045: Only Myndee matters

She awoke at 3am. The halls were the same, like a hospital, never dark. But the curtains had been drawn, and the room had been tidied. Myndee's wheezing was loudly distinguishable. They'd told her that Myndee's lungs would continue to fill up with fluids. They'd told her that night time was particularly bad. But Myndee had slept four hours without a problem. She went out to the nurse's station, her flower wreath askew, and told them about the breathing. A doctor arrived a few minutes later.

Myndee was wheeled directly into intensive care where her lungs would be drained. She was getting so little oxygen she didn't even wake up. Ten minutes later they brought the princess dress back and Maille hung it on a hanger in the closet.

She reserved reaction again, refusing to cry, refusing to feel the pain. She'd handled her feelings alone this way all her life. Except for the first days of last week, she reminded herself, when there had been someone else to feel with. But now there was no one and she did what she always did, she smothered those feelings. They didn't matter, only Myndee mattered.

A nurse came to tell her that Myndee was intubated, but awake, and wanted to see her. She went down the lighted halls in her sequined dress and felt a wave of ludicrousness, she wished she were in normal clothes for once, or even Kell's clothes. This was hardly the place to be wearing pink gauze.

She was led around the comer and there was Myndee, in a curtained cubicle, with too many artificial lights, making her look too pale, too small, too close to death. Tears did prick Maille's eyes, but Myndee held out her hand, and Maille, on sudden inspiration, knelt and took the little hand reverently, "Your majesty." she said and kissed the thin fingers gently. Myndee's wan smile was a joy to Maille's heart.

Where was this little girl's mother? Anger swelled for just a minute, but was dampened under the no emotion rule.

Myndee was too weak to do much talking but the silence bothered Maille, so she found herself talking. She held Myndee's hand and told her about her own life, her home in Montana, her younger brothers and sisters, her bedroom, her horse. She told about trips to Alaska every summer, and about visiting her grandfather in Wales. Maille talked quietly for an hour and then the nurse came in to inform her that Kell was on his way.

Part of Maille wanted very much to see Kell, to let him hold her and comfort her. But part of her

suspected that one of the reasons that Kell had not made contact with her in two days was because she had become so needy. Maybe she was too dependent. She needed to be on her own to experience new things, and then maybe Kell or someone like him would be interested in her.

She didn't want to see Kell right then.

Maille hurried out to her car, drove home to Park City as the sun came up over the Wasatch mountain range. There was no one home in Park City. She showered and hung up the princess dress, smiling at the memories of tea and crumpets they'd enjoyed while wearing it. She donned tan jeans and a white t-shirt with a brown sweater vest. She sighed. The same old colors, the same old clothes.

It was what she had... she excused herself, looking in the mirror and seeing, not the fresh and lively thing she'd been seeing the last few days, but the old sedate Maille. She pulled her hair back into a ponytail and let it fall to her shoulders. She kind of missed the cool silk of braids.

She drove to the music studio and went in to talk to Michael about a job. She didn't know when the idea had hit her that she wanted to work, but it did, sometime in the night. Michael was there even though it was early. And he was thrilled with Maille's offer. Told her to come back in two hours.

Maille Mann had one of the best trained and most versatile voices in the industry and she was a very good backup singer. He was looking forward to working with her.

Not hungry, Maille drove back over to Myndee's and sat in her room. She found out that Kell had just left, as she'd hoped he would, as he had a very tight schedule, getting ready for production in two days' time. She wanted to confront Kell, but not as a weak, needy, kiss hungry simpering little...

She dozed off a few minutes and then they said she could go in and see Myndee. When she went into the room, Myndee was awake.

*****