why this might be goodbye
a quick message

hello! i just wanted to start this off by saying a couple things. firstly, i'm not doing this for attention. i, truthfully, wouldn't care if no one really saw this. i'm simply putting this out there for people to see if they're wondering about what's going on with me. secondly, this might all be me going through another one of my dramatic spirts. i have no idea. i don't know if i'll ever truly leave wattpad, but the rest will kind of explain what all is going on?

now, i love everything i do on here. i love making characters. i love talking to people. i love making friends. however, i haven't felt the same energy on here as i used to. i spend a lot of time dwelling on how i'm not worth anyone replying to or how no one is interested in me. it keeps me in a not-so-good mental state and it prevents me from replying a lot of the time.

secondly, i've been stuck with this feeling that no one truly likes me on here. i'm just a backup. i don't have good characters. i'm not normal enough to make the relationships with people on here that others seem to. i'm not saying i don't have great friendships, but i've sort of been distancing myself because i feel as though i'm ten times more into the friendship than the other person is? the same kind of goes for roleplay. i feel as though i'm the one onto it, like i'm the only one who cares. i have a busy schedule. i'm moving in with my boyfriend in may. i'm in one of the most rigorous university programs that there is. i work three jobs regularly and travel a lot. on top of this, i have really sucky health. making time for people is hard and when no one seems to care about me replying and says "oh no one is on and replying to me" or attempt to reassure me that they care and are interested, but make more time for someone else — long story short, i'm just hurt by a lot of the things on here and need distance. i'm keeping in touch with very few people. i've even unfollowed/unfriended people who've made me feel this way in real life as well as online. i'm sorry if i hurt anyone and if you want to talk it out, i'll try my best to check in. for now, i'll be on a separate account occasionally and will be checking this one very sparsely.

thank you for the understanding and i love you all,
lana ❣