but I can never place who," Elena shrugged as she thought about it again to no avail.

"I always liked the Latina," Shawn smiled, "Did you see last week's episode? The doof with the curly hair accidentally dyed her hair pink."

"The curly-haired kid's older brother is my favorite," Elena sighed dreamily, "He's really cute."

At that, Shawn's smile dropped and he pouted. "I'm cute."

"Yeah but he has that whole older guy thing going for him," She teased him.

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"Topanga, the lunch bell sounded and I thought maybe you and I could get a bite to eat at this charming little place I know called The Cafeteria," Cory smiled brightly at his girlfriend.

Topanga gave him a blank look as she shut her locker. "What would be the point, Cory?"

"Food," Elena answered immediately, "Food is always a good idea, Toppy."

Cory, noticing the hostility in Topanga's eyes, stepped back. "Well, first, I'm gonna take a step back, and then I'm gonna tell you. There are three points; I'm hungry, you're my girlfriend, and it's Taco Bar Tuesday."

"Ooh, Taco Bar Tuesday!" Elena grinned excitedly, her lighting up.

"I already saved you a seat," Cory reassured her, matching her grin.

"Good Cory!" Elena cheered as she threw him a piece of candy.

"Ooh, goodie!"

Topanga rolled her eyes at the two and huffed. "You would feed tacos to our child, Cory?"

"Our wha-" Cory almost spit out his candy from the shock, "You and I are gonna have a ch- Wait a minute. We've only kissed. I mean, I always knew I was a good kisser, but, wow."

"Our future child. The one we'd have if we got married," She snapped heatedly.

"Oh, that kid. Would I feed him tacos? Yeah. Four for 99 cents. He's gonna be taco crazy."

"What if you have a girl first?" Elena wondered and grinned, "Ooh, you should name her Elena!"

"You know I always liked Jennifer," Cory commented.

"What, after Zathrak the Undead?" Elena scoffed and bristled at the memory of Jennifer Bassett.

"Oh, yeah, right. Well, then what would you name our unborn daughter?"

"I already told you; Elena," She huffed before she shrugged, "But if you were to have two daughters then I don't know maybe Riley or something?"

"Ooh, I like Riley!" Cory grinned as he clapped his hands.

Topanga clicked her tongue irritatedly. "Cory! You're not getting that I'm really upset with you."

"Oh, no, my precious peach. I had that right away."

She arched a brow as she crossed her arms. "Do you know why I'm upset with you?"

"Yes. Me, something I've done or haven't done or did do, but didn't do properly. Now, with that said, taco," He whined as he grabbed her hand but she ripped it away from him.

"You let Billy stay up last Friday night," She finally burst out, "You'd rather be pals with our kids than a strong, responsible role model."

"If I may, Warden Topanga, we don't have any kids," Cory reminded her exasperatedly.

"And we're not gonna," She narrowed her eyes at him, "You know why?"

"'Cause all you do is just kiss and biology doesn't work that way?" Elena suggested, trying to break the tension between the two before things escalated even more.

"Because I believe a family falls apart if there are not strong, authoritative role models at home."

"Hey, anyone want a slushie to cool down?" Elena asked frantically as she opened up her locker and started the slushie machine she'd managed to fit in there, "I got all the flavors," She sang.

"Topanga, it wasn't our home. It wasn't our kid. Now, I'm sure what you're saying, but I'm really hungry right now, and all I want's a little taco," Cory huffed as he started getting annoyed.

"Well, if that taco is more important to you than our child, then this family has dysfunction written all over it," Topanga snapped before turning on her heel and storming off.

Before Cory could even try to call after her, Shawn strolled over to them with a handful of tacos.

"Hey, Cory, taco?" He offered his best friend a taco.

Cory shook his head slowly, clearly still reeling from his fight with Topanga. "I don't think I'm supposed to have one... Hey, Shawn, would you ever feed your and Elena's kids tacos?"

Elena answered for him. "Of course he's not."

Cory turned to her with his jaw dropped. "So you agree with Topanga."

"No," She laughed, "Shawn's never feeding our kid's tacos because we're never having kids."

Shawn's head snapped to her in shock. "Well, hey, you never know. We might have kids."

"Sweetie, we are never having kids. Shoes are my kids. Let me be the mother I was meant to be."

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"How are you doing, pumpkin?" Elena cooed as Topanga rested her head on her shoulder dejectedly, "Still angry about the taco crazy kids you're going to have?"

"Why is he like he is, peaches?" Topanga complained, her voice tired.

"Well, the reason you like him is because he is like he is," She reminded her softly.

"Yeah, I know," Topanga smiled fondly at the thought of her goofy boyfriend.

Before the two could continue to discuss their respective boyfriends, they were cut off by a surprise visitor.

"Abuelita?" Elena's brows furrowed when she saw Lydia walk past them, "What are you doing here?"

Lydia turned and grinned warmly at her. "Ah, Elena, how are you mija? Well, you can't be doing well, I saw the food they serve in the cafeteria! That is not good enough for my granddaughter!"

"It's okay," Elena chuckled with a shrug, "So, why are you here again?"

"Oh, yes," She smiled, "George invited me to have tea with him in his office. Look, there he is."

Elena and Topanga watched her walk towards Mr. Feeny, who was smiling brightly at her before they shared a look.

"I've got a million questions and I don't want to ask any of them."

"Good because I don't have any answers."

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〚𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄〛

I hope you guys liked this chapter, please let me know what you thought! I wanted to do something different with it rather than have Elena babysit and Shawn crashing it. I hope you guys are enjoying season 4 so far. The next chapter is one of my favorite episodes, Janitor Dad, what do you guys think is going to happen or what do you want to see happen?

Thank you so much to everyone who's been commenting, reading your comments really makes my day and motivates me to update more. Please don't forget to vote and comment, comment, comment!

Cue shameless self-promo; if you haven't already please check out my other books!

Have a great day and stay safe ♥♥