Chapter 8: Brown

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Rose wakes up with the sun shining kindly in her face and a light snoring tickling her ear. Feeling herself warming up by the radiant beams, her consciousness slowly returns. She begins to realize there is another object nearby that makes her regain the warmth, she had so vehemently sought the night before.

The object is half covering her with a pressing weight that, surprisingly, is very comfortable. Not quite registering yet, what the source of her comfort is, she feels thoroughly at ease. Except for the snoring in her ear.

She tries to stretch her arms in order to get rid of the cramp that you get when you lie in one position for a long time, but she finds herself unable to do so. On closer examination, fighting trough the cobwebs still present in her head, she finds that one arm is used as a pillow for the source of the snoring.

Trying to focus, she recognises the pointy nose that produces the soft grunting sound. Her eyes trace the lines of the face so close beside her, and she reaches a closed eye, half covered by a tuft of brown wavy hair.

Rose smiles, until the cobweb finally dissipates and she finds out why her other arm won't move either.

There is a Time Lord wrapped around her.

Suddenly Rose understands how it is possible that she has fallen asleep at all, remembering the freezing cold of the previous night. She also remembers the burning heat a few mere words had produced before she had unexpectedly managed to find sleep. Struggling to slow down the beating of her heart, she seeks a tree to focus on.

Letting her mind roam all the possibilities of what could happen when he wakes up, is not a very good idea right now.

It doesn't work, especially not when she feels his bare leg move against hers, his knee very close to a part of her that begs to be toughed. Her breath hitches and she does not dare to look when the snoring stops, a hairy arm is removed and the Doctor stretches, thus removing his weight of her. Rose feels the loss like a rip at her heart and she swallows nervously.

“G'morning Rose,” the Doctor softly whispers. She cannot look at him.

“Rose?” He sounds a little worried, when she won't reply and moves to rest on his arm so he can look at her face.

Her cheeks are burning, there is nothing she can do to hide that fact from his prying eyes.

“You okay?”

She nods, unable to utter a word.

“Did you sleep?”

Another nod.

“Rose, what's wrong?”

Forcing herself to regain some composure and answer him, Rose sits up, groaning a little when her soar muscles bend.

“I'm fine, I fell asleep, after... Well, I did, finally. You did too.” She counters, still not looking at him.

“Yes, I did, didn't expect me too. Slept rather nicely, very cosy.”

There is a grin in his voice that makes Rose finally look up at his face. The cheekiness that is usually there, is softened by the dishevelled form of his hair and unguarded look in his warm brown eyes. Rose finds herself wishing she can wake up with that gaze upon her every day for the rest of her live.

“Rose?”

She doesn't think she's ever heard him say her name so gentle, almost lovingly. His eyes speak to her and the cobwebs return. Nothing else exists outside the little cocoon where there is only room for her and him. Acting on nothing but impulse, Rose bends forward until her lips tough his.

Ever so lightly, just a mere brush.

For one single heartbeat time freezes. Eyes shutter, silence falls and for just that single moment, the universe is at peace.

The Doctor feels how she takes him with her inside this magical moment and unable to resist he lets his guard down.

Without opening her eyes, Rose suddenly sees and hears a whole new world. She stands, all alone, in a field of fiery red grass, hills roll out in front of her, leading up to mountains with snow covered peaks, hidden by clouds in an orange sky. She should be terrified but she is not.

At the edges of her vision Rose perceives trouble. Dark storms rage, held back only by fences of wafer-thin iron. She turns, eager to break the fences and fight the storm, but she is stopped.

An arm pulls her the other way, pulls her against this tall, slim figure that binds her to him like she is the only thing keeping him safe.

She looks up, reaches for his temples, but fear appears in his eyes and he lets go of her. He steps back and releases his telepathic hold on her.

With a feeling of having been thrown of a cliff, Rose tumbles back in shock and her eyes fly open. The look of utter bewilderment in his eyes stops her from turning away. Instead she wraps him in her arms, like she has unconsciously done very early that morning.

“I'm sorry, I'm so sorry,” she mutters against his hair.

“I shouldn't have done that, I'm sorry.”

After a few minutes of regaining some form of balance, he finally speaks: “No. Don't... don't apologize. If there is need for an apology, let it be mine. I shouldn't have... I let my guard down, pulled you in. I could have...”

Rose leans back gently. Nudging his chin up a little with her finger she smiles at him.

“Doctor, there is nothing you could have shown me, that I do not wish to see. If you would let me, I would bear everything with you.”

He looks at her, unable to accept those words to be true, yet seeing in her eyes, fully open to him now, what he has denied himself to see for so long.

With his throat hoarse and his voice a bit shaky he responds: “Perhaps... one day.” He swallows and averts his eyes.

He stands up, takes a deep breath and then turns to her. The moment is gone, but Rose doesn't feel upset. She sees in his eyes a new vulnerability that she knows he must get used to. It has been so very long since anyone shared a piece of his mind like that, she understands completely that this is not something to be dealt with in haste.

She also sees he closes this chapter, leaving the door slightly ajar. Therefore she smiles and grabs the hand he extends. They will continue like they always do, each day a little step closer to whatever it is they are heading for. Right now they hope to be heading for a means to open the TARDIS and with that set in mind, they pack up the blanket and start walking.

They walk in silence, both for now unable to voice the raw emotions that surfaced during the early hours of this worlds day.

Rose visualises the images her minds eye has seen over and over again, making a memory that she hopes will never disappear. She knows what it is she saw. He has never spoken about it, but thoughts cannot be fabricated. His emotions about his home world are still so strong, she feels them like they are her own.

The darkness that borders that wonderful land that was once Gallifrey is what worries her. In a sideways glance she sees a frown in his brow and she wishes she could have held on to that moment a bit longer. Why did she even reach for his temples? It was an act she thinks came from memory, but not her memory. She will ask him when they get back inside the TARDIS. With all her heart she hopes they will find a solution soon, cause no matter how much she enjoyed their sleeping arrangements, something tells her the Doctor won't be as clingy again without the comfort of his beloved ship.

They find some fruits and eat, still having said not one word. Rose begins to feel a bit uncomfortable and just when she decides to make an airy remark, they are met by a young girl.

The girl, a child still, folds her arms and bows gracefully, not a sign of surprise is visible on her face. The Doctor instantly brightens and quickly copies the greeting. Rose follows suit.

After this, the girl beckons them to follow her and much to her surprise, Rose realizes the girl takes them back the way they came from. Shaking her head and opening her mouth to voice an objection, two long fingers suddenly hush her as the Doctor silently bids her to remain quiet.

The intimate gesture brings a deep blush to her cheeks, that doesn't go unnoticed by the Doctor. Seeing it, he softly smiles. He doesn't offer an explanation. Instead he pulls her with him without saying a word and Rose figures there is nothing other to do, but to follow.

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