「warning: this update contains typical genjitsu cussing, tags of appreciation, and sentimental bullshit lmao」

　This started off as a short update on where I am with my writing and slowly progressed into this, sorry (not really). Anyway~

　If you've actively been with me from somewhere at the end of last year / start of this year then you'd know that for some time I was really invested in bettering my writing and updating more, and that I somewhat kept up with that motivation for a while. However, I've obviously lost that productivity so I'm going to explain to you why, the process of all this, and where I'm at now.

　So, at the end of last year I graduated high school, which was very difficult for me to do and I genuinely thought I failed for quite a while. This was because I was pulled out of class three days a week, every week, for singing rehearsals or Indigenous events.

　Subsequently I found it very difficult to complete assignments and pass exams but when I asked my year advisor for help she sent me off with a "We'll figure out something," and I never heard anything about it.

　With the constant singing, stress from exams and no rest I ended up losing my voice and getting sick on the day I had to perform on live television to the point where my voice box shut down. Despite this —and because I'm a stubborn bitch— I still sang, painfully. (If you guys want to see the video then let me know. [No one cares about you singing Erick])

　After that it took me a while to properly recover considering the fact I was still rehearsing for other performances and studying for my exams, which, in the end, was all for naught. During the exams period, I fell sick and had to miss half of my final exams and two of my subject exams.

　So, when I graduated I essentially gave up on anything that required even semi-strenuous brain activity, including writing. Wattpad itself irked me because it was just this bright orange, in your face site that encouraged productivity and creativity: two things that require thought process. There were many times I almost deleted the app because of this, but I loved reading too much to go through with it.

　And that's where MiAnimeLyfe came in. 

　As someone who's been in the Naruto fandom and on this site for quite a while I can honestly say I've read most of the "good" Naruto fan-fictions, so when I find an undiscovered gem I get pretty hyped.

　This was the case with The Paper Prince's "Naruto: The Blessing of Silence," which I thoroughly enjoyed (because I'm a sick, twisted bitch) and devoured the available content as quick as I possibly could. And as someone who's very vocal about her thoughts on various things I decided to inbox him and praise him on his amazing work.

　After that we continued to talk daily and I got to know more about him which made me realise how motivated he is. I mean, if you don't find someone who can go to College, write and plan multiple books regularly, compose music, and do track inspiring then I don't know what to say.

　Yet the main inspiration kicked in when he read "Dragon's Wake," which, at first, I was dreading because back before I deleted it I thought it was literal trash. However, he said he liked it and was waiting for another update.

　My reaction was somewhat akin to this:

　Like, this person who's stories are amazing and I think is one of the most motivated people to walk this fucked up Earth likes my shitty writing!?

　And then it sort of kicked me up the ass saying "Hoe you better write this shit, now!"

　So I did. I wrote more frequently than I had ever in my entire time on this site. But as I wrote more I saw the inconsistency in the quality so I decided to majorly re-write it. I was majorly inspired to do this shit! Thanks man!

　Then I got into the graphics community. Which is great and all because I met amazing people like its-amani-kin, yutta-hey and -Kyouka- who're amazing graphic artists, MagicMuffin33 who continued to order from my graphics shop when it was still new. AkahanaHyuga who really made my shop boom after I made her cover, NarutoUniverse_ who accepted me into their group (I mainly have HikariElric to thank for that) and so many more! 

　And I personally think that I've come so far in the graphics scene, popularity and skill wise —I obviously still have a long way to go, I look like an amateur compared to most of you— which I don't regret at all.  But I got so invested in it that I just have no motivation nor want to write anymore. It's gotten to the point where I have a book in my drafts that have all my stories up for adoption.

　But then yesterday lolaDawn tagged me in a list which she titled "THE BEST WATTPAD ACCOUNTS" and she described her reasoning as to why I (wrongly) fit on this list as "She writes good fanfiction AND makes good graphics. The angels are singing and she's the chorus," and I just— man! Kick up the ass number two!

　I just feel so bad that every time I'm ready to give up these amazing people just take the time out of their day to tell me they like my work and I honestly don't deserve it!

　Yeah well anyway, I just did this to update you guys where I'm at: I'm back into my writing. I'm a bit rusty and probably shit as so don't be afraid to chuck me a "Oi Genjitsu, this sucks," because I can only learn from criticism and Mama didn't raise no pussy!

#staymotivated