Disclaimer: The following is a non-profit fan based fanfiction. Hyperdimension Neptunia is owned by Tsunako, Idea Factory, Felistella, and Compile Heart.

Original Joke is owned by Brian Regan.

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Stupid in School by Brian Regan

Neptune: I don't know. I'd be a lot better off it I'd studied more when I was growin' up, you know? But you know, the day it all went wrong was the day they had the Spelling Bee. 'Cause up until that day, I was an idiot, but nobody else knew, you know? The day they started the spelling bee...

Histoire: Alright everyone, up against the wall. It's time for Public Humiliation.

Neptune: Spell a word wrong, sit down in front of your friends. Yeah, that's great for little egos.

Neptune: Hey, look at me I'm a moron! I wasn't even close! I was using numbers and stuff!

Neptune: That's why I admired that kid, who spelled her word wrong on purpose just so she could sit down. I mean, she knew she wasn't going to win, so why stand there for three hours? First round: Cat.

Noire: Cat. K-A-T. I'm outta here.

Neptune: Then as she passed me...

Noire: Heh heh, I know there's two 'T's.

Neptune: I remember my instructor asking me,

Histoire: Neptune, what's the "I before E Rule"?

Neptune: (wide-eyed as he sinks in his seat) Uhm...uh...um... I before E...always?

Histoire: What, are you an idiot, Neptune?

Neptune: Well, apparently. So she explains it.

Histoire: No Zack, it's I before E, except after C, and when sounding like 'A' as in 'neighbor' and 'weigh,' and on weekends and holidays and all throughout May, and you'll always be wrong, no matter WHAT YOU SAY!

Neptune: (even lower in his seat) That's a hard rule... That's a...that's a rough rule... Plurals were hard, too.

Histoire: Neptune, how do you make a word a plural?

Neptune: (put on the spot again) Y-You put a S. Y-You put a S at the end of it.

Histoire: When?

Neptune: (nervous sigh) ...On weekends and holidays and...

Histoire: (shakes head) No, Neptune, let me show you.

Neptune: Just so happened that Blanc was... I guess you could say, observing the class, and my instructor decided to ask her:

Histoire: Blanc, what is the plural for 'ox'?

Blanc: Oxen. The farmer used his oxen to plow the fields.

Histoire: (back to Neptune) Neptune?

Neptune: What? (nervously)

Histoire: Neptune, what is the plural for 'box'?

Neptune: (perfectly straight face and monotone voice) Boxen. I bought two boxen of doughnuts.

Histoire: No, Zack, no. Let's try another one. (to Blanc) Blanc, what is the plural for 'goose'?

Blanc: Geese. I saw a flock... of geese.

Histoire: Zack?

Neptune: What? (still nervously)

Histoire: Neptune, what is the plural for MOOSE?

Neptune: (slowly stands, then yells) MOOSEN! I SAW A FLOCK OF MOOSEN! THERE WERE MANY OF THEM! MANY MUCH MOOSEN! OUT IN THE WOODS, IN THE WOODES, IN THE WOODSEN! THE MEESE WANTS THE FOOD, FOOD IS TO EATNESN! THE MEESE WANT THE FOOD IN THE WOODENESN...AND THE FOOD IN THE WOODENESN!

Histoire: Neptune, Neptune! (Neptune looks at her) You're an imbecile.

Neptune: (pauses, then shoots her fist into the air) IMBECILEN!

Histoire: What, are you speaking German, Neptune?

Neptune: German, GERMAIN! Germain, germain, JACKSON! JACKSON VON TITO!

Histoire: Neptune, what the hell are you talking about?

Neptune: I dunno. (scratches head) I dunno really. ... I think the worst day of them all was the day the Science Fair Project was due. Waking up that morning, that was fun, huh? Yeah. Your head'd pop off your pillow... (light voice, big, Bambi eyes) Oh no... It's due today. I had nine months to work on it, and did nothing. ... I have a cardboard box. (smiles) A boxen. ... So, you'd show up, you're scared, cause you don't have anything good, and then, you find out: All the other kids, their parents made theirs for them. I hated that, you know? They're backing them in on flatbed trucks... One kid with a volcano doesn't know when to stop sleeping, yet she built a volcano. ...Geez, Plutia, how'd you swing that? (shakes head) I didn't know what to do for my project, so I just brought in a paper cup, filled with dirt...hoping they would know I was an idiot and just walk right on by. But since I was holding something...

IF: (looks over and grins) What do you have there, Nep?

Neptune: (bows head) It's a cup of dirt. Just put an 'F' on there and let me go home. (holds it out to IF)

IF: Well, explain it.

Zack: (looks up, a perpetually sad look on his face) Well, it's a cup... (points to cup) with dirt in it. (points to the dirt inside) I call it: Cup of Dirt. ... You should just move on now, should just...head on down the line there. So, he goes to this kid-I remember there was this one kid in my class who kept making the same solar system like what...19 years in a row? A bunch of styrofoam balls held together with coat hangers. Yeah, you're breaking some new ground there, Copernicus. He's goin:

Rei: The big yellow one's the sun! The yellow one is the sun!

IF: Okay, what are these other planets?

Rei: The big yellow one is the sun!

IF: All right, calm down-

Rei: The one-

IF: ALL RIGHT!

END

Cast:

Neptune/Purple Heart: Brian Regan

Histoire: Teacher

IF: Teacher at Science Fair

Noire/Black Heart: Kid who misspelled "Cat" on purpose.

Blanc/White Heart: Erwin

Plutia/Iris Heart: Kid with Volcano

Rei Ryghts: Kid with Solar System project

A/N: So, did you guys enjoy this? If not tell me what you didn't like and if you did enjoy this, please tell me what you really did like! It all helps, so please and thank you for your reviews and criticism, it really helps, believe it or not!